Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Is the fairytale impossible after 30?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 gmichael1967
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 151
view profile
History
Is the fairytale impossible after 30? Page 7 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
i absolutely think its possible to connect with the right person almost instantly! i sure hope the fairy tale is possible after 30! now i dont believe in movie love! real fairy tale is finding someone who knows everything you are, and everything you are not.....and loves you anyway!
 BuddFoxx
Joined: 8/7/2011
Msg: 152
view profile
History
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 8/19/2011 10:06:11 PM
The fairytale ended when your first relationship ended.
 bravehart64
Joined: 6/3/2009
Msg: 153
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 8/21/2011 11:19:56 AM
Op you do now what a fairy tale is right ? Now you want to know if ones possible ? Did you think this question through before you asked it ?

"i dont think fairytales ever comes true tho.... it is just in the book.... but you know what, its not bad to dream and hopefully to live with that dream someday.. it a bonus...."

Why is dreaming and hoping for a fairy tail to maybe come true a bonus ? Stopped dreaming for and hoping for impossibilities along time ago .So I shouldn't of stopped because maybe they might have come true ? Am I the only one that thinks this is a little insane ?
 thelastdance51
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 154
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 8/25/2011 8:36:46 PM
You are so right verygreeneyez! Age is important only if you're cheese
 tallorder1179
Joined: 5/18/2011
Msg: 155
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 8/25/2011 8:55:37 PM
It all depends on one's definition of a "fairy tale". For a man like myself who has never married (or lived with a woman) and has no children, my fairy tale is to do all of that with a woman. If she's divorced with kids, then my fairy tale goes bye-bye. But there are true romantics of all ages and walks of life who still believe in the concept of true love of all ages.
 CynM
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 156
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:14:33 PM
fairytale
a story in which improbable events lead to a happy ending
~ merriam-webster.com
Yes, I believe improbable events can lead to a happy ending, at whatever age. Just depends on what you call a happy ending. For me, the happy ending I'm looking for is not an end at all, it's (I hope) a lifelong process that will have times of happy, sad, angry, silent, passionate, awed, jealous, hurt, etc. I'm looking for intense. That is what makes me happy. I found intense and there may not be another woman alive (or at lease on pof) who would consider this her idea of a happy ending, I am happy - from a sequence of improbable events.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 157
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/2/2015 6:31:34 PM
Resurrecting this thread as homage to my aunt and uncle who lived a fairy tale (a story in which improbable events lead to a happy ending ~ Merriam-Webster).

My aunt died a few weeks ago from cancer she'd beat twice before but this last time was fast and aggressive. One way my uncle 'Rex' is dealing with his grief is by posting on Facebook - not every day, but a few times per week. This is today's post. There are people who will say fairy tales are not real and there are people who will say he is falling into the widowers' trap of making her a saint, but they would be wrong. This is how Rex and 'Cheryl' lived; 2 imperfect people who both stepped up to the commitment line and then pushed and pulled against each other, through the fear and discomfort, for the rest of their lives.

P.S. when he refers to Cheryl and himself as 'kids' it's relative to his current age. They were both in their early/mid 30s (never married, no kids) when they met.

------------- The True Fairy Tale -------

Over the years I have shared the story of our meeting and courtship so many times. One more time is permitted. About 35 years ago, after working in Brazil, my next job assignment was in Libya (North Africa). My flight stopped in Athens, Greece where I was bumped off my flight by the surge of travelers who had left Libya during Ramadan. (Being in a less repressive and less religious country would permit them to eat during the day).

I had to wait in Greece for three weeks for a new flight so I traveled to the island of Crete. I was sailing back from Crete to Piraeus (sea port for Athens) with deck passage on a ferry. Lots of young college students were also on board sharing their wine and having a good time. It was a beautiful night. After midnight the skies opened with torrential rains. I found a dry spot under a table. A German student with long legs and beautiful blue eyes also sheltered under the table. We arrived in Piraeus about 5am and there was one bar open. I spoke very little German and the student spoke very little English. However I had tea bags in my jacket pocket and convinced her that a Greek bar could make us tea and help us recover from being cold and water damaged.

We spent three days together touring Athens, trying to pretend we understood the other’s language. We asked each other probing and intellectual questions. For example, she was curious why someone who had a dry spot in a rain storm was stupid enough to share it. For my question, I asked for her address. She gave her address because she knew she would never see me, so what was the harm of humoring the American boy.

After three days together, she returned to Germany. I flew to Libya. After three months in north Africa I flew to Germany and spent a week with Cheryl. I had never met anyone like her in my life. I told her that I planned to marry her. She told me that was the stupidest thing she had ever heard. She asked what Americans must be like if they will marry someone they have known for a week.

