|Older datersPage 2 of 2 (1, 2)|
|First off what is this nonsense about pickings getting slimmer post 45??? I have another 9 months before I cross that particular milestone, and would hazard to say the pickings haven't been better, then they have been in the past 2 months, for a long time. I fail to see how it will magically get worse in so short a time.|
I am inclined to agree with Doc Frapplesnort on this one. While I understand we do reach a point were we are "set" in our ways, you can run the risk of becoming so set in your ways, that no other human being could possibly fit the mold. If you allow this to happen, you cannot then cry "Woe is Me!" because you didn't give anyone else a chance. It is one thing to have high standards, quite another to have them set so high you find yourself alone, and then whine about it. If you prefer it that way fine, don't b*tch about it. There is the old saying to consider; "Beggars can't be choosers". All depends where you draw that line.
Have fun ;)!
Posted: 10/10/2006 1:58:56 PM
|I get the same impression. From the women's ads (including other sites) I get the impression they are looking for a platonic friendship too.|
Posted: 10/10/2006 3:13:36 PM
|waldo...you weren't talking about me!|
Posted: 10/10/2006 4:05:17 PM
|Of course we're more set in our ways, and more sure about what we want, then we were in our twenties or thirties. But that's also why, when I talk to someone in his or her 40s or older, I usually feel that there's a real person there, a real personality, which isn't always there with a younger person. And we're less flighty, which is the flip side of being "set in your ways".|
I think men are afraid of hooking up with a "matronly" (for lack of a better word) woman, and if your profile doesn't have anything light and flirtatious in it, then there's a fear that you are a middle aged woman who isn't interested in sex. And there is the visual element - I think that a woman of average weight looks far more attractive to men, it's really more important than if you're conventionally pretty or beautiful.
POF isn't the be-all and end-all. There are a lot of single older men out there (I happen to practise family law and many of my clients are or will soon be single!) I don't think that any one who is the least bit discriminating or discerning can rely on a free internet site to find the mate of his or her dreams. The best that POF can offer is that you may meet someone who you ordinarily wouldn't run across in daily life. But there's no substitute for having a life and for getting out there and meeting people face to face...
Posted: 10/10/2006 8:38:54 PM
|We've all had bad dating experiences. We've all suffered from rejection. We all want to come up with reasons why its not our fault. As soon as we generalize from them and start projecting, instead of just assuming or accepting that it was not a good match and moving on, we damage our own ability to date. In general venting on a dating site is an effective means only for reducing your odds of getting a date.|
There is every type of guy and every type of gal at every age level. In the real world 95% of the people you meet you would not think of dating. Nor would they think of dating you. Why should it be different here?
In general I am not inclined to date or respond to a woman who complains generically about men even where numerically I might in theory agree with her. If a woman contacts me and comes across as genuine but not my type (or I am obviously not hers) then she gets a polite response saying thanks but no. If she even hints at issues I won't bother to respond. I did once and learned my lesson well. If you have a bad view of "all men" or some subset thereof, then don't date or ask them out. If your not positive prior to the date no one wants to waste their time. Being positive is a necessary albeit not a sufficient factor in today's dating world.
Posted: 10/11/2006 11:17:13 AM
|I am finding that being, uh, "older" and wanting someone in my life and looking for that someone, is not as easy as when I was younger. I have definite qualities that I look for in a man. Maybe I'm kidding myself or maybe I am just more cautious. Maybe I don't have the time to devote to looking as I once did or maybe I just don't want to settle. At any rate, hang in there ctrydancer, have some patience, and keep looking. There are some great men here that are just as cautious and know exactly what they want as we do.|
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:25:09 AM
|I'm not a picky man, just cautious, i don't have the money i once had, that means i can't go, and do something's i would rather be doing,i find myself settleing more everyday, i know there is a lucky lady out there, who will find a real love, once she finds me, or i find her, after 50, i do think thing's change...I heard someone say, There my be snow on the roof, but there is still a fire in the stove...so I'm going to keep on trying, i know I'll make some lucky woman happy....I am an Older Dater, and i have fun...|
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:34:03 AM
|Well 51 is not exactally "old", but hey! thats me.|
Have you noticed the over 45 forum? There seem to be tons of people there.
I live in NC too and date older....Seems to be plenty there as well. What is your age preference?
Many people "Older" arent net savvy (I didnt say all) And God bless them, they still meet people the best way possible....In person.
Consider real single groups in your area.
Posted: 1/8/2008 9:47:05 AM
What's this old crap?
I'm 57 and I have more energy than I did in my 20's and 30's.
I was always tired and sleep deprived with 4 children.
I used to put my alarm clock in a tin can so I could hear it.......and still got up late.
Now I have an internal alarm........hate to burn daylight.
I do not wish to sit in a rocking chair or porch swing ( I might build one though) and watch traffic go by.
Nor do I want to just drive around...........when I read, "get in the car and see where the road leads us"..........nope.
When I go there's a purpose/mission/activity that I've planned.
Festivals are great and I have some of my 08 calendar already marked.
There is nothing wrong with going by myself since I find me very good company.
Some of the best vacations, except when the children were small, are the ones that I've gone alone. Nothing like drinking coffee and watching the sunrise. And the pleasant sound of no winching.
Worse vacation was when a certain person (x) whined about too many bugs, the ground was too hard, showers not warm enough and it being to dark...yipes there was to much nature out there.
I've had more rude questions from older guys than younger ones.
I've taken a leaf out of Millie Jackson's book: I don't date anyone younger than my oldest child.
Ya ll just keep fishing.