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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Is the fairytale impossible after 30?      Home login  
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 26
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30? Page 2 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
fabulous reply well done ... its each partners job to make it work
 lyin eyes
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 27
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:23:05 PM
Thank God that there are still men out and about like yourself.I too still carry around someone whom I first loved,but I had leave him in the past where he belongs.And you are right saying things happen for a reason.I f you are meant to be it will be.But with such a great outlook on things,it wont be long for you.
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 28
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 11/25/2006 9:55:51 PM
I really do hope there is my perfect man out there somewhere and that one day i will meet him and realise who he is !!

As to fairytale - im not so sure because reality kicks in at some point (usually when you catch them picking their nose

I think what im trying to say is that - I hope there is such thing as the fairytale at any age but like Lori - one fairytale with an unhappy ending - Im a bit worried about knights on white horses - whats their motive??!!!

You have a problem. You are female. The female culture, which you are stuck with, untill you stop thinking like a woman, or like a sheep, and start thinging like a person, in your own right, has polarised the worlds male populaiton into perfect men and perfect barstards. Thats the problem.

So lets take a machho approach and start comparing partners to cars for awhile shall we?

Selecting a suitable partner in the first place is after all the basis of a good relationship just as selecting a suitable car is the basis of good motoring.

When the question is asked about what kind of man you want many desperate and dateless females reply with “any kind” but this is just setting the field for another disaster again. When I hear that “any kind” cliché these days my next question is. “Would you get back with your ex?” The answer is usually a very smart “no” as the women come back to reality with a thud.

When we talk about perfect men and perfect cars the perfect car is one that does 500kph, but cuts back to 100kph automatically when approaching a cop or radar camera. It does 200ks per litre of fuel. It requires no servicing at all. Not even an oil change. It turns all four wheels for parking and can carry ten people plus luggage in comfort. And the easy care surfaces, both inside and out, mean that cleaning just consists of opening all doors hosing the whole thing down, and letting it dry out.
Needless to say there’s no such car.

But the perfect man?

Here again the misinformation rears its ugly head. All too often girl talk reduces the male population to .

Perfect men, and absolute barstards. And every last woman is convinced that her ex was the worst barstard in the world.

Perfect Barstards

I’m going to start with the bemoaned “barstards” because they are one of the few male groups which are not a myth. They do exist. Get together with a few girlfriends who think that their ex’s are all barstards. List (write it down) their half dozen worst faults.

(If his only faults were genuinely snoring, breaking wind, and leaving the toilet seat up then ring him and beg him to take you back. You don’t know how good you had it girl.)

Then after your little get together, lob at the public gallery of the family law court. And listen to some of the real horror stories. Mostly lies! Some true! List them too. Then compare these horror stories with your ex’s. Sure he had his faults but how does he compare with the horror stories.??

Finally take the dozen worst horror stories from yourselves, or the courts and see if you know of any man who has those dozen worst faults in the one man.

You would have to be talking about a junkie, addicted to multiple drugs, who had beaten up at least one girlfriend badly enough to cripple her, and had raped his own five year old daughter. These men DO exist and they are absolute barstards.

Perfect men.

So does that mean that the rest of them are perfect men? Yea sure! Stop laughing and get off the floor.

In reality perfect men do not exist. The are a product of a little girls fairy stories. Kiddie books are full of fairies, pixies, hobgoblins, santas , and handsome princes. As girls mature most of these fantasy characters are left in childhood. But not the handsome prince, the dream man, the perfect man. That fantasy persists into adult life. And destroys relationships. Even among older women the expression “good man” still often pulls second fiddle behind the expression “perfect man”

The perfect man, by definition, has no faults. None at all. Not even faults that you don’t mind. No faults whosoever.

Nothing demonstrates the impossibility of this like the next example. The clash between time and money.
Time is money, but, to quote one particular lottery winner. “I always knew time was money but, until I was able to quit work and spend the time with my family, I never really understood how much money is also time.”

The perfect man has both unlimited time to spend on you, but also unlimited money. Doesn’t work that way!

