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 marshlyn
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 51
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Why do men copy/paste Page 3 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
HEY JERRY,
Where are those "Tons of a lot more men" than woman?
they sure aren't in my area..
 Rettam
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 52
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 4:58:19 PM
That's an interesting question: how many men would respond to a cut and paste message from a woman they were attracted to?

- remember, cut and paste need not be done in a slopply manner. This can mean a very generic intial first contact with a few details peppered in for authenticity.

How many men here would respond if you were attracted to the profile anyway?
 A MUZEing..
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 53
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 11:15:04 PM
First, I apologize if this entry might go off on a bit of a tangent. I do receive many c/p emails.
More often than not, however, my situation has been that I'd read a message from a guy who may or may not have copy-pasted it BUT, when I see his profile (saying 'non-religious') he clearly didn't take the time to carefully read my profile, which says I'm Christian and that it's important to me to share a faith. Why, if he says 'non-religious', is he writing to me? I don't say I'm superior or 'holier than thou', it's just that I want to have that in common and not have tension in that area.. besides, it's so essential to who I am, I could never become emotionally intimate with him, let alone physically, if we can't encourage each other within a mutual deep belief in God.
I'm not preaching here. I'm trying to say please READ before sending me email in an effort to hook up with me, as it'll save you time and frustration... the answer is NO.
...............ESPECIALLY when it's cut/paste!

I'll respond to thank him & wish him well in his search because I don't want to date him, but the other item is that I'm here only for friendships (whether or not they have potential for more is beside the point).. and I get asked for sex. GO FIGURE.
.. one guy actually said in an IM chat that, since I'm Christian, he wouldn't use a condom because he assumed all Christians never use them. LOL. I thanked him, said I didn't want to waste his time, and said goodbye.
.......Block!!
 Rettam
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 54
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 11:44:24 PM
This is from waaaay back but, I appreciate the plug, bucsgirl

I think I may have tarnished my image by palying devil's advocate haha.

But concerning the previous post about religion - sometimes people put Christian or other religion simply because they that was their upbringing or culture. They don't always practice it.

The other thing is, lots of non-religious people have no problem getting into relationships with people that are religious adn vice versa. So don't be too surprised when you get messages from guys that are agnostic or atheist or simply non-religious.

Some people put weight on the issue, and other simply play by ear.
 A MUZEing..
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 55
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/22/2006 12:12:32 AM
greyymatter ~

The other thing is, lots of non-religious people have no problem getting into relationships with people that are religious adn vice versa.

Thanks for the input and viewpoint, and I can see how some might not regard it as an issue for themselves and would therefore not put that much weight into it for their prospects, but when my profile says I do put weight on it, that's when I don't understand their writing to me since it seems they don't really care.
 angeleyeso1
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 56
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/22/2006 12:24:07 AM
Sometimes i feel that guys who copy and paste are not only lazy but probably are or players trying to find as many women as they can cause they don't have to time to sit and write individual letters to each women to make it more personal and to show that they are genuinely interested in the lady or they may have another alterior motive if you know what i mean.getting as many notches on his bedpost as possible. i have had emails like this before and it is a real turn off and i agree with the women that if a man writes and just says love your pic or let's meet right off the bat is a red flag for women just as it would be for a man. if i get an email from a gentleman that writes a long email telling me about himself and what he liked about my profile instead of just my pic usually shows me this guy is possibly for real.
 IWontTellYou
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 57
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/22/2006 12:33:39 AM
I was watching "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" last week, and a line from that movie now occurs to me: (not perfectly quoted)"If you put out the 'vibe' to hundreds of women, of COURSE your going to get a response" "That's the whole idea".

