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 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 74
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
You can't really tell. You just have to meet them and find out but I assure you there ARE serial daters out there. Good luck to you!
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 76
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/15/2009 2:20:53 AM

Serial daters may date you 2-3 times or two months, but you always seem to be on a certain schedule, e.g. you're Tuesday night or Sunday night and if you suggest Thursday night, they have another commitment.


How about someone you date once a month or perhaps every 3 weeks but have no set day..

thecatsmeoww
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 77
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/15/2009 2:25:47 AM
practice the serenity prayer, find the widsom and check it out one day at a time. ya never know. sometimes s/he doesn't know either. what each one wants and what you each have is not always the same. if the person is not grounded in reality, or has issues or angst, that is a totally other story.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 78
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/15/2009 9:01:27 AM
For the above poster and his grandparents:
(wiki)
A shivaree, or charivari, or chivaree is a North American term for a clamorous salutation made to a newlywed couple by an assembled crowd of neighbours and friends.

This term is used in Rodgers and Hammerstein's stage musical Oklahoma! based on Green Grow the Lilacs by Lynn Riggs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And people, lets try to make sense here: serial dating is what we ALL do ~~ date one person *after* another. What seems to be being referred to here is *multiple* dating. A number of peeps at the same time. How can we hold a sane discussion if we can't even get a word like "serial" right. . . .? It's not rocket science, kiddles.

 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 79
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/15/2009 9:29:56 AM
Most serial date to find the one. Some multiple date, again to find the one.

And some are chronic serial and multiple daters, who aren't that interested in finding anyone, but mostly enjoy the thrill of dating (and mating).

I'm not sure there's a good way to tell which is which, as even asking may not help.
 GuyGallman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 80
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/15/2009 10:18:05 AM
Speaking for myself, I do date a fair amount, but I'm looking for long term. The thing is, you date to see if there is chemistry and such, most times there isn't. So, you go on another date, it gets old. Yet, appearances are you serial date, when the reality is you can't find the love of your life to settle down with.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 85
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/17/2009 6:53:27 PM
The only true test of virture and intent is time.
If they will not be patient and wait for you to feel comfortable with them, then they have an agenda that has nothing to do with sincerity.

This post has hung in here so long it is worth doing again.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 87
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/18/2009 2:12:38 AM

The only true test of virture and intent is time.
If they will not be patient and wait for you to feel comfortable with them, then they have an agenda that has nothing to do with sincerity.


Indeed they are usually in a big rush to get into a relationship and just as much of a rush to get out of one.. They are simply addicted to the excitement of the chase..

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 88
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/18/2009 7:12:38 AM

If they will not be patient and wait for you to feel comfortable with them, then they have an agenda that has nothing to do with sincerity.


This is drifting back to the endless discussion about schedules and rules. If after a very few dates, like even 1, you don't feel comfortable with a person, what is the real expectation you will ever feel comfortable with them? How would the other person be able to evaluate that?

Hard as it appears for some people to believe, the other person will know whether or not you feel comfortable with them or not. If you don't, they will feel it, and draw their own conclusions about where things are going. It probably has nothing to do with agendas or sincerity, other than you own obvious lack of sincerity and your own agenda. You don't feel comfortable until you have dated 500 times, or whatever, and that is known to the other person through their own senses. So, they don't feel any forward motion, they conclude you are not interested or sincere in your interest, and they move on.

Where is the surprise?

Adults our age are always tuned in to what is going on in a relationship, albeit according to their own experiences. Insisting that they be understanding of your agenda is to me just plain silly. They don't know what your agenda is except through the feelings they get from you, and if you are not comfortable, they can only conclude that it isn't going anywhere.
 HoldingHands27
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 89
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:17:06 AM
I don't really like 'dating'...
I hope my next coffee 'Date' will be my Last One...!!!
There's a ring picked-out.........
Fingers Crossed...!!!
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 90
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 8:31:22 AM

Adults our age are always tuned in to what is going on in a relationship, albeit according to their own experiences. Insisting that they be understanding of your agenda is to me just plain silly. They don't know what your agenda is except through the feelings they get from you, and if you are not comfortable, they can only conclude that it isn't going anywhere.


this is one of the wisest things i've read on this forum. it could apply to about 2 dozen different threads that have been around this year.

 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 91
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 8:42:05 AM

Insisting that they be understanding of your agenda is to me just plain silly. They don't know what your agenda is except through the feelings they get from you, and if you are not comfortable, they can only conclude that it isn't going anywhere.


Ahhh.. but usually I know what their agenda is.. Now how come I get to know while they have no clue?

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 92
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 9:04:15 AM

Ahhh.. but usually I know what their agenda is.. Now how come I get to know while they have no clue?


Well, you assume that you know what their agenda is, just as they assume they know what your agenda is. Your experience leads you to believe you know what their agenda is, but that is just a prediction. Do you really know how things are going to turn out?

Your reactions based on your assumptions will affect the outcome. There is to me nothing clearer in this situation. You, and the other person, manage the way the relationship goes in a fully interactive manner. In my own experience, there is hardly ever a social situation where the assumptions one makes are identical to the thoughts in the mind of the other person. However, you can certainly manage the thoughts of the other person through your reactions to your assumptions.