John Paul Getty senior once demonstrated this time money clash in a nasty confrontation with his wife . He had been home only to catch five hours sleep a night, for several weeks and had been putting in sixteen hour days making billions in the process. He was headed off yet again, to cut another deal when his wife warned him that if he walked out that door then she wouldn’t be there when he returned that night. Getty hesitated for a second and then replied. “ Then I’ll miss you very much my dear” and he walked out. She was still there that night.

Getty wasn’t a barstard. He was a loving husband, who genuinely loved his wife. But he was also a money man. And not a perfect man. He was a man who bought virtually unlimited money to the relationship but very limited time. Perfect man? Hardly! Absolute barstard? Once again, hardly! No wife bashings, no drug addiction, no abuse of his children. Getty fell in between the two like the vast majority of the male population.

That’s the whole problem, in a nutshell. Particularly with the way younger women approach relationships. They go looking for a perfect man. If the man they find isn’t perfect, they promptly list him as an absolute barstard, for no other reason than he isn’t perfect.

Worse than that they often find a reasonable man, blindly see him as a perfect man, marry him, and then wonder what things have all gone so wrong when the faults that he has had all the time start showing up.

Even the perception of “good honest average men” is totally flawed. It’s still a flight of fantasy. Here’s another magnificent example.

Every year, the March of Dimes organization in Seattle hosts a March of Dimes Bid for Bachelors, where dates with bachelors are auctioned to the women. For the October 18, 1990, event, the chairwoman described the volunteer bachelors as "everyday kinds of guys." These "everyday kind of guys” were an artist, a stock broker, a doctor, a hydroplane racer, businessmen and even a retired diplomat."

If these are what women consider "everyday kinds of guys," then the vast majority of men, whose incomes and professions do not compare, must qualify as ‘barstards”. Clearly, there is no "man shortage." Only an abundance of shallow women!
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 29
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 11/29/2006 10:50:17 AM
Everyone has their own version of 'fairytale' so of course it's possible at any age. It may start out as a knight in shining armour, but that armour rusts after a while so we change it to prince charming on a white horse, although, he does fall off the horse at times...hmmmm....

Fairytales are meant to entertain, to allow us to dream and fantasize, but welcome to the real world!! The only reality to fairytales at ANY age is...HAPPILY EVER AFTER!! And the only one that can reach that point is you!!
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 30
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:35:45 AM
Oh c'mon people. Lighten up and have a little faith in the good things of life. Every single one of us have met someone who makes us go Wow! The smile that dazzles, the way that light seems to hover around them and the incredible way they make us feel. We have all felt that on first meeting someone. Its called kismet. And it can last a lifetime. I know people who have had it with their significant others for decades. It just hasn't happened for us yet. Stop being so cynical, have a little faith and maybe it will come sooner rather than later.
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 31
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:16:41 PM
well, I still don't have kids and I still believe in that fairytale because I know that either I'll find a woman who'll light up my life(with or no kids) so I'm good. I am still a hopeless romantic and I'm ready to unleash my all to a special lady, they just come so few and in between these days, younger women are OK, but they grow up and out of the relationship, just like everybody else. I have always loved a great smile and I still am old-fashioned. I am still a gentleman who wishes I could ride on a white horse to save my princess........stuff I saw in the Disney Channel, LOL

I've watched "The Notebook" one too many times, but I'm over 30 and I still believe that it can happen so don't worry about it. you'll meet that person, just have to be careful and take it slow
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 32
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/6/2007 1:12:42 AM
when we have a fairytale idea of someone what
we really mean is having

a perfect person,or as perfect as circumstance allows.,,,,,,,
the best way to do it is to be as perfect as we could
in ourselves
instead of waiting for someone like that to come along
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 33
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/7/2007 8:39:39 AM
Being much older than most I have seen on here [though single] I have to ask the question.
Why must it be called a fairy tale to get the soft fluttery butterflies in your stomach, when you hear his/her name. The feeling that when you see them your heart just turns over, or you can not wait until they are there before you. You catch yourself day dreaming how they alone shut out the world and it is just the two of you, when you are together. How if they hold you, nothing can ever harm you. You want to cry for no other reason then they make you feel so wanted, needed and even desired. Your breath catches in your chest and you want with every beat of your heart to be with this person.. After 30, yes I am after 60, and have met someone younger, he brings more happiness with just saying hello then I could have ever thought possible...........Call it what you will, I just call it happiness.
Joined: 12/1/2006
Msg: 35
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/18/2007 7:14:56 PM
After all the relationships I've had, I haven't had the feeling that I was really dating "the one." My last boyfriend and I thought about getting married but I kept seeing red flags and eventually realized he's not for me. I know that when I find the right one, I won't have any doubts. I'll just know.
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 37
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:48:23 AM
I think being realistic is the key.

Say I really have a good idea as to what I want in a prespective mate now. I feel as though I am realistic in my expectations and have promised myself to NOT lower them or make exceptions to parts that are very important to me.

This is not to say I have a certain height, weight hair color guidelines ( although same may ) this is more along the lines of lifestyle, outlook, and say sense of responsibility. If someone walks into my world with all of these traits WOW, I am a believer. The problem is, with these traits, I cannot be "blown Away"by mere sight of someone like I could have say .... in my College days. This is why the fairy tale MAY exist for some of us , but, it is HARDER to decipher in the early stages of meeting someone.

Sigh, I guess I have matured, wow, who would have thought?
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 38
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:18:08 PM
I dont think fairy tales exist, at least to the non delusional person. A fairy tale means perfection and as human beings, we are not perfect that's for sure.

However, I do believe that as you age, you realize more and more that this fairy tale doesnt exist, you start to accept faults in yourself and others more readily and you are generally more relaxed about people. Keep in mind , one persons perception of a fault is anothers "must have".lol I for one am glad we are not perfect, how boring would that be? lol
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 39
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:08:52 PM
I sure hope the fairytale is still possible after 30!
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 40
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/6/2007 3:55:29 PM
absolutly, first off its a fairytale, there is noone out there that is perfect.
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 41
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/6/2007 10:30:58 PM
Maybe it is time to create a luggage size limit that needs to pass your on board radar??

Just my opinion.....
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 42
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/11/2007 10:05:12 PM
I sure hope that a great relationship of love & trust is still possible after 30 because I just turned 36 and have yet to be in LOVE, now don't get me wrong I have had loving feeling for people, but I not had the Chance to fall Head Over heels yet. I have not given up yet, hell the romantic fool that I am is ready to bless the right person with all of The Power and Light of my love.
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 43
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/17/2007 1:23:19 AM
I don't know about fairytales, but I think there are plenty of good and warm-hearted people out there that I could fall for, and that could fall for me. There's no set age limit on it. Its a little more difficult for me because I haven't given up completely on the idea of a family, and consequently date younger women for the most part. It ain't easy, but we're all here, and I know I for one will go on tilting at that particular windmill, whether there are kids in the picture eventually or not.

I'm an old movie buff, and a Bogart fan in particular. Bogie and Bacall was one of the great love stories in Hollywood history, but how many know that when they met, he was 46 and she was 19? Not that I could ever see myself with someone that was 19! Yikes!

A more current example might be Michael Douglas. He met and married Katherine Zeta Jones and had children in his mid 50s. I pointed this out to my mother one day, and her only reply was, "Yes, but you're not Michael Douglas". Oh boy, you gotta love mom and her voice of
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 44
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/21/2007 11:37:10 AM
I met the love of my life on the internets (political blog) three years ago. Not perfect, either of us, but wise enough to know we'd come home. Come Spring, I'll bury his ashes under a redbud.

Would I quit now? No. Not yet. Maybe never. That connection: heart, soul, brain, life, body is something worth working for.

Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 45
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/4/2007 10:09:27 PM
it isnt called a fairytale, its called a miracle
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 46
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 8/28/2007 4:10:19 AM
Fairytales are definitely possible after 3o, OP. They're possible before as well.
My friends are living proof. They're completely in love with each other and perfectly suited as well.

