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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What does "my children come first" mean to you?      Home login  
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 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 226
What does my children come first mean to you?Page 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

What it means is if you go on a date, he/she will be phoning or texting the babysitter every 15 minutes, just in case there's an "emergency" and the time spent with you is just time filler. If the date finds out that Bratley sneezed, the date will immediately end and the parent will rush home to take Bratley to emergency at the hospital, leaving you wondering and thinking "what the hell was that?" Too many breeders are totally paranoid about possible emergencies and are totally consumed from the fear. They become placenta-brained


When i dated, i never had to leave early for a kid emergency.

However, my husband had to consantly leave early and cancel dates because of his career and business.

He did not have a child.

I did.

Try dating a police sargeant and limo service owner.

He is not the only on either, most men i have met have have important jobs and were on call at any given time.
 teuton_7
Joined: 11/18/2011
Msg: 227
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 3:37:42 PM
It had become a total nightmare to read always the same phrase; My children come always first. What are those women / mothers thinking? Are they really that far from reality??? What do they want? A man or a doormat? See, here's the thing. They also claim they want a "real" man. But those women are completely clueless what a real man is. No man should ever put in the position to bow down to children. Do women even understand how difficult it is in the first place to raise another mans children? It's against our nature. It had become a sad norm that women glorify and usually spoil their children rotten. And any man coming in their lives have to suffer emotionally under it. I just hope that one day man turn back into man and refuse to be treated like this. So my word to my fellow man is, don't write to any woman who states her children come always first. Let them stay alone till kingdom come and marry their children.

I'm a single dad. I love my daughter and always will be there for her. But she will never be before my woman. This is our nature and it's also Gods way.

Of course I will get lot's of heat for this now from all the obsessive single mothers.
 droidfanatic
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 228
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 3:58:06 PM
For me, dating a girl with a dog/dogs is far worse than dating a gal with children.
 Truth2882
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 229
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 4:59:17 PM
Ive dated women with kids. I really dont want to go down that road anymore unless its the right situation.
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 230
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 5:59:46 PM

It had become a total nightmare to read always the same phrase; My children come always first. What are those women / mothers thinking? Are they really that far from reality??? What do they want? A man or a doormat?


Yeah, sometimes I see disaster written all over this dating situation if she makes a statement like that. It probably means, "My kids are brats, so if they destroy your personal property and you yell at them.....take a hike bud! My kids come first!"
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 231
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 6:03:38 PM

Hey - I'm older than dirt


Hardly.....you're a goddess. :)
 amalefriend
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 232
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 6:11:32 PM
I don't know why parents need to spell this out to a potential date "my children come first." Most people wouldn't expect you to neglect your children to date. It's a given but you don't have to rub it in. I find that line to be tired and offensive. I just push the "next" button when I read that in someone's profile. I think you should get counselling so that you can learn to act on something other than your guilt.
 purfectmeow
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 233
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 6:11:41 PM
What does it mean to me? They are not going to get a date; the end.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 234
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 7:38:23 PM
It means the parent will invite you over from time to time to watch a DVD movie, but the movie will be a kid's movie-a Barney or Spongebob Squarepants type of movie, that you will see over and over and over with his/her kids. And instead of sharing a bottle of wine or having a beer while watching the movie, you will be having juice or soda pop.

Occasionally you will be going out for dinner with the kids in tow. Fine dining with the kids consists of going to McDonalds and buying them Happy Meals. The parent will never see real food until the kids are older and start hanging out and eating with their buddies.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 235
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 8:09:29 PM
"What does my children come first mean to you?"

It means that their (adult) kids are spoiled brats who run Daddy's life, and there's no room for a romantic relationship with a woman, therefore no chance that I am interested in having them compete with me for his time and affection.

If Daddy has children who aren't adults yet, it means I skip his profile, because if I wanted to raise kids I would have had my own and I'm too old to start now. God bless him and help him find the lady who either already has her own young kids or wants somebody else's.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 236
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/11/2012 9:50:09 AM
Complex issue but basically we want attention just like everybody else. Can you honestly say a single mother can provide as much attention as a woman without kids? I think single moms, or dads for that matter, have it the hardest when it comes to initially meeting someone because, yes, your kids do come first and you just don't have as much time as the others to provide attention. I think you just need to find someone that is patient and understands. Men who don't understand are not inherently jerks, they just want more attention then you can offer them.
 jonabella
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 237
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/11/2012 5:45:16 PM
men and women have a different kind of love
children have our love and devotion
we are duty bound
love of any kind is not burdened
marriage = mutual partnership
circumstances and commitment meet
where ever love grows~
 redsox322
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 238
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What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/11/2012 6:03:59 PM
It means to me you have no time for me bye
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 239
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/11/2012 6:28:16 PM
It means they are a good parent which is the way it should be. If you date them you need to understand that the kids take more time.. You might end up hanging not just with them but also there kids. As for me I would rather not go there.. If there ends up being more the two people then you have an instant family.. Not going there, Most of the time I tell single parents they should date single parents as both can understand each other better.
 redsox322
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 240
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What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/11/2012 6:31:26 PM
I agree completely. Most singles without kids dont want the responsibility of a kid that isnt there own.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 241
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/11/2012 10:39:41 PM
Kiashmiah

