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 powerhouse77002
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 112
Dating East Indian MenPage 4 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Don't worry about it. As long as you both are happy and support each other. Tell everyone to go fly a kite! If they support you they are not your friends! As are as being cowards .. Its more respect them fear. This is common is not only East Indians but most Asians. Look around you will find the same.
 powerhouse77002
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 113
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/17/2009 2:07:42 PM
This is double edged sword. I have been told that I am very too agressive. I can point out many women that say Indian men are very agressive in relationships and in business. I would say - Understand them and if the objective is the same then be happy and worry about other real issues like unemployment and recession.
 p~s
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 114
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/13/2009 6:38:32 PM
Hi InSearchfortheone .
Maybe they do use this as an out, actually I've only really liked a couple Indian men, started seeing one for a while. Ok, I admit part of what I said was based on the stories of friends experiences but I've heard it from Indian men that they just use white women for sex. It's disgusting the things I've heard them claim. It was on an Indian vs white forum and maybe they were purposely trying to be rude but the attitude from men born in India was generally that white girls are easy and they don't mind messing around with us but when it comes down to marriage they prefer to settle with and Indian woman.
The Indian man I started to see for a while was married once before in an arranged marriage and his parents were pressuring him to go to India and chose another wife.
I'm just saying that the mothers really do have some real pull. Not just basing this on my own limited experience of knowing Indian men.
I know there are exceptions but you do have to be careful because some of the less open families where the parents don't like whites do to stereotypes will undermine the relationship.
Of course if I break up with Anyone regardless of race I will be hurt.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 115
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/13/2009 7:13:00 PM

Nobody can come even near to India man. We should saltute them. In Europe, North America and othe countries, the divorce rates have reached 60% and touching 70%. India is the only country in the world, where divorce rate is less than 1%.

Well I'll have to take your word for that.

I would suggest there are a whole bunch of different social dynamics here relating to family social standing, pressure and pride. In many asian cultures one's obligation to their family overrides all other considerations, and the consequences can often be deadly. In India there are plenty of once-beautiful girls permanently scarred by acid because they spurred a suitor's advances and it's just accepted, marriages are arranged between families and the individual's wishes are disregarded.

Divorce in these families is a matter of great shame and the pressure to stay together even in the face of marital rape and domestic violence is often enormous.

Nobody should be forced to stay in an unhappy relationship for the sake of 'face' and people who peddle this line have nothing to be proud of.
 p~s
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 117
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/17/2009 7:20:36 PM
"You could say that about any man of any race."
No I don't think so. In western culture men chose who they want to be with without worrying that there families will consider themselves shamed by his choice and disowning him. Also I think there's a lot more pressure in an Indian family to listen to and respect their elders, not that that's wrong in any way but there is definitely more restrictions because of that, especially if the Indian man is taking care of or going to be taking care of his folks in their old age right? He would certainly consider what they want for him for the sake of there being piece in the home. very very few white men will ever bother to take care of their parents, I respect this tradition but it definitely gives a guy a reason to maybe consider sticking to his own women because of culture and language. Just makes things easier in the long run for him and his family.
maybe I'm wrong?
 p~s
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 118
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/17/2009 7:24:39 PM
but I've heard it from Indian men that they just use white women for sex. "

'You could say that about any man of any race.'

Sorry, completely read and answered that wrong.
Yes you're right that can be said of any man of any race, unfortunately. But the other races don't mind actually settling down with a white girl. I know there's Indian men who are ok with white girls too but fewer I think.
 p~s
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 119
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/17/2009 7:30:19 PM
I want to clarify though that I'm not at all against brownies but, yes, I'm thinking from what I've heard and experienced that a girl needs to know what she's getting into from the word go when it comes to dating a brownie. Make sure that she wont be getting involved with someone she can't really be with in the end due to complications with his family or lack of understanding that not all white woman are porn stars :P
 p~s
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 121
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 4/5/2009 9:45:30 AM
"VERDICT : BROWN MEN AND WHITE WOMEN PLAYING RACE CARD"

