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 stellarmagic
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 134
Dating East Indian MenPage 9 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I have men of different races gauke too. Since I lived in a predominately hipsanic community, I had hispanic men "cat call", or even make sexual advances towards me. Does this shy me away form all hispanic men? No, way. There will be people from all different ethnicities that can irk you, but you cannot generalize. There is a man to man variation.


India has changed very much. Women, are not covered up and docile these days. Just rent any new Bollywood film and you'll see . :)
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 135
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:06:35 PM
Yes, we are not so familar with the culture is true, but there lies the problem with Indian boys hiding things from us to get a girlfriend, if we knew upfront they could not marry us, that the family will not like us or approve of us, would we not even start dating and getting our hearts broken and lives runied. You see I am married to an Indian guy for the past 3 years and have a 2.5 yr old daughter that he has not even seen in person because he has been in India since I was 5 months pregnant arranging his sisters marriages. So, we are not against all Indian people at all. You see we do give chances and then get our hearts broken, there is the problem. I have been struggling to work and take care of my child alone. He has not given me 1 dime for her care. At least if a guy is here in US, there is a good chance for court ordered child support. Anyways, I do not hate anyone or any race, just girls need to be aware of the cultural differences so they can be prepapred and make wise choices for themselves in life.
 luvs_jrny
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 136
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:23:17 PM
indysweetheart:

Unfortunately U met the wrong guy. But I am sure there were some warning signs which U may not have realized. The rule is any person who talks about marriage with some strings attached, must have some other motives. And 99% of the time it is bad as well as hurtful. At this age whenever someone has to take the family's permission must be out of his mind. Sometimes this way they play the game to avoid commitment etc. I hope U don't generalize this from your bad experience.
Also make sure this creep isn't living in US, and I hope U can pursue Child Support through your county etc. I hope U have his social security number etc, so U can track him even he lives in India, as India is a very friendly country to US.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 138
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 5:55:05 PM
What do u mean by strings attached? There were none that I know of. Yes, i have a copy of his social security card, old visa, and passport. I have his address in Noida and cell phone number and know where he works there- Radio Mirchi in New Delhi. He makes there what equates to 550.00 us dollars a month, do not think that will do much for Mia's expenses in the US. He is younger than me, but is also immature for his age. well see what happens. He did apply to an H1B Visa April 2007 which was just denied after 2 years in March. He says if he comes on a visa thru me, his family will know and then never talk to him again and kick him out and he will not be able to ever return to India. His parents are very traditional and he is the only son. He owes $50,000 in student loans for his MBA to an Indian bank, not sure how he could ever pay that back making 550 a month in India, so your correct in thinking he may leave there. I will see if I can attach a picture of Mia, so you can see what happens when East meets West. Lol
 luvs_jrny
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 139
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/1/2009 10:16:23 PM
indysweetheart:
Whenever someone brings up topics such as my Visa is about to expire, or I am getting laid off, or I have some financial problems etc, it implies bad motives. I dated a white lady who later told me her financial problems repeatedly, and it didn't work out with me. Lots of Indians seem to me are very sensitive to their parents opinion. But in my mind it is me who decided my marriage to a very attractive tall, slim Indian lady who grew up in US. I am now divorced after a very long marriage, and it is very hard now for me to do dating. My son also dated white ladies here in US and I don't have any issues with it. He is a goodlooking tall boy born and raised here with western secular values. He is very curious to find why lots of white girls are attracted to him as compared to me.
Also dating men younger than your age has challenges. Mostly those men look for some intimate time and fun. You can learn from your experiences and be careful for the future.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 140
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 1:37:15 AM
I think maybe in twenties there is a larger dating pool, maybe is why more interest for your son. When you reach forty there is smaller and smaller dating pool as more people are married at this age.
 luvs_jrny
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 145
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 4:05:05 PM
When a slim, tall, attractive white lady has lots of white male friends, it's very obvious she won't be interested for Indian males. Education etc matters nothing, only thing matters is the look and feel of the same race people. And also via Internet no such lady will be interested for any Indian male for sure. If they see each other at work or so then something might spark, although very unlikely.
POF being a free site usually women in general has a Very High unrealistic expectations over here and may like to wait for their lifetime to find someone. They also forget that looks fade with time and age but dumb is forever. Also the male2female ratio is very high. On top of that younger males as compared to the females are very important for 37+ women. As dating an younger male as low as 20 or so make them feel back to that lost age. When all these negatives work internet dating for Indian males becomes unpossible. Also women in the California area are more open to date other than white males as they are grown up that way seeing others, whereas in the east coast women don't have such mindset. any 40+ Indian males should know that if U show interest to white women your first contact message will be deleted sometimes unread also. Sometimes women reply saying it's not a match. For this reason a dating preference option in the Profile would make life easier for all. Match.com has such option.
 luvs_jrny
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 146
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/2/2009 4:44:55 PM
queensgirl09:
What U said is your own personal experience. And what U said about the way Indian ladies dress is also your personal findings. When I was a married person I never imposed dress code, my view is "Go with the flow" or "As the country goes so are the customs". Most of the Indians are happily married in US and that's why it's not easy to find around 40+ single indian males/females, i.e supply is extremely limited as compared to white or the predominant people. So when an Indian male/female becomes Single he/she has to be realistic to find someone for dating to see a relationship is possible or not. I also think that some Indian males/females might be fascinated with white females/males. In US I hope we would be able to make that individual choice. Best thing is to go for the mind because it is the mind which keeps the relationship. Usually when people only think about the Physical Attraction, wining and dining, sooner or later they find the charm has ended.
 stellarmagic
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 149
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/4/2009 12:02:24 AM
[I used to work with an indian woman and I heared that she was talking behind my back. She said she didn't like the way I dress. And I always caught her looking at me like checking out what I was wearing. She always wear long sleeve top like all covered. I heard that once they are married they are not allowed to wear something that exposed their arms, chest, back, or legs. ]

