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Women making the first move...Page 26 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)

I don't agree with that statement in it's entirety. By that rationale, a kid has the right not to move to somewhere different. And the law isn't surrounded by that anyway. A basketball player knocks up a gal he was seeing here and there, and then has to pay out hundreds of thousands and thousands to the mom who's a waitress. Take sympathies for said guys out of the way (which may or may not be applicable) -- it's not about Keeping a kid spoiled.


It would be like , for example. a secretary being married to a Dr. and them divorcing. Why should the kids suddenly have to live the lifestyle of a secretaries kid rather than the lifestyle of a Dr's kid, which they have been accustomed to? Dr. daddy, doesn't get to deprive his children of their lifestyle, because him and mommy aren't together anymore. It has nothing to do with be spoiled. The children should never have to take a drastic cut in their lifestyle because the parents can't get along. It is Not what is in the best interests of the parents, but the best interests of the kids!

Just like the basketball player doesn't get to deprive his kid of the lifestyle he is entitled to. Not the kids fault daddy decided to screw a waitress. Daddy is still rich and should be providing for that child just like any child he had that was born into wedlock. That kid has a right to be supported by two parents. If one happens to be rich, well, that kid got lucky.
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 11:19:30 AM

but the parents suddenly can not afford it! if their lifestyle consumed most of their income (or more/in debt), surely there would be a shortage in cash when it was spread between 2 households. while it may not be fair for the kids to suffer, what about the dad that now gets half as much pay, has to rent an apartment, buy anything and everything to put in it and is solely responsible for other bills that exceed his portion of his check? it isn't always that the dads are too cheep to pay, sometimes they just don't have any more to give!


Every situation is different. I really don't think as in the case of July's ex being expected to pay $517.00 a month for 3 kids is a lot. That is only around 170 for each kid, which is peanuts. I bet as in most cases of custodial parents, they pay way more than the non custodial parent to raise the kids. I think it cost July way more than 170 a month for each kid.
Non custodial parents are required to spend a certain percentage of their income on child support. It isn't half their income. I get dad's arent always too cheap to pay. I think though, that a lot of men need to realize, most single parents live either at or just above the poverty line. All this talk of women spending all the money on themselves, is for the most part, nonsense. When you are at or just above the poverty line, if the lights are on, they have a roof over their heads, and the kids have clothes on their backs and food in their stomach, the money is probably being well spent.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 625
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 11:23:56 AM
Cause doctors kid is living with mommy and dr daddy only gets to see them every other week give doctor daddy 50% of the time oh that's right ladies will lose all child support with that. Nope can't share parenting that in itself should be the law equal rights sound about right to you? Equality lets make it a law see how many women want that equality I know a lot of women who will say fvck you. Simply because it's their meal ticket.

Second point of fact you are dropping children from 2 family income to one and saying daddy has to cover all and no a child is not entitled to luxury and no doctor is not paying child support highly doubt any doctor is rejecting paying that and bill and risking his child's future.

So don't change how you meant some shit cause it was said the guy didn't even have a job so those kids should be accustomed to his no income so if the guy wasn't working at all based on your own words she is not entitled to anything. Yet the courts make child support based on possible future in that case? Do it for a doctor possible future he has parkinson's diagnosis guess he won't be working she gets nothing same ideology for every time you can put it in a woman's potential future there is always a backlash coming the other way.

Law should be each parent has kids 50% of the time, no money exchanges hands but the contribute equally to said child's life. Real fvcking hard problem to solve but then all kinds of women would have real serious problems with that too wouldn't they.

Her ex doesn't have a job according to her don't know where you think 517 is alright when he is not working.
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 12:06:54 PM

Cause doctors kid is living with mommy and dr daddy only gets to see them every other week give doctor daddy 50% of the time oh that's right ladies will lose all child support with that

As far as I know, these days, unless there is some special circumstance, or the father doesn't want to be bothered, it is shared custody. Yes, the lower income parent can still receive child support. If there is a huge discrepancy in wages, child support can still be ordered so the children can have the same lifestyle at both residences.


Second point of fact you are dropping children from 2 family income to one and saying daddy has to cover all and no a child is not entitled to luxury and no doctor is not paying child support highly doubt any doctor is rejecting paying that and bill and risking his child's future.


Who said dad has to cover everything? Child support is issued according to a table. The more you make the more you pay.Yes, children are entitled to the same lifestyle they had before the divorce. Remember, children's best interest, NOT daddys.


So don't change how you meant some shit cause it was said the guy didn't even have a job so those kids should be accustomed to his no income so if the guy wasn't working at all based on your own words she is not entitled to anything.

I'm not changing a darn thing. The kids are entitled to be supported by two parents. Most sane fathers would not be so bitter as to see their kids do without. Because July's husband isn't contributing, sooner or later he could find himself in jail.