What?!
I agreed with the first statement you made though... except I don't know what you meant by a few people are better from a distance and a few are better close? How many people you got going?
You sure you aren't one of those who aren't really dating or marriage material.
 Celrian22
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 123
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 4/7/2009 2:21:02 PM
For me I think it is basically based on what I am physically attracted to. I do not in anyway consider myself racist and frown upon those who make racist comments or display such behavior BUT I grew up for the most part around only white ppl. in my highschool I can not at all remember any black kids, few asian/indian etc. It wasn't until I went to University that I encountered a broader spectrum of nationalities and colour. So in life for the most part I only find myself attracted to white men of varying heritage. Indian/eastern men do not ever attract me physically nor do black men. On rare occassion I have found some asian/egyptian men good looking tho. I have no problem with any nationality/race/colour at all as an individual, but when it comes to attraction and dating I just do not feel that physical spark. Its simply not there. Had I grown up differently, surrounded by more variety when it came to race/colour etc maybe that would be different.
 p~s
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 124
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:34:27 PM
Ya, i guess i know what you mean to some extent anyway.
Some people will only ever become aquantinces, but they never really become close while some others become the closest of confidants that we can tell everything to, be ourselves completely with.
I'm guessing you're pretty young if you think another ten years will help lol! It's cool, at least you realize you have other things to think about in life .
 p~s
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 127
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 5/26/2009 7:47:42 PM
Indian men are some of the most handsome men in this world I think but when it comes to dating perhaps ABCD's are a better choice for a western woman.
The reason is I say this is because they have enough of a western upbringing to understand a white girl better culturally and are less likely to have to marry an Indian woman to make their parents happy.
Make sure the Indian man is willing to introduce you to his family ABCD or FOB, this would be the first big test I think.
 JoliBaby
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 128
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 5/28/2009 10:18:29 PM
I have tried to date East Indian men but it has been my experience that while they lust after a black woman (or a woman that looks black...whatevever) they do not want any of there Indian friends to see them with one. Who the hell needs that? I am a sweet, caring, educated woman and I just always found that East Indian questioned my education and wanted to stereotype me. When I tell them I am also Dominican, they say stuff like "You don't look it" as if they do not come in many shades of brown!

One of my close friends, who is also African American had to end things with her man because of his refusal to hold her hand when other East Indians walked by . He didn't want her to meet his family either. What hurts the most is that East Indian men will proudly walk around with a white woman on their arm (just like the brothers) and act as if "we" are not fit to even look at them! Whew!

Now having gotten that all out, I DO NOT think all East Indian men are like that. I am speaking from my experiences. While my preference is Latino males. if I met an Indian man who wasn't ashamed of being with me, I would go for it! I hope you find what you are looking for:)
 stellarmagic
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 129
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:11:21 AM
Though my situation is a bit reversed, I think it is applicable. I myself dated a white male for about 5 years. My family was perfectly okay with it, but his seemed to have a problem. We ended things because his mother felt my "religion" or lack their of was a big problem in their Christian household. I have seen many of my cousins date, and marry women/men of all different ethnicities. My sister married a black male, and though my family was a bit hesistant at first, they now adore him. My male cousins have married women of asian decent, as well a jewish decent. My female cousin recently married a hispanic guy. I am sure we are not the "norm" for Indian families, but you never know unless you try to date someone. Yes, culture dictates we listen to our parents and take their needs into consideration, but ultimatley it is the individuals choice. Basically, America is a big melting pot, and you'll find people of all races with triats you like as well as dislike. So I say, try something if you feel like it and see what happens
 dyinginside11
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 130
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 5/29/2009 12:59:24 PM
What does being part of the major miniority races have to do with anything? You think people hold a prejudice against Indians because there aren't as many of them as there are blacks?

In Ontario, at least the part I live in, there are way more Indian people than blacks. Does that affect who I date? No.
 Straight Christian Lady
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 131
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 5/30/2009 6:06:37 PM
I once had a crush on an East Indian guy whom I thought was sweet and funny.

However, typically I don't have an attraction to their appearance because my preference is for fairer-complexioned men.

Years ago, tho', I was freaked out by the behaviour of a middle-aged Punjab/Pakistani man; not sure which, sorry .. didn't get into his background. I did a bit of work in his picture frame shop. I never got paid for my day because he began to make very un-subtle comments about sex, he was standing between myself and the exit, and all I could think of doing was slowly edging toward the door until I could leave. To my knowledge I had never said/done anything to deserve being hit on. Not only that, I was not too streetwise or people smart.
He yelled something or other at me, dunno .. but I was terrified ~ I thought he would come after me, he was so angry ~ and that experience left me with a lingering mistrust of older men from India. It's unfair, but that's how I felt. I didn't know anything about their traditions or culture so I had no idea what I could have done to provoke him.

I absolutely do not blame *all* East Indian men for that one guy's actions, but to this day I'm less likely to let my guard down until I know them better as human beings.

I do wonder whatever became of my crush, tho'. He had an adorable smile and was so relaxed & happy. HIM I would date.
 Straight Christian Lady
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 132
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 5/31/2009 11:45:08 AM

Did you hear about the story where an Indian man's father had his son's African-American fiance killed?
I myself haven't, but ya that's a valid concern!
Scary.
Two East Indian men were gawking at me last week at a public swim. I realize they're probably just curious because women cover up in their culture, but it was oh-so-icky. I did not remain in the swirlpool for long... guys of any culture/tradition, if you're going to look, at least say 'hi'. Don't just stare. It's rude and unsettling.

I don't mean to go off-topic. I strayed, sorry .. this is about dating. I would not date an East Indian man if he's too entrenched in their ways. If, however, he's used to being here and can stand on his own, there's a chance IF we get along on some fundamental points, have a like sense of humour, and he's easygoing & fun.. like my buddy Marty from years ago.
 maninmke
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 133
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 5/31/2009 1:32:00 PM
Have you heard the story of clergy molesting kids? I am sure you won't take your kids to church either.

