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 Viper1E
Joined: 11/30/2011
Msg: 125
foreign brides.. your thoughtsPage 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
While some American ladies seem to be cool about it, far more simply cant stand that men are able to do this . Ive witnessed more than a few hostile reactions by American woman to this explosion of men going abroad.


Better place your order before they prevent you from doing so..

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/07/05/politics/main561828.shtml

Mail-Order Bride Bill In Works
(AP) Motivated by the murder of a mail-order bride, members of Congress are drafting a bill that would enable foreign women seeking American husbands to learn the criminal background of men courting them through matchmaking agencies.

The legislation, expected to be introduced this month in the House and Senate, represents the most serious effort yet to impose federal oversight over a loosely regulated, Internet-based industry.

The measure's prime sponsors are Sen. Maria Cantwell and Rep. Rick Larsen, both Democrats from Washington state, where 20-year-old Anastasia King, a mail-order bride from Kyrgyzstan, was killed in September 2000.

Her husband, Indle King Jr., was convicted last year of first-degree murder. He had divorced a previous foreign bride and was seeking a third before the killing.

Larsen anticipates bipartisan support for the measure, though he is unsure how matchmaking services will respond.

"Cases like Anastasia King's have given the mail-order bride industry a bad name," he said. "I'd think they would support any steps to ensure they're looked at more favorably."

The legislation would require international marriage brokers to ask clients about any criminal record, including protective orders issued because of domestic violence allegations. Indle King's first wife had obtained a protective order against him in 1995.

The client's information would be provided to women contemplating marriage with him. If the man then applied for a U.S. visa for a prospective bride, he would undergo a criminal background check by federal officials.

No firm statistics exist on the extent of abuse suffered by mail-order brides, or even the numbers of such women. In the most recent attempt to quantify the industry, immigration officials said in 1999 that more than 200 international matchmaking services operated in the United States, arranging 4,000 to 6,000 marriages annually between American men and foreign women, mostly from the Philippines and former Soviet Union.

Leslye Orloff, director of the NOW Legal Defense Fund's Immigrant Women's Project, said some mail-order marriages work out well, but others are "a recipe for disaster" because the man is seeking a submissive wife.

"The industry markets stereotypes on both sides," Orloff said. "They market to the women the image of wealthy American men and a better life. They market to the American men the image of docile women they can control."

Such a pitch is offered by the Chance for Love matchmaking service. "The Russian woman has not been exposed to the world of rampant feminism that asserts its rights in America," its Web site says. "She is the weaker gender and knows it."

Fees paid by male clients to the matchmaker services vary widely; costs can climb into five figures when the men go on organized trips to such destinations as Ukraine or Russia.

Encounters International, a Bethesda, Maryland-based service, charges men $1,850 for access to addresses and phone numbers of several hundred women in the former Soviet Union whose photos are posted on the Internet.

The agency's founder, Russian-born Natasha Spivack, said she had no objection to mandatory background checks, but predicted abusive men would still find ways to get a foreign wife.

Spivack contended that male clients, not the women, are the most likely to be victimized in mail-order marriages. Some women, she said, enter such marriages solely to gain U.S. citizenship, then falsely complain of physical abuse as a ploy to remain in America despite divorce.

"Some of these women are sharks," she said.

Since 1993, Spivack says she has helped arrange 300 marriages, roughly 90 percent them still intact. Among the contented couples are Frank Hardy and his Ukraine-born wife, Svetlana, who married in 1998 and now raise two sons in Bear, Delaware.

Svetlana said she knows of several women from the former Soviet Union whose brokered marriages failed because of personal differences but none who were physically abused. Her husband, a twice-divorced pilot, said he assumed some foreign brides are mistreated but doubted the problem is widespread.

"A guy is not going to grab a young woman in Russia to bring here just to beat up," he said. "He's got a lot of money tied up in it."

Advocates for immigrant women's rights acknowledge that statistics are scarce on abuse of mail-order brides, but they're convinced the problem is growing.

"We called legal service providers that help battered immigrant women--half of these organizations said they have women coming through their doors who were married through international marriage brokers," said Layli Miller-Muro, executive director the Tahirih Justice Center in Falls Church, Virginia.

