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 AUTHOR
Update your pictures!Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I have a different take on the recent-pics issue.

Pics basically serve three purposes: So someone can identify you when meeting them in person; To see how good-looking you are or are not; To provide some impression of you according, not to yourself, but to things like the kinds of pics you have, like background, clothing, pose, etc.

If you're drastically different than in your pics such that a person can't even pick you out in your first meeting place, then that's a fail. And, if you're physically drastically different presently than in your pics, it can be another fail.

Otherwise, what I'd make a point about here has to do with your good-looking-ness. It has to do with the different things that people are looking for, what they prioritize, and how intelligent they are in how they go about it.

If what you're looking for requires a certain physical attractiveness, then a more recent pic is important. This is primarily for the short-term-dating and mostly-sex crowd...I definitely don't mean "only", just "primarily"; you could want much more and still want someone who's attractive, but this point is more easily made coming from this direction.

Now...if you're looking for a certain kind of connection attributed to more serious and long-term interests, your thinking is a little different. Not that you don't want someone who's attractive. But more like you understand that usually, even if not always, all of the pictures in the world matter very little once you spend some time with someone in person. You understand that "how good looking someone is" is very influenced by how they are when you're around them in person. And you understand that even visually you can't really know until you're around them in person. If you're wanting something for more serious, close, and long-term purposes...even if you want them to be attractive, your attitude is such that a lot depends on how someone is over time, instead of just how they are "right now".

Ok so...I'm saying all of this to introduce a very particular way of thinking about it: You're looking at a pic not to see if someone is good-looking, but instead to just make sure that they're not-ugly, or are within a certain "range" of 'looks'. And then the real proof-in-the-pudding comes after you spend time around them.

Hence, you only really care if the pics are not-recent in some way which is very deceptive in any of several ways, or makes it hard to recognize them when meeting. Otherwise, if you're looking for something more serious and long-term, and you have any sense, you're not putting so much on attractiveness according to their pics - you're not trying to see if they're sexy enough, but just seeing that they are not-ugly or are within a certain range of 'looks' or at least in your ballpark or down-your-alley of 'looks'.

Myself, I'm not drastically different in any important way than my not-recent pics, and I happen to be someone who you could recognize if meeting me in person. So, it's almost another one of my "tests" to NOT have recent pics, because of who I'm looking for...to see what a woman's understanding and attitude is.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 42
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/20/2015 4:47:40 AM


And I have trouble finding any sympathy for people who over-emphasize the importance of pictures so much that they suffer such a crushing disappointment when they meet in person.


Yeah, this site needs a dramatic overhaul. Do away with being able to upload pictures, and change the name of the site to Plenty of Fantasy. The "writers" of POF can finally have their time to shine! 2,000 word messages chock full of "erotic literature" and "poetry" that all amount to "hey, I want to f*ck you".

Make it happen, Markus. Make it happen.
 Eekitsthebug
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 43
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/20/2015 4:04:39 PM

The more dubious of profiles would be the ones that seem to be misleading via old and carefully chosen photos.


Since I'm not here looking for anyone I have a picture in my profile that is more representative of me and this more flattering photo. I learned the trick from observing another poster. You can shave off by weight using the right angles. I even caption that this is not really how I look.

In the past I have gone to meet men only to not be able to recognize them. Live and learn.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 44
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/20/2015 4:52:52 PM
I find using an etch o sketch, or one of those courtroom artists drawings avoids confusion.
Or a cave drawing. I wonder if they worried about the angles on those?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 45
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:13:19 AM
Speaking of angles - I always get a kick out of the POV shots gals like to take while lying on the beach somewhere. Sure, the scenery in the background is very cool, but several of them forget that the foreground includes the empty space between their legs. It's stupid in the first place to include shots that don't include your face, but one of these days hopefully they realize that framing means everything to a shot like that. Captioning "Wish You Were Here" only makes it worse, LOL.
 J_BigHorse
Joined: 7/17/2013
Msg: 46
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:17:14 AM

Since I'm not here looking for anyone I have a picture in my profile that is more representative of me and this more flattering photo.


A simple nod to reality is in order here. You look pretty and markedly younger than your listed age in BOTH pictures, just a little bit petulant. Would love to see a smile on your cute visage.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 47
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:45:53 AM

Ok so...I'm saying all of this to introduce a very particular way of thinking about it: You're looking at a pic not to see if someone is good-looking, but instead to just make sure that they're not-ugly, or are within a certain "range" of 'looks'. And then the real proof-in-the-pudding comes after you spend time around them.


