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 SRQleslie
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 126
Why don't women send the first email?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I consider this dating site to be an 'equal opportunity' forum! It is TOTALLY up to YOU (male OR female) who takes the initiative! I don't think there is any right or wrong way, etc.! I must say, that I don't personally initiate an e-mail that often! However, I have been pleasantly surprised, that the few men I have e-mailed, have ALL responded in a timely fashion, respectfully and certainly having the 'appearance' of initial interest! Although I must mention that my e-mails are not typically of a 'flirtatious' nature! Usually I have read something in someone's profile that either caught my attention; or I found to be clever or unique; or I just wanted to pay them a sincere compliment!
 thesilverdevil97
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 127
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Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/6/2008 6:32:43 PM
I send out emails to guys all the time. Sometimes they are short, asking one question or so. Sometimes they are longer, depending on how much THEIR profile gave me to talk about. Sometimes it is just a smart-ass remark because their profile, well, quite frankly, wasy amusing in some absurd way. I cannot stop laughing at the guy who looked like he went swimming in a bowl of Vaseline before taking a half nude shot of himself.

My smart ass emails are just for fun, but the others I hope will show that I read the profile of the guy and that I have some interest in him. About once a week I search on a keyword that interests me, like “writing”, “video games”, “Quantum Physics”, “Evolution”, ect. Then I pick through the guys that come up. If I like what I read somewhat, and they aren’t completely out there, I email them. I give them the benefit of the doubt and just send a little message unless they say something that tells me that they are out of the question. I get maybe 1, yes guys, 1 response for every 30 or so emails I send out. Now I know that is a higher response rate than what the guys get, but give me a break.

This isn't instant gratification, no one said that you would sign on to POF and super woman would jump into your lap. There can be a number of reasons people don’t respond. I do respond to every email I get, even if it’s a “I am not interested”, which I have done.

Word of advice, put more on your profile both in the interests section and in the “about me” section. I have talked to a ton of guys that IMed me and there was NOTHING on their profile that would have interested me. But after talking to them I found out they were way more interesting than what they had on either their “interests” or in their “about me” section.

You want more emails from intelligent woman who know what they want? Well, get with the program; put out there what you really like. This site has an advanced search option that allows “intelligent” woman who “know” what they want to search for it…. Give them the ability to find you.
 RkyMtnSnowflake
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 128
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/16/2008 4:38:53 PM
I've sent out thousands!
 MascaraMomma
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 129
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/16/2008 8:23:19 PM
I usually do send the first message. Sometimes I get a response, sometimes not but I don't let it bother me, you shouldn't either. Find something interesting to say before you send it, if they're only ignoring you for your pictures they're not worth the time of day.
 Lovenkindness
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 130
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/16/2008 8:33:33 PM
I send emails all the time. Sometimes I get replies, but most of the time I don't. So my questions is, why don't I get answers? I have a nice picture up and a nice profile. If I receive a flirt I answer back, if I receive and email I reply. So far, I haven't had a date and this is the second time I've been on Singlesnet. Who knows why people do what they do? I keep a positive attitude about it and continue having fun in my quest. And yes, a lot of men are just looking to hook-up! It's really sad.

Hope you start getting lots of emails.
 real1-2care
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 131
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 10/17/2008 4:49:53 PM
I take the initiative with emailing men. If I find an interesting or entertaining profile and if it is combined with a friendly face, why not? Isn't that why we are here?! The response rate may not be equal but that's ok. I'm just "trying" to let others know that I am here, sincere and open to meeting them even if romance isn't in the picture. I am always open for warm friends, connection, sharing and who knows what other possibilities might develop....
 logan3693699
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 132
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Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 11/26/2008 6:48:46 PM
I'm sure they were drinking brandy
 logan3693699
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 133
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Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 11/26/2008 6:53:26 PM
sorry was reading the back post lol
 Silver$Surfer
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 134
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 11/27/2008 12:07:35 PM
My 2 cents...
Have been on the site for a month. First time trying internet online dating. I have not had a ton of E-mails but the ones I have received, I have faithfully responded to. This has not always been the case with the E-mails I have sent. I have had 1 date and when I showed up, I did not recognize her from her profile picture, She had to walk up to me and introduce herself :(

My conclusion thus far is...Woman are overwelmed with responses they cant keep up with. While the guy who is not 25 to 30 with a half naked profile picture recieve little attention. Cant blame the ladies for going for it, If they are generating hunk interest. I'm sure many men would do the same if the situation was reversed.

For a guy like myself who is past the stumbles and the many mistakes of my younger counterparts, We are in this for the long hall. Its guys like us who are the keepers in the long term. I say keep it real and simple when doing a profile. Nothing worse in my opinion then to try to be someone who your not to generate interest. After the ladies wear themselves out with the immature and vain, They are left with the guys who will fulfill there stated profile goals.

I send few E-mails now. I rather have a lady break the ice. Because when she sends that e-mail, Its based on the profle I have submitted, which has generated enough interest in her to take the time to respond to it. This tells me she's serious about finding a love interest. I plain to be patient, Hoping for the best with low expectations from this Plenty of Dreamers site lol.
 _ApprenticeSoulMate
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 135
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Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 11/27/2008 12:33:29 PM

I rather have a ladie break the ice. Because when she sends that e-mail, Its based on the profle I have submitted,


I agree that it shows they are actually interested in your profile & picture, but it still doesn't solve the problem of using old pictures. I think some women are using their daughter's pictures. LOL I even asked one why she used an old picture and she said, "I really like the way I look in that picture." I think most of us think we looked better 20 or 30 years ago, but that's a nice memory and today is reality even if you don't want to face it (pun intended).
 SRQleslie
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 136
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 11/27/2008 12:35:04 PM

but that's a nice memory and today is reality even if you don't want to face it (pun intended).