Her ex doesn't have a job according to her don't know where you think 517 is alright when he is not working.

He needs to get off his ass and work and support his kids like everyone else. I know a job is a foreign concept to you, but that is how most adults that aren't tying to make their ex and children suffer, behave. The courts think so also, that is why they throw men in jail for stupidity like this. July didn't have these children all by herself, why should she be footing the entire bill? Taxpayers really shouldn't be paying for it.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 627
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 12:29:44 PM
^You truly are ignorant I been posting pictures of me a work here for months you know that right? Foreign concept really? I have in my past made more than 100k in a yr. Again you show your ignorance twice in one little paragraph. Yes a lot of people do have to get off their a$$ and work no one said they don't but a government does have a right to base a number by imagination and potential without knowing the issues of the man mentally or physical capabilities first. So he would need an actual psych evaluation smart one, and a work assessment aptitude test and possibly and standard testing as well to make sure it's nothing more serious.

You think you know something about me here's what I did came back from near paralyzation, no feeling in my legs now we all know you believe everyone on disability has lived a life of not working cause well your ignorant to even the remotest possibility people might had you know jobs for you know a very long time. I am sure you heard of davidson rubber, textron, Collins&Aikman you should have their in your town I worked there for over 7 yrs in quality control back 13 yrs ago after that school board, after that hospitals. Would like to see that documentation certificates in the field awards for performance on the job, how about pay checks maybe you might want to see court appointed guidelines and support according to your words I am sure you have the documentation backing your claims up right. Along with your birth certificate and photo identification to your bullshit claim on age yeah right probably your daughters age definitely not yours.

You were saying would you like to see the other job offers waiting for me to get medical clearance completely lifted where I am okay to do more than just be part-time there is not much out there in the way of good jobs on part-time bases that I know of but at $14/hr I can manage 32 hours a week and pay my bills thank you.
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 1:10:12 PM

You truly are ignorant I been posting pictures of me a work here for months you know that right?

Quite honestly, I usually don't pay much attention to you at all. You have anger issues which I was on the receiving end of once, for really no good reason. On your last profile, you stated you were on disability. See, my little cracks about you needing a job payed off. Look at you now, employed and all, like a big boy. Congratulations ! Probably a good idea, as I think Mr. Ford is going to put all the able bodied disabled out to work. Good to get a head start.


Along with your birth certificate and photo identification to your bullshit claim on age yeah right probably your daughters age definitely not yours.

Oh my, how will I ever get over it. Some dude on disability who now works in a gas station making $14.00 per hour is trying to insult me. If I were you, I wouldn't be worried about my age. The chances of me dating you, would be somewhere near nil and not to dang likely. Let me say it again though, congrats on the job, maybe they will move you up to toilet bowl cleaner, with a good attendance record.


So he would need an actual psych evaluation smart one, and a work assessment aptitude test and possibly and standard testing as well to make sure it's nothing more serious.
LOL you really are not quite all there.

I know Ms. Micki, I said I was going to be good. I really did try!
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 629
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 2:00:53 PM
Sorry it's a matter of fact nothing more really if he hasn't worked in an extended period of time it's actually mandatory for evaluations, if has no income than he must be on social assistance and therefore they want to know why he is not working. If he is supported by someone else that is between the 2 of them and although this is all hypothetical cause you julystorm aint telling everything.

As for you doing anything I was working when you made the comment the first time towards people on disability. You really have a things against disabled it's a me thing just hope one of your kids or grandkids don't end up with some sort of disease maybe they you will really see the whole picture. Nah probably not!!!

Insult you really you do that enough all by yourself.

Your not a victim custody should be 50% each and no money doesn't exchange hands regardless of who makes more when each parent has the kids 50% of the time because it goes to primary care giver and both have same time. I know cause that is what I requested since she owed me 7k in support payments might as well just give half the time the courts wont ever get that from her.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 630
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 2:13:52 PM
Thank you STS, for the clarification concerning child support in the different provinces of Canada.

My divorce was a long time ago and more than likely rules / laws have changed, in the USA per each state since back then. At that time, however the amount of money awarded to the custodial parent , was just simply based on the payers, yearly income. Regardless of the child's former life style, regardless of the cost of education, regardless of recreational activities/ It was up to me to make decisions for myself and my 2 children, for what I could afford, to spend, from virtually my income alone.
They didn't suffer and they were not spoiled...……….and yes, they both went to college and graduated from college. Whew!
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 2:18:06 PM

Your not a victim

Of course i'm not, you silly dodo.

should be 50% each and no money doesn't exchange hands regardless of who makes more when each parent has the kids 50% of the time because it goes to primary care giver