|Separate Bedrooms....?Page 5 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)|
|i love my own bed. i always hated sharing a bed with someone. plus, the cats always insist on sleeping with me.|
so, i'd like to keep the options opened with a pair of double beds. i think that's more than fair.
Posted: 11/8/2006 1:00:30 PM
|It's not a new trend.. it has been happening for many years.. and in the 50's and early 60's it was the "trend" then also lol.. nothing new under the sun.. just recycled ideas put into present use.. hehe...|
Happy fishing everyone!
Posted: 11/10/2006 7:42:24 AM
Only people I know of who do this are elderly folks. And I don't see a problem at this point, since they're probably not doing a whole lot together in bed besides sleeping. And at that age you can have enough problems just sleeping, let alone having all the disturbances you can get from the other person.
Good God, I hope I am doing other things besides sleeping way into my elderly stage. I shudder to think my sex life would be over...
As for younger people...sounds pretty silly to me. I've had enough of sleeping alone being single.
Actually humans can adjust to anything, so actually the longer you're single the more used to it and comfortable you should be. The rest is all in your head. It's ok to vaguely look back and say "yeah it was great to sleep with someone else here", but in the end, again, once you're asleep, you're asleep. You don't really know the difference when unconscious unless you are an extremely light sleeper, in which case you don't sleep much anyway.
Once you start sleeping with someone there after years of being single, it's the same thing...another adjustment you have to get used to.
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:07:29 PM
Well, lets just hope you don't break a hip doing it. Yours OR his.
That's ok, I will probably break one anyway if I stop working out and taking my supplements, I would rather break one due to rough sex. It beats breaking one falling on stairs or something. LOL
And I'm not quite sure what your point was about the being able to adjust to anything. That would be more of an argument for NOT sleeping in other rooms...just tough it out and soon even the loudest snorer will be like the bedroom fan, the ticking clock, the traffic, or whatever other noises you've gotten used to over the years.
I said that because I have heard people talk about not being able to sleep alone so much. We sleep alone the first like I don't know at least 16 years of our lives. We all know how to do it. Some say they can't do it alone - but what they mean is they don't want to. Naturally we all adjust to sleeping alone, so to say you can't do it by yourself is sort of, I don't know - silly. It might be hard after a divorce or breakup for a couple months or so, but after that you adjust.
And not knowing who's there while you're asleep, not sure where you're going with that. That's like saying I don't NEED someone sitting on the couch next to me to cuddle with while watching a movie. It doesn't change the outcome of the movie. But I still prefer it. Not sleeping in the same bed with my wife I would miss holding each other until we nod off to sleep, waking up with her head on my chest, or just simply getting up in the morning with the person I love the most lying there next to me. And of course, doing all the other more active things that couples do in bed. Sure, sleeping in separate rooms you can "plan outings" to the other person's room, but that kind of rules out the spontaneous. It just doesn't make any sense to me why a husband and wife wouldn't want to sleep together.
I agree that you have to be spontaneous, and that the bedroom would be there more for a break or relief than an every night thing, but some couples are better off doing the sleeping in separate rooms. Everyone's different - I would rather watch the movie and cuddle later. You got me on the wife thing, what can I say I don't get the whole marriage thing so I can't relate, but I agree that it's nice to fall asleep with someone there, and wake up with someone there (at times) but in between you're asleep. They could leave you to sleep for 6 hours and come back - how would you know? I was just addressing anyone who thinks it affects their actual sleeping pattern positively to have someone there.
Posted: 11/11/2006 11:03:50 PM
|I think its a recipe for disaster. I did it with my ex, started out because he snores extremely loud every night. Then things sort of fell apart. I wonder if part of it was due to the lack of connection we had from seperate bedroom sleeping. I think sleeping is a very good way to be close to someone on a very real, intimate, affectionate, natural way. My current hun is the best bed partner, he sleeps quiet, cuddles lots, doesnt hog the blankets. Its awesome not having to sleep alone.|
Posted: 11/12/2006 7:09:24 AM
|I like it and I have done this before. I lived with a man for a short period of time and we had seperate rooms, mostly bacuase I am a light sleeper and he could snore so loud the walls would shake and he was a very sweaty sleeper. (gross) While the relationship was doomed from the beginning, it was the best thing for both of us. I agree with this idea, you need to have seperate space in a relationship. And sometimes you just need to sleep alone. A man that I know well has been married of 65 years and he tells their secret is space in the relationship, their own space in the homes (he had a workroom and she had her space). I read an article about sleep and who is more grumpy in the morning - women were more gumpy for longer and they blamed it on the men they shared their bed with.|
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:02:13 AM
I agree with some posters above ...