I have dates / meeting with people that had mediocre photos of themselves. They could be an okay looking person with a great personality. Or they aren't photogenic and look better in person. Having said that, pictures can reveal traits that can be obvious visual dealbreakers for someone. Obesity, hairstyle / facial hair etc.
 Axis555
Joined: 3/29/2015
Msg: 48
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/23/2015 2:14:57 AM
Pictures should be depicting what the person looks like in reality.
So obviously if they are old pictures, they may not actually represent what the person currently looks like or generally looks like. That may keep potential deal breakers hidden. I think the most common visual deal breakers are, weight/obesity, hairstyle and facial hair.

I would consider it akin to lying if a man has pictures up of himself always cleanly shaven when in reality he doesn't shave and has a beard. Any woman meeting him would be taken aback, since going by his pictures they expect him to not have facial hair.

Then of course there are some people who gained a lot of weight in a short period of time and use old pictures prior to the weight gain. Then there are the people who try to angle the pictures in such a way that hides their body composition/their obesity. That is misleading as well and such pictures don't truly depict what the person looks like in reality.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 49
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:18:15 AM

BTW - the pictures with the embedded 'POF' logo in them are somewhere around five years old now. It's a waste of words sending preachy messages to those people as well.


That's, of course, if they're in the middle of their middle-age phase, when changes are likely to occur rather rapidly -- and they're messaging people for dates. And I mean profiles that have every single picture bearing the POF stamp on them -- not just one to entertain a prospect of what used to be them.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 50
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/24/2015 3:20:03 AM

The more dubious of profiles would be the ones that seem to be misleading via old and carefully chosen photos. When you are looking for anything even semi-serious, you should expect the photos to be representative of the person. From what I see just from the forums alone, many people are using archaic relics of themselves and seem to be hiding visual flaws.


I've noticed that some people declare themselves of being at a certain age when they appear older than that in their OLD photos. WTF.
 J_BigHorse
Joined: 7/17/2013
Msg: 51
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/24/2015 4:11:12 AM

Well this is a pet peeve of mine on plenty and on a couple of other dating sites I've been known to use (that shall remain nameless). I've used online dating sites for about 3 years on and off now. I do so because I'm generally shy in a bar situation, but not the least bit shy, if I've already chatted to someone online and am then meeting them in person...so basically online just suits my personality and it works (lots of dates... a few relationships, just not "the" one yet). So I'll come and go from these sites depending on whether things are heating up with someone. Now every time I come back, I post some RECENT pictures of myself. And then frequently get emailed by ladies who don't recognize me from ages ago (since I am using new pictures), but the kicker is that these ladies, who I may have seen online more than 2 years ago still have the same pictures!

I don't mean to be rude, but nobody looks the exact same as they did 2 or 3 years ago (except****Clark). Now heck, you might even look better than you did in the past...many people look better with some experience on their faces :) So all I'm saying is keep your pictures up to date a little, as it really is somewhat false advertising otherwise. Are cameras really that hard to find?



I've noticed that some people declare themselves of being at a certain age when they appear older than that in their OLD photos. WTF.


I lurk here occasionally and post rarely but I must say: if doing online dating, the lesson I learned is choose only to contact those with several photos that appear recent. It would be a safe assumption if there is one old photo or a few old photos (or no photo like myself who is actively pursuing a woman I met in another venue) that they are not who they declare themselves to be.

EBM, here's to hoping it works out next time. Good Luck. In my lurking, I have found you to be honest about your appearance with regular "honest advertising"!
 ItsNotAlwaysArt
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 52
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/26/2015 12:00:44 PM

Oh dear not another newbie who thinks his idea has never been thought up yet.
Learn to use the search feature. There are only a zillion other threads on this topic already.


uhm, I was here 4-5 years ago, and it was problem then.

I HATE to say it, but I've seen profiles, again, I was last here in 2010/11 THEY HAVE THE SAME PHOTOS UP.
And, as I'm searching a specific type/age etc in a specific area, I thought, whoa, they should purge the system, but then I spotted the "online this week" thing.
Minimally deceptive dont you think?
 ItsNotAlwaysArt
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 53
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/26/2015 12:02:57 PM

I've noticed that some people declare themselves of being at a certain age when they appear older than that in their OLD photos.


aint that the gospel....a life of smoking, drinking, laying in the sun and casual exposure to leaking nuclear reactors couldn't age someone that much.
I'm talking what my first thought was a 15 year difference.
 StarliteKisses
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 54
view profile
History
Update your pictures!
Posted: 4/29/2015 9:47:26 AM
I recently returned to POF after being gone for about 2 years while in a relationship. I tried to post new pictures, but have not been able to do so. Uploading pictures used to be so easy here. I can't even post them from Facebook. I did manage to post one from my tablet (its not very clear), but thats all. I can't even write dates or comments on the pictures I already have posted. I contacted POF, and they said they are working on it, but they aren't.

Just wondering if anyone else is having these issues?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 55
view profile
History
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/4/2015 5:31:48 PM
There is another issue which has plagued both me, and some others I know here.