The justice center has been deeply involved in work on the upcoming federal legislation. It also is assisting a Ukrainian woman who has sued Encounters International, claiming the agency falsely suggested she would be deported if she left her abusive husband.

"Our goal is not to shut the marriage agencies down, it's to protect women," Miller-Muro said. "When someone is marketing relationships that by design involve a dominant party and subservient party, the likelihood of violence is greater."
********
After looking at that Chance for Love website, I'm seriously considering place an order myself! Wow! I feel like a kid in a candy store!
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 126
view profile
History
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/21/2012 11:03:43 AM
Well I think it comes down to the intent of the individuals involved, if you are really looking for someone to have a relationship with, do the research on the subject, make an effort to learn about the woman's culture and language and realize that part of why she might be picking you is to have a better life than any romantic attachment, then go for it and hope you find your happiness. If you are an individual who is simply a control freak and wants a submissive wife to abuse and use, or just looking for a young trophy on your arm to compensate for your own insecuritites and boost your ego and the lady is only looking for a green card, then it can be emotional and financially disasterous.
For those individuals who bash US women and threaten that all men will head overseas, give me a break, the women you are talking about don't even know you exist or care if you go, there are still plenty of men here who are successful in relationship and dating so there simply is no need for them to look elsewhere and take the chance the woman is with him only for financial gain or a visa.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 127
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/21/2012 11:59:19 AM


Why shouldn't they? If they are impressed by a product -- foreign brides, a new car wax or discount stereo equipment lots of people are good enough to spread the word. Many commercial outlets completely depend upon word of mouth, customer referrals.



People are not "products" and there are enough horror stories to balance out the "satisfied customers."


Not all men who seek foreign brides are rejects;



Let me reiterate: of ALL the men whom I have seen on POF who strongly advocate seeking an overseas bride, none have been handsome or strikingly intelligent; they also do not appear to have money or they would already have the bride. There was one guy who got bounced off POF twice because he WAS selling a product and had a vested monetary interest in "helping" men find foreign brides. I can't speak about all men in the West and I wasn't attempting to do so; however, with the exception of one man whom I know or have seen in real life, my observation holds true, as well.


many such men have traditional values and yearn for a relationship that allows them to be a loving provider for someone who is willing to give them the respect & recognition that any honest hardworking man deserves.



I have heard this rationalization before and it rings false. There are MANY Western women who want this type of marriage. They are in POF forums and I have met some in real life. For some reason, though, they want handsome, wealthy men. Go figure.

As for the age difference, young women who do not have to sell themselves in order to get into the US or Canada don't want old men. Those young foreign brides don't want old men either, but the alternative is worse than marrying some old fart. Sad.


I really don't give crap to who dates who... But this all western women suck attitude is getting old real quick...



Maffers, we are in complete agreement--great minds think alike. (Grin.)


Why these men are incapable of forming healthy relationships with women of their own country and generally with women of their own age.




Are you ever going to prove this assertion or do you intend to just keep tossing it out as a means of dismissing what you appear to view as something that is beneath you?



This is anecdotal evidence, I know, but a man who is engaged to an oriental woman more than 20 years his junior sent me a spate of emails recently after we posted in the same forum. He said that he had gone as far to find my town on the map and that he would like to meet me. I said that I was not interested in him because he was engaged and because I seek only local men. He kept sending long emails until I told, pointblank, to stop. He is boring, self-absorbed, and not the best looking man. He likes the fact that his girlfriend is jealous of him, but her jealousy should only extend to other oriental women--he ain't gonna score with US women--or not the attractive ones with whom he wants to score.

To the men who want a wife from overseas, go for it! Really, Western women don’t care: we just don’t like hearing about and hearing about it and hearing about it. It sounds as if those men are trying to convince themselves.

 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 128
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/21/2012 7:05:44 PM

To the men who want a wife from overseas, go for it! Really, Western women don’t care: we just don’t like hearing about and hearing about it and hearing about it. It sounds as if those men are trying to convince themselves.