Really? That is not true at all. Both my sisters are married, and they can wear whatever they feel like it. Some traditional clothes, such as the sari, reveals quit a bit (mostly stomach area). I am sure there are women who are not allowed to, but again you are generalizing. Come on, we do have the Kama Sutra here :).


As far as the two types of girls shown in movies, well, maybe in some movies. However, the "item" girl is now the main actress. Sure, we as a culture do value women who cover up to a certain extent, but times are chaning. There is so many variation of Indian people. All Indian people do not share the same culture, food, religion, or language. India is a huge country, with various cultures mixed into one. Yes, there is certain similarities between most Indian "cultures", but there is similarites between all cultures and religions.

Again, you cannot judge a whole group of people based on a few interactions. People in all religions, races, cultures, nationalities, etc are not all the same.

If you do not have a physical attraction towards Indian men, sure don't date them. But don't prevent yourself from dating an "East Indian Man" because of sterotypical notions. He may be an ***hole, sure, but he also may turn out to be the best thing ever.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 151
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 10:34:24 AM
Regarding this comment-
well, let me clear some air first..All of indians you people dated are those who are not having higher degrees



Very wrong my friend Prashant has a Masters degree from a school In USA. All of his sisters also hold a Masters degree. As for only marring a girl your parents like? Whose life is it? They had their choice to make in love and marriage, now its yours. Any parent who loved you would also not want to see you hurt by not liking your choice.
 NTHSENSE
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 152
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:47:03 PM
Lol, I was just going to post about this, but from a more "scientific" angle.

I've been on the site for a month or so and as a curious and scientific minded person i've started analyzing a few things about the "demographics" of girls showing any level of interest in me. By looking at who's viewed my profile (which may indicate interest but not necessarily) to who has sent me messages (which definitely shows "some" level interest), I've realized that race/ethnicity is by far, the most similar shared characteristic between those women.

Like the OP, I'm East Indian and I live in a predominately white community, yet the overwhelming number of women sending me messages, viewing my profile are of an east indian background....which I guess shouldn't be that surprising but it is kind of odd. I've only dated indian and black/mixed women, and that just seems odd, given the demographic of the neighborhood i reside in (overwhemingly white). it's not that i want to date white women, i'm just interested in WHY there's basically no attention from them yet much more from a smaller minority (in terms of POF's overall membership).

all of this leads me to several questions on the topic:

how much does race/ethnicity play a role in attraction?

what role does the media and other external factors play in how women of other races' perceive you?

are women less likely to "look" outside of their race than men?