WELL SAID!!!
 Lion_of_Ireland
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 137
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 11/27/2008 11:26:31 PM
I don't know? I get emails from women all the time. usually very nice, sincere hellos, asking me if that is in fact a carrot I grew in my picture.
 Silver$Surfer
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 138
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 11/28/2008 9:00:47 AM

women are using their daughter's pictures.

Which was the case for me. Was not her daughter though....
 Cajun3149
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 139
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 11/28/2008 9:17:54 AM
Women are always sending the first mail to me. Only one problem. They are miles and miles away from me.
 SRQleslie
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 140
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 11/28/2008 9:42:21 AM

While the guy who is not 25 to 30 with a half naked profile picture recieve little attention. Cant blame the ladies for going for it, If they are generating hunk interest. I'm sure many men would do the same if the situation was reversed.


Ardent, I can't speak for other women, but when I see a main profile picture that is 'half-naked', it does NOT appeal to me (at least as not as a 'potential' mate)


Since the profile IS the first impression and the first 'glimpse' into WHAT a person MAY be like, using a half-naked picture as your main profile shot seems to be sending a less than 'subliminal' message! NOW, on the other hand, secondary pictures of a shirtless guy on the beach ...............IS appealing.

It kind of goes hand-in-hand with some of the PROFILE NAMES people choose!
 Silver$Surfer
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 141
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 11/28/2008 9:48:26 PM

NOW, on the other hand...


 nmcmill2001
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 142
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 12/10/2008 10:09:29 AM
It's like the Saturday Night Live skit with Tom Brady about Sexual Harrassment in the workplace:

Gentlemen, the improper way to approach female coworkers is this (It show's this nerdy guy fully clothed going up to the woman at her cubicle to talk. She shows a face of disgust and marches off angrily.)

"Remember gentlemen, this is the proper way to do it in the work place (It show's Tom Brady in underwear going up to the woman to talk. She grabs a $5 out of her purse and slips it into his underwear.)

In other words it's all relative as she just demonstrated^^^^
 Nightwing66
Joined: 8/1/2006
Msg: 143
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 12/10/2008 10:27:40 AM
They do....fairly often, in my experience.

Now, I'm certaily not the best-looking guy around, so I think it really helps to have an interesting, well-written profile. If a woman can genuinely get the idea you might be an interesting, fun, thoughtful guy to be around they will step up & do the brave deed of contacting a man first.

For the ladies that do this.....please give a bit more to go on than "You look fun, what to chat sometime?". Especially if you profile consists of one head shot & two sentences about how you like dogs & 'having fun!" Not much for a guy to work with there!
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 144
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 12/11/2008 1:45:16 AM
After the ladies wear themselves out with the immature and vain,

Like I have said in other places, wait 3-6 months and those same women who wont return an email today will start appearing on the "haven't received an email in 24 hours list" and when you start seeing them consistently there you will start getting emails from them.

But then, I have to ask, are they the ones you really want? Personally, I prefer a woman with better discernment... One who can sort through the chaff and extract the wheat.
 justasimpleman42
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 145
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Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 12/12/2008 2:21:39 PM
I have gotten a cuple first e-mails from women. But only a cuple. I have sent out more then I have received . Most of the one`s I sent out I got no reply. Such is life.
 Flcruiser
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 146
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:24:22 AM
I send emails to guys that interest me, especially if they are in my area...sometimes I get a reply...sometimes I don't...guess that is why they call this fishing...sometimes they bite...other times they don't....
 JazzDan
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 147
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 12/15/2008 4:02:10 PM
In my case, I found love when a woman sent me a first email.

In 3 years I only had about 10 women initiate contact, and almost all of them were too far away for me, until...that fateful exception.

That's all it took.

Be patient...it's not easy, but I'm proof it CAN happen. :)
 SRQleslie
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 148
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 12/15/2008 4:36:01 PM

but I'm proof it CAN happen. :)


THANKS for posting that! It's 'refreshing' to hear a postive and optimistic POST! Maybe you can make a contribution to the NEW thread: Fairytale Ending??

 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 149
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 12/15/2008 4:52:12 PM

gotten a cuple first e-mails from women

Can ANYone guess why?

Women initiate contact all the time... especially when you give them a reason to. Bad photos, poor spelling, bad grammer and/or a bad attitude are NOT reasons for a woman to contact you.

Some guys on here get 100 emails a week from women who are making first contact... if some guys are getting that much and you are getting next to nothing then maybe you guys should look at what YOU are doing wrong and NOT blame the women for NOT being interested!

How hard is this for people to understand? If you dont put your best foot forward here you are NOT going to get the best you can get, you are only going to get what you deserve!
 ADaleFan03
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 150
Why don't women send the first email?
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:48:17 PM
I send emails out. And usually what I get when I look in my sent box is read/deleted. Nice, huh? So the real question should be, why when you get an email do you just read and delete. At least say thank you and kindly say you aren't interested.
Show ALL Forums  > Florida  > Why don't women send the first email?