Very good assertion. I don't care if it is completely true because it should be true. Ideally, men should enlighten other men to the options available to them but refrain from using it as an ineffectual prod on women. It is less than useless and the only results is an increase in the ambient acrimony that everyone has to deal with. Women need to MYOB about it. Nobody is trying to get them to emigrate so that they can be a foreign bride. American women have no stake in it at any juncture. They need to stay out of it.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 129
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:22:58 AM

Too bad it always these loser type men telling me I'm doing it all wrong. They come off like they know it all and have this superiority complex of telling us we are wrong for dating local women because they have made this broad brush statement with little/or no experience of their own. So far I have seen little of this enlightenment just a bunch of bitter people with hatred, showing narcissistic attitudes. Stating fringe arguments of other such fringe people wrote as fact.


Of course you haven't seen any enlightenment. You are not the sort of man that other men would have much respect nor sympathy for. It is doubtful that very many would include you in a discussion of male affairs nor share much experience.

Now, what makes you a winner? You must have something awfully impressive behind you that overshadows the achievements of these expats. Many have gained high military rank. Many have struck it rich as entrepreneurs. Many have special skills that are in worldwide demand. Yet, you indicate that you have accomplishments that surpass them all. You need not mention that you have mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins and daughters again because we have already taken note. Nor do you have to include that you are "just friends" with a multitude of abrasive internet women -- that is assumed.
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 130
view profile
History
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:13:42 AM
My issue with these men wanting to acquire foreign wives isn't that Western women are somehow losing out. I certainly wouldn't date any of the men advocating foreign wives on this thread anyways.

It's that they are exploiting vulnerable women who are faced with the choice of spending their lives in abject poverty or marrying some old man and moving far away from all of her friends, family and everything she knows. What kind of person takes advantage of another human being in this situation?


<div class="quote">"She is the weaker gender and knows it."

This pretty much sums up how these men view women in general. Earlier in this thread, one poster even described a woman having to knock before entering her own home and these men don't see anything wrong with that! IMHO, these men are just looking for someone they can control and these women don't have any choice but to put up with it. That's why my sympathies are with these women.

Regardless of claimed economic status, these men are the bottom feeders in the dating world. No decent woman is going to want anything to do with men who hold such little regard for her as a person if she has an option. That's why these men seek out foreign brides from impoverished / economically challenged countries.

I'm grateful that I was born in a country that encouraged me to learn how to stand on my own two feet so that I have the option of not getting involved with men like these.

I won't shed a tear for these men when they do find their submissive, foreign bride, but I will shed lots for the women they are exploiting.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 131
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/22/2012 7:21:23 AM

Women need to MYOB about it.


Men need to mind their own business about it! I don't have a TV, so I don't see Jerry Springer having Foreign Bride episodes (is Jerry Springer still on TV?) and this is not a topic that my friends and I discuss. BUT I see threads on POF on a fairly regular basis and usually, they are exhorting men to get on the stick and get a woman from overseas. Some of these threads are deleted because, as I pointed out earlier, they are posted by a man selling his product.

If the people who open these threads intend to target only men, then they need to find an all male venue.


Nobody is trying to get them to emigrate so that they can be a foreign bride.


Are you referring to Western women? What about young oriental women who want to emigrate not to find love but to find food and a home?


American women have no stake in it at any juncture. They need to stay out of it.


While I do not care about American men importing a bride, I do care about the women who feel that they have no other option than to sell themselves to a man who will take care of them. As a woman and a human being, I feel strongly that all women AND men should have the option to choose whom they marry and to marry for the right reasons. I have nothing but pity for hopeless young women who take this route because they feel that they have NO options, and maybe they don't. If I were in their places, I might very well do the same thing.

But to say that American women should stay out of such ventures is like saying we should condone genital mutilation, forced prostitution, and other atrocities both domestic and foreign because they don't directly affect or harm us.

Ordering a bride from overseas is but a symptom of the illness and the illness is at least double-fold: abject poverty and a lack of esteem for females. If the root of the problem is eradicated, the influx of brides would all but stop.

