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 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 87
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When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.Page 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Great point wild heart!!! BOTH of them, lol

The OP's point of fatigue in the relationship first showing itself via intolerance of small matters is accurate IMO. The first thing to go in a relationship is our willingness to cut each other slack and flexibility in making small adjustments and compromises.

My fellow and I have no issue with toilet seats, however, I do notice potential incompatibility around how the T.P. is hung. He, being a bottom roller and I, a top roller. To acknowledge the time honoured tradition of coupledom bathroom wars, I began a subversive campaign of changing the T.P. around to hang the "right" way whenever I was at his place. Although he has commented a few times at my *giggling* in the bathroom he did not say one word about my territorial infringement on his toilet paper roll. This, naturally, frustrated me to no end and I was stymied by his stubbornness at not acknowledging my shenanigans. One day it dawned on me that perhaps, rather than showing superior and admirable restraint, it was that he HADN'T noticed. The more I pondered that possibility, the more likely it seemed. This is, of course, my feeble justification for why I blinked first and broke rank by ASKING him if he had noticed. Dayum, I hate it when I do that... now the joke's on me.
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 89
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When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:35:15 PM
It's not necessarily a big deal to you, if you leave the seat up or down, but to a woman, its a respect thing. And to a person who is compulsively organized, its a whole different matter entirely.

If I go to a guys' house, a repair shop, or a place that is predominantly male oriented, after I lower the seat, do my business, I then put the seat to the position I found it in, which is usually up.

If your thinking says "if I have to lift and lower, she can too", then that shows a HUGE lack of respect. I can see maybe forgetting once in a while, but deliberately doing something like that is just a huge display of immaturity.

If that was the way you would have treated me, then I wouldn't have stuck around another 2 years. I would have bolted and found someone who was more mature and respectful.

Perhaps if you are that adamant about leaving the seat up, you should add a urinal to your next house...

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 supersnuggle
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 92
When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:13:40 PM
My wife complained once about me leaving the seat up, which I didn't usually do. I didn't say a word. I just started putting the lid down, too. I was hard for her to complain about that!
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 107
When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:00:07 PM
It should always be down, as it looks better and I get when my butt goes into the bowl in the middle of the night.
 jets_412
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 109
When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:02:56 PM
Maybe i should invent a seat that automatically goes down?
 dcamnc
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 114
When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:50:07 PM
Haha, when I look back on my relationships, I can point to a certain argument that was the beginning of the end. At the time I never realize it, but looking back I recognize exactly the point in which things turn. It's usually been when I've been very frank about a topic or stood my ground firmly about something. I think they then realize I'm not going to "go along with things". They usually mentally shut me out, or start holding back sex. Their whole demeanor changes. We might even stay in the relationship for months, but I can usually point to the incident in which things turn. Lately I've gone ahead and ended it when I notice a change.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 126
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When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:25:36 AM
for me, it was arguing about whether it was cold or hot in my first marriage. the marriage counselor told us to cut the desired temp midway, he was to take off his shirt and i was to wear a sweater. it worked for a few more years.

i wanted to totally punch my second ex, everytime i had to watch him brush his teeth at our sink which was right opposite the bed. that of course was an aftermath to many other real atrocities.

yes, it's a start. for certain things it's just a matter of undertanding and being willing to solve the problem. for starters , leave the light on so she does not fall in. i assume both of you do what you do unconsciously. the light gets you wake enough for both of you to think. probably she thought you were inconsiderate and maybe she thought that in other circumstances as well. if not and just this thing, so might have just been a cranky person who assumed she had the relationship under control.

again, if you care, you can talk things out, but not when you are angry or after just having fallen into the toilet bowl. these are roomate arguments and you need to communicate no matter who you are living with.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 135
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When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:57:44 AM
Do I need to chime in on this topic?
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Why? Do you fall in the toilet if the seat is down? This isn't a tit for tat issue. The consequences of sitting into toilet water are horrible for women.

The reason this thread is getting so much play is because the refusal (or neglect) to put the toilet seat down in the presence of women represents something much bigger - inconsideration, lack of empathy and understanding, stubborness and prob a few others. (I need a second cup of coffee).
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Grant me manhood, and a long standing habit of putting the seat up so I don't get PeaPea all over it. And I understand women like it put back down. And I got in a whole helluva lot of arguments WITH THE EX WIFE, because I said "I'll put it up and you can put it back down"....

However, when I am head over heels in love, I put the seat up and down. And I think she did likewise.

Its a completely symbolic gesture of your relationship, completely I feel.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 136
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When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:39:33 AM
aha! it seems everyone is assuming bad intention on the part of the other. however, most people are just too groggy in the middle of the nite to remember.

then there is the issue of "butt size". some of us do not fall in the toilet water as deeply as others. so, my guess is now that the more considerate men, who also need to use the toilet for "#2", probaby have smaller butts and therefore also do not want to fall in as well!!!

or better still, fall in together-- a cheaper alternative to an hot tub.

my G-d. if people do not get past this kind of thing, always assuming malcontent upon the other person, then this is how wars get started! and we expect our leaders to resolve international conflict while we are arguing about toilet seats.

ps of course, that assumes no underlying, more serious issues.
 Je-rry
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 139
When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:04:34 PM
To solve this problem for 30 days both man and woman after you finish put the seat down and also the lid down. You'll both get in the habit and when you go man lifts lid and seat, woman must lift lid. After 30 days it will be a habit and you'll do it every time. My wife died 3 years ago and I still lower both.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 146
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When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/9/2008 1:05:50 PM
Funny topic. My ex complained if I ever left the seat up, so I just started making sure of always putting it down, lid and all, then she complained about that; like I'm responsible for preparing the bowl for her use. In retrospect, that should have been a sure sign she expected me to take care of everything for her. I can understand women who have lived alone getting used to having it 'ready' for midnight toilet visits, but when you live with someone else, you have to stop taking some things for granted. For chrissake, just learn to work the freakin' lid and seat. After all, we have to; remember, we sit down sometimes to use it too.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 151
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When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:54:27 PM

As I have said before if all parties sat down it would solve the issue Where is it written that men need to stand to urinate?


No one ever said we 'have to' stand to urinate, any more than women 'have to' sit to urinate. We do what is most convenient. Men stand to urinate because we can. It's faster, more convenient; see: The lines to the bathrooms at the arenas, theaters and stadiums. I'm sure that women would take the more convenient option if available as well. You're just basically telling us that since you have to be inconvenienced, then despite it not being of any necessity, we have to as well, and that doesn't make any sense .
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 158
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When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/10/2008 1:54:16 PM

If dad's taught little boys that it was manly to sit on the toilet rather than stand ie. redefined manliness in this area there would be no issue.

Oh jeez, I can't believe I am asking this question. umm, isn't there a problem anatomically with guys sitting to pee? Wouldn't it involve some reaching (possibly inside the toilet) and potential directional or contact issues?

I'm not sure I even WANT to know the answer to the question. As far as I'm concerned people may have their personal preferences along with their privacy in the comfort of the throne room.

My momma never told me I would grow up to question the way men pee. LOL

*tip toes out of thread*
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 166
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When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 7/10/2008 3:47:15 PM
wee-wee envy?

*sigh*

I've always wanted to write my name in the snow.
 LESLIE 1943
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 173
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When she complained about the toilet seat, is it over ?.
Posted: 8/10/2008 4:07:29 PM
Another solution would be equal inconvenience. Leave the lid down. Women lift the lid and men lift both lid and seat. Both return it to its original position. This makes the bathroom look neater too.
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