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 Tequila Sunrise1
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 204
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....Page 3 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
....Take it as a warning sign that he does care for you, but is no longer in love with you..
I have been on the other end of feeling this way about someone in my past (like your ex)..the love died for me, not his for me , but i still cared...that's about it.
 pebbles_2006
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 209
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:34:03 AM
Well I have dated a Guy I met from here for about 3 months...... and I havent heard from him for 4 weeks so that I am determined that its over between us, but the thing is he owes me money & Keys to my apartment.

I have moved on and started seeing other people but I am waiting for him to come around so I can tell him that I am not inlove with him anymore for what he did of ignoring me for 4 weeks..... I deserve more than that....

I am happy now & determined to meet new people & Start over you should too.......
 EnElSol
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 210
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:37:27 AM
Hrmmm it's a cop out... and I don't have a single ex that I retain as a friend. I've only done long term relationships, if they didn't make the grade then oh well, cut the ties and don't dwell in the past.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 211
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/26/2007 11:09:31 AM
You know - when this happened to me - I thought I was
the only one someone had said this too - I went to my closest friends
and asked them to please explain how someone could feel this way after
all the time we had been together - how did he just love me and not be in
love with me. I must say that this statement, when it was made to me
hurt me so deeply that it caused me to retreat into myself- I developed some
very deep issues and very very bad habits because of this statement and
how painful this statement is. I still can see in my mind after all these years
exactly how this was delivered to me.
this is a very cruel statement to make to someone - the word love used any other
way but here it is in the negative. At least that is how I interpreted it.
We love people in our lives - obviously there is a big difference between love and
In love - I had no idea what the difference was and sometimes I think I still dont.
When I love, I love very deeply so I guess that makes me In love with everything.
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 212
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/26/2007 1:05:26 PM
Falling in love with someone takes time. It's a process of getting to know someone....

LOVING someone can be a very different emotional feeling. We love our friends, our parents, (some of us anyhoo, lol), our children, our pets..... but BEING IN LOVE is a completely different thing!

I have fallen out of love with someone only to still love them. I cared about them, felt for them, worried about them, wanted only the best for them, but that IN LOVE feeling was no longer there.....it's as though that magic curtain that surrounds a love affair had been lifted...."The magic is gone, the moment is lost..." kind of feeling....

Don't get me wrong... it's not something that happened without warning.... it was a progression of events.... (and I for one can attest to the fact that it can return.....)

But IN love and LOVING someone are two different feelings and phases...and they shouldn't be confused.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 223
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:21:33 PM
You are so right. The guy still has feelings for her, but she's not the ONE.
 eb3267
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 231
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 5/8/2007 5:14:08 PM
To the OP..

Yeah that is bad, but I think mine is worse..

He told me " I could have fallen in love with you" after telling me all about his new girlfriend !! sighs.. Oh well.. Just turn the knife a little !!
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 234
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 5/20/2007 3:04:07 AM
In my experience "Dear John" conversations, letters, etc contain a large dose of BS and generally have great power to mislead and confuse. You might think that listening carefully and analysing will make you wiser and be helpful for the future but it's not so.

As soon as it's clear you've been dumped, stop the conversation, etc (except perhaps a polite "thanks for the good times") You may find the other person tries to insist on giving you an explanation. Firmly suggest they find a friend to talk to.
 TensawEagle1
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 238
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 5/20/2007 1:16:44 PM
"I still love you but I am not in love with you....." This has to be one of the biggest copouts that ever was. More like I thought I loved you but apparently I was wrong, however it is time for me to be moving on to bigger and better things...I agree it is one of the biggest BS lines ever used...

And it just shows the sorryness of the person that uses it...

Rick
 lowrider59
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 243
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:43:15 AM
Ya....I've gotten that line several times. It usually means there is someone else. (cause there always was someone else.) I am surprised to see that men use it. I thought it was exclusively a woman's line.

OP.....go through the typical process of a split ......one day at a time, and some day, you'll see that the clouds have gone.

On another note...I was wondering what is up with the men of Canada? I see so many beautiful mature single women from Canada here. Makes me want to pull up stakes and move a tad farther North.

LR
 orchidtigress
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 248
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 6/24/2007 11:36:32 AM
Been there, done that....there is a difference between loving somoene and being in love... like caring about someone and caring for someone.