I invited her to come to America for a visit and find out. She accepted and stayed for a month but was still convinced that Americans were nuts. Then I found work around Europe so I could fly to Germany regularly and try to develop this potential romance. I wrote to her every day for several years and finally Cheryl selected me. We married in Germany and moved to Seattle.

Several people have told me that a love story that begins under a table on a Greek ferry is the most romantic story they ever heard. It is not. Years later I learned that Cheryl was in Greece recovering from her first procedure for cancer. Amid the chaos of obtaining visas, packing, getting married and moving to America, Cheryl missed her cancer follow-up appointment. A year later she had her first American medical appointment and we learned that the cancer had returned. Our 35 year romance began with cancer and ended with cancer. We never lost confidence in each other during the struggle. That is romance.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 158
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/2/2015 7:20:03 PM
Cynthia......


Thank you so much for sharing that! What an incredibly, moving testament to love. Even though I have experienced this type of love.....I sometimes lose faith. With so many discouraging stories.......ones such as this are needed in order to shine that bright light of hope which many seek!
 AlienHumanHybrid
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 159
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 1/2/2015 9:04:55 PM
I don't see love at first sight -or the feelings associated with a new relationship -as signs of desperation, but of endless possibilities. Endless possibilities are what fairy tales are all about -but you have to know how to treat each other well and make the future wonderful no matter what happens which you can't control.
It takes love, education and perseverance to keep those feelings and create even greater and deeper emotions. When we give up -or give up on each other or push each other away -there are no more possibilities.
If you have a real opportunity to love someone, give your all.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 160
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/11/2015 12:13:43 PM

What an incredibly, moving testament to love. Even though I have experienced this type of love.....I sometimes lose faith.

My uncle continues to post more stories. They're filled with the details of 2 real humans displaying true care, compassion, faith, trust, vulnerability, humility, and therefore what I would consider unconditional love. For me, personally, there are few things in life more intriguing than a man who loves his wife. I find these stories fascinating because they are real life fairy tales that I have seen so it gives me hope.

Although sometimes it makes the reality of my life harder. Some people win the lottery and some don't.
 MeMeMeatlast
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 161
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/11/2015 12:35:37 PM

First off, I don't believe in fairy tales at any age


I totally believe in fairy tales - but my definition of " fairy tale " is :

A woman who accepts me for who I am , warts and all , and gets along with me on a consistent basis.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 162
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/11/2015 2:21:56 PM
Better than a fairytale, I believe in the Unicorn.

Yeap. A mythical creature that does not exist. That is what my friends call my girlfriend. She is an awesome person. Likes to give me guy time. She can open her own doors, cut the grass, do some mechanical and electrical work when needed, yet when she decks out, looks like a super model and in the bedroom is out of this world awesome.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 163
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/11/2015 5:44:04 PM
Fairytale is highly improbable, reason being is you created an idea of something in your mind that isn't parallel to reality. There is no type of relationship that goes without trial and error, and the fairytale is never met because it doesn't adjust for true to life circumstances.

Your fairytale - happy ending will not magically show - it is something that has to be earned and have two willing partners. Happiness is a pursuit - not a destination, so by definition you can't just marry someone and live happily ever after, the happily ever after requires a lot of work, communication, understanding, and again two willing partners. That's hard to find, I don't know many people who are like that in an of itself, let alone two people who are like that who get together.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 164
view profile
History
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/11/2015 6:46:11 PM
To me, the fairy tales died when I went into the real world. Thinking someone would love me just because I was a good person, was the worst fairy tale of all. Maybe it was for the best, maybe it was for the worst. Who knows? (shrug) I learned this world is almost literally my hell. A beautiful hell, but still a hell.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 165
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/11/2015 6:50:29 PM
For me, my fairytale is having someone strong around who will fix stuff and help me move furniture and hang pictures and light fixtures. Is it possible? heck yeah.
And who loves making awesome spaghetti.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 166
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/11/2015 8:53:30 PM
Great story you have shared about your aunt and uncle there, CynthiaSM.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 167
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/12/2015 6:51:23 AM

Your fairytale - happy ending will not magically show - it is something that has to be earned and have two willing partners. Happiness is a pursuit - not a destination, so by definition you can't just marry someone and live happily ever after, the happily ever after requires a lot of work, communication, understanding, and again two willing partners. That's hard to find, I don't know many people who are like that in an of itself, let alone two people who are like that who get together.