Why are you even bothering to date? You have no time for it. I can understand a man being pissed off. As for your teenagers, he is not willing to deal with all that and come a very poor second.
 rockhound82
Joined: 5/26/2010
Msg: 242
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 3/8/2013 6:57:53 AM
I had this discussion with my wife and we both have our different views.
First off, I think everyone has their own interpretation on what it means that "kids come first".

I think the difference with this argument is between separatist and unification of the family. I also think it can be boiled down to people who are religious and hold high values of marriage and those who think its a piece of paper. From my research it appears that people not mentioning religion are the ones that say kids come first.

The other side is a value system which has been carried on from generations. I believe the "kids come first" sounds great and would probably be my choice by the words alone. But the family values behind this are set up to be broken in my opinion. Set up for divorce, set up for separating the kid(s), etc. This due to neglecting the head of the family. Sure, kids "needs" are met, but what about life with their parents? Don't the kids need parents which help each other out and keep each other tip top so they can be taken care of the best as possible?

DHS can take away kids and give them their "needs". But these are all material things we talk about. What about the emotional connection with mom and dad?

If your a single mother, of course your kids come first. Your dating someone and yada yada. I can understand that. Some hott stud enters your life and is not really part of the family. You have raised the kids, they have a father, etc. That is our society today.

When you marry someone, you are giving your life to them, and becoming one. You loved and cared for each other before kids. You together are rowing the same boat now, if there is a kid in the boat, you both need to look out for each other first so the boat doesn't sink . If one fails to look out for each other and focuses on the kid only first, and looses focus on other parts of the family, then the boat is not balanced, and will sink. The kids needs are still met. I think this is where marriages get messed up and become separatist. I think marriages should be unified. This is not by "kids come first".

I really hate that term because it makes me feel like a jack az having an opinion against it.

The whole point of marriage is to take care of each other and your kids so they grow up with good values. I think thats the whole point of the other argument. If one person is about "kids come first" and neglecting the wife or husband than it creates separation in the family. This seems to be set up for failure at some point.


Kids are more likely to fail in a broken home (parents separated). The kids "needs" are met in one way but in another they are not emotionally met. I think loving each other and holding each other in the highest regard is putting the kids needs first naturally.

Thanks for reading my rant. I'm not very good at explaining my opinions so please forgive me. I'm trying to put out some other views to discuss. There are may different scenarios which justifies both sides.


Sincerely,

Nate-
 Ant0ni00
Joined: 9/2/2012
Msg: 243
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:11:24 AM

rockhound82


Well written, better explained.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 244
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 3/8/2013 10:43:36 AM
If I was told that, I'd say "That's fine. In my world, my cat comes first-ahead of you and your kids."
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 245
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 3/8/2013 12:19:56 PM
It just means she is a good mom.
If that bothers a guy,
he should date another.

Either a single woman.
Or a bad mom.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 246
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 3/8/2013 12:25:02 PM
Number one potty party no one relly cares about ur financial situation when I comes to dating number one guy def does no want or on the top of kids also have financial responsibility for UR kids and number two with thinking like that no wonder u single
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 247
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 3/8/2013 12:30:38 PM
Fine in that case my dog comes first I'm going spend time with him spend money on him n then call u n cancel bc he took so much out of me. N her be does come fore ur kids lol
 Marty_Mann
Joined: 11/19/2012
Msg: 248
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 3/8/2013 12:43:40 PM
Well most men are not looking for a ready made family to help a woman pay the bills. He better be number one. Any woman like this on POF are all the same. They want a .daddy who will pay them all attention while he receives little in return. What kind of investment is that? You have to be honest with yourself. And have time to spend with your new love. Maybe that's why your e left you cause you had littel time for him. also your not telling the whole story
 Ravynmoon
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 249
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What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 3/9/2013 12:46:51 AM
^^^ Agree with what Marty said...As a mum of two beautiful children, if i were to say that to you it is because...I do not have a great deal of free time to date, and perhaps sometimes if my kids get a sniffle I may have to cancel a date or two...I will never tolerate anyone that does not treat me or my children well either so in that respect my kids come first as well...
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 250
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What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 3/9/2013 1:19:56 AM

What does "my children come first" mean to you?


Not gonna happen,ever. Next profile.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What does "my children come first" mean to you?