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 RealityOfLife
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 244
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?Page 3 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
(I don't do sex on a first date either, however few things are more obnoxious for a girl to say before a date then "Just so you know... I'm not sleeping with you on the first date")

(responce) Are you kidding me??,. obnoxious??,. to tell the truth??,......LOL

Id rather know ,.......

you should know how the other person feels about things before you meet,. this is part of compatabilty,.... oh I bet you loved those mystery prizes as a kid too,...LOL
 RealityOfLife
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 245
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/6/2006 5:01:31 AM
Godzilla :

you said this

(The real issue about being told this in those terms is that it tells me i am dealing with someone who is procedural in her approach to life.....a real turnoff.....)


your an example of a man who needs to know he has a chance of sex on the first date,.or you arnt wasting your time,.......you are the type who causes pressure on a woman for sex,.

"spontaneity " is fine,......but come on isnt truth upfront better?,..


heres an example of who you might not want to date Ladys,......

(Don't predefine or prescribe the content of any date before it happens - if you do, you might find it doesn't - if it does, you might find it too stilted to be enjoyable - if your preoccupation through the evening is simply your determination to keep your knickers on....well you ain't going to be much fun as company...you may succeed in keeping them on, but you'll also probably succeed in not being asked to have another date - a somewhat pyhrric victory, I would suggest)


bonzo boy,....sit stay! down boy,.
if you know a woman isnt going to "put out" on the first date,.and wont,.then your all fixed up not to have to see them,.... the truth beforhand gives you vital information about, if you would like seeing this person,.......


your a real piece of work Mister,.......but I am glad you are being honest,.sure makes it easyer to know who to pass by,...see the truth really is a good thing!!
 RealityOfLife
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 248
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/6/2006 6:55:18 AM
well arnt you full of yourself . ramboo

time after time hum?,.well arnt you the big ole stud muffin!,.Oh what a hoot ,.

if you read the posts you would know, women have expressed there interests in sex and how they prefer to be respected,...... one way or the other,....

there are some PEOPLE who want it fast ,there are some who are interested in more then that, yet more will even tell you there not interested in sex at all,...

that goes for males as well,......

did you make clear how you felt about it from the first??,......


If these women as you say are trying to jump your bones perhaps You are looking in the wrong area for women,.............
 RealityOfLife
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 250
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/6/2006 8:38:59 AM


your statements make me really Laugh!

ok hands up Men ,.how many take up that offer of sex on the first date,...????

come on dont fib here,.tell the truth,.....
 RealityOfLife
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 252
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/6/2006 9:33:19 AM
wow!

if it were clear to some men that a woman does not want to have sex on the first date maybe its purely because so many have tryed and I do say tryed,.this does not mean they were having alot of first date sex,.it means they want no mistakes about it,....instead of feeling pissy about it,....why not take it hows it is meant,....

"NO SEX ON FIRST DATES"
your statement of:
"I mean really, if your not having sex on the first date anyway, then why do you have to tell me"


well this is clear,......they tell you so you KNOW,....its called communacation,....

you want other truths from them or do you want to wait 9 months to find out some thing because like you say,...."if your not going to why tell me"

How many men sit there wondering if there date is interested in "it" "wondering" is the key word,.... if they make it clear then you know,.no desert with this one,.....



your statement is crude and rude,..... as follows:
"This proves my whole theory that the world revolves around the vagina"

maybe it rovolves around "it" because, " YOU" always WANT "it"
your statement ozzes of "it"
 RealityOfLife
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 254
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/6/2006 10:05:21 AM
sas40

yeah and if its said up front theres no need to wonder about it happening either,.........

the fact that "people" need to bring it up means there is a problem with dates thinking its part of dinner

what is wrong with the truth?,.......
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 256
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/6/2006 11:01:07 AM
OK, 2 admissions first off;
1.I haven't read every post here
2. I'm not a guy.