By the way, aside from mail-order brides, many Chinese men and couples want to emigrate to the US--go figure.
 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 132
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/22/2012 3:48:27 PM
^^



By the way, aside from mail-order brides, many Chinese men and couples want to emigrate to the US--go figure.


if/when gay marriage is legal in the US, will gay loser-type guys ho cannot find a gay male partner in the US, be able to "import" a gay guy from overseas & marry him?
 veevee
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 133
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:38:58 PM
This is what I think of it.
Can't find the whole video but just this part at the start of this other video.
Judging their body language makes it all clear.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tePyCnjShLY
 veevee
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 134
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/22/2012 11:14:26 PM
Oh and this, when the alternative sometimes is being sold - you can get a warped view about why it's better to submit on your own terms and get out of the country even if he is fugly, old, and socially awkward - beats being locked in a room.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD0Aw6LVhSM

p.s. Anyone can lie about their education on this site. I was never asked to even name my degree let alone give up my transcripts.
 Viper1E
Joined: 11/30/2011
Msg: 135
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/23/2012 8:08:40 AM

American women have no stake in it at any juncture. They need to stay out of it.


Eddie Murphy did a skit in his stand up "Raw", where he said. "You bring your new wife home from overseas, you can't just let her hang with American women. They'll throw a monkey wrench in your whole program! American women hate to see a happy man. Next thing you know, they'll have Chow Ming down at divorce court telling her Girl, you don't have to put up with that! Don't you know you can take half his shit?"
 lacalli
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 136
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/23/2012 8:11:23 AM
^^^Uh, no he said, "crazy nekid zebra bush b*tch." And he called her UmFuFu. Talking about African women. Here's exactly the video you're referring to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq8nUyO-0SY
 Viper1E
Joined: 11/30/2011
Msg: 137
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/23/2012 9:57:39 AM
You're right, my bad..
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 138
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/26/2012 5:09:25 PM
^^^^The last post I saw from you (and the only posts that I have ever seen from you) were months and months ago in a thread you started about this same topic. I am absolutely flabbergasted that you STILL have not found that perfect foreign bride. After all this time, it would seem that you would be happily and blissfully wed.
 Gashlycrumb_Briny
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 139
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 2/26/2012 5:27:39 PM
Are foreign brides good at fixing broken record players? That's what I'd like to know.
 JonA5
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 140
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 3/15/2012 12:40:29 PM
I'm looking for a foreign bride right now.

Lawyers charge $2500-$3500 for green card processing fees AND the government fees are about $1800. I don't think you have to hire a lawyer though. Plane tickets are

I want a Philippino girl because they aren't superficial idiots like American girls.

American girls all want a big house, lots of kids, lots of money, AND they want to just be a stay at home mom. (in other words unemployed) They want everything but don't want to work hard for it. American girls are spoiled their whole lives.

FACT: THE MOST SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES IN AMERICA ARE WHITE MEN WITH ASIAN WOMEN. No other combination has a higher success rate.
 lacalli
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 141
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 3/15/2012 1:52:34 PM
You missed the current post by the Vietnamese girl who is married to an American and still living with him because he supports her but has a boyfriend and is looking on here for another one. I'd take a guess that her husband doesn't feel too successful right now.
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 142
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 3/15/2012 7:03:44 PM

American women hate to see a happy man


couldn't have said it better!
 Earthpuppy
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 143
view profile
History
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 3/16/2012 7:51:53 AM
I got uncomfortably drawn into the dark world of the misogyny movement via Happy Bachelors and Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) forums. I dear friend of mine, Karen, was dating a younger man (both American) and he made the mistake of leaving his browsing info on her computer. As she accessed the sites, she found some pretty ugly stuff being said about American women and her. I went in out of morbid curiosity, and joined to get full access to the archives. I copied and sent her the 168 posts he had made that not only lied about her and accused her of all sorts of horrible things, but he was also posting the same ugliness about two other women I know in this town that he had dated, as well as his female co-workers at HUD. Other than the couple of times he used her computer, he did most of his posturing at his HUD computer. I contacted him and informed him to cease and desist on this dishonesty and character assassination of my friends, or I would sent his posts about his co-workers to them.

As time went on during that chapter, he was exposed to be not only a fraud, but worse yet, a "mangina", the most horrible insult these misogynist can throw at the more women sensitive among them. His begging to get her back still goes on a year later, though in his posts she was just a piece of meat for his sexual pleasure. Going through the threads made me want to shower afterwards. The most common meme was that western women were sluts, and worse, and that foreign women were the way to go for any self respecting american or canadian man. So there are websites for the guys here who want to be accepted by a bunch of other misogynist azzhats. Doug was happy as a clam till we outed him.