Usually it means that the person still has feelings for you and would like to be friends, but does not want a relationship and to hear church bells with you. They may feel that you are a great person and have many things to offer but simply they no longer feel that spark or they are seeking other qualities in a partner. People fall in love, and thus can fall out of love...so be thankful for the honesty.
 diamondjoe101
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 252
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:28:11 PM
this sounds like someone who never knew what love was to begin with. and a cop out, for someone who doesn't want to admit that he never did love you, at least in a healthy way.
 marshw
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 254
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:04:50 PM
That means that sex with you was better than nothing, so he wants to keep that going till he finds his next lover.
 savanna06
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 257
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 7/4/2007 6:27:06 AM
"THE ONE WHO LOVES THE LEAST HAS THE MOST POWER"
 echo*
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 258
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 7/4/2007 6:29:39 AM
You can certainly love someone without being in love with them. Here is my take on it: Being in love with someone means he/she makes your knees weak as well as feeling a strong emotional attachment to him. Loving someone means you care for him/her deeply, but without the urge for physical passion that's so important to feeling in love. We all know we can have sex without being in love, but I think when we realize we are not really in love with a person that we're spending a lot of intimate time with, it eventually becomes clear that it may be time to move on and give them as well as ourselves, freedom to find what we are hoping for.
 Romanticbob
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 261
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 7/4/2007 9:09:51 AM
I heard this same line from my ex as I was "dismissed" .

In her case, it meant she was searching for more passion elsewhere even though she knew she already had my love and I was passionate about her.

Your right, it didn't make much sense.

Sorry...
 Flipper Jones
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 272
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 8/12/2007 9:33:22 PM
Your ex boyfriend is obviously to embarassed to tell you he's gay. ;^)

Seriously, this is the biggest cop out line I've ever heard. You either love somone or you don't. If you do you stick it out and make it work.

I think you should kick this guy square in the nutz.


keep your chin up,

flip
 fun-in-the-sun64
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 273
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 8/17/2007 9:28:16 AM
seems like there's primarily two schools of thought in this thread:

one that having loved someone it's possible and likely to continue to love them even after you're not passionate (for lack of a better word)about them anymore. This totally makes sense to me. I'm certain that I still have love for my ex wife and yet I'm equally certain I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with her ever again.

the second school of thought being this is a cop out designed to let you down easy and or maintain some connection to you while really moving on. I can see the logic and high probability that this also happens and that sometimes it's this reason that someone is saying they love you but aren't in love with you.

Bottom line: in both cases it's over. You're better off to move on and either cut the ties or let some level of friendship come from what you previously shared but not focus on it. As longas you accept it's over it doesn't much matter which of the above reasons your ex had for saying that to you. If you want to hold onto some of the good feelings you can assume its the former and if you want to get angry because you think you need that to move then you can assume it's the latter, eitheway it's up to you to accept that it's over.
 anyuser82
Joined: 8/20/2007
Msg: 279
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 8/24/2007 2:13:04 AM
I think when ending a long term realtionship it is either because: you have actually begun to hate your SO, or, you have simply lost the passion to the extent that the routine has become a burden.

In the latter case you may well still hold the person very dear. Love is not an emotion it's a level of committment. You may be more willing to sacrifice on their behalf than anyone else in your life. What is that but love? To say, "I love you, but I do not see a lifelong committed relationship coming from this" is perfectly understandable.

Of course, this does not preclude the fact that it is often BS.
 NatGoat
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 285
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 8/30/2007 12:33:59 AM
Yeah . . well . .
That's what happened to my 1st marriage . .
I became a piece of Furniture . .
I was comfortable for her to have around . . mostly for my Paycheck . .
then as her - Once-a-month Toy -. .
No Wonder I Fell-in-Love with someone else . . !!!
 Dany1180
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 292
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I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 8/30/2007 9:25:03 PM
Well... I've used this line on 2 occasions and it makes perfect sense.

All it says is that the romance and passion that kept the relationship strong has fizzled and died (or that you never had them to begin with) but that you still care for them.

To OP: No, it's not a line meant to keep you 'attached'. You're free to do as you like. Although I sympathize with you, you're contradicting yourself when, on the one hand, you say he means to keep you attached but, on the other hand, you complain that he acts cold with you.
 dani143831
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 295
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 11/10/2007 7:01:48 AM
that line has been used many times and as someone else said its hard to be friends with exs since well your other friends decided to date them bc well you guys are just friends ... cut ties hes not worth it !!!
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