Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 bonniebrownap
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 98
view profile
History
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting youPage 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
How do you tell a person it is too soon to move in? IN PLAIN ENGLISH.
 tooltimetim
Joined: 9/17/2006
Msg: 99
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 11/16/2006 5:48:59 PM
I think he needs a place to stay and a good meal and maybe your DVD player will go missing
 cuteazabutton
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 103
view profile
History
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 11/21/2006 6:53:03 PM

how do i tell him no i think its to soon i dont think im ready to move in with anyone i just got out of 14 year relatioship and have never been single in my life


You say it exactly the way u just said it in this quote that you made!!!!! Its obvious that youre a smart woman and most of the posters are being a little harsh on you but i think they are just looking out for your best interest so dont take it to heart. I believe in love at first sight or first talk as we put it on here but when it comes to a serious relationship with someone the first thing that comes to mind is "MY SONS". Not sure where this guy is from but u need to look into a bit more info on him before even thinking of dating him again too. Good Luck with your decision, we all hope u make the right one!!!!
 asp_industries
Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 109
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 12/14/2006 6:41:13 PM
um who does this?
 imyourgarden
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 110
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 12/14/2006 6:49:57 PM
Honey if you have not run by now you have your push from many ppl on here... RUN and don't look back there are plenty of fish in the sea why settle on the bottom feeders...
 bratalyn
Joined: 9/16/2006
Msg: 119
view profile
History
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:19:35 PM
He is homeless and looking for you to take care of him. Even if he has an apartment, he only got it to pass time in between girlfriends (care givers) . He'll quickly break his lease to live with you, he grabs a few belongings and off he goes to play house with you. From there he will mess with your mind while you pay his bills and feed him, wash his laundry (and be sure to fold his socks just so) He'll tell you how he does everything for you while he lays comfortably on your sofa.

He'll act like a deviant teenager rebelling against his mommy. He'll cheat on you and spend your money.

Ahhh the joys of the one's who want to move in after 5 minutes of meeting.
 fancynan60
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 120
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:36:01 PM
I know a girl that fell in love got married in 6 mos...2 years later she was $20,ooo in debt ( he had no credit) all in her name,(his name Ken) got divorced, devasted,and emotionally a wreck! He is now on to his next victom. Learn from this!!!!!!!!!! She will never trust again!!!!!
 Tarika
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 124
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 1/28/2007 9:06:11 PM
I'd run and fast!!!
 grasshopperme
Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 129
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 2/1/2007 6:07:49 AM
If a guy says that he loves u and wants to move in right off the bat. thats a red flag and is quiet scary and is a turn off i think. I think that there rushing things and u should definitly say no. i had a an ex try that with me and i just kept putting it off. it made me feel like he was trying to trap me i dident understand how he knew he loved me the first day that he met me, it was almost like he just wanted to settle for anything that to him searching for the right girl would take to long. definitly do not let someone move in right off the bat and if the bring it up just look for warning signs of a real loser!!!
 Butchersdaughter
Joined: 5/16/2005
Msg: 132
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 2/1/2007 7:59:29 PM
He's broke and homeless. Either has no job or wanting someone to support him so he can quite working. He most likely is younger than you and has lived with older women before. He could even be living with one now and knows he is about to get kicked out. Run and run fast. He is using you and will leave you with nothing including your self esteam. Remember, no real man truely falls that fast no matter who you are.
 aliven28
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 143
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:01:13 PM
Sounds like he could turn into the hemmoroid that just whont go away stuck on ur behind at all times! Proceed with caution!
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 146
view profile
History
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:23:19 PM
If you let this guy move in, you are going to miss out on Dating, the courting, going out, being taken to cool events and getting to know each other, it is going to go from a hand shake to you doing his laundry, cooking cleaning and shopping. You are not only short changing yourself, you are putting yourself at risk and your children. This guy might be a child molester and cant wait to rape your little ones.

Charm, looks, wit and all of the intelligence in the world can cover up a real criminal.

DONT BE STUPID tell him to get a grip tell him to ask you out on a date, then ask us if you should go, you could end up losing everything.

Besides the daing part is the fun part, once you move in together, all the romance fades and life can slip into a rut of work, TV, bills and errands with no time to go out somewhere nice.

Get to know someone first, dont settle, dont take the first invitation you get, have strength, dont settle... BIG RED FLAG, what is the big hurry? Does he have kids and need a baby sitter?

