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 Bendilin
Joined: 5/6/2005
Msg: 11
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
If they don't call back or don't answer your call ( If you call them, they have no reason not to tell you "no" ), it's probably because they were just looking for sex or some other shallow trait. Just forget 'em, you should be better than that.
 Bendilin
Joined: 5/6/2005
Msg: 12
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 9/17/2006 7:23:30 PM
EDIT: Oops, double posted, ignore this.
 sex_kitten_69
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 14
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 9/18/2006 3:31:09 AM
wow.needy much? it takes not being u.
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 25
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what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 9/20/2006 11:37:03 AM
Im sure it happens to both men and women. I think it boils down to not having the guts to say they don't want to b e with you. the easy solution is to ignore them and move on. I think they just don't want to hurt someone by saying they dont' want to be with you. I don't think it's what an individual does to get that, it just happens. It happens to me often and it's annoying!! but what can you do?
 jmn120176
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 41
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what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 9/24/2006 11:31:47 AM

Men don't know how to be honest. Sometimes I wonder if they just don't want to hurt your feelings or are just plans jacks.



And there it is...negativity and stereotyping at its best.



Yeah, really. Nothin says "date me" like bitterness.

As far as honesty and all that goes, I've had women ignore emails more times than i can count, and i think that sucks, especially on POF. What harm could come of an email? We've never met, you don't have to see me... what's the big deal? 'Fraid I'll come stalk ya?

I suppose it's a woman's perrogative to be dodgy. /sarcasm

I was dating a girl once whom as time went on I found myself less and less attracted to, and the hardest thing I ever had to do in a relationship was tell her just that, face to face. It was very difficult on both of us, but in the end, I felt better for having told her how I felt instead of just ending contact with no explanation. Why must people always take the easy way out?

And to the OP, unless you change yourself or attract a different breed of male, I will GUARANTEE that you will go through the same experiences you just had ad nauseam ... perhaps a little self-realization is at hand.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 43
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 10/2/2006 7:03:52 PM
Guys don't call back because it is difficult to face you. However, don't pat yourself on the back and claim that women do, because they don't. And, it is very unlikely that you are a very rare exception.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 52
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what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 10/7/2006 3:27:34 PM
I think we all agree with ya.....their needs to be some sort of honesty so you're not left wondering.
Sure no call means no "closure".....but most cannot stop themselves from wondering how it went from "damn, I really like you".....to nothing. Alot of us tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves when it comes to love....u spend some time chatting IM and on the phone and get excited u might have finally met someone u could get into....we get our hopes up way too high....so there not being a connection for the other person affects you too much..

If you are the person that wants to end it....
You don't have to be brutal...a simple email of I've decided to keep searching will suffice.


and honestly.....if he/she doesn't have the respect to at least give u a clue....you're better off. Just gotta get past the emotional fallout of being rejected to realize it first. The sooner u can admit that.....the better of u will be.
 mmenigma
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 53
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what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 10/7/2006 3:32:53 PM
Women do the same thing. I've heard of women giving out the wrong phone number or not returning a guys call after he does call (some of us do call). Groucho Marx said "I wouldn't want to be a member of a club that would have me as member". This is why people don't call back, they think if someone likes them they are not worthy of being liked or, on the flip side, if someone likes them they can do better then the person that likes them. It makes no sense but it happens.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 61
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 10/8/2006 9:19:09 AM
There have been a few men .... and a few of them have been like....i like u...i wanna see u again...to get in my pants...But bottom line...they lie to my face...why would they do that???
Because you reward us for lying and you punish us for telling the truth. If we lie, you may let us get into your pants. However, we have no chance if we tell you the truth and say, "I want to take you to bed, but you are not good enough for a long-term relationship."

...if they liked me enough to say that stuff in the first place, then they should respect me enough to be honest after the fact.....
There is no upside to telling you after the fact only a downside because you are not going to say, "I appreciate your telling me I'm not pretty enough except for a fling and to reward you for you honesty, I'm going to let you have sex with me one more time with no strings attached." Instead our honesty will result in tears or hostility with your calling us names.
 WarmCuddleBear
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 64
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 10/8/2006 3:31:38 PM
HMMMM? WHY DON'T WOMEN EVER CALL WHEN THEY SAY THEY WILL? HMMMM?
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 65
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 10/9/2006 7:56:00 AM

… i think that what SMJLE is saying is kinda a deception...(to get sex)...is that not wrong???!!
If someone really wanted to just get laid...then he/she shouldn't have to coerce anyone into it!! …And then if people follow this then the ones like me won't get hurt...
Of course it's deception but it leads to getting more sex with younger and prettier girls. That is better than settling for older, more promiscuous, and less desirable women. In an ideal world, there would be no deception, but men that did not deceive are not our ancestors. People do what is best for them, not what is best for you. The world is full of deception. Men deceive women to get sex. Wives fake orgasms to mislead their husband about their affairs and they deceive to convince a man that he is the father of her child. Politicians lie to get votes and advertising is deceptive.

Don't expect men not to act in their self-interest and, even if she is not pretty and desirable enough to marry, getting into the pants of a young girl is in their self-interest.

Instead of blaming men for following their nature, take responsibility for you own actions. When you meet a sexy good-looking hot guy that turns you on, don't be so easy. Tell him that he can have sex when you have the gold ring and, in any event, don't have sex until after you have dated for three months. That makes you more desirable to men that will want a relationship with you because, like it or not and regardless of what men say, girls that other guys can have are valued less.


