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 Bubbly and Fun
Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 16
Read/DeletedPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Tinkerbella, I know that "Shrek type trucker," personally and he is a perfect gentleman and NOT looking for an affair. He is one of the sweetest guys you ever want to meet and he is in a commited relationship. He doesn't want to get into anyones pants , he is just looking for friends to share coffee with when away from home.

He is also a great source of strength to me when I needed a friend the most . when my boyfriend dumped me because he thought I had breast cancer. That Shrek type man gave me encouragement and the best advice in the world to including coming back on POF.

It is not nice to judge a person because of their self description or what you think their intent is.
So many of us make assumptions of people because we don't take the time to get to really know someone.
 Bored_One
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 17
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History
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/10/2006 11:36:20 PM
Thank you Bubbly... and i am so glad i could be of help to you. Hope you are getting ahead of the Christmas game. Rose has all her shopping done and wrapped but i have just scratched the surface on mine.

Merry Christmas to you and yours from Rose and i.
 Bubbly and Fun
Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 18
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/12/2006 4:04:17 PM
Thanks Bryan, I am happy you and Rose are ahead of the game. You Know, I really appreciate you very much and being there when I was scared out of my wits and I really don't know what I would do without you as a friend. I am falling a little behind on Christmas ...lol...burning candles at both ends....but you are still in my heart and Hopefully we'll get together soon.
Wishing you and Rose the merriest and Happiest Christmas ever and the New Year the best ever to date.

Love and hugs and kisses.

Ruth
 freddygirl
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 19
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History
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/13/2006 9:04:54 AM
Personally, I hate it. But personally I've always been one to wonder what motivations are behind why someone chooses not to speak to me. It could be something as silly and simple as my normal one liner "hello" email failed to impress them (I'm SO bad at initiating emails) or they don't like the colour of my hair. It could be nothing about me..but I think the mind wanders to those places regardless.

I hate checkng my sent mail cause it feels gross to see read/delete or unread/delete. But I respect everyone elses opinions. You just can't help how you feel, though.
 freddybeach27
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 20
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/13/2006 11:54:07 AM
Well put Fauz,
Best answer yet, and in so few words too.... lol
 The_Champ_Is_Here
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 21
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/13/2006 8:14:30 PM
Ya when a woman reads your message and deletes it not replying it says most times "You do not look good enough" or "You are ugly so beat it not interested"

Funny how I never send a perverted message and yet it gets read/deleted 90% of the time. Instead of telling a guy why she is not interested in talking to him, I mean if you take the time to read the message why not reply? I know no answer is the best reply. Hint hint
 JMTJ
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 22
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/14/2006 9:00:28 AM
There are likely a great number of people out there using this and other dating sites for a very good reason, that the "electronic barrier" in place, protects them and gives them the most likely avenue to meet someone. As thru other avenues, clubs, social events or other situations, etc... they may not appear approachable or have an adversity to approaching someone else for fear of rejection. For myself, if someone is making a polite attempt to reach out in here, regardless of whether I'm interested or not, an email thanking them and informing them that your not interested for one reason or another is the human thing to do.
 Neysha61
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 23
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History
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/14/2006 12:14:03 PM
Well for goodness sakes boys, if I read it and delete it without a reply, just count your lucky stars, would ya ? Many I do reply to I get BLOCKED when I try to write back again ... WTF???? That is rich!
 Marleb
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 24
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/14/2006 3:09:04 PM
"Ok, picture this. A guy sees a woman, wants to meet her. He walks over to her and says "Hi." She turns and walks away without a word. Sure it's efficient, and gets her point across, but it would be ludicrous to claim that it isn't rude."