We've TRIED to post updated pics, and had them deleted by way of complaints from SOMEONE. The reasons don't match the pictures (no face, when the pic is of your face). And the system auto generates a threatening message whenever someone attacks your photos, and the system note threatens to put an and to your ability to upload pictures at all, if you guess wrong, and displease anyone else.

I personally am afraid to try to post any newer pics of myself here. Instead, I will direct anyone I meet here who want to see a more recent pic, to find me on one of the less strangely run sites I use.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/4/2015 5:44:44 PM
I agree that to say that everyone changes within 2-3 years is not correct. Maybe different hairstyles or weight loss or gain perhaps but I know people who have not changed in 5-8 years and in some cases, look even better. I have the same wrinkles I had 10 years ago, no more or no less. I am told that by many and I see that it is true. Lifestyle contributes to how we look and our genetic heritage. Just a comment.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 57
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/4/2015 5:58:11 PM
I had the MESSAGE.. my face was clearly visible, wasn't from rate image..
someone sharpening a knife? Please.
And re above
yep, everyone changes. You may think not but you have
 Eekitsthebug
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 58
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/4/2015 9:02:45 PM
Ouija and Igor, so who did you two pizz off? Don't you just pity the gutless?
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 59
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/5/2015 2:35:41 AM
Nobody is to be pitied for wanting a better quality dating site, with photos of people clearly visible face. Picturless profiles are allowed, so there aren't any complaints there, other than the desired traffic that isn't received because of it.

Igor, your photo isn't 20 years old and Eekitsthebug you have a clearly visible, nice updated photo.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 60
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/5/2015 6:29:07 AM

yep, everyone changes. You may think not but you have


I recently looked at a group photo of some co-workers that was taken about 3 years ago. One person lost a decent amount of weight since the photo was taken. A second person has a beard now. But didn't when the photo was taken. I didn't notice any significant physical changes among the rest of the people.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 61
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/5/2015 6:31:33 AM
Ms. Ouija.....

Clearly in your case...it is a matter of pettiness and jealousy.
When faced with a vision of both inner and outer beauty....the miserable will just not stand for it.
Both sad and true.

And no Ms. Bug....I do not pity the miserable in all their pettiness....their misery is their just comfort.
Oh and that new pic? Don't think I don't see that smoldering come hither look you're trying to mask, Hot Stuff! :D
 Eekitsthebug
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 62
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/5/2015 6:49:11 AM
KJ, gotta love ya gurl.

Eternity, if people were voting off bad pics (rate pictures) I would agree, but one of the ways the gutless get revenge on people that disagree with them is to report pictures. This practice is several years old. I feel sorry for people that haven't got the courage to just have a disagreement. I may not agree with many if your posts, but you aren't a crybaby and I can admire that. Can you imagine being so petty that you would falsely report someone's picture to get even? What an existence that must be.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 63
view profile
History
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/5/2015 8:24:10 AM
My photo is 2 years old. I am not photogenic at all. I worried about it for a while. I periodically tried to get new photos, and disliked them intensely. Recent meets confirm that I am easily recognizable, and not hideous.

Of the men I have met, the majority look older, fatter or thinner, often more frail and mostly less attractive than their photos. It is largely due to the age bracket I'm in. Hey, what do you expect for someone in their 60's anyway? I don't hold it against them. Several were not recognizable at all.

Since I am steadily losing my enthusiasm for OLD, I have decided to not bother trying to get a more recent photo to put on here. If a man in my age range thinks looks are that important, and can't bother to read my profile in full and see that I'm healthy and active, well, f 'em.

I'm supposed to see someone tonight for a second date, if a miracle happens, and we have a winner, I'll delete my photo and will fade away from here.
 2015cashmere
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 64
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/5/2015 8:28:32 AM
Voting off or voting for pictures is a crybaby way of dealing with opinions or personalities you either don't agree with or don't care for. It is not an adult way of doing things, it is like a temper tantrum from a two year old.

As for pictures, you don't need to have a picture to have a profile on here whether you are dating or not. You can join up with full access to the dating site and forums with no picture. So why all the hoopla over deleting someone's picture for what ever reason. If you can go without a picture, why can't you be wearing sunglasses. If a gal can post a picture in a bikini on a beach, why can't a guy post a picture wearing a swimsuit and no shirt on a beach? I've seen gals draped over beds with their goodies all hanging out...they don't get removed.

There was not a darn thing wrong with Ouija's photo or IG's photo, just a few folks with a high school mentality reporting them for removal. The same applies for the "children" that voted off Halcyon and Blonde. Grow up folks.

"...petty...." Petty, that is an understatement.
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 65
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/5/2015 8:39:44 AM
Pictures more than 1 year old are pretty much too old, really.

When you consider in a year a lot of changes could happen, probably didn't but *could*
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