Take all of the advice you asked for and dont do it.
 tmbmx
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 148
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 2/11/2007 9:34:04 PM
Having been in this situation i can tell you what I did. I told her no I did not know her well enough. And cut thing off right there. the next day I called her and told her that I did not feel the connection she did not to call anymore. After the third time she called me I told if she kept it up i would get a restaining order. then she left me alone. Not a fun position to be in for any one. Good luck.
 baycitymom
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 164
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 2/24/2007 9:20:37 AM
I think you found yourself a user.......run away as fast as you can!
 Lennie625
Joined: 9/13/2004
Msg: 172
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:46:00 PM
I am a man, and have all the biological urges being a man. I have myself under control, and my urges come out only when I feel a real connection between my partner and me.

This leads to the question as to whether Internet dating poses more of a risk than real life meetings, and romanances. In real life, If you meet at a bar, many men are very humurous, and at times very philosphical-soeaking what appears to be words of wisdom. In the Internet, as in live interaction, you may meet a man who is very elequent with his words. Many can sweep a woman off with the "written word," but men that speak to women live and in person, can create false magic as well.

My advise is to be confident in yourself. Set the bar of trust high; if the man wants to be with you, he will understand. Look out for clock watchers-they may be married, or have a significant other. Make sure the prospect is self sufficient. You have survived without his help- prior to contact, so should he. Confidence and setting the boundaries sets the record straight. I met a nice woman from the Net. I knew we were not meant to be. This is where I think the "bar scene," and Internet differ. With the "Bar scene." you can bring your friends, tell a bouncer, and if necessary go to the bathroon and call the police on your cell phone. With Internet interactions, sometimes the setting and locations are different, and a woman can be more vulnerable. The thing which hurts is thaqt on ass like that, ruins it for many who are loving and good hearted. Guys it happens, be empathic to women.
 orchidtigress
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 173
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 4/19/2007 12:44:18 AM
Tell him you do not need a roomate and be sure not to give him a key!
 perfectlyhappy
Joined: 7/26/2011
Msg: 177
view profile
History
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 1/18/2013 3:00:05 PM
RUNNNNNNN...
I went on a date with one of my best friends of two years. We went to dinner and then he was helping me put in a new kitchen sink. We went to Home Depot to get some parts and I was having a key made for my roommate. He asked if I was having the key made for him. WTH! I could not believe it. I did not know what to say besides "I can't believe you just said that. "
I am going to tell him straight up that dating is completely out of the question for us. I am nervous even about maintaining the friendship at this point.
Thanks everyone for your ideas on this and for letting me remember that I should trust my instincts about everyone.
 Moon_Rocket
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 178
view profile
History
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 2/3/2013 5:31:52 PM

do you take this seriously or am i just emotionally closed off.


Hey imjustme I can't believe you seriously started up a thread asking this! No you are not 'just emotionally closed off',' you are naive to the max. No no just joking but hey, while I'm here, I have this very nice London bridge for sale no no second thoughts I'll give it to you free.....

you just gotta pay postage.
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 180
view profile
History
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 12/13/2013 4:25:04 PM
Ran as fast as you can, not towards him but away from him.
NO NO NO
Doesn't he have somewhere to live? Guess you would have to support him to. Is he a local? sounds like a scammer to me.
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 182
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 12/29/2013 8:06:50 AM
I have met women like that.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 183
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 1/4/2014 10:35:47 AM

Okay first off, this thread is older than dirt - so either the OP told the guy to take a hike or "she was never heard from again".
Yes indeedy, but I'll answer the question anyway.
"Are you shiatting me? Really?" ( As I stand/turn to leave, unclipping my keys from my jeans, adding, "Good luck with that".
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 184
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 1/11/2014 10:11:52 AM
hopefully the o.p is still out there somewhere..lol

I never had a guy want to move in on a first meet..

but I have had a few guys try an convince me to let them stay for the weekend an put them up..i wasn't aware I was running a travel agency an bed an breakfast but anyhow,,

1 guy who I found out was at the bus station an claiming he had been beaten an robbed an begged for me to let him come an stay for a few days first off huh?? why are you at the bus station an why if you have been beaten an robbed why are you online right now trying to meet women,,isn't that an issue for you to contact family friends an the police..

he gave a half assed spill about traveling from the city an not having any friends or family anymore I don't know but his story was full of holes an as the day went on he became angry that I stopped speaking with him an wouldn't give him a chance the messages kept coming for a few days..

2 guy wanted to take a gray hound from I think it was Alabama or Arkansas I forget 1 of the 2 but he wanted to bring his things an stay for the weekend I was like ummm no an why an who invited you..

guy 3 wanted to come over an stay an buy groceries so I could cook for him..uhhh I don't cook for strangers..an why cant we go out to eat instead his story he did not know how to cook or do laundry an needed a woman to take care of him an did not want to spend money to go out when I could do it...oh really? an you have all this planned after knowing me for a whole 2 hours..wow that's amazing...
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 185
view profile
History
what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you
Posted: 1/11/2014 5:30:21 PM
How do you not know this answer?
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >