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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Is the fairytale impossible after 30?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 76
Is the fairytale impossible after 30? Page 4 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

I think love is hard to find at any age....Impossible after 30? I don't think so

I think the OP was asking about a fairy tale, not love. You can end up loving someone that's not right for you... or is right for you, but how things unfold isn't fairy-tale-ish.

I think a few years after 25 or so, people have a harder time denying reality. :) Or in other words, a harder time looking at life through fairy-colored glasses. They've been inspired by romantic comedies & dramas on the screen, and have their views based on that... or old stories about relatives or someone who knows someone that sounds magical (stories hollywoodize themselves).

I think when we become non-rookie adults, we find the greater substance when it comes to actual reality and how things work, despite the sting it can bring when accepting it head on. But for some, they're not ready for it, and they become cynical. Heck, once you're 30, it is harder in general to find a great match -- so that really gets fairy-tale-hoping people even more frumpy.

A similar situation would be the gals who "chase butterflies but not men". They NEED butterflies. They get excited about the flavor-of-the-month guy, butterflies abound... but when the butterflies aren't fluttering so much, they move on, disappointed. They're torturing themselves, because they think that life's depressing if it's not a highlight reel, like a 2 hour sappy/funny movie can bring. I actually find that point of view depressing!
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 77
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 12/21/2009 11:09:18 AM
I think if y'all got together, you could slap the company with a class action suit
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 78
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 12/21/2009 6:43:39 PM
Is the fairytale possible before 30?



There's a reason it's a fairy tale.

It's called make believe.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 79
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/11/2010 4:02:10 PM
maybe you are all reading different stories than I am, but fairy tales didnt end happily ever after. In the original Hansel and Gretel got eaten; Little Red Ridinghood... eaten.... Little Mermaid.... banished from teh sea and died a spinster.
Go back and read the Brothers Grimm. It aint all happy like Disney wants you to believe.
 herpiesyphlus
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 80
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/14/2010 8:44:38 AM
Well put Darkest Rose, when women start treating men like a prince they can expect fairytales.
The problem lies with the way women treat men. We are taken for granted, in today society. I recently went to the US for a night out, the way women treated me was 1000 times different, they made eye contact, they approached me and started conversations and carried them, they dressed provocatively and held themselfs with class and distinction. Women in Canada, specificly Ontario need to be re educated on how to treat a man. Then hopefully there wont be so many single mothers in the proceeding generations looking for love at 35-40 when you should have been married off at 20 something.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 81
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/14/2010 9:22:28 AM
the people who have met the long- term partners post 30 (i.e. most people) are laugh right now!

~sc~
 flybuttersocial
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 82
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/14/2010 9:34:22 AM
k just because you are over 30 doesn't mean your heart dies or that you are old.
Sure you might go through some life experiences like divorce and having children etc which can alter your state of mind in regards to love but for the most part as long as you are open to receiving this great intense feeling of love and connection there is always the possibility it will find you again.

It's hard to know what your definition of a fairytale is, but you should know by now that nobody is perfect.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 83
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/14/2010 9:10:42 PM
Hey--when I was 5 I believed in fairy tales and Cinderella type stuff. I'm an adult now. Fairy tales do not exist.
 Michelle*My*Belle
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 84
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/17/2010 11:22:41 PM
I can understand how people can get discouraged by not finding mr. right/miss right after so many years of searching. No we are not living in some disney movie with a prince and princess, but real love does exist if you are open to it. It is all about your mind set. Abraham Lincoln once said, "That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well". Our mind is very powerful and if you are closed off to the possibility of living in bliss with a soul mate, you most definitely won't ever find your own version of the fairytale! You have to believe you are worthy of such love and be open to finding it. If you've ever taken a personal development course you will understand the power of your own thinking. For a brief outlook watch "the Secret" or read the book. You may change your mind. Negativity breeds more negativity and a positive outlook will attract positive results! It may not be the fish that are the problem, but maybe instead the bait you are using as a lure.

Good luck to everyone in your search. The possibilities of life are endless.
 guyinacorner
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 85
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/24/2010 3:53:37 PM
falling head over heals in love at first sight is for kids.
I dont like to think of myself as bitter or jaded. but I think you can only fall head over heals once. mabey twice before you become bitter or jaded.


first time is always the best time
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 86
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/24/2010 5:14:22 PM

If you've ever taken a personal development course you will understand the power of your own thinking. For a brief outlook watch "the Secret" or read the book. You may change your mind.

The power of your own thinking does a lot more than your intuition assumes, yes (which gives you that miracle-like Holy-Sh!t-Awesome feeling when looking back on what optimistic-believe-in-yourself thinking can do). However, "the Secret" is a pile of horrible, horrible garbage. It goes beyond that to say that you control the universe -- the universe -- by what you believe. If you fear your bike being stolen after you lock it up, it will actually alter reality and be more apt to be stolen. If you fear traffic jams, it will cause traffic jams. And of course, its nail in the coffin is that if things aren't working out -- you must be believing wrong.