Feminist fairytales, however, are impossible. The feminist movement sold women the idea that you can have it all, sexual freedom and romance, independence and a guy who you can rely on. The idea of achievement w/out work.

If you examine the fairytales, they are all tales of woe and of hardship.

Little Red Riding Hood's Grandmother lives in a dark, and dangerous forest, and she has to go through that forest to get to her Grandmother's house, only to find her Grandmother has been eaten by a wild animal, a wolf, and she has to defend herself against such a vicious animal. Can you imagine the trauma of that?

Cinderella spends her whole life being treated like dirt by her family, with no way out, unlike today. When her fairy godmother tells her she can go to the ball, she doesn't burst into tears, and moan about how her family treats her. She doesn't blame her family at all. She doesn't get upset about having to leave at midnight. She doesn't hate the prince for leaving her back in that workhouse for another year. She loves him, and doesn't bring her baggage on him.

The Prince doesn't get mad and find another girl. He looks the land over for one woman, when every hottie in the land will happily sleep with him, just to have a chance.

Snow White works hard for the 7 dwarfs, but she doesn't go for a bit of nookie with one of them, just because she's horny. She doesn't try to seduce one of them, and get him to marry her, because they are unbelievably rich. She doesn't flirt with them and get them to like her and get hurt. She gives as much as she gets and they are happy for her company and her hard work.

Rapunzel allows the prince to climb up her hair. All the way up a very tall tower. Do you know how painful that is?

Even my 2 in-love friends work 11 hours a day, and she works on Sunday too. They only have Saturday together, and evenings when they are worn out from work. They don't complain about it at all.

All of them went through great hardship, because fairytales are not easy. Faeries themselves are not the smiling, happy creatures feminists said they were. They were cruel and petty, and loved to play unbelievably hurtful jokes on people, and often put their lives at risk, and some died, according to the legends.

Even the American Dream is all about hardship. Look at It's a Wonderful Life. Everything is collapsing around Jimmy Stewart.

I can still remember the Cary Grant film, where he marries a woman, and they adopt several children, and they live in poverty, so they can look after all of these kids, yet none of them are their own, and all adopted at their own choice.

I knew people who would be in their 90s by now. He was an electrician, and would work 12 hours a day, every day, and once a fortnight, adding a night, making 36 hours. They didn't have a hallway. When you opened the front door, snow would pile into the main room.

Women used to have to cook for 12 hours a day, and do all housework and laundry by hand.

We are spoilt by comparison.

It is wise for us to count our blessings.

For if we do, we will stop worrying about all of the unimportant things in life, and find the true values that exist. So it becomes much easier to find the right partner for us.

That's my £0.02
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 47
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 9/10/2007 8:40:07 PM
Oh intense connections are very easy for people to make if they wish to connect, but that doesn't mean you start planning your next forty years immediately.
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 48
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 9/12/2007 1:27:26 AM
Ok..I just turned 30 so now I'm allowed in this forum..and I have to say...

AAAaaaaahhhhhh! What kind of question is this? Are we condemned after 30? Am I missing something, cause no one told me that I was going to turn into a lonely, sex crazed, spinster as soon as I turned 30..someone should warn a girl that stuff is going to happen! So far that is all I have read about becoming 30, haven't any of you seen the movie 13 Going on 30? Thirty is the new Twenty!!!

I for one do everything Bass Ackwards. I had the Children, then finished the Education, then got the house, then got the Higher Education, and now I want the person who warms my butt and feet in the winter, that I can quarrel with, and can roll around on the floor wrestling acting like hormonal teenagers with!

There is life after 30, there has to be because I haven't had mine yet...and dammit I want it! Oh see I sound like a kid already. And if it is too late, I'm not so far into Thirty that I can't regress and be 26 for a few more years!
Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 49
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 9/12/2007 9:42:24 AM
Yes, Virgina, it still exists. Fifty years later, and still acting like kids:

Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 50
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 9/16/2007 1:36:26 PM
Well, I just turned thirty about 25 years ago... and I've met my sleeping beauty... problem is - she never seems to sleep.
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