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 AUTHOR
 Amrit77
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 98
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Dating East Indian MenPage 3 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Dear JustAnotherGirl ,
A man like myself would not plan to move to India next year. I have never been to a different country......i am a proud English man with a big English flag tattooed on his right shoulder. ..In response to you last qoute...."Once very nice bonus might might be is if can cook authentic East Indian food. Yum!!! :)" ...............Im sorry but i dont know how to cook Indian food..........the only thing that i am good at is cooking English food and tying a smart turban.
 Positive_Rainbow
Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 99
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History
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 10/29/2008 9:29:57 PM
Only one thing about east indians that make me cautious in dating them. Like any man they can be very sweet and charming gentleman afterall they are still human beings.

What concerns me is this....
most are already pre spoken for to another girl of east indian decent at birth. I fear to actually fall for the man and then have him tell me he must leave me now to go get married.
Never happed to me personally but has to a close friend of mine, she was devastated. They had gone out for just over a year when he tripped her with that.

Also if anyone has read or even seen the movie "Not Without My Daughter"....That poor woman went thro hell and was treat like crap by her own husband an nearly lost her child when he fled to india with the kid.
For those that don't know the woman was white, married him and had his baby (a girl which are looked down on in india) Both the mother and daughter were americains.

Another woman born and raised in India; married a man from there(this one hit the media big time) they both remained living in India. The mother inlaw didn't believe the girl had come with a large enough dowery for her son. She actually went to the girl and had beatten her to death.

So would I date an east indian?....probably yes, but I would also be very guarded to start off and would also explain this to him with my reasons why (in all fairness).
 wildriver11
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 109
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/6/2009 9:50:37 PM
OK, let me give you an un-biased, politically incorrect, and matter-of-fact answer. The U.S. has many people from different continents' origins on this earth live here. For the most part (my humble opinion), the culture of the U.S. over the years has been more and more tolerant of the difference in other people's background. However, when it comes to mating/dating/family building people tend to go with what they are used to and grow up with. This country was built by Europeans. So the majority of the people are caucasians in the classification. Imagine if you will that you grow up in an all white neighborhood your environment and your background will influence you to date/marry a white person. It is only natural right? OK, there are some people who are more interested in dating someone else from different race because they like it for whatever reason. However, that is in the small number and not enough of a dating pool for everyone to date. If you count all people of all races that want to date/marry someone outside of their race, you do not have enough people to pair up! Therefore, the conclusion is that if you are not caucasian in the U.S. and you fancy someone who is in the majority of the race you set yourself up for failure. Maybe only 1 out of 100 women on here will date you. That is life and you have to deal with it. If you have better answer, let me know because I'm only 5'2 and I want to join the NBA.
 powerhouse77002
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 111
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:56:41 PM
This is not always the case. My parents didn't have an arranged marriage. I was married for some time to an east European woman and my parents supported my decision. I think there is a lot of stereotyping going on here. My brother is married to a Caucasian American female and they have two lovely kids. And love each other very much. I have many friends who are Indian and are married to white American Women. I also have friends who have mixed parents (Indian Father and Caucasian American Mother). All are very happy and successful in their relationships. The only thing I can think of is if some guys use the parent’s approval thing as an easy out clause. If you love someone then you should stick by him or her. I am half Indian. I respect my parents but make all my decisions freely and independently. So I don’t buy this mother rules business. This sounds way too much like an Indian movies. And just like Hollywood, Bollywood exaggerates. Come on P~S. If you break up with a Caucasian male are you saying your feeling wouldn’t get hurt? Or you would date a Caucasian man again? Or would it hurt less to date a Caucasian man? Break up are messy, People make excuses, and blame others. There are way too may people with too little information about Indians, Arabs and other cultures. I would suggest that you date few and give them every opportunity as you would anyone else. There are always exceptions to the rule and it doesn’t matter what culture you are from.
 powerhouse77002
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 112
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:59:28 PM
Don't worry about it. As long as you both are happy and support each other. Tell everyone to go fly a kite! If they support you they are not your friends! As are as being cowards .. Its more respect them fear. This is common is not only East Indians but most Asians. Look around you will find the same.
 powerhouse77002
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 113
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/17/2009 2:07:42 PM
This is double edged sword. I have been told that I am very too agressive. I can point out many women that say Indian men are very agressive in relationships and in business. I would say - Understand them and if the objective is the same then be happy and worry about other real issues like unemployment and recession.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 115
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/13/2009 7:13:00 PM

Nobody can come even near to India man. We should saltute them. In Europe, North America and othe countries, the divorce rates have reached 60% and touching 70%. India is the only country in the world, where divorce rate is less than 1%.