am i intrinsically less attractive to other women than i am to women coming from a similar racial background?
 NTHSENSE
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 153
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/14/2009 12:49:56 PM
obviously this is just about "attraction" on a superficial level, but it's fascinating to me. i'm such a numbers/patterns nerd.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 156
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:54:11 PM
Hmm and you think that beacuse my skin is white that I do not love and respect my parenta as much as you do? Very big misconception, I talk to my parents almost everyday and value their viewpoints on any decisions that I make in life, but the difference there is my family would never stop treating me like their daughter if I made a decision they do not like.
 Indysweetpea2001_
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 160
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:21:12 PM
My parents with a big decision like marriage express their views also, they also think I am an intelligent adult and will tell me what they think and say the decision is mine to make. When I told my parents Prashant asked me to marry him, my parents said great when can we meet him? When they met Prashant they hugged him and welcomed him and said to me later he seems to really love you and is very sincere. Prashant's parents on the other hand said to him when he asked what if he married a lady from USA, his mother said- How can I live without my only son? No we do not want that. Never asked can we meet her, what is she like, ect. I do not know you or your family, but I can go only on my own personal experience and to other women's experiences. I also have a friend who is married to an Indian guy and they lived toghter for 5 years and he took her to India with him to his sisters wedding and said she is a coworker. They loved her and his mom told her that she feels like she is her daughter. When Sachin told them he wants to marry her a year or so later, all hell broke loose. Told him to immediately break it off with her, told his friends to get him away from her. lHe ended up marrying her and they have a baby girl now. He went to India to visit, bought them a new car. Then he told them he had gotten married and they yelled for hours and said they dont beleive him and he left next day back home . Since then- Nov 2008 they have not spoken to him. Anyways what Im saying is these things do happen and women need to know that the culture is completely differnt before dating a man born in India.
 krisninatlanta
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 165
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:41:48 AM
I have been asked out by quite a few indian guys.. I think because i tend to hang out at the library computer lab too much(lol) but i exclusively dated one for some time.He was quite older but was childless and had never been married srilankan guy. He was awesome, intelligent (i love nerds and he was ONE) and he was very expressive and sensitive to my feelings. He definitely could pick on my energy, and he was a very kindred soul. We were both pretty quiet, non confrontational, and affectionate. Needless to say it ended because his parents whom lived in the UK got sick and he wanted me to just pack up everything, and go with him to get married...in my life at that time i couldnt, but now since im older i do regret not taking the chance....but he was a great guy plus he loved me for who i was and didnt ever try to change me.
 sweetmystery151
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 171
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 8/8/2011 12:51:42 PM
I think most women won't date east indian men. Not because they are not a major minority race, because in Vancouver they are THE major minority. But because they have a very bad reputation. Surrey and Abbotsford have the highest domestic crime rates in the area, AND highest east indian populations. This is because so many beat their significant others. It's in the paper daily. One just hacked his wife to death with an axe at her workplace. Another set his pregnant wife on fire. In my experience most of them have a drinking problem and when they drink they are violent. Groups of males aren't welcome in many establishments like night clubs because they start fights.