I WILL ONLY BE HOSTILE BY GETTING LIED TO OR TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF!!! SO PLEASE DON'T ASSUME THAT PEOPLE WILL HATE U IF U CALL THEM TO SAY IT'S NOT GONNA WORK OUT....JUST BE HONEST AND LESS PEOPLE WILL GET HURT!
So if a man, acting in his own interest, lies to get into your pants, you are going to get hostile. In any event where is the upside? Again men are going to do whatever is best for them and not what is best for you. The downside is, there is no upside, it may result in a confrontation, and, at the very least, the man is forced to lie when you ask him to explain why it's not going to work.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 73
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 10/11/2006 7:07:48 PM

But i also think that people lie like this so that incase something better comes along, ...

Am I not right????

That and much of what you said is true but it doesn't change the fact that a guy cannot get into your pants by telling you the truth when the truth is, "Gal, you are okay for a fling, but then I'm moving on because I'm looking for someone better."

If you really want honesty, choose guys that think they are doing well. You can tell the difference between guys that you are all excited about and guys that think 'you are the living end'. But you don't want them anyway. Instead, you keep choosing the hot guys. You are 'IN LOVE'. Even though you know he has mistreated every other girl, 'He'll be different with you.' Why do you keep doing the same thing and expect different results?
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 80
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 10/15/2006 1:10:34 PM
Eddie, men bashing is the in thing and that is just the way it is. Of course women ignore email from men more than men ignore their emails but that's different. At least they they see it as different.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 83
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 10/22/2006 6:46:23 AM
Far less than it takes to get women to do the same.
 mpcli
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 85
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 12/24/2007 11:20:52 PM
I would just make the first date as short as possible. You don't have to open up your life story to him. If he calls you back after the first date, you can let him know more about you. Most guys are attracted to the beauty of a woman. They really don't care much about who you are anyway. Obviously, he is not the honest guy. He does not deserve you.
 Willsniffurundies
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 89
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what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:41:47 PM
First of all, from what I hear--women can be guilty of the same behavior.
These days women are often not held responsible for their actions--se the thread about a drunk girl saying: take me home and **** me.
These days the finger of blame is pointed at men first and names like rapist, stalker, etc are thrown about publically.
This has NEVER happened to ME.
WHY?
Because I let the women lead!
I might send you a quick text or I might not.
However, if you e-mail ME first or call me first or leave me a message first then I will return your call/reply as soon as I can.
Yes, if a guy is interested he will call. . .but not necc. an hour later and not necc. more than once without a response from YOU.
It is 2008. You have been empowered for decades. YOU can call, too!
(Again, if you call ME--esp. if I enjoyed being with you--I will get back to you as soon as I can because I want to be with you AGAIN!)
 williamc43
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 91
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what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 12/16/2008 8:16:17 AM
we all do this and anyone who says they do not is a liar,i have done this you have done this also you meaning women also,women can be the most hurtfull when this happens because they think right off the bat that this is a dog and dosen't deserve the effort!! so who is bad and who is good????this is just life!!!!!!!
 williamc43
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 92
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what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 12/16/2008 8:22:43 AM
in my book what it takes to get me to call back is to be honest not fake and say what you mean and mean what you say!!!
in other words dont lie to me or think you are any better than me because i can see it comming a mile away!!!
most women will shop around as a fellsafe while there dating a guy and then theres your trouble (a back up)
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 94
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 12/16/2008 11:38:44 AM
I think it goes both ways. Women give men the silent treatment and let them chase before turning them down. No wonder men don't chase!! (they shouldn't have to)

So, it goes both ways. Some people (not specific genders) can't help but be dishonest, as well as be honest. You roll the dice. Sorry, but thats life.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 98
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 12/16/2008 1:26:38 PM
I personally like internet dating... it removes that awkward phone call (since how many of us give out our numbers these days). And who wants the midnight booze hate calls???

In this world we can simply delete, block and move on.

And not one of you women in this thread can tell me you haven't done that here without explaining why first. So, can't have it both ways.
 kenfla38
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 100
what does it take to get a guy to call back and actually be honest??
Posted: 12/17/2008 12:57:05 PM

....but i never left anyone in the cold looking for answers...


In "dating" as well as life, ACTIONS speak louder than words...

IF HE'S INTERESTED, he'll call you and call you fairly quickly (no more than 3 days)... IF HE'S NOT THAT INTERESTED, he won't call.

Hint: ...If you CORNER a guy at the end of your first date.... "what do you think?".."are we going to go out again"... "do you like me?"... chances are you're NOT going to get a straight answer because you're putting someone on the spot and in a position where they probably don't want to hurt your feelings or RISK having you get "nasty" or make a scene when you hear something you may not want to hear...

I've found that most women DON'T want to be directly rejected and don't need some kind of "closure" after one date or a phone conversation... They would rather just not get a call, or a call returned, etc..... I personally would rather just not have a girl return my call, than to have her tell me directly that she wasn't interested... I'll call once.. possibly twice... If I don't hear back, MESSAGE RECEIVED (and that's fine)... BUT EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

But again... ACTIONS speak louder than words... IF HE/SHE IS INTERESTED, you'll know... IF NOT, move on.
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