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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?      Home login  
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 RJ69
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 26
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
If someone doesn't want to talk on the phone I'd say that's a pretty clear indication of "not interested". The reasons for that could be anything and are irrelevant. Accept it; not interested = not interested; just move on.

I think it goes too far to generalize about insecurities, gender, and what not. I do not give out my phone number quickly or easily. I am male, and I do not consider myself crippingly insecure or as having "issues".
 kame
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 27
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/11/2006 4:58:47 AM
I get this alot from guys on here..after like 2 emails or so they want to start phone conversations...intell I get to know him a bit threw emails and feel comfortatable enough with him ..I dont like doing it.Its alot easyer to communicate with someone threw mailings then being thrust on the phone with a stranger and trying to think of stuff to talk about.
 allclass2
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 28
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:15:42 AM
I do like to talk on the phone, I want to hear your voice. I don't mind phone calls, but have found that often,men just want to try to phone sex me, and THAT I find objectionable, so perhaps the women you are talking to are a little leery of that.
 ononotagain
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 29
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:26:35 AM
I even suggested that they block thier number and call me. I think they are arfraid and for good causem there are some nuts on here ruining for the rest of us.
 ononotagain
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 30
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:28:56 AM
Yeah I dont get the phone sex thing! LOL Some Guys are tards for sure
 Mominatrix
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 31
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Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/13/2006 9:25:47 AM
Depends on the phone call. The second it degenerates into "What are you wearing?" I am finding some really important household chore to complete. I know this totally surprises some of the men here, but yes, some men will try to either get you to participate in phone sex or worse, try to exact promises that you will have sex with them before you have even met them in person. I am terribly sorry you have to pay for the rude and crass behaviour of other men, but look for threads on women being gold diggers and see what we get accused of.

I don't normally give out my number, I have to really like you for you to get it. If a guy wants to give me their number I will *67 and call them. I have kids living with me, and have experienced a stalker who would call and tell my kids horrible things, finally requiring me to get a restraining order.

It's not paranoia, it's a reasonable precaution. There is absolutely not one thing wrong with having personal boundaries and I refuse to apologize for being reasonable.
 Hey Mikey! He likes it
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 32
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/13/2006 9:44:02 AM
"If a guy wants to give me their number I will *67 and call them."

I've seen on other posts that calls like this which are *67 can be traced to find out the person's real number is this true?
 earthangel5760
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 33
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/13/2006 9:47:55 AM
I am one who likes to email for a bit but then talk on the phone. I do not want and email pal or a phone friend I want to date. I don't want to waste my time or energy on a "fantasy date or guy". And guys please offer your number first if you are interested in a woman. Just my 2 cents.
 deathwatch
Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 34
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/13/2006 9:53:45 AM
I'm not paranoid; I have two reasons for avoiding phone calls. The first is that sometimes calls go really poorly (in email you can consider your responses, reread something, etc.) and then it's really awkward to say "Uh, I the plumber is here, I gotta go" or "Whoops, oven timer just went off." I find phone calls somewhat intrusive/combative even. The second one is my lack of will power. Last time I called a guy I'd been emailing, we talked until 3:30 in the morning (and hung up only because his phone died)....my phone call record is 13 hours, and I've done 7-8 quite a few times. It means that the next day I am not highly functional!
 kiandra
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 35
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/13/2006 9:55:11 AM
I will give out my number after a few chats. But I give out my cell phone number. Which is sent to a P. O. Box. And is listed under a friends name. I don't want to wait weeks and weeks. There is this thing called Caller ID. There is also the No Thanks - Goodbye, and then hang up. I want to hear your voice and listen to what you say. Then I ask those questions where you don't have time to think about the right answer. Chats are a good way to break the ice, but are so impersonal.
 kanpeaches
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 36
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/13/2006 9:57:12 AM
I like to get to the phone call as soon as possible. After experience, I have learned that you can chat for a week online and then with that first telephone call realize it will never go anywhere because either they cannot string a complete sentence together without a computer or otherwise the speech mannerisms leave a lot to be desired.
 deathwatch
Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 37
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/13/2006 10:02:36 AM
not wanting to talk on the phone does NOT in my case mean not interested; I'm a whore for email and have many times gone right from e-mail to meet-in-person, skipping phone altogether. I don't like the phone thing (I hate cell phones in particular). I don't answer my phone at home anyway so you'd always get the singing voice mail. I also find that most guys aren't that good on the phone; I'd rather see/smell them. I've emailed someone for two weeks before meeting....I don't think phone matters. In fact, even while dating a guy for 9 months, I never liked talking to him on the phone. Email was great, in person was good...phone bad.
 deathwatch
Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 38
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/13/2006 10:03:52 AM
oh, I love talking about sex on the phone.....you can establish right away what you like and don't like (although I spent 8 hours doing that with a guy on the phone and then when we were finally naked together it didn't work)....
 morgus
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 39
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 11/13/2006 3:59:12 PM
i offer my number sometimes to show im single....i give my home phone and cell.....lets her choose when or even if she wants to call....besides, in BC (before computers) all we had was the phone.
 JulietJuliet
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 40
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 12/5/2006 2:57:58 AM
I have an unlisted number and I am silent on the electoral role as well for a reason, so giving out my number willy nilly is not an option for me. Not everyone feels comfortable about giving out their phone number, especially when other alternatives are available ie ....MSN.
 ~LoriMac~
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 41
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 12/6/2006 1:08:54 AM
hmmm wierd...i dont know what to say...its never been an issue for me...most people I have met are willing to actually get out to a POF event...so I dont have to deal with that. I dont see the big deal with giving out my cell number...takes a while to get my home address or phone number though...there are just alot of wierdos around and I have to protect my daughter first and foremost.Cell phone seems a good middle ground too.
 browneyedstallion
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 42
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 1/27/2007 3:42:52 AM
I have noticed that after talking through email messages or emails that upon suggesting we talk on the phone I get immediately disregarded. Honestly, no more messages or contact of any kind. This has happened a few times and only after it seemed like the next logical step in getting to know the person better. Not sure what to make of that experience, I'm getting frustrated with getting started and then getting ignored all of a sudden.
thanks for the feedback,
-Extro