Why is this even an issue?? Sex on the first date is the great American dream( or Canadian British, Aussie dream) of most guys. But we women aren't supposed to know that LOL.
OP, if you are running into a LOT of guys expecting sex on the first date, maybe you need a course in remedial LISTENING??? If a guy's most primary( or ONLY) dating goal is to give the sausage a workout, that will come thru in the pre-date communications. It may not be blatant, but the clues will be there. Sure, making a statement of "no sex on the first date" will keep away the guys who have only THAT in mind, but it may also discourage other guys as well. They will see it as an indication of a totally anti-sex mindset,an attempt to rehab a promiscuous past, or maybe they'll just feel insulted.
Cindy O
 RealityOfLife
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 257
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/6/2006 11:56:56 AM
Eman

Thank you very much,...... I do understand what your saying,.and if as you say a woman tells you "sex isnt happening on this date" and there was nothing brought up about it while talking before hand then yes You have a right to wonder whats with it,....so Ill also concede that to you,....thank you for being polite., yes women control it but the pressure a woman feels when a gentlemen "trys it" is not a happy place for alot of women,...I think this also tends to make women feel they need to upfront make sure,.......there is alot of reasons im sure,.just try to be patient,.....
 Natscha
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 258
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/6/2006 12:14:23 PM
I would never even think of making something like that clear beforehand. Sex actually wouldn't be an issue because the kind of character I would go for, would be really interested in getting to know me as a person and way more mature than any guy who would have sex on the forefront of his mind when meeting me. An encounter with a guy that would cause me to even consider a question like the one you've asked, would leave me convinced that he's far from my type of man.
 RealityOfLife
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 263
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/12/2006 4:08:59 PM
Rambo


I didnt start the comment about the world revolves around the V ,
.just offended by it ,..........for which he said sorry and I left it at that so, take all the pot shots you want ,...it sure lets YOUR personality show thru,.....
 Drago13
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 265
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 12/13/2006 12:51:32 PM
Would you turn down $1000 if offered to you before you knew why? Sex on any date or on any day for that matter is determined by two people affecting each other in a stimulating way. To say that won't happen or you aren't going to let it happen before the date ever happens seems dumb and sends, to me at least, negative connotations about you and your thoughts about how you use sex in your life. Give me a smart, open-minded woman that can live with her life and make her own decisions. Tell me that the door is barred before I get there...and maybe I won't be the same man I would have been with you. I mean you changed...so isn't it acceptable that I change too?
Guess what I am getting at is that preconceived notions never work for anything let alone something as important in a relationship as sex. Keep your mind open and go with your gut. Amazing how smart our guts are.
 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 275
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History
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/6/2007 3:37:56 AM
I say yes. Weed out the those looking for an automatic booty call.
 intheswim
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 290
view profile
History
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/8/2007 10:35:47 AM
Speaking only for myself. I'm interested in learning more about the person on a first date, and if that goes well enough, learning even more on subsequent dates. Getting into bed in a hurry is nothing but a recipe for disaster, for either sex.

Anyone considering sex on a first date, male or female, is looking for that only, and/or an insta-relationship. Either way, not for me, thanks.

I don't need to be told. You should know me well enough by the time a date becomes something to do, that it doesn't need to be said.

Methinks it would be in your own best interests to get to know someone well enough to preclude this situation before the first date is even arranged.

Either that or change your profile to Intimate-Encounters.

It seems simple enough.
 LittleMissScareAll
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 301
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/11/2007 11:57:52 AM
eww, I could never have sex with somebody the first time I met them.
 papatee02
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 303
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History
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/11/2007 12:09:42 PM
i like ur stand on the ex on first day, you are brave
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 309
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/11/2007 9:44:26 PM

There are tons of posts on 'why does a guy always want it on the first date' etc, etc..
I want to know, when we say, upfront (say on the phone, or even possilby, an email) that sex on the 1st date is NOT going to happen, what do you guys think...most guys will be thinking about it, but not all are going to outright try. So, should we tell you immediately, and save each other time (and us a night of makeup ;)..or what?

In the first place, what women say upfront regarding sex has little bearing on what they actually do. Women are going to say whatever they are expected to say that makes them look good. Having sex is the woman's choice. In most cases if she wants to have sex on the first date she will; otherwise, there will be no sex. What men want doesn't matter, they can only hope.
 dentwebb
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 312
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/12/2007 10:59:23 AM
Myself, I certainly don't mind a woman telling me prior to that first date, there will be no sex. That makes sense to we men that understand that women are't as physically centered as we men. Nor are we men as emotionally centered as a woman. Therefore, I think it is a given that there should be no sex on the first date, unless each has agreed that is what they want. That is just as honest..
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 315
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/12/2007 11:25:28 AM
It doesn't bother me, because I know a lot of women say it just to come across as not easy.