Anyone who copy/pastes, isn't likely to meet the one person they jibe with, because that person is going to require a REAL response, not a form letter!
 eon001
Joined: 10/16/2006
Msg: 58
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/22/2006 2:18:11 AM
Where just going around in circles here.
The generic email is like an ice breaker for me, a "hello how you doing fancy a chat."
Imagine your in a club. Its the difference between, me giving you a simple greeting, and me buying a lady a bottle of champagne and telling her my life story. only for her to say "not interested, thanks for the champagne"
Surely theres at least ONE lady that can understand, not ONE lady can relate?

If I get a reply, I know that the lady is interested and I will take my time and care with my responses, I only send out emails to ladies with profiles I think match mine, It's not as random as women might think.
 Spagooch
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 59
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/22/2006 5:41:26 AM
Amen Brother... This site is sort of an electronic icebreaker. First impressions are everything. I think being genuine and a little original is the first step to showing a little respect to the person you are hoping to make a connection with. If a guy can't take the time to be original, he should switch to Hallmark.
 loneshoreman
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 60
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/26/2006 2:51:53 PM
Again, Amen! You don't have to write a lady a book but you should take a few minutes and say something original.
 Rettam
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 61
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/28/2006 4:55:34 PM
Eon001 - that's a very good example. Champagne, I luv it!

No, not a lot of women seem to understand because they don't really grasp what a sea of women there are out there - and they really don't realize is how many genuine thought- out messages it takes to be sent before some guys get responses.

They seem to believe that if you send out a few geniune messages you'll get a response soon enough.

The fact is lots of guys don't - and that's why they use teh copy and paste as an electronic ice breaker. Because noone wants to spend 100k at teh club before they get to dance with a girl, and noone wants to spend a decade on plentyoffish before they get a date.

And yes, some guys get more responses - sometimes no matter what they say. IT doesn't mean it applies to all of us.


--again, I don't cut and paste, but I don't get results either, so how genuine you letter is doesn't always result in a postive result. The women don't seem to grasp how much luck really is involved in being a guy. SOmetimes you can do everything you can and the fact is you simply aren't the type that gets responses
 BRIAN10
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 62
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 11/18/2006 12:45:24 PM
OMG...HELLO ..we are all on the " internet " and yes a dating site ...we don't have the same edge if we were to meet ..say in the pub ...so we have to do the best that we can to "ATTRACT" the opposite sex..right...and because of this that is why so many people tell the little white lies that are in there profile ..or don't post a photo ..or just a head shot...

So back to the question of C/P...what is the big deal!!!!!
I look at it this way ..I am trying to draw "Attract " your attention to me ..my profile..just like the 100s of other men that are trying to do the same thing..for most part ..if I write a thoughtful and inteligent message or a C/P message ..the idea is to attract your attention to my profile...just like the ladies that initiate the first message to me are doing ..I think cool , a lady sent me a message ..I read it and then go visit her profile...if I am interested then I will write a nice letter back and probably ask lots of questions...IF I AM NOT interested I always take the time to thank her for the message and suggest that we may not be a good match ...but thanks and hope you find what you are looking for ....

The ladies that really score big with me ..believe it or not are the ones that send me the same reply ..(not a good match)...I know that they think we are not a good match ...but I always smile because they took the time ..FIRST ..to read mine and 2Nd send a reply ..so I always answer there reply and thank them for being honest and curtious enough to reply..and I tell them that the lucky guy that they choose will have a very special lady in their lives... and a few I still talk to now

I sent a lady a message a while back and put her on my favorites because I am interested in talking and getting to know her ......she replied back.....thank you so much for the email and adding me to your favorites..and I am interested in talking and getting to know you also....etc.etc.etc. ..here was the funny part ...she then said well you live on the island , so that is a little ways away from Coquitlam........I laughed and replied nicely and with some humour and used her first name ...sorry but you must have confused me with some other guy or did not read my profile that well because I live in Chilliwack..the mainland like you ..never heard from her again .. hey that is the internet ....the ladies that unread/ delete...not my type I guess and would not have known this unless I sent them that message ...