So to answer your question, I would NOT date an east indian male (I also do not find them physically attractive). I don't know anyone who would, not even east indian women. Many of the guys actually go back to India to find wives because Canadian girls won't go near them.
 IamTheWalrus11
Joined: 12/28/2011
Msg: 174
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 1/20/2012 5:27:14 PM
I don't get it what has race got to do with dating men? I'm an East-Indian man and I'm not born and brought up in America, I don't care about the caste system, well groomed, not a criminal, surely won't marry a girl my parents ask me to, surely know how to treat women, don't own a convenience store. Don't know where these stereotypes come from. I do have an accent and like to cook curry though.
 quarked
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 175
view profile
History
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 1/23/2012 3:52:25 PM
Anecdotal evidence, but most of the Indian guys I know are fairly progressive, polite, handsome, and well-dressed. Not to mention, they're in good careers or career paths (graduate and medical school, mostly).
 Me_at_PoF
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 176
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 2/10/2012 1:46:10 AM
Who cares what non-Indian people think about India or Indians, reality is far different from your perception. (Just watch any of the recent bollywood movie and you will see the change. Don't just count on the lies of media who prints all but negative things, not a single positive thing. Or better visit any of the metros in India and trust your eyes.)
 kim2015
Joined: 3/4/2012
Msg: 177
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/31/2012 8:13:26 PM
There are good and bad in every race. My only experience dating a man from India wasn't that great....but why discount an entire race based on one experience, right?
 moutainbreeze
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 178
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 3/31/2012 8:50:59 PM
All I can say is be careful! Make sure the guy has an understanding of American culture and that he does not expect you to be a traditional wife. I have a friend who let her parents arrange a marriage. She is a second generation American and was working on her masters (she's Punjab). He was a working class fellow. He assaulted her and dshe finally realized that "either she was going to kill him or he was going to kill her." She filed for divorce and moved back in with her parents. Her culture is ery important to her; but the last time i spoke with her she was looking at dating white men. Why? Because the cultural issues were just too dire. She would never recluse herself to being a "traditional Indian wife." Another friend of mine is Brahma caste, so she and her husband (again arranged marraige) were both accustomed to being cared for by servants. Both have great jobs and they have a comfortable living. But she makes sure her husband knows that the home is HER place to make decisions and the outside stuff is his. They get along beautifully. But again, they are bot first generation Americans (both immergrated) and when her hubby started feeling the stress of it and the pressure from his family to move back to India, she stepped up and said NO WAY BUSTER!! She was not going to raise her kids there. She wanted the American lifestyle. Her husband is a wonderful man however, so he was not makign it an issue (his family was, they wanted him to return and run their business). So you have to look at a lot of factors.

I have Indian men (first generation... usually Hindis) who think American women are what they want. But in fact, they would not be happy with me!! I am too headstrong (very much like my first friend I mentioned). So my answer is no. But culturally many push and push because they think they can win my heart. Finally I cannot even be friends with them!

Besides, many Indian men are too skinny for my taste. And they do not want to hear that. Except the Sikh men, they're ususally pretty good looking.. but then there are the religious differences and well.. that bloody beard! (yeah go find a grizzly bear to kiss why don't cha?) LOL!

Anyway.... get to know the guy and be really frank about your goals and who you are. Some thing, especially major disagreements in gender roles will destroy any relationship in the long run. If you are educated, a higher caste man, or at least a man who is educated himself will be best. Just realize, if you are lower caste than him, it will be a nightmare for you with his family, unless they've left that stupid crap behind in India!!! And if you are higher caste and he resents it, then you will just have to do with the "insecure man" drama! YECH!!! Run screaming from that sister! Anyway, great luck to you! There are a lot of decent Indian men in the USA.... it is the problem only that their family may be a bit too involved... too many Indian men act like mama's boys. They change their opinion of who they love and want because their family feels this way or that. If a man cannot have his own opiinion and stand by it, to me he is not worth being with. You find one who isn't and has his own opinions, yet understand that you want more than just to be the "cook and cleaning lady who has his kids" and can cut the skirt strings, then go for it! If he's in the USA, he's got a high liklihood of being intelligent and competent and having pretty good morals!
 88jason
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 179
view profile
History
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 1/2/2013 6:22:08 PM
Wow. lol now that's what I call a hardcore generalization.
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 180
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 1/2/2013 6:31:36 PM
I have dated an east indian man one time b4. And I have to say I would never date another east indian guy again.

It has nothing to do with the fact that we're a minority. It has to do with how east indian men are labelled. I have heard from many friends that they drink like a fish, are a problematic guys in the sense they like to cause fights.

Majority of the guys I have met in my life who were of east indian decent, fit in that catergory. So I can say that i would never date them again.

But to each their own!
 jamlex
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 181
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 1/26/2013 4:19:35 PM
your a loser that thinks you know 'culture.' fix your ****ing redlight district 'minded' women first. what the **** do you know about india or the culture of subcontinent? its a superior culture to yours when it comes to marriage retention, raising kids intellectually, caring for extended family... i can go on. your one of those jackasses that reads off the headlines of the news and conjure up your own opinion. go date your own women( whores in most cases)
 ScientificExperiment
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 182
Dating East Indian Men
Posted: 1/26/2013 8:34:05 PM
Jamex. I don't put people into categories. It seems you do though. You do not help the reputation of your culture when you claim to be superior (in marriage retention, raising kids intellectually, caring for extended family) When you add in you think women outside your culture are whores I most cases, wow. You just fit the stereotype of the angry and sexist man. Way to go. Was there really a reason for talking like that?
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