Sorry for the shocking analogy, but let me offer my perspective being from another culture, and being Americanized (or say, experienced in multiple cultures).

The case you bring up is something I have heard, and I can even offer cases where East-Indian couple got married, and got into trouble just because they did so against their parents' wishes. The key here is to find out if the person is strong or not. If in a relationship you think the person is strong enough to counter/comfort/convince their parents, I would say go ahead with a relationship.
 stellarmagic
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 134
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 5/31/2009 2:03:12 PM
I have men of different races gauke too. Since I lived in a predominately hipsanic community, I had hispanic men "cat call", or even make sexual advances towards me. Does this shy me away form all hispanic men? No, way. There will be people from all different ethnicities that can irk you, but you cannot generalize. There is a man to man variation.


India has changed very much. Women, are not covered up and docile these days. Just rent any new Bollywood film and you'll see . :)
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 135
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:06:35 PM
Yes, we are not so familar with the culture is true, but there lies the problem with Indian boys hiding things from us to get a girlfriend, if we knew upfront they could not marry us, that the family will not like us or approve of us, would we not even start dating and getting our hearts broken and lives runied. You see I am married to an Indian guy for the past 3 years and have a 2.5 yr old daughter that he has not even seen in person because he has been in India since I was 5 months pregnant arranging his sisters marriages. So, we are not against all Indian people at all. You see we do give chances and then get our hearts broken, there is the problem. I have been struggling to work and take care of my child alone. He has not given me 1 dime for her care. At least if a guy is here in US, there is a good chance for court ordered child support. Anyways, I do not hate anyone or any race, just girls need to be aware of the cultural differences so they can be prepapred and make wise choices for themselves in life.
 luvs_jrny
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 136
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:23:17 PM
indysweetheart:

Unfortunately U met the wrong guy. But I am sure there were some warning signs which U may not have realized. The rule is any person who talks about marriage with some strings attached, must have some other motives. And 99% of the time it is bad as well as hurtful. At this age whenever someone has to take the family's permission must be out of his mind. Sometimes this way they play the game to avoid commitment etc. I hope U don't generalize this from your bad experience.
Also make sure this creep isn't living in US, and I hope U can pursue Child Support through your county etc. I hope U have his social security number etc, so U can track him even he lives in India, as India is a very friendly country to US.
 HarrietSpy
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 137
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:53:57 PM
Don't know about east Indian men... When I lived in Seattle I had a fling with a very sweet electrical engineer whose family lived near Mumbai. I didn't have a problem with his culture he was incredible, but I was in college and he was just in town for a job...
--I'm open to cultural differences, they don't discourage me. I've never been xenophobic. Indian guys can be really cute IMHO
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 138
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:55:05 PM
What do u mean by strings attached? There were none that I know of. Yes, i have a copy of his social security card, old visa, and passport. I have his address in Noida and cell phone number and know where he works there- Radio Mirchi in New Delhi. He makes there what equates to 550.00 us dollars a month, do not think that will do much for Mia's expenses in the US. He is younger than me, but is also immature for his age. well see what happens. He did apply to an H1B Visa April 2007 which was just denied after 2 years in March. He says if he comes on a visa thru me, his family will know and then never talk to him again and kick him out and he will not be able to ever return to India. His parents are very traditional and he is the only son. He owes $50,000 in student loans for his MBA to an Indian bank, not sure how he could ever pay that back making 550 a month in India, so your correct in thinking he may leave there. I will see if I can attach a picture of Mia, so you can see what happens when East meets West. Lol
 luvs_jrny
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 139
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 10:16:23 PM
indysweetheart:
Whenever someone brings up topics such as my Visa is about to expire, or I am getting laid off, or I have some financial problems etc, it implies bad motives. I dated a white lady who later told me her financial problems repeatedly, and it didn't work out with me. Lots of Indians seem to me are very sensitive to their parents opinion. But in my mind it is me who decided my marriage to a very attractive tall, slim Indian lady who grew up in US. I am now divorced after a very long marriage, and it is very hard now for me to do dating. My son also dated white ladies here in US and I don't have any issues with it. He is a goodlooking tall boy born and raised here with western secular values. He is very curious to find why lots of white girls are attracted to him as compared to me.
Also dating men younger than your age has challenges. Mostly those men look for some intimate time and fun. You can learn from your experiences and be careful for the future.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 140
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 1:37:15 AM
I think maybe in twenties there is a larger dating pool, maybe is why more interest for your son. When you reach forty there is smaller and smaller dating pool as more people are married at this age.
 igora_soma
Joined: 5/15/2009
Msg: 141
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 10:54:34 AM
I'm a big fan of Indian men :) I'm a white American woman living in London. I think if I had stayed in the US my interest wouldn't be as developed as it is now. If I move to the US I will still be interested. I think it's all down to personal interests! Or else a lack of exposure. Good things come to those who wait!
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