To sum it up here ...the intial message... does not matter who starts this messaging ....it is to attract us to the person that sent and see if we are interested in talking and getting to know each other..( not a request for a date..or get married..or bed..or become boy friend/ girlfiend etc. ) it is just a message to hopefully get you to read about me/ you and see if we are interested in talking and getting to know each other..I use the favourites also this way ..hoping that you will check me out and of course like what you have seen and read ..that's it ..simple .....other sites have smiles , winks, etc. to attract each other..another real important aspect to this internet dating is ..."TIMING" a lot of people that were not interested in me ....the first message....(timing thing ..could have been connecting with someone ) and a month down the road will reply ..why ??? because of the TIMING...they have moved on maybe and are searching again...the connection (s) did not work out ..my 2 cents ...
 sandtownlady
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 63
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 11/18/2006 12:49:09 PM
The "copy and paste" thing just may the guys' way of using the "more bait, the better" approach. Maybe, if he gets a bite, then he gets creative?

But, why is it that regardless of the subject of the thread, the posts become a bashfest between the sexes?
 micheleluvmoon
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 64
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 11/18/2006 1:13:43 PM
I have to say, that someone did that to me this week. Same message twice and I was totally put off by it. I like it when a message is personalized and unique.
 Blucaso
Joined: 10/24/2006
Msg: 65
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 11/18/2006 1:18:27 PM
Well, here are a couple of (I hope) different thoughts and responses.

First, to DarkTranquility, who wrote:
i'd rather the girls message me after reading what i'm about. And I do think it's about time men start adopting this approach and letting the girls message them, allowing the balance to SHIFT. Because even if you're GOOD at getting responses, you are still working way too hard.


Seriously, I think you need to re-read that. Do you realize how that sounds? I think what you are trying to say in reality is "I'd rather take the more passive approach, because I fear rejection."

But what you wrote basically says "Let the chick do the damn work, I'm sick of it." Not very appealing.

Also, unless you happen to be amongst the most attractive men on the site, not likely to attract a lot of attention. As Greyymatter and others have pointed out, the odds are stacked against the men in two ways:

1) Men are under the social expectation to "make the first move". This certainly isn't always true, but it's pretty common.

2) There are roughly (by my estimation) twice as many men here as women. How do I estimate this? Simple. Do a simple search in your city with your zip code. Narrow it to 25 miles radius. Pick an age range of 10 years. I did ages 29-39. Do a Male searching for Female search. I got 279 women.

Now reverse the search, same stats, but Female searching for Male. I got 600+ results.

Ok, end of math section. :D

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Here's another scenario verging on the old "lies, damned lies, and statistics"...

Let's imagine there are 150 people in a room, 100 men, and 50 women. They are all at keyboards and can message each other. A bunch of the men are looking at the profiles, trying to pick out the ones that look special to them, write individual notes that are carefully crafted. They spend an average of 15 minutes per message. Let's this accounts for 85 of the guys. The other 15 guys quickly work up a little opening message, and send it out.

Now let's say of the 85 guys taking their time, only 60 of them even find a girl or two that they are interested in. And on the AVERAGE, let's say these 60 send out 1.5 messages each.

That's 90 total messages for the 85 "thoughtful" guys.

Now let's say the other 15 guys are evenly split between "spammers" and "selectors". So some maybe 7 of them are sending the same exact message to every girl in the room. We'll call these messages "SPAM". The other 8 are sending out similar (slightly edited perhaps) messages to about 20 girls. We'll call these "Semi-Spam", but to many girls they may look just like SPAM.

Now let's look at the average girl's inbox, shall we?

Average contents:

SPAM
Semi-SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
Semi-SPAM
thoughtful email
SPAM
SPAM
Semi-Spam
SPAM
SPAM

And there you have it. Are most guys SPAMming, using a big trawling net? No, only 7% are in this example.

But the actions of the 7 "SPAM" guys, and the 8 "Copy-paste" guys make sure that the girls see a box that looks to be 90% Spam.

So, how long would you need to see a 90% spam message rate before you started not even looking at messages. You'd probably start deleting them, too.

