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 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 116
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?Page 2 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
anenigma I've been following this thread and read some of your others.
I honestly feel you are a totally sincere, genuine person and your posts reflect a thoughtful individual who is wanting to have a good experience here. Threads tend to run their own course, and posting one can lead to a lot of unwanted things. People misread, don't read, judge, criticize and even flame.
You're a beautiful woman, Ray Charles could see that. I can only imagine what type of mail you've received, I know what I've gotten and still do, even though I've been seriously involved over a year!! And I'm MUCH older and not near the hottie you are.
I feel your frustration, and I've started threads where I've thought, why the heck did I ever do that. Read the posts and take them for what they are. Don't take any of it personal, these people don't know you, I don't either. I do have a good read on people and I get a good read on you.
Don't let it get to you, keep posting and starting threads, don't get discouraged. Your topics are always good and reflect a thoughtful, intelligent individual.
Keep your chin up, girl and don't let anything posted here get you down.
 skirtsandheels
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 120
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Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 10/13/2006 6:07:23 AM
BKLYNBOY1..... You want me to say NO???????????????????????????????/
 d.a.ling
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 122
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Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 10/13/2006 11:13:56 AM
Well, I'm probably late for the dance here and, upon viewing anenigma's most recent post, she may no longer be seeking a response. However, I would like to weigh in.

Anenigma, I would certainly not be offended if a lady told me outright, "There will be no sex on the first date." This, of course, assuming that the subject was originated in a gentle manner and not just sprung upon me from out of the blue. i.e. Me, "Are you enjoying your wine?" She, "By the way, I won't be sleeping with you tonight." That just seems to be a bit assumptive and confrontational to me. I think this is why a lot of men would be insulted.

I am certain, upon reading the OP's profile, that this subject matter would be approached by her with simple quiries and statements regarding sex previous to announcing her declaration.

On this site, or any other dating site, I believe we are all trying to find a special someone whose companionship we enjoy. As such, we must make statements, ask questions, give examples of who we are. This to the benefit of finding compatibility.

By stating your parameters regarding sex or any other issues important to you, you only help define who you are. I, for one, would be happy, as it allows me an easier understanding of the person inside the vessel. Unfortunately, I am very, very poor at reading between the lines.

As previously indicated, there are many forum posts regarding women's experiences regarding 1st dates and, unfortunately, very few place us men in a good light. So, it would seem that broaching the subject of sex on a first date does have merit, as does Anenigma's question.

It is my opinion that the art of love making is a wondrous, fabulous, heavenly journey. Two beings dancing on oh so many levels, the physical, the emotional, the mental, the spiritual. Their bodies, minds, and souls interacting, uniting, each feeding one another.

Sex seems to be pretty much limited to just the physical. Can there be anything else if it is, but, the first date? Why would I want to jeopardize the splendor the of former for the instant gratification of the latter?

Just one man's humble opinion.

Dave
 LadyNCuffs
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 143
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Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 10/21/2006 10:03:20 AM
NOBODY OWES ANYONE AN EXPLANATION prior to or on a first date... Any man (ok or woman) who goes into a date EXPECTING to get laid is a loser. If it happens fine it happens but if you have to pre-qualify yourself then you're with the WRONG person. Simple.
 LadyNCuffs
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 144
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Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 10/21/2006 10:04:51 AM
Wow Panicdance talk about BITTER. Whew..... somebody pass him a Thorazine.
 aqualung 919
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 146
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 10/21/2006 10:26:54 AM
simple.. now a days with these new STDs floating around some don't have treatment for it like herpes, HIVs, warsps, etc. , i myself wanting to get laid just like any average man will not expect sex on the first date, besides a woman who is willing to have sex on first day for me is high risk for STDs, i probably will not date her anymore if i found out she is willing for a one night stand, those days are gone in the 60s and 80s, although it happened to me in the 90s lol, i won't do it again for health reasons, i will have to know her lifestyle first.
 ztiger4u
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 151
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 10/24/2006 2:04:33 PM
stage of discovery - the begining, don t say a word. see if he has class or not. he s not worth it if he even hints at intimacy in the begining. if ur not a strong woman or have low selfesteem u will bend the rules for him. sex is so much better when two people have some kind of deep understading and respect for one another. having sex because of pitty or pressure sucks. no pressure should exisit if he is a true prince. tiger
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 155
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 10/29/2006 5:59:27 PM
^^^ Breasts are usually larger than the eyes anyway
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 159
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 10/29/2006 9:44:53 PM
It's not always the man that's horny. Some of us with 3 date rule some times get asked to make exceptions.
 stoneside
Joined: 9/3/2004
Msg: 161
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 10/29/2006 11:49:43 PM
Ummm, not if you don't want to ladies. And us guys hope you don't. lol

You have to allow room for lightening to strike. Dontca think?