A few years ago I met a woman and asked her out. When I picked her up she said 'i just want you to know, I don't sleep with anyone on a first date, or the first few dates for that matter'. I was like 'thats fine' but inside I got a little pissy. I thought ok two can play this game. When she IS ready for sex, I'm gonna make HER wait a little longer.

I made up my mind, then put it aside and had a good time. We were leaving the restaurant and she starts talking about sex. I stuck to my guns and I would change the subject back. I didn't want to feel like the puppy on a leash who stays away on command, and comes running on command. So when she tried to mention sex, I would change the subject to something else.

So finally she comes right out and asks me about my equipment. I told her and she says 'that sounds like a perfect fit for me. i guess we'll find out when we get back'. I was like, wow, I had no idea I would get to throw her shit back in her face THIS early!

This is where my man card is going to get revoked.

I said 'hmmm, I thought you said you don't have sex on the first date?' she says 'well, you've been really nice and respectful all night and you haven't been pushy and you didn't bring up sex. That tells me it's not all you want and as long as I know that, I'm happy. So, let's go back to my place'. I said 'nah, I don't want to ruin a good thing by having sex too early'.

keep in mind I really, REALLY wanted to. She was young, pretty, and eager. But I was just so irritated by her opening statement at the beginning of the day, I cared more about making her eat her words, then getting laid. So she tries and tries to talk me into going inside, and I wouldn't. So finally she says 'well can I get a good night kiss?' So she leans over and goes right into a porn kiss, tongue and everything. I kissed her for about 5 seconds, pulled back and said 'hmm, that was nice. Well, Ill call you later'.

haha. So I left feeling pretty good. She thought she was laying down the law and I turned it around and denied her. WOW did that feel good. Really got to hold my head high.

About two hours later I'm banging my head against the table going WHY WHY WHY. I totally let my brain rule my little head, when as a man it should be the other way around!! haha

So now I know when a woman says it, some women don't mean it. She might, and that's cool but I have totally changed my attitude about it. I know that if she really wants to, she will break that rule. If she doesn't I just figure it wasn't the right night for it. That's ok too. In the end there is no sex until the woman wants to do it, but I just ignore those 'i dont have sex on the first date' statements. I know too many women who do it and just tell themselves later 'one thing led to another, i didnt plan on it'. lol.
 R_U_Perfect
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 317
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:10:32 PM
Exactly what is the object of your Dating??? are you looking for SEX or LOVE??? if your looking for SEX then get it done and move on...

But your Looking for LOVE, then you must understand that LOVE is a slow moving fire that burns deep within your heart and SEX is that climactic moment when your LOVE is at it's extream high end...

If you build your Fire Right, then your LOVE will burn FOREVER deep within your hearts, but if you cut corners or use cheap wood, then your fire of LOVE will flicker and go out and it will never come back again...

All you will be left with is SEX and nomatter how much you get it will never be very good...
 CreativeAdventurer
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 323
view profile
History
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/12/2007 6:37:28 PM
If you want a mans truth, every one of us is thinking sex. period. Some are true gentlemen about it ,some go to jail, but make no mistake about it....We are thinking sex.We go to the supermarket ,we think sex,we go to the zoo...Hey check out the monkeys ! Of course,a respectful man will let nature take its course ,and so will the woman.But utimatly ,no sex =no relationship. The man will move on in search of satisfing his savage lust. Rest assure he dearly wants to bring the prize home to his cave and lick faces.
Being up front and honest gives you a major plus in my eyes, and I would want to pursue you to find out if your a woman of substance j.s.
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 324
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/12/2007 7:31:38 PM
to be perfectly blunt, if you *truly* don't want men bothering you online, make the profile very bland and post no pics. i think you protest a little too much...
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 325
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/12/2007 7:33:28 PM
another point: if some guy doesn't want to talk to you after you refuse to have sex with him, then he's not worth your time (can you say user?). guys who truly like you will wait until it's right for both of you.
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 326
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 2/12/2007 7:38:35 PM
last point: my 1st husband waited until we got married to have sex with me - didn't want to spoil our wedding night...he was head-over-heels for me. 2nd husband and i didn't have sex until we were engaged to be married - he cared enough about me that he was willing to wait. if a guy likes a gal THAT much, he'll wait...for years if necessary. i know. if he won't wait, it's booty call only.
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