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Joined: 10/16/2006
Msg: 147
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....Page 2 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
This is just because you are a nice girl and he doesn't want to hurt you but it's also unfair as he is not stating that clearly..

It's kind of a "Been there done that" experience for me. I did at some point say it as I was not ready for a commitment back then. I meant every word of it and I still do. I'm happy knowing that she is happy but the friendship part didn't work we barely meet or talk and I can understand that it is just fair. On the other hand it was told to me by an ex, well not exactly but the female version of it the “Lets be friends for a while” BS.. I knew what it meant right away but because I was ready then and my feelings were much stronger I thought it might work out… Heh heh .. Turned out to be a BIG WASTE OF TIME. So my advice to you is to terminate this relationship in case it will cause you any pain (and it will) or it might interfere with a future one (and again it will). I know it is hard since you still have this feelings for him but as they say “time heals everything” & you are in Plenty Of Fish.. Happy

Finally Trust me in one thing: It’s his loss and he ill know it..

Joined: 10/16/2006
Msg: 155
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 12/6/2006 10:13:14 PM

i have to tell you that i feel the same way about my ex boyfriend
i was the one to tell him that i love him but that i'm not IN love with him and it's the honest truth and i STILL feel that way 2 years later

*Just curios* How do you both feel after it took you two years to figure that out? & Was it your call, his or a common one?

basically what it means is that we love and respect you, we care about you, we want you to be happy, we enjoy your personality, it's just that there is no *spark* left.. there is nothing beyond caring for you as you would a family member

But this is a different type of love, so do you mean to say that love changed over the time from passionate to platonic?!!

this can actually be much more healthy than an intimate relationship
my ex and i have a WAY better relationship now than we ever did
look at things in a positive light

IMHO, That is great if you both feel good about it & Mutual feelings exists..


sphinx-fire... Well said, nuff said ..

Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 161
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 12/7/2006 7:08:53 PM
Love does not have to hurt but it often seems to. When you listen to the music of love you will hear it telling stories about the pain and sorrow of unfulfilled love. Someone left, someone cheated, or someone died and left someone sad and alone. Love is such a strong positive emotion that it is inevitable that there will be some pain associated with it at some time. This is Nature's law of opposites. For every force there is an equal and opposite force to hold it in balance. As much as our love would soar as a bird on the air, there is gravity to bring it back to earth…sometimes falling but usually gliding.

Passion, is a bird on wing in the thin air of the highest sky without a net. Passion is blissful delight. It's exciting, thrilling, and we feel so alive. You remember your first love and you always will while those that follow diminish in the distance and fade in the past.

First love and passion unlock so many feelings that it's hard to describe them all: euphoria, peace, tenderness, tingling, jealousies, and complete connection are but a few. Passion is a sweet anesthesia that blinds us to anything that might come between us. Love, in the passion stage, holds a power for that moment that can overcome everything.

When judgment is replaced with passion, people tend to make different decisions than they otherwise would. You dated and maybe even married that person even though you sensed that there were major differences between you. You somehow thought that they weren't important or that they would change. Then you realized, when the passion wore off as it always does, that maybe things weren't as great as you thought. That realization and the following break-up were hard. It hurt. It seems as though love always hurts.

The truth, however, is that love does not hurt but it is the falling out of love or not having love that really hurts. And the higher you are, such as in the heights of passion or the tower of a long-term love, the harder the fall. A break-up, divorce, death, or abandonment are some of the most painful experiences of life because we miss our love so much.

We all need two things in life 1. To not be alone or feel alone, and 2. To be appreciated and loved for whom we are. Love brings us together and loneliness reminds us that we are missing something in life. You may not even understand it but the forces are there. We seek fulfillment in the love of others when we often need to love ourselves just as much.

"Love is the passionate and abiding desire on
the part of two or more people to produce
together conditions under which each can
be, and spontaneously express, his real self:
to produce together an intellectual soil and an
emotional climate in which each can flourish,
far superior to what either could achieve alone."

From "Apples of Gold" - unattributed quote
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 163
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 12/11/2006 4:55:14 AM
I got that one once.