People on here need to say the ideal romantic thing....they are in the single and looking ideal mode and want to sound like the perfect romantic potential mate ...but if you have been in a very long term relationship ....hopefully you are more down to earth.
Ideally you sleep like babies together ..but if you don't because of various reasons then you make it work ....do what you need to do so that you both are happy and not half zonked from lack of sleep ......maybe you are on different schedules because of work ....maybe you love sleeping with the whole bed to yourself ....like it has been said there are always as many visits as you like ...maybe you sleep in the same bed some nights ....it is all about making it work and as everyone knows from reality it takes alot of accomadating or else you end up a statistic and not a couple .
Posted: 12/30/2006 11:32:09 AM
|Got to have my space but on intimacy nights we would be together and afterwards I would go to my room for sleep.|
Posted: 4/25/2007 4:50:57 AM
|serparate or same bedroom hearing or deaf guy who is snoring doesnt bothering me because i can not hear him always lucky that i sleep good all the times in the same bed with him lol|
Posted: 4/26/2007 3:55:36 PM
Msg: 8 -- Sleeping alone is one of the worst parts of being single.
My sentiments exactly. If one chooses to sleep alone, perhaps one should consider a life as a hermit.
Posted: 4/26/2007 5:19:13 PM
|i for one am inclined to agree with the trend of seperate bedrooms. i'm just one of those people that likes to spread out when i sleep and i've been told i breathe wierd when i'm asleep... but i'm an asthmatic so the answer to that is get over it and give me the extra pillow! |
my great aunt and uncle had seperate bedrooms for years. never had any problems and got on fine. i think its good to havbe your own little sanctum that you can escape to, even if its only to do lady things!
ah i sound way to set in my ways!
to close, if the relationship can get over not having the ability to straddle your partner while in unconscience then by all means go for it!
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:02:27 PM
|My parents slept in separate beds for the last decade or so of their marriage (until dad died) because his snoring kept her awake and her tossing and turning kept waking him up.|
I also have a friend whose wife not only makes him sleep in a separate bed, it has to be on a different floor and on the other side of the house because his snoring is so loud.
Me, snoring doesn't bother me. And I can't imagine separate beds, never mind separate bedrooms. Get together only for sex? What about cuddling? Nothing better than falling asleep cuddled up together and waking up and feeling your lover beside you. Especially if both parties lead busy lives and don't get much time together during the day, that cuddling maintains the closeness they don't have the rest of the time.
King size bed, that's my plan. As has been mentioned, plenty of room to retreat to your separate corners as necessary. lol
Sure, from time to time when one is having problems sleeping, or is sick, or whatever, it's a good idea to have a separate bedroom available, but I just can't imagine WANTING to sleep in separate rooms every night. That's not being in a relationship, that's having a roommate that you have sex with from time to time.
Posted: 4/30/2007 3:29:55 AM
|We're very happy.... and always have slept in separate bedrooms.|
Well.. when we first started living together we tried to share a bed for about a month. The result was neither one of us got a decent night's sleep for about a month.
His snoring could wake the dead. I grind my teeth.
He likes it about 50 degrees and no blankies. I like it about 100 degrees and lots of blankies. He's an early morning person and is up at 5 am. I'm a night owl and sometimes don't go to bed until 5 am
He likes to read in bed. I don't.
our solution? separate bedrooms.
Nonetheless, I look forward to his 'wake-up calls' LOL
Posted: 4/30/2007 4:30:01 AM
|no steph your not dreaming . THAT is what I want also . yes , I snore in my sleep . I wnat to cuddle with my woman . we go to bed and wake up in the morning with each other . I am 40 and it loks liek I will not be having someone to cuddle with . I live in wisconsin|
Posted: 4/30/2007 6:09:53 AM
|My grandparents were married for 56 years before my grandfather passed. They slept in seperate beds from day one as my granny snored like a train. Both of them said that the seperate beds kept them together. Grandpa used to like read in bed and he didn't have to worry about keeping granny awake. |
I think if it keeps both people sane there is nothing wrong with it.