Just a different perspective. I am not advocating right or wrong here. Just saying that the most common actions of the few on this site will reflect as though they are the majority. It's all in the eyes of the individual.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Another, unrelated thought (as I try for the world record longest post... :D) - in my brief experience so far, there is another problem that is invisible to the message sender.

The REASON for a read/not replied to or read/deleted message.

I thought there would never be a reason to get a message and not reply, when I first started. But I soon got a message (first contact) from someone who just simply was not interesting to me. And I realized that there was no polite way to say this that I could think of.

But for me, I just went through a breakup early this year. One issue was that I wanted kids, she decided she didn't. One area that is particularly difficult for me is the "kids" issue. And while I have nothing against nice women who have kids but are looking for companionship - it simply is not what I want at this time. A person with a child / children and a separated father has a whole set of concerns and responsibilities that are at best outside my realm of experience, and at worst imcompatible with my future concerns.

Now, I could simply ignore this at the outset, and not put such weight on something that wouldn't matter in a casual dating circumstance. But then what happens if there IS a spark? What if...

So while I am not reading a profile looking for the "perfect" woman (far from it, I am very open-minded in general) - why even start talking to someone when you believe there is a "deal-breaker" on the list? And I can hear people saying "well, you could be great friends with someone" - but most of us aren't here for "friendship" as the PRIMARY outcome. This is a DATING site, first and foremost, right?

So long story to say I didn't respond to the message, because how can I say what I've just written here, without unintentionally making the person feel BAD - that she's being rejected because of being a single Mom? When it's not about her child, it's about my personal situation and mental processes.

So in short, guys (and girls) - don't worry about WHY someone didn't respond. It probably has less to do with them rejecting YOU (they don't KNOW you, anyway, they just have a little tiny electronic facsimile of your profile) and more with what's going on in their world at that moment.

Whew... sorry about the length of that. It's hard to explain sometimes without a lot of detail.
 Blucaso
Joined: 10/24/2006
Msg: 66
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 11/18/2006 1:47:41 PM
Prophet, were you planning on personally replying to every single message on this thread?
 elke hess
Joined: 10/8/2006
Msg: 67
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 11/18/2006 2:25:06 PM
answer#1THE SIMPLE ANSWER IS ,AS A TRANSEXUAL ESCORT I CAN TELL YOU, THAT MEN ARE LAZY.THEY WILL NOT DRIVE EVEN TWENTY MINUTES TO GET LAID.ONE HAS TO BE PRACTICALLY NEXT DOOR OR SITTING AT THE VERY NEXT TABLE IN A BAR TO GET A RESPONSE.UNFORTUNATELY,ON THIS CONTINENT,THE MAJORITY OF MEN ARE WORKER BEES,MINIMALLY EDUCATED AND UNSOPHISTICATED AS IT WOULD BE ECONOMICALLY DISADVANTAGEOUS TO HAVE THEM NOT BE SO.VERY FEW ARE THE ALPHA MALE.SO THEY CUT AND PASTE AND MASS MARKET AS THE HAVE LEARNED FROM MADISON AVENUE.HORMONALLY MEN ARE DIFFERENT FROM WOMEN AND AS BOTH I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE DIFFERENCE.HORMONES CAN CHANGE YOUR WORLD VISION AND ITS A LOT MORE IMPINGING THAN MEN ARE FROM MARS WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS.I INVITE WOMEN TO TAKE SOME TESTOSTERONE SHOTS AND GET SOME REALITY ON WHAT A HORMONE CAN DO TO YOUR PERCEPTIONS OF YOU.MEN LIVE IN A HELL OF HORNYNESS WHICH WILL NOT GO AWAY NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.IT DISTROYS YOUR ABILITY TO GET ANYTHING DONE BECAUSE THE PRESSURE JUST KEEPS ON GETTING WORSE AND OCCUPYING YOUR MIND AND I MEAN LIKE THE GERMANS OCCUPYING PARIS.