I think that it comes from them 'feeling it' - love toward the other, say.

They just choose those words to express what they feel. Doesn't me that, I feel, there is a differnce from loving someone and being 'in love'.

Maybe because, say, I 'love' my family members - some chose the phrase 'in love' to describe a romantic feeling to distinguish the two.

Funny all that we associate with the word LOVE and all of the possible interpretations.

Once, I closed an email 'Love, Steve' - that unintentionally ended that relationship. I guess - to her - it meant that I loved her and she went running. :-S My bad.
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 164
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 12/11/2006 6:57:27 AM
I've heard this line before.. but I think you either love them or you don't. But some people think there are different levels.

love is like a mom loves there kids.

Being in love is like emotional, sexual, and compatibility... The ability to not care for your own life just to save there life.
 The Shape of My Heart
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 165
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 12/11/2006 10:29:50 AM
I have had the same thing happen to me recently and wondered what was going on because it just didn't make sense to me...a person that says that they love you a few months ago but can't seem to say it now? Confusing ?? or is it the men are from mars and women are from venus thing??

Can some male straigten me out? PLEASE

Would love to hear the other point of view

Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 167
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 12/11/2006 1:30:08 PM
as for "the shape of my heart "...

doesn't matter if you are as cute as a button or not. Some guys would probably fit into the saying," The grass is greener on the other side." Or he found someone who is more compatible with him.
 The Shape of My Heart
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 170
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 12/12/2006 4:40:21 PM
Thanks after reading your profile ..hmmm i wish you lived closer to me!!

Advice taken ...

Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 179
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 12/19/2006 11:19:03 AM
You don't fall out of love with someone you really love. It doesn't happen. You give up. It's that simple.

And if you truly love this person, the best way to prove it is by saying the reasons why you're giving up. If you're a consistent person all the way throughout the relationship -with some glitches of course, because you're not perfect-, there's no way you would say something like this.

Excellent post, Dime.
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 181
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 1/24/2007 8:05:09 PM
yeah my ex-wife gave me that one too. The only one that sux worse is the "I just dont love you that way" or "lets just be friends"Odd thing is that I guess she meant it because once we got past all the angry stuff she started asking about my life and such and now we talk about just about everything
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 183
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 1/24/2007 8:24:13 PM
I wish everyone would leave an open mind and stop passing judgment as to what they think it is someone is saying or doing.....Let us give the benfit of doubt to what a person is saying.The words speak for themselves. A person after getting to know you is not feeling that "in love" thrill anymore. But they care for you and respect the relationship they have developed. So they and care for you. But as most of us is not that easy breaking up.....sometimes the physical attraction is still there....IN order to know exactly whats going needs to ask questions ....very hard and direct ones. Most people speak in general terms and are afraid to deal with the truth of not being "the main focus" of a once promising relationship. Rejection and change are very hard for those who want honesty to deal with. So sometimes people lie or make covers to not hurt feelings and cause anger or dispair. But all of this could be eliminated if one can handle the truth and still hold respect for one's choice.
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 190
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 1/26/2007 12:55:52 AM
I've had that line used on me.

My response: Goodbye.

That is all you can do, really.... just walk away and allow yourself to forget.

One last thing, NEVER drown your sorrows in alcohol... it only makes it worse.

I've found that Cafe' Mocha can take the sting off of a heartbreak for me.... although, I've also been known to hit the Bon Bons. (cut me some slack, I picked that one up from the girls... and it WORKS!!)
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 191
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 1/26/2007 12:22:27 PM
That's funny.......I got the "I love you but I can't live with you"

Just goes to show that love does not conquer all!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 193
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 1/26/2007 2:10:40 PM

I have actually said it. And, years later, it still rings true. I will always love my son's father -- but as a friend, family member, etc. There's absolutely no desire to be romantically linked with him again.

Yeah, I've said it before too... and I meant it. I also said it to my son's father. I love him just as much as any of my cousins or best friends, after all, we were friends long before we became a couple. We just had irreconsilable differences, as a couple, and we make much better friends.