I have to admit that I didn't see it that way before, but you are right Mr.Mxyzptlk. It is rude. It does happen in the "real" world, though, so why wouldn't it happen here. There is not a whole lot of difference between meeting someone in here or meeting them out there. People might have more courage contacting someone here because they can hide behind the computer screen. In here they say "delete", out there they say "no". To be honest, I have never asked someone for a date outside of POF. I wouldn't have the courage. lol.
 Marleb
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 25
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:10:47 PM
@Mr. Mxyzptlk
I said I agreed with you about it being rude. I don't know about women, but I know at least one man who went up to a woman and she looked at him as if he was a piece of sh...t, stuck her nose in the air and walked away. So, if it happened to one man, it must happen to others. Maybe they should have a "delete,thank you" button. lol. I've heard women say "no" when someone asked them to dance. They could have said "no, thank you".
 The_Champ_Is_Here
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 26
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:56:14 PM
many times I have been snubbed approaching women. Many times I did it just to show those who would say I dare you to go talk to her. And many times I did it just to entertain those who would be saying "She keeps looking over you should just go over there and talk to her" Meanwhile she was not even looking at me.
Many times women would say "I think your friend over there is hot, introduce me" So I would. I don't know ho amny times I set my friends up at bars by breaking the ice for them because they didn't have enough courage to approach them.
Now you would think on here women would not be so rude. Especially when you send a message not being rude and the ultimate reason why she read deleted or undread/deleted is because she didn't think you were good looking.
That would be the number one reason.
 Marleb
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 27
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:40:00 PM
@The Champ Is Here

I don't know if you could say the reason that they read/deleted or unread/deleted was because they didn't think you were good looking. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with your picture. I can't say anything about the read/deleted but they wouldn't see your picture with unread/deleted, would they? So, it may just come down to they're just being rude. I have to read my e-mails because I'm too curious to see who they are and what they have to say. I got to get a life. lol

You seem like the male counterpart of me when I was younger. My friends wanted to meet a guy but they were too shy, so I would talk to him and then introduce them. They always had boyfriends and I had just boy friends. lol. That's the story of my life. When I got older, guys would come up and talk to me. A girl friend would be interested in him, and I would just back off. Gee, I wonder why I'm alone now,DUH, and one of the girls and the one of the guys are married,just not to each other. lol.
 heckcat
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 28
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/14/2006 6:43:18 PM
My personal opinion is that I'd rather someone delete my message and not reply to me so I could not bother wasting my time. It would strongly indicate to me that they had qualities that I was not interested in at all.

However, the bottom line is that regardless of how you view it, rude or efficient, acceptable or unnecessary, those who are read/deleting-without-replying or unread/deleting-without-replying aren't going to change. Nor are the opinions of the people who don't do it going to change about it, regardless of the reasons given.
 Bored_One
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 29
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Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/15/2006 2:24:30 PM
Ahhhh, the Senate, also known as the Witless Protection Program.

Mr. Mxyzptlk, you seem to have been raised in a household where manners were taught. I agree with you that the Read/Deleted is akin to walking away. I have encountered a few of those in real life but not as often as the Read/Deleted thing. The anonymity of the computer world allows people to be rude without repercussion and these days, manners seem to be flying out the window.

As for not responding because of someone's look or profile, well, i met my significant other online and neither my picture nor my profile really held anything that she was looking for but out of politeness and curiosity, she chatted with me. Well, we hit it off and for the past six years, have had an amazing relationship. This relationship is still going strong and the trust and devotion continues to build.

i am a trucker living in Ontario. I travel to Dieppe every week, spend a day or two here, then return home. My desire on here is to meet a few friends who i can have coffee and chat with to pass the time while waiting for a load. How many of you have been in a situation where you know absolutely nobody? There is only so much time you can spend wandering around the mall or watching TV. Sure makes the time drag. I clearly state in my profile that i am not looking for a relationship, just a friend for a coffee and chat.

I try to be very polite when initiating contact with someone but this doesn't always work. I came upon one profile that was interesting and amusing although a little negative so i sent the lady an e-mail complimenting her on her profile. She promptly replies, cussing me out in no uncertain terms for being a cheater and that i was a low-life, etc. She then proceeded to inform me that i was being blocked....LOL... with encouragement like that, she need not have worried about further contact. But i do have to say, the "Lady" did respond and make her position perfectly clear. Despite the cussing out, i did appreciate the fact that she took the time to answer.

bryan
 littled12
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 30
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/15/2006 2:32:37 PM
u hit it right on the head fauz
 freddybeach27
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 31
Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/15/2006 2:40:05 PM
It is polite to reply to someone who puts effort into their messages. I have seen a few times, messages that simply say "U R HOT". To me that is the least amount of effort someone can put into a message, infact they couldnt be bothered to spell out the entire words. Does this deserve a response?