Birthday Girl, a film starring Nicole Kidman, was a rather hilarious warning about foreign brides gone wrong.
 SugahPunkin
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 144
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 3/16/2012 4:33:25 PM
Ok.. the thread caught my eye even tho its what?... six years old now?

Anyway, I work with a lady that is a mail order bride from the Philippines. She was in a catalog and had several men writing to her.
Well, she had said in her heart whoever of them came over and stayed a month and "wooed" her and met her family she would marry.
So, three backed out of coming there.. one got sick and couldnt come and then one did show and stayed not one month but three and learned about her family and life there.

The day came for his departure and he said to her to come with him. She did. She left everything and came to America with only her papers and a few lil special things.

Now, its been around 30 years. She learned how to read and write English and works with me and has two grown sons and grand children. She has a wonderful life and visits family once a year but sends most of her paycheck back there because her husband makes great money and enough for them so she only works because she sends it back home.
Shes a wonderful woman and dear friend.
Im not sure if every one of them are like her but if they are then I think its a worthwhile cause to find someone.

....my two cents.
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 145
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 3/16/2012 5:13:10 PM
If you or anyone has two failed marriages, it is about you, not about 'American' women.


Wrong! It takes 2 to tango!


Chances are you would not have done any better if your wives had been German.


wrong again! Unfortunately, its only N. American women who have bought into the feministic diatribe that has shaped their way of thinking into today; a way in which has fomented disdain& discord between the sexes. The end result is astronomical divorce rates (which 80-90% of the time are initiated by women); abandoment of traditional family values, the fruits of which have been dysfunctional offspring to the degree never seen before!

Given all they stands to lose; It amazes me why more N american men haven't taken the foreign bride route.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 146
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 3/16/2012 5:16:24 PM

I got uncomfortably drawn into the dark world of the misogyny movement via Happy Bachelors and Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) forums.


I've seen you post on them before. Wondering why they are such fixation. There sure aren't very many of them and they have no power or influence to speak of. They don't appear to be any more of a threat to male feminists, such as yourself, than the Black Panthers are to the Christian Coalition. I doubt that even the world's most prominent MGTOW has enough pull to fix his own parking ticket never mind do you any significant damage.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 147
view profile
History
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 3/16/2012 8:16:37 PM
I guess all brides are "foreign" immediately after the wedding. Then, over time even a foreign bride becomes "familiar". I'd say Grooms too, for the women.

If you're seeking a new life with a foreign lady, and thinking of marriage think ahead.Ask why this woman appeals to you?

Or, you just may find yourself single and posting on this POF thread again.

The concept may seem foreign but sometimes familiarity breeds contempt.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 148
view profile
History
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 3/16/2012 8:24:50 PM
I also worked with a woman from the Philippines who married an older Big 3 worker here. He met her on vacation and brought her over.
She knew from the start how to work this situation. She got parttime work, applied for credit cards in her name only. She charged them up to the max sending stuff back home, spent her whole pay cheque buying things for her family in the Philippines.
Then one day she went to her lawyer and wanted to claim bankruptcy/get a divorce. He laughed and told her she wasn't a citizen yet, she would have to wait longer.
She then quit her job and took one in another province, a summer resort job. After the summer she got laid off and was on unemployment. The resort was also hiring her brother and sister and bringing them over.
So now we have 3 of them, using our system to better their lives. On unemployment for the majority of the year, claiming bankruptcy.
Her and her husband fight a lot, I think he thought he was going to have an obedient quiet wife. He ended up with a woman who conned him and this country.
Do all older men really believe these young beautiful foreign women are in love with them?
 Earthpuppy
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 149
view profile
History
foreign brides.. your thoughts
Posted: 3/17/2012 12:07:47 AM


I got uncomfortably drawn into the dark world of the misogyny movement via Happy Bachelors and Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) forums.

I've seen you post on them before. Wondering why they are such fixation. There sure aren't very many of them and they have no power or influence to speak of. They don't appear to be any more of a threat to male feminists, such as yourself, than the Black Panthers are to the Christian Coalition. I doubt that even the world's most prominent MGTOW has enough pull to fix his own parking ticket never mind do you any significant damage.


If you look at the current spate of legislation against women coming from the far right, it's pretty obvious that the misogyny movement has come into it's own this year. And yes, the "christian" coalition is playing no small part in the regressive movement.
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