Well I'll have to take your word for that.

I would suggest there are a whole bunch of different social dynamics here relating to family social standing, pressure and pride. In many asian cultures one's obligation to their family overrides all other considerations, and the consequences can often be deadly. In India there are plenty of once-beautiful girls permanently scarred by acid because they spurred a suitor's advances and it's just accepted, marriages are arranged between families and the individual's wishes are disregarded.

Divorce in these families is a matter of great shame and the pressure to stay together even in the face of marital rape and domestic violence is often enormous.

Nobody should be forced to stay in an unhappy relationship for the sake of 'face' and people who peddle this line have nothing to be proud of.
 stellarmagic
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 129
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:11:21 AM
Though my situation is a bit reversed, I think it is applicable. I myself dated a white male for about 5 years. My family was perfectly okay with it, but his seemed to have a problem. We ended things because his mother felt my "religion" or lack their of was a big problem in their Christian household. I have seen many of my cousins date, and marry women/men of all different ethnicities. My sister married a black male, and though my family was a bit hesistant at first, they now adore him. My male cousins have married women of asian decent, as well a jewish decent. My female cousin recently married a hispanic guy. I am sure we are not the "norm" for Indian families, but you never know unless you try to date someone. Yes, culture dictates we listen to our parents and take their needs into consideration, but ultimatley it is the individuals choice. Basically, America is a big melting pot, and you'll find people of all races with triats you like as well as dislike. So I say, try something if you feel like it and see what happens
 stellarmagic
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 134
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 5/31/2009 2:03:12 PM
I have men of different races gauke too. Since I lived in a predominately hipsanic community, I had hispanic men "cat call", or even make sexual advances towards me. Does this shy me away form all hispanic men? No, way. There will be people from all different ethnicities that can irk you, but you cannot generalize. There is a man to man variation.


India has changed very much. Women, are not covered up and docile these days. Just rent any new Bollywood film and you'll see . :)
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 135
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:06:35 PM
Yes, we are not so familar with the culture is true, but there lies the problem with Indian boys hiding things from us to get a girlfriend, if we knew upfront they could not marry us, that the family will not like us or approve of us, would we not even start dating and getting our hearts broken and lives runied. You see I am married to an Indian guy for the past 3 years and have a 2.5 yr old daughter that he has not even seen in person because he has been in India since I was 5 months pregnant arranging his sisters marriages. So, we are not against all Indian people at all. You see we do give chances and then get our hearts broken, there is the problem. I have been struggling to work and take care of my child alone. He has not given me 1 dime for her care. At least if a guy is here in US, there is a good chance for court ordered child support. Anyways, I do not hate anyone or any race, just girls need to be aware of the cultural differences so they can be prepapred and make wise choices for themselves in life.
 luvs_jrny
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 136
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:23:17 PM
indysweetheart:

Unfortunately U met the wrong guy. But I am sure there were some warning signs which U may not have realized. The rule is any person who talks about marriage with some strings attached, must have some other motives. And 99% of the time it is bad as well as hurtful. At this age whenever someone has to take the family's permission must be out of his mind. Sometimes this way they play the game to avoid commitment etc. I hope U don't generalize this from your bad experience.
Also make sure this creep isn't living in US, and I hope U can pursue Child Support through your county etc. I hope U have his social security number etc, so U can track him even he lives in India, as India is a very friendly country to US.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 138
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:55:05 PM
What do u mean by strings attached? There were none that I know of. Yes, i have a copy of his social security card, old visa, and passport. I have his address in Noida and cell phone number and know where he works there- Radio Mirchi in New Delhi. He makes there what equates to 550.00 us dollars a month, do not think that will do much for Mia's expenses in the US. He is younger than me, but is also immature for his age. well see what happens. He did apply to an H1B Visa April 2007 which was just denied after 2 years in March. He says if he comes on a visa thru me, his family will know and then never talk to him again and kick him out and he will not be able to ever return to India. His parents are very traditional and he is the only son. He owes $50,000 in student loans for his MBA to an Indian bank, not sure how he could ever pay that back making 550 a month in India, so your correct in thinking he may leave there. I will see if I can attach a picture of Mia, so you can see what happens when East meets West. Lol
 luvs_jrny
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 139
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 10:16:23 PM
indysweetheart:
Whenever someone brings up topics such as my Visa is about to expire, or I am getting laid off, or I have some financial problems etc, it implies bad motives. I dated a white lady who later told me her financial problems repeatedly, and it didn't work out with me. Lots of Indians seem to me are very sensitive to their parents opinion. But in my mind it is me who decided my marriage to a very attractive tall, slim Indian lady who grew up in US. I am now divorced after a very long marriage, and it is very hard now for me to do dating. My son also dated white ladies here in US and I don't have any issues with it. He is a goodlooking tall boy born and raised here with western secular values. He is very curious to find why lots of white girls are attracted to him as compared to me.
Also dating men younger than your age has challenges. Mostly those men look for some intimate time and fun. You can learn from your experiences and be careful for the future.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 140
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 1:37:15 AM
I think maybe in twenties there is a larger dating pool, maybe is why more interest for your son. When you reach forty there is smaller and smaller dating pool as more people are married at this age.
 luvs_jrny
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 145
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 4:05:05 PM
When a slim, tall, attractive white lady has lots of white male friends, it's very obvious she won't be interested for Indian males. Education etc matters nothing, only thing matters is the look and feel of the same race people. And also via Internet no such lady will be interested for any Indian male for sure. If they see each other at work or so then something might spark, although very unlikely.
POF being a free site usually women in general has a Very High unrealistic expectations over here and may like to wait for their lifetime to find someone. They also forget that looks fade with time and age but dumb is forever. Also the male2female ratio is very high. On top of that younger males as compared to the females are very important for 37+ women. As dating an younger male as low as 20 or so make them feel back to that lost age. When all these negatives work internet dating for Indian males becomes unpossible. Also women in the California area are more open to date other than white males as they are grown up that way seeing others, whereas in the east coast women don't have such mindset. any 40+ Indian males should know that if U show interest to white women your first contact message will be deleted sometimes unread also. Sometimes women reply saying it's not a match. For this reason a dating preference option in the Profile would make life easier for all. Match.com has such option.
 luvs_jrny
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 146
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 4:44:55 PM
queensgirl09:
What U said is your own personal experience. And what U said about the way Indian ladies dress is also your personal findings. When I was a married person I never imposed dress code, my view is "Go with the flow" or "As the country goes so are the customs". Most of the Indians are happily married in US and that's why it's not easy to find around 40+ single indian males/females, i.e supply is extremely limited as compared to white or the predominant people. So when an Indian male/female becomes Single he/she has to be realistic to find someone for dating to see a relationship is possible or not. I also think that some Indian males/females might be fascinated with white females/males. In US I hope we would be able to make that individual choice. Best thing is to go for the mind because it is the mind which keeps the relationship. Usually when people only think about the Physical Attraction, wining and dining, sooner or later they find the charm has ended.
 stellarmagic
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 149
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/4/2009 12:02:24 AM
[I used to work with an indian woman and I heared that she was talking behind my back. She said she didn't like the way I dress. And I always caught her looking at me like checking out what I was wearing. She always wear long sleeve top like all covered. I heard that once they are married they are not allowed to wear something that exposed their arms, chest, back, or legs. ]

Really? That is not true at all. Both my sisters are married, and they can wear whatever they feel like it. Some traditional clothes, such as the sari, reveals quit a bit (mostly stomach area). I am sure there are women who are not allowed to, but again you are generalizing. Come on, we do have the Kama Sutra here :).


As far as the two types of girls shown in movies, well, maybe in some movies. However, the "item" girl is now the main actress. Sure, we as a culture do value women who cover up to a certain extent, but times are chaning. There is so many variation of Indian people. All Indian people do not share the same culture, food, religion, or language. India is a huge country, with various cultures mixed into one. Yes, there is certain similarities between most Indian "cultures", but there is similarites between all cultures and religions.

Again, you cannot judge a whole group of people based on a few interactions. People in all religions, races, cultures, nationalities, etc are not all the same.

If you do not have a physical attraction towards Indian men, sure don't date them. But don't prevent yourself from dating an "East Indian Man" because of sterotypical notions. He may be an ***hole, sure, but he also may turn out to be the best thing ever.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 151
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 10:34:24 AM
Regarding this comment-
well, let me clear some air first..All of indians you people dated are those who are not having higher degrees



Very wrong my friend Prashant has a Masters degree from a school In USA. All of his sisters also hold a Masters degree. As for only marring a girl your parents like? Whose life is it? They had their choice to make in love and marriage, now its yours. Any parent who loved you would also not want to see you hurt by not liking your choice.
 NTHSENSE
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 152
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:47:03 PM
Lol, I was just going to post about this, but from a more "scientific" angle.

I've been on the site for a month or so and as a curious and scientific minded person i've started analyzing a few things about the "demographics" of girls showing any level of interest in me. By looking at who's viewed my profile (which may indicate interest but not necessarily) to who has sent me messages (which definitely shows "some" level interest), I've realized that race/ethnicity is by far, the most similar shared characteristic between those women.

Like the OP, I'm East Indian and I live in a predominately white community, yet the overwhelming number of women sending me messages, viewing my profile are of an east indian background....which I guess shouldn't be that surprising but it is kind of odd. I've only dated indian and black/mixed women, and that just seems odd, given the demographic of the neighborhood i reside in (overwhemingly white). it's not that i want to date white women, i'm just interested in WHY there's basically no attention from them yet much more from a smaller minority (in terms of POF's overall membership).

all of this leads me to several questions on the topic:

how much does race/ethnicity play a role in attraction?

what role does the media and other external factors play in how women of other races' perceive you?

are women less likely to "look" outside of their race than men?

am i intrinsically less attractive to other women than i am to women coming from a similar racial background?
 NTHSENSE
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 153
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:49:56 PM
obviously this is just about "attraction" on a superficial level, but it's fascinating to me. i'm such a numbers/patterns nerd.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 156
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:54:11 PM
Hmm and you think that beacuse my skin is white that I do not love and respect my parenta as much as you do? Very big misconception, I talk to my parents almost everyday and value their viewpoints on any decisions that I make in life, but the difference there is my family would never stop treating me like their daughter if I made a decision they do not like.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 160
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:21:12 PM
My parents with a big decision like marriage express their views also, they also think I am an intelligent adult and will tell me what they think and say the decision is mine to make. When I told my parents Prashant asked me to marry him, my parents said great when can we meet him? When they met Prashant they hugged him and welcomed him and said to me later he seems to really love you and is very sincere. Prashant's parents on the other hand said to him when he asked what if he married a lady from USA, his mother said- How can I live without my only son? No we do not want that. Never asked can we meet her, what is she like, ect. I do not know you or your family, but I can go only on my own personal experience and to other women's experiences. I also have a friend who is married to an Indian guy and they lived toghter for 5 years and he took her to India with him to his sisters wedding and said she is a coworker. They loved her and his mom told her that she feels like she is her daughter. When Sachin told them he wants to marry her a year or so later, all hell broke loose. Told him to immediately break it off with her, told his friends to get him away from her. lHe ended up marrying her and they have a baby girl now. He went to India to visit, bought them a new car. Then he told them he had gotten married and they yelled for hours and said they dont beleive him and he left next day back home . Since then- Nov 2008 they have not spoken to him. Anyways what Im saying is these things do happen and women need to know that the culture is completely differnt before dating a man born in India.
 krisninatlanta
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 165
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:41:48 AM
I have been asked out by quite a few indian guys.. I think because i tend to hang out at the library computer lab too much(lol) but i exclusively dated one for some time.He was quite older but was childless and had never been married srilankan guy. He was awesome, intelligent (i love nerds and he was ONE) and he was very expressive and sensitive to my feelings. He definitely could pick on my energy, and he was a very kindred soul. We were both pretty quiet, non confrontational, and affectionate. Needless to say it ended because his parents whom lived in the UK got sick and he wanted me to just pack up everything, and go with him to get married...in my life at that time i couldnt, but now since im older i do regret not taking the chance....but he was a great guy plus he loved me for who i was and didnt ever try to change me.
 sweetmystery151
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 171
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 8/8/2011 12:51:42 PM
I think most women won't date east indian men. Not because they are not a major minority race, because in Vancouver they are THE major minority. But because they have a very bad reputation. Surrey and Abbotsford have the highest domestic crime rates in the area, AND highest east indian populations. This is because so many beat their significant others. It's in the paper daily. One just hacked his wife to death with an axe at her workplace. Another set his pregnant wife on fire. In my experience most of them have a drinking problem and when they drink they are violent. Groups of males aren't welcome in many establishments like night clubs because they start fights.

So to answer your question, I would NOT date an east indian male (I also do not find them physically attractive). I don't know anyone who would, not even east indian women. Many of the guys actually go back to India to find wives because Canadian girls won't go near them.
 IamTheWalrus11
Joined: 12/28/2011
Msg: 174
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 1/20/2012 5:27:14 PM
I don't get it what has race got to do with dating men? I'm an East-Indian man and I'm not born and brought up in America, I don't care about the caste system, well groomed, not a criminal, surely won't marry a girl my parents ask me to, surely know how to treat women, don't own a convenience store. Don't know where these stereotypes come from. I do have an accent and like to cook curry though.
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