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:59:00 AM
|My French lady teacher was adamant about the benefits the separate bedrooms bring into a relationship. She justified her opinion with one's endless and non-interrupted snoring ~ farting ~ kicking and even talking while asleep ... |
I have always kept my reservation about this delicate topic. I know, one can sneak for intermezzo and then retreat but in such a scenario is there a room for someone who doesn't have enough of hugs, who cherishes closeness and spooning while entering the Land of Nod? I don't think so. "Quarantine room", while one is seriously poorly, might be another story.
Posted: 9/17/2007 8:10:56 AM
|Might be one of the reason I have been single for so long. Seperate bedrooms are a requirement for me!!!!|
Posted: 9/17/2007 9:27:55 AM
|My ex and I lived like that for TEN long years. We even had a house with two master bedrooms in it. One huge one downstairs, and one that was a little smaller upstairs. I will NEVER make that mistake again.|
As I neared 40 years of age, I had what I THOUGHT was a "midlife crisis". I began to look around and thought to myself - well - I have everything a man could want. I had a thriving business, made great money, had the big house in the country club with a movie theater, two bars, a billiard room, and a gym, etc, in it. My master bath was about the size of my first apartment, but had a cathedral ceiling with recessed lighting. I had a brand new Hummer in the drive, very little debt, a great wife, two fairly exclusive hunting club memberships, and my kid in the best private school around. We bought nice things, took vacations to Europe or South America, Alaska, Disney, etc. , etc. But I kept on asking myself - "Ok - so I have it all, but then, why am I not happy?"
I honestly thought I had some sort of weird existential angst going on - I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Well, it took me a couple of years, and finally a divorce, to finally sort it all out. I didn't have "existential angst" - my life was great! Who wouldn't want that life? lol! I was just plain LONELY! lol My marriage just SUCKED! That's no way to live!. My ex and I had become little more than business partners. We'd grown so far apart over the years I couldn't even SEE it, and sleeping apart all those years was a MAJOR reason.
After our divorce was finalized, my ex admitted to me that she'd wanted out of the marriage for years. She stayed because she didn't want to "loose her lifestyle". Having her own little master bedroom upstairs made that very easy do to. Had that not been the case, we would probably have split years earlier. While I suppose on some level it's good for my daughter that we didn't - I would still never want to live like that again.
Posted: 9/27/2007 9:49:50 AM
|Humm, I'm not sure about that, maybe if I'm sick and I dont want the other person getting it|
Posted: 9/27/2007 11:17:09 AM
|I can't say that I like it - but I can certainly understand it. I know someone that snores like a grizzly bear - there's no way you could sleep next to that - so their spouse would prolly have to have a separate room. But that's sad - I think you'd miss out on so much closeness by doing that - but you've got to sleep to function......|
Posted: 11/6/2007 7:00:03 PM
|Lately I have been going back and forth on this one. I have to admit being along for so long I do miss having someone next to me at night. That said there are times when I miss sleeping next to someone and then there are times I want the whole bed to myself.|
Posted: 3/26/2008 1:33:58 PM
|"It has always been my belief that once entered into a marriage, separate HOMES are a must. This is how I will conduct my future not-likely-to-occur union."|
That really isn't such a bad idea. I wish more women thought like you.
Posted: 4/5/2008 3:10:23 PM
|As much as I admit that I would dearly LOVE to have my Man laying next to me every night, it's just not meant to be. We tried sharing a bed for the first six weeks we lived together, and neither one of us got a decent nights sleep.|
He is up at 5 am every morning-- some nights I don't go to bed until 3 am. He goes to sleep by 11 pm at the latest, when I'm at my finest and ready to rock n roll. He likes it about 55º and no blankets-- I like it about 70º and lots of blankets. I roll around a lot in my sleep and have been known to whack him pretty good on the few occasions when we do have to share a bed. He snores ( but it's not that bad!!! ).. I grind my teeth.
While I'll admit to missing out on that cuddling and intimacy that sharing a bed can involve, we have a strong, affectionate, and loving relationship... and I look forward to my morning " wake-up calls"