Aside from that stuff, I think that fairytale-like honeymoon periods are possible at any age. However, that's puppy love, not real love (but can obviously lead and solidify into real love).

As far as LTRs and into marriage, well, that's a different story. People can hit the brick wall of reality before they hit 30 when they're in a multi-year relationship or are married, and realize it isn't pixy-dust based.

Personally, the "sickness" of only being satisfied is by forming & having a relationship based on a romantic comedy, is pretty sad and lacks substance. The true depth of something cannot be based on a mere highlight film. A great relationship would have its highlights here and there -- but one shouldn't be chasing fairy-tales.
 eurosteve
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 87
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/28/2010 6:50:00 AM
I did believe it but I dont anymore... I have met someone off another dating site, I have really felt a very deep intense connection, she told me she did too.. 2 weeks later, everything has gone to hell! Her and I have been talking on and off since than and I kind of feel like she just told me what I wanted to hear so she can have me around for a few weeks as her boytoy which I told her from the get go I am looking for a long term relationship not a play buddy, I am not into that.. things are weird right now.. I dont even know if I ever will be able to love again after having my heart broken and trampelled on this much, the problem with me is, I wear my heart of my sleeve, I am very sweet, caring, honest, loyal, a great communicator and often women I meet see right through this and use me and take advantage... lol, and than people wonder why both soo many men and so many women have trust issues :)
 Berdarien1
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 88
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/28/2010 3:16:42 PM
I just have to say it damn well better still be possible or I want a refund. Yes it is.. No doubt. I'd rather be alone and still a romantic then with someone I didn't really want to be with and change to a pessimistic realist..

Bear
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 89
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 4/30/2010 3:59:41 PM
Well, I'm pretty sure I experienced this. It happened when I first travelled oversea's for the 1st time. I was 27 then. I travelled to Malaysia (not a 3rd world country). And no, I'm not talking about sex tourism. Yet, to many I'm sure this is similar to what you described. But I met fellow travellers who were just looking for much of what you described limitless, somewhat unconditional romance. I learned first hand it's more prolific when travelling, beacause some people tend to lose the inhibitions they would have at home.
 krystalismylove
Joined: 6/6/2010
Msg: 90
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 7/4/2010 10:51:01 AM
It is possible. I dated, broke up, dated others ... but out of everyone I ever dated, nothing came close to the current relationship I have now. We've been dating for 2 years and are engaged. We're waiting to pay some of the mortgage off first before getting married. If only it was as easy as signing your name in the register and inviting people over for dinner ...
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 91
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 7/6/2010 1:42:51 AM
even if you got married in Disney World, went on the Disney fun cruise to their private island, and won the lottery; there is no fairy tale happy ending. Open your phone book, or direct your browser to divorce attorney...... there is a reason there are so many, and they are still in business.
Marriage, half of them end in divorce, the other half someone has to die to escape. Not boading well for a happy credit theme song.
 HappierAbroad
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 92
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 7/6/2010 5:25:19 PM
Not impossible
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 94
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 12/22/2010 9:30:56 PM
fairytale? no...

intense connection with someone after 30? yes


well...when I'm over 30 and she's under 30...totally YES....


how is married with children "fairytale?"
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 95
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/2/2011 6:37:57 AM
It was impossible before 30.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 96
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Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/3/2011 12:03:35 PM
Well...after a pretty bad 1st breakup, I was awfully cynical - and then the fairy tale happened to me. I was 34. And we were perfect and happy together and nothing, absolutely NOTHING else mattered, as long as I ended every day in his arms. Happily ever after lasted for 6 years, almost - then he died.

So - yes.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 97
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/6/2011 4:52:34 AM
You hit the nail right on the head!!!


it wasnt the guy i imagined


This is so true especially in the beginning when it's all hunky dory and you wake up next to each other thinking “how did I ever love my life without you?”.

I don't believe their is a fairytale in any relationship simply because in any relationship there are disagreements, arguments etc... The fairytale relationship excludes all of that and paints them to be nice ALL the time but let's face it, it's the highs and lows that makes them stronger... or breaks them.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 98
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/7/2011 5:43:45 PM
"Is the fairytale impossible after 30?"

sure, anyone can kiss a frog... or frogette :)
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 99
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/8/2011 12:06:24 AM
sure its possible
just remember in the original Hansel and Gretle, the witch eats the kids

or is that not the fairy tale you meant
Really, go read the originals, not the Disney versions; it might just cure you of wanting a 'Fairy tale' ending.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 100
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/16/2011 7:59:11 PM
Wanting a "fairytale" is about as silly as a pro ball player feeling unsatisfied and dopey because their career in sport didn't match the ESPN highlight reel they've viewed as a teen. Real life situations are not highlight reels.... they're not classic RomComs or fairytales.

As someone put it best: The woman I'm happy with is better than the woman of my dreams. The woman I'm with is real, the woman of my dreams is just a fabrication in a dream.
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