Very well said Vector. You have to work at it, and you have to be at a place where YOU are ready to work at it. If I didn't have that tremendous failure of my previous LTR, I would have not been ready for this relationship. If she didn't have to go through the incredible pain of losing her husband, she would not have been ready for what we have.
We choose actively to dote on the other. Care about the other, and verbalize our feeling for each other all the time. Nothing is taken for granted, even the things that I were silent in previous relationships, I verbalize now.

Two very important things I've learned. Don't try to change anyone. Do not do a bait and switch.

Most people make the big mistake of getting in a relationship with someone they sort of like, thinking that their feeling will change or improve, or that they can turn that unruly guy, or something about the woman into something else. All this does is create resentment and animosity towards the other. Second, don't put your best foot forward and paint an image of a person that you're not. Some women provide more sex that they usually would like. Men behave better than they really are and aquiesce to things that they do not like, so eventually when the guard is finally down, they realize that the person next to them is not what they first met. And the illusion falls apart.

A place where I got lucky as hell was that my girlfriend was severely attracted to my bad boy side. She liked my in your face attitude, the antsy face I make when I am cooked up in a house, the animal growl that lust after her and wants her now. She liked all those flaws that I presented to her. What she then realize that semi narcissistic attitude that went and got whatever I wanted, there was also a very emotional, vulnerable person willing to do anything and everything for her. Dote on her. And give. So she discovered the good guy. Or at least the good guy that I can be.

The problem with the fairytale mentality is not so much that women need to kiss more frogs and hope of landing a prince, but that there are a ton of princes out there that inside they are nothing more than toes.

Ribbit.
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 168
view profile
History
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/12/2015 1:36:23 PM
I love pretty women's toes.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 169
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 2/12/2015 4:58:10 PM
They say it takes roughly 6 months to you know - verify what you have going on. After that point you can be sure the novelty has worn thin, and the cracks will start to show. In those 6 months however, its easy to get caught up in the novelty, and then you will end up being humbled by the experience. At least that's what I learned, right after I learned that I wasted 5 years.

But you know what, that's the price I pay for livin' the dream. The high road has screwed me at every turn. And as a result I am finding that I have become someone that impulsively engages the shit. Like the other day these middle school kids were literally calling people faggots from behind a fence. You know women with strollers with kids in them, joggers, just anyone myself included. So the 2nd time I walked past I noticed the gate was opened, so I walked in and told those kids. The next time I catch them doing that shit, id slap the dogpiss out of each of them. And the look of terror on their faces was awesome. So the dad comes out and tries to browbeat me. And that didn't work out well for him at all, I had him tripping over his words by the time I mentioned those kids throwing eggs at the houses on the street.

And that's how I became the 4th street hero, telling punks how it is in the real world, a fence is not a barrier.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 170
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/4/2015 10:07:53 AM
I don't believe in fairy tales. Relationships with real people won't be fairy tales no matter how good they seem and fairy tales usually end after the prince takes a ridiculous quest and then marries the princess with little or no time to get to know them, whats so happy about alla that?
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 171
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/4/2015 12:05:18 PM

I love pretty women's toes.


Thank you for pointing that one out. I keep spelling toad phonetically as toe. The D is almost silence, or at least to a "ferner" like me. (spelled wrong on purpose.)
 jpwrnglrwmn
Joined: 10/21/2013
Msg: 172
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 3/21/2015 11:06:23 AM
When I was much younger, I had an idealized version of the person I would end up with. Then after meeting people in real life, and also online dating in my 30's, reality set in. Nope, I definitely don't believe in fairytales. Haven't read all the posts in this thread, but I just hope (though after several years of a self imposed dating break, hard to find motivation to want to be with someone) to find someone that I am compatible with. I guess it all depends on how you define "fairytale". . .if two people are realistic in what they are looking for, and willing to work toward, then no. . it's not impossible. But if you have two people with different versions of the ideal relationship, then, yes. . it's impossible.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 173
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 4/21/2015 4:46:30 PM

how you define "fairytale"


Well in the deep south a fairy tale alway's starts with "once upon a time". However country stories alway's start with "this ain't no sh!t"
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 174
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 4/21/2015 7:35:32 PM
Married twice after 30.

Still believe in Fairy Tales, but pressing the reset button is not getting easier.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 175
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:19:00 AM
The truth is not that eventually you will kiss a frog and turn into a prince, but that you will kiss that prince and he will turn into a frog.

A prince wants to live in his castle while you do his clothes, clean his tiara, wear uncomfortable glass sleepers.

Instead the big bad wolf wants to look at you, wants to eat you, wants to make you feel good.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Is the fairytale impossible after 30?