I've had the complete opposite experience. Several women I've chatted with want to go directly to the phone. I had one take off because I wouldn't give her my number. We only exchanged two e-mails and she said she was tired of e-mailing men back and forth and could tell a lot more over the phone. She came off kind of pushy and when I told her I would prefer chatting online a little more first she never contacted me again. I had one girl IM me and within a few exchanges she gave me her number. I called her and she immediately tried to get me to come meet her at a bar that night. When I told her I couldn't meet her that night I never heard from her again. The reason I'm running into this is probably because some of these women have been doing online dating for quite some time and want to just cut to the chase. They seem adventurous and carefree about it. I'm new to this so I like to chat online awhile before giving my number out and running out to meet someone.

I've encountered a couple of them who've suggested meeting within a day or two of our first contact. I guess the longer people have been doing this the more impatient they get. I haven't run into this problem with the women that are new to online dating, it's just been with the veteran crowd.
 chikkygit
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 43
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/29/2007 10:47:36 PM
One can't tell time wasters just by not giving out phone numbers. I agree with the ladies I want give out my phone number till I'm absolutely comfortable with a person from chats. My next step from chats here is msn. Then see about swapping phone numbers for meeting for coffee.
That seems to work for me..I find some guys move too fast.
 charliemcsd
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 44
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Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 6:12:36 AM

I'm getting frustrated with getting started and then getting ignored all of a sudden.

Probably because the women you are emailing with are not serious about finding someone to date. They enjoy the emailing and attention.
If a woman I am emailing with, does not want to talk on the phone after, say, a week of emails, say one per day... then I just delete her. I am not here to waste time or feed into someone's fantasy.
 charliemcsd
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 45
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Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:29:09 AM

Yeah yeah........call me shallow.........lol


I will not call you shallow. What is shallow about wanting a guy that can string together a few words into a coherent sentence?
 mj824
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 46
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Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:41:09 AM
Agree that talking on the phone is important before actually meeting. I can tell alot from a phone conversation. If the person has no personality what so ever or there's no chemistry why waste their time or mine in meeting. They can be a great e-mailer but you need to actually talk mono e mono to know if there's something there.
 desertmyst780
Joined: 4/5/2007
Msg: 47
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Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 11:46:50 AM
Usually if I guy emails me and I'm intersted in him I will send him my IM info and chat...then we chat a couple of times and if we get along and have good conversations (more than yes and no answers ) then I would ask for his number (if he hasn't given it to me by then) and give him a call. You can learn a lot by hearing their voice and know a bit better if you are still interested. For example, you talk to this guy online for awhile, hit it off....talk to him on the phone...and can't get a word in edgewise and feel like an idiot cause he talks over your head! Or talks all about himself the whole time....ect. There are times where after I talk to a guy on the phone I'll know we won't be compatable. It's much easier learning some of the quirks on the phone than in person where they can see your reaction And if they have a GREAT, SEXY voice....well that is a bonus!!!!

JMO
 blackjade
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 48
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 4/30/2007 2:24:41 PM
Don't know why some women are like that. I would rather talk on the phone because I feel it gives me a better insight into the person. emails are great but you can write anything you want get a buddies advice etc. I will IM first and if that works out then move to the phone. I am not into this emailing for months on end because I find meeting someone easier. I can tell a lot more about someone face to face than I can in emails. Just me, maybe I am impatient but at least I haven't wasted months only to find out that we are not compatible when we meet.
 float away
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 49
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 9/24/2007 12:39:19 AM
I agree with a lot of the comments here....if a guy gives me his contact details in his first email and wants me to call him right away, I don't anymore. I have learned from experience that these kind of impatient guys really are after sex just as easy as they can get it.
As someone else said in this forum, I am not free and I require a little effort to be got!!
 dasistalles
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 50
Just a phone call, can't be that bad can it?
Posted: 9/24/2007 12:53:23 AM
Boozehag..

umm..conversate ??! Ben Stein says...wow !!!
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