People go on and on about communication. Its well known that a key cause of communication failure is differing assumptions about other peoples motivations and agendas. Its one of the best ways to make sure you get nowhere in a relationship as fast as possible.
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 93
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 9:30:32 AM
People go on and on about communication. Its well known that a key cause of communication failure is differing assumptions about other peoples motivations and agendas. Its one of the best ways to make sure you get nowhere in a relationship as fast as possible.

Ahhh...spoken by a wise man.
Forget that communication crap.
So if I was to approach you from behind and started humping your leg what would you assume my motivation and agenda was??

Would I be a serial dater or looking for a long term relationship?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 94
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 10:59:44 AM

Would I be a serial dater or looking for a long term relationship?


Being the sort of shallow horny male that I am, I probably would not care......I would assume you are horny and that you find me to be, if not attractive, than at least handy. I would drop my roll of duct tape and embrace the moment...so to speak....
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 95
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 11:23:19 AM

People go on and on about communication. Its well known that a key cause of communication failure is differing assumptions about other peoples motivations and agendas. Its one of the best ways to make sure you get nowhere in a relationship as fast as possible.


I hope you know I was just joking my my response.. I assume nothing and ask questions when I want to know something.. Cause I can be as curious as a cat..

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 96
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 11:28:31 AM

I hope you know I was just joking my my response.. I assume nothing and ask questions when I want to know something..


Well, since I believe you made your money in sales and marketing, I would be really surprised if you were one of the "jump to a conclusion" types. That would note stand a salesman (saleswoman) in good stead!
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 97
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 6:27:11 PM
So if I was to approach you from behind and started humping your leg what would you assume my motivation and agenda was??

Would I be a serial dater or looking for a long term relationship?

Noooooooo.... it could be u had an itch and had just done ur nails and didnt want to mess up ur nail polish?????

LOL WINK
 HoldingHands27
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 98
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/25/2009 9:35:46 AM
To each - their own....
Personally, I'm looking for a Long-term, loving Partnership..!!
If it takes 4 0r 5 'dates'...O-K...
If the ~Two-Way~ chemistry is right with the very next lady I meet, so much the better..!!
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 100
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/25/2009 9:49:56 AM

Personally, I'm looking for a Long-term, loving Partnership..!!
If it takes 4 0r 5 'dates'...O-K...


My goodness do you think you would know in 4 or 5 dates? Or were you thinking you might have to date 4 or 5 people before coming across the right one?

I think you might have to date quite a number of people before finding the one just right for you. You just have to hope it does not go into the 3 digit numbers.

thecatsmeoww
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 101
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/25/2009 1:21:49 PM
I think that even a confirmed serial dater will fall victim to an LTR, if and when (s)he meets the right person. I believe that there are VERY few people in this world that would choose to spend their lives without ever having a meaningful romantic relationship and, the few that do feel that way, are not immune to falling in love. When you meet the right person, you're views on many things can change. I know it has happened to me a few times when I was adamant that I had no desire to be in a serious relationship.

But this is just my take on it.
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 102
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/26/2009 5:46:58 AM
What I seem to run into on a fairly regular basis, both online and close to home, is that some men who claim to be looking for long term will run as soon as they realize I am developing feelings for them. In one case, we had a great deal in common, and always had fun together, no matter where we were or what we were doing. All signs seemed to point to a future; then he suddenly said he wanted to see other women while still having me in his life. NOT THIS LADY!!!! (Caps for emphasis only)
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 103
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/26/2009 7:39:34 AM

What I seem to run into on a fairly regular basis, both online and close to home, is that some men who claim to be looking for long term will run as soon as they realize I am developing feelings for them.


Long term means different things to different people..
Long term for someone could be a relationship lasting 3-6 months.
Long term for someone else could mean a 1-2 year relationship.
Longer term for someone else could mean for the rest of their life..

Most of the ones I meet that put long term are happy with however long it lasts.. They do not really think of it in terms of forever and ever.. They have been there done that and have wised up as they put it..

Have not got to the point of developing feelings other than friendship ones so I posed no threat in that regard..

thecatsmeoww
 HoldingHands27
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 104
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/29/2009 8:23:03 PM
~Meee-yo-wwww!~
Why is it that I can't find someone attractive, available and willing to at least Date
a n y w h e r e close to me..??
I'd prefer a Long-term/lifetime relationship...
And...willing to relocate...once the connection and affection is established...
'Distance' has been a real killer to my efforts...
I thought that this site would be an Improvement over the Bar-scene...
So far...it's only served to get my hopes up...too many times...then ...
~dash~ them on the rocks.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 106
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/30/2009 3:01:51 AM

..he has to want me as much as i want him...

i'm going to keep dating, and having fun, until i find this man...


Indeed that is what I am looking for as well.. Like you I will keep on dating until I find him..
Just to correct an earlier post of mine although I date men just as friends one of them did state it was the one thing that scared him about me. That I thought in terms of finding that special person that would be my last relationship in my life.. I told him what scared me about him was that he did not..

So not everyone who puts long term means the same thing by it.

thecatsmeoww
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