Add on: I'm guilty, I've tried. Not only that but so did the lady, lol. Guys aren't the only ones that want sex if they're turned on and they are looking at what they want right in front of them.
 verybadsanta
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 175
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 11/2/2006 11:15:50 AM
First -- You shouldn't HAVE to say it, unless the subject of your goals for dating or a relationship haven't been discussed beforehand. If you made contact on this site, or any of the others, odds are he will be thinking that it is a possibility, but not necessarily as much as an expectation.
Second - IF you really feel that it might become an issue WITH THIS PARTICULAR GUY, it can't hurt to lay your cards on the table -- so to speak. If he cancels, you only miss out on a free meal...LOL.

Forgot who posted it, but it COULD be a good Player-Detector.

Santa in Arizona
 QazyGuy
Joined: 9/24/2006
Msg: 176
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 11/2/2006 1:17:09 PM
No, you should say YES to sex on the first date :)

JIM
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 183
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 11/3/2006 1:33:24 PM
nigma
He's a travelling celebrity be it rock star or sports star. The girls are normally all over him but he's picked you to date. He's in town for one night. The first date WILL be the last date too.

Are you still telling him no sex???????? Well????????

The reason that we guys get so offended when you raise the issue is simple.

We have all dated girls who have ranted on about no sex on the first date and being young and stupid at the time we have gone along with it not even kissing you goodnight at the door.

Come the second or third date and we are certainly after a bit of a cuddle. Not sex unless you want it. A simple hug and your'e throwing a childish tantrum about men being penis slaves and other such abuse.

Come the fourth date, another attemt at a hug, another tantrum.

The next date and we have decided that this girl is not for me and this romance with this abuser is going nowhere. So we tell you its the last date.

An apology, from you, for the abuse is what's in order. That and a total attitude change is whats needed to save the romance.

However an apology is not forthcoming. What the guys suddenly find is a face full of tits as the girl desperately tries to save a romance that was never worth saving. This sex is not a rape as its consentual and instigated by the girl. Bit it's still forced, resentful, and definitely second rate sex.

This sex does not save the romance. Even if sex is forthcoming on the next few dates its still this forced sex to save the romance. Guys DONT enjoy that sort of sex and eventually end the relationship anyway.


For all the jabberings about men being penis slaves its still the girls who are the ones carrying on about sex.
 djc02359
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 191
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Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 11/3/2006 3:08:58 PM
Aww. sex.. schmexx..it takes up too much of our time and thoughts when we have to think about when- with whom- ..I agree with the poster who said, "Have no expectations."

I have learned that every experience I have is new and I will ALWAYS learn something from it if I choose to. I have had dates ONLY to have sex..and I have dated men for weeks with no sex..You can't make decisions about circumstances that haven't yet happened.

We are all just Bozos on the Bus, folks..not creatures from other planets..we have the same desires, needs, and wants...

BTW_You should always respect a queen's opinion!!
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 201
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 11/5/2006 8:26:50 PM
No decent guy is even going to want sex on the first date. I mean if someone really wants to get to know another person, that is the kiss of death. You are still thinking about 20 year olds, when both the guy and the girl were more interested in sex than anything else.
=====================================
Youre either confused or lying Daneiel

1/ Decent guys want sex on ALL dates.

2/ Decent guys want sex, love, soulmates, everthing. They want it all. Whats such a big deal abut that? I've heard plentyof girls yapping "I want it all I wantit now"

3/ Wortless guys still want sex on the first date. They just don't want ot bother with a second date or a third.

4/ If worthless guys don't get sex on the first date then there wil be no first date.



Clear your head Daneiel. Start thinking for yourself. You've been listing to the rants of women, who need to give thier minds a really good bath, for too long.
 dentwebb
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 202
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 11/5/2006 8:44:26 PM
Well if you are looking for something as serious as marriage, I would suggest no sex on the first date! But the past will always catch up with you, and if you have done that before that will end it even if it gets further than marriage. Then it is perceived as lying! Either way is a catch 22, what we have all done becomes a part of us and does come out! I suggest complete honesty and if it becomes just sex, enjoy it!! If both can accept the truth, then it may work out, otherwise there is always a swinger lifestyle!!

Hey, Anenigma. You always ask some cool questions! You are a great moderator!
 MisterCharmer
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 215
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 11/18/2006 1:53:41 PM
Women want sex as much as men do... the problem is that they don't want it with a lot of the guys that take them out on dates..... and believe me, being pressured by someone that you're not sexually attracted to, SUCKS.

Cheers,
Luke


The Joseph Went South Podcast Show
http://joseph.libsyn.com
 laceyishere
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 232
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Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/3/2006 3:34:43 PM
I wouldnt even let a guy pick me up at my house on a first date, so that question would never even come up!! I think guys can also tell by body language whether or not they have a shot.
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