Sometimes when people say it, they really mean it!

Maybe your ex boyfriend meant it, but then realized it wasn't going to work because you were still wanting to get back with him.

Or, maybe he never meant it at all, and was trying to let you down easy.

At any rate, I'd say, go about business as usual, and if he wants to be your friend, he'll come around. If he doesn't, just let him go. Make new friends.
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 194
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 1/26/2007 2:25:17 PM
well it always taked 2 in a relationship wat did u do that made him leav u
Joined: 12/15/2006
Msg: 196
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 1/26/2007 2:50:54 PM

Msg 25: We had been together for 3+ years. We both loved each other immensely, but it had waned from that first getting together newlywed type love into married 20 years type love. (snipped)

Now I am happily married we have the passion of newlyweds, but that comfortable been together forever feel despite only having been together less than a year. Most people thought I was nuts to get married so soon after meeting my husband, but I had played the I'm just not ready yet game, we were both ready to get married and decided it would be better not to wait.
*GASP* This is ME *heheh*... okay, I've not married the man yet - but I read this and went DANG!!! I just ended a 3 year relationship; met a POF and weeks later we are living together. He's the most incredible person I've ever met and it's like I've known him a lifetime! Ya'll can be our inspiration! *smirk*.... (thank God my family & select friends I've told the story to have had nothing but positive things to say despite it appearing as tho: "I'm walkin' on the "are you insane?" side, and going to enjoy the experience!" attitude!
 Tequila Sunrise1
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 204
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/24/2007 2:00:08 PM
....Take it as a warning sign that he does care for you, but is no longer in love with you..
I have been on the other end of feeling this way about someone in my past (like your ex)..the love died for me, not his for me , but i still cared...that's about it.
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 209
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:34:03 AM
Well I have dated a Guy I met from here for about 3 months...... and I havent heard from him for 4 weeks so that I am determined that its over between us, but the thing is he owes me money & Keys to my apartment.

I have moved on and started seeing other people but I am waiting for him to come around so I can tell him that I am not inlove with him anymore for what he did of ignoring me for 4 weeks..... I deserve more than that....

I am happy now & determined to meet new people & Start over you should too.......
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 210
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:37:27 AM
Hrmmm it's a cop out... and I don't have a single ex that I retain as a friend. I've only done long term relationships, if they didn't make the grade then oh well, cut the ties and don't dwell in the past.
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 211
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/26/2007 11:09:31 AM
You know - when this happened to me - I thought I was
the only one someone had said this too - I went to my closest friends
and asked them to please explain how someone could feel this way after
all the time we had been together - how did he just love me and not be in
love with me. I must say that this statement, when it was made to me
hurt me so deeply that it caused me to retreat into myself- I developed some
very deep issues and very very bad habits because of this statement and
how painful this statement is. I still can see in my mind after all these years
exactly how this was delivered to me.
this is a very cruel statement to make to someone - the word love used any other
way but here it is in the negative. At least that is how I interpreted it.
We love people in our lives - obviously there is a big difference between love and
In love - I had no idea what the difference was and sometimes I think I still dont.
When I love, I love very deeply so I guess that makes me In love with everything.
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 212
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/26/2007 1:05:26 PM
Falling in love with someone takes time. It's a process of getting to know someone....

LOVING someone can be a very different emotional feeling. We love our friends, our parents, (some of us anyhoo, lol), our children, our pets..... but BEING IN LOVE is a completely different thing!

I have fallen out of love with someone only to still love them. I cared about them, felt for them, worried about them, wanted only the best for them, but that IN LOVE feeling was no longer's as though that magic curtain that surrounds a love affair had been lifted...."The magic is gone, the moment is lost..." kind of feeling....

Don't get me wrong... it's not something that happened without warning.... it was a progression of events.... (and I for one can attest to the fact that it can return.....)

But IN love and LOVING someone are two different feelings and phases...and they shouldn't be confused.
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 223
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:21:33 PM
You are so right. The guy still has feelings for her, but she's not the ONE.
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