answer#2ANTHROPOLOGICALLY,IN OUR PAST, WITHIN A SAVAGE OR NOMADIC SOCIAL STRUCTURE,MEN COULD NOT BE SURE OF WHAT CHILDREN WERE THEIRS.ONLY WOMEN KNEW THE CHILDREN WERE THEIR OWN BY BIRTHING THEM.THIS CREATES A SURVIVAL SITUATION FOR THE MALE GENES ONLY IF HE SPREADS HIS SEED AROUND ALL OVER THE PLACE AND HOPES OFFSPRING ARE BORN SOMWHERE SOMETIME.WE NOW CALL THIS "SOWING HIS WILD OATS."THIS IS WHAT WOMEN IN THE WORLD ARE RUNNING INTO WHEN HE DOES NOT CALL YOU BACK.A MAN DOE'S NOT KNOW IF THERE IS A ROMANTIC OR SOUL CONNECTION UNTILL AFTER HE CLIMAXES.THE FIRST KISS AFTER THAT HE WILL KNOW,AND LADIES IF YOU THINK THAT IT IS NOT A SOUL CRUSHING MOMENT FOR A MALE WHEN HE KNOWS THERE IS NO "LOVE CONNECTION"YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN.THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS MEN LEAVE IN A FLASH WITH NO EXPLANATION MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE YOUVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.YOU HAVEN'T,HE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH HIS LOSS(OF YOU)ALONE BECAUSE THIS HAS HAPPENED MORE OFTEN THAN HE WOULD LIKE TO OR BE ABLE TO CONFRONT.
THIS BEING I CALL "RUN AROUND GUY" NOW ANY RUN AROUND GUY CAN BE TURNED INTO "RELATIONSHIP GUY" AND MEN ARE WILLING TO DO THIS(SUPRISE)!
THE WILD CARD HERE IS WOMEN WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN BY THE ALPHA MALE(OF COURSE)A HIGH QUALITY SURVIVAL MOVE BUT HE "AINT STICKIN AROUND"BECAUSE HIS SERVICES ARE WANTED ALL OVER THE PLACE.NOW SHE NEEDS RELATIONSHIP GUY TO TAKE CARE OF HER CHILDREN AS THEY GROW UP.RELATIONSHIP GUY DOES NOT WANT TO DO THIS(OF COURSE) SO ACROSS A TIME PERIOD MEASURED IN MANY MANY MANY THOUSANDS OF YEARS,HISTORICALLY,WE HAVE THE DEVELLOPMENT OF MARRIAGE AND THE ENSLAVEMENT OF WOMEN AS ECONOMIC UNITS OF INCREDIBLE VALUE LEADING UP TO THE CLASH WE HAVE TODAY BETWEE OUR BARBARIC PAST AND THE "AGE OF INFORMATION"ELKE HESS ADVICE FOR THE LOVELORN"
 JoePAMN
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 68
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 11/18/2006 5:30:47 PM
I feel like I should be at a meeting..."Hi, my name is Joe and I copy & paste..."

But seriously, while I do sometimes use a message "template", I have never copied and pasted an entire email, word for word, to someone. I do usually have a basic email with facts about myself (which as one post here stated, don't change) that I use as a starting point. I always mention something specific when talking about why I wrote to that particular woman, whether its her picture, or more often, something she wrote in her profile or a post that was thought provoking and caught my attention.