Should I spend a few minutes thanking them for their email and explaining that unfortunately they lack the social skills I require in a mate? Most would agree, probably not, as its similar to a guy coming up to a woman and being very abrupt and distasteful. At that point she would be encouraged to simply walk away.

So I guess in sumation, it is up to each individual to make that call. But certainly not every email is going to get a response from me.
 Neysha61
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 32
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Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/17/2006 9:53:31 AM
One of the many difference between the NET and Real Life is that here you can list your interestes and if you drink, smoke, what you like to do or not do etc. As do fake pictures or no pictures or old pictures and so on and so forth.
Snap judgements run rampant.
In real life it takes quite awhile to really get to know a person. And the older I get, personally, the less I really want to know!


If any of you have taken the time to peruse my profile one of my interests listed is seeing how many people I can to BLOCK me in one day!

And the real matter of the fact is that I have a rather unique sense of humor, and most don't get it ... so like I say in my profile don't be offended, be off with ye!
 Dj Asid Rayne
Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 33
Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/1/2007 1:16:57 AM
You know I do somethind quick and easy. I have a windows note pad open with a couple of quick responses handy that I can copy and paste. Like " Thank for your interest I'd love to chat" or something like that. I don't get an overwhelming amout of emails but I can see where some of the super attractive people might. In that situation it would get a little overwhelming to respond to everyone. So try the note pad copy and paste trick. Atleast your being polite and still not wasting your time.
Just an idea that works for me.
I think it's really important to respond to everyone because lets face it some of us get enough rejection in the real world.
Best of luck to everyone and happy fishing.
 flylonelyangel
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 34
Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/1/2007 6:56:52 AM
yeah i see that sometimes too! oh well i say.
 Mike324
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 35
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History
Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/20/2009 2:47:07 PM
Should I spend a few minutes thanking them for their email and explaining that unfortunately they lack the social skills I require in a mate?


Nah. Just create a template saying that and copy and paste it to many people who initiate contact with 3-5 words. They spent all of 3 seconds sending you that email so you shall do the same. lol
 UndomesticGodess
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 36
Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/23/2009 7:52:48 AM
How about Read but NOT deleted...This has happened to me twice this week. Someone contacts ME, I write back then absolutely NOTHING. If someone has the courage to make first contact, why back off from being truthful after they apparantly change their mind. I don't think I will ever understand the workings of the male mind.
 WithxAbandon
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 37
Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/23/2009 8:56:43 AM
And they think WE'RE the complicated ones!
 cowgirl_loves_heels
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 38
Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/14/2009 7:36:16 AM
Read/Deleted is a big piss off to me cause than a week later you'll get an email back! it sould be read and reply. lol like come on
 shortanddark
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 39
Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/17/2009 12:50:51 PM
lmao...that is the most GODDAMN FUNNIEST THING I read today!!


Why would I want to get an email that says "Sorry, not interested", which means "Sorry, you ugly bast***, you is one ugly dog faced critter.


You made my day....although, on a sobering note, is that why people read/delete me? LOL Well, that was a short-lived happy moment!
 Quiteguy76
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 40
Read/Deleted
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:40:07 AM
I thin that read delete is the cowards way out, yes I will be honest as I have been guilty of it a couple times. but for sexual emails yes I do.

I just think it is funny, if you where face to face with me( is what I think) you would be having a great conversation and laughing. However on here. they have no Idea, I am not a net person at all, I cannot type my emotions and by this it makes it very hard to get ahead. etc etc , but I dont worry to much I reply with a comment. and of course no matter what, it is there loss not mine.

for some reason I keep thinking hmmm she will be worried about being treated as a trophy and have an affair with time., just because he was cute...muhahahahaha ok it made sense to me. lol
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