It has been my experience that taking the time to write a longer and more personal message is best saved for a second message, once a woman I've written to has expressed her interest in getting better acquainted. If she takes the time to get to know me, she will know exactly what it is about her that I think makes her special as well as what makes me unique. I'm not someone who emails lots of women on a regular basis, but it can be frustrating to take the time out of a busy schedule to write to a woman only to see the old read/delete deal. I used to let that bother me, but I don't sweat it anymore; if someone can't find the time or interest to get back to me, for whatever their reason, thats outside the area of something I have control over. In the meantime, online dating IS a numbers game, but in the long run, the only number that matters to me is one, as in the one woman I want to find. Until that day comes, I'll contact people in the way that best suits me and she can gauge her interest from there.
 Victor E.
Joined: 8/7/2005
Msg: 69
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 11/19/2006 11:15:39 AM
they copy and paste because, now matter how original they think they are, it's all been said b4.
 Thattallguy
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 70
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 11/19/2006 12:33:57 PM

what about the guys that copy and paste exactly wahts in their profile into an email and send it to you(?)


Thats just lazy...but I like his method! lol



 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 71
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 11/19/2006 12:47:43 PM
I am turned off totally when a man does the copy and paste thing. I have a descriptive, unique profile ( I think), and if a man actually reads it and sends an email about something that I have mentioned in my profile I am assuming he might be interested in getting to know me. But then, if men send so many email to women maybe not since I am just merely one woman in a thousand. Maybe most women on POF get 30 email a day, not me, I might receive one every few months.
 jamesntn47
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 72
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 1/19/2007 9:15:09 PM
WELL TO COPY IN PAST SHOWS THAT U ARE JUsT GOIN THREW A LONG LIST FINDING SEVERAl u and dropping them a line me for one i hated forewarded email and copy and paste because that is not personel at all just as soon run an add inpaper ,u got to take time to at least write 5 or 6 words of ya own different for everyone because every one is different if we werent we all be borin and it wouldnt matter who ya got hooked up with because they would all be the same , me i want someone different not just another cute face
 keystoneskiman
Joined: 7/28/2005
Msg: 73
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 1/20/2007 8:16:53 AM
Sending the same copied/pasted email to several people will never get a response and I don't know whey anyone does this.

I admit I have 'partially' copied/pasted. By that I mean each email was edited to fit each profile. I make certain that I respond to a thing or two in particular that I see in the profile so she knows I acutally have read it.

Just recently I came accross a profile that intrigued me so much I immediately TYPED out a well thought out email to her reflecting some of the things we had in common. And I got a response! We exchanged a few great emails but then, like many other women, she took the cowardly way out and ignored me.

I've typed out a couple of emails just like the above only to recieve a one or two sentence reply. Such as "Thanks for the email. I'm 38 and live in Hooterville" or something like that. Now that, in my opinion, is more insulting than not replying at all. Why do some women do that? If a man's email interests you let him know by reciprocating. If it doesn't interest you don't reply.

There are also women (yes women do it too) who are playing with 4 or 5 guys at once. Keeping them all on the line til they decide which one to meet.

Just a few reasons for the copy and paste method. For some men it's come to the point where they think why put in all that effort for just one email?
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 74
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 9/20/2007 5:28:48 PM
I hate copied and pasted messages. I have actually written back to the goobers who do this and told them that what they were doing was idiotic. I much prefer someone to send a personal note that is unique, and shows that the man has read my profile. I like a comment about a forum post or something in my profile that the man liked. It is also an insult to the receiver's intelligence . It also shows me that the person does not have enough interest in me personally to bother writing an original message to me directly. I don't understand why anyone would be so dumb as to mass email messages.

It is a turnoff to get such an impersonal message. In fact, I would like to see POF make it impossible for anyone to send the same, multiple message to people because let's face it, it is just another form of spam. <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>

I do feel that a couple of original sentences is a nice way to break the ice, and a better way to attract someone than an obvious paste and copy. A short, original note is much better. Guys, PLEASE be original!!
 BinaryStar
Joined: 8/20/2007
Msg: 75
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 9/20/2007 6:20:20 PM
Have to laugh at this post as it just happened to me minutes ago. In late August I recieved a message from a guy and after a few e-mails back and forth I never heard from him again. Then just minutes ago I recieved a message from him identical to the one I recieved in August! Word for word. My intitial reaction was to respond and after a moments thought decided to save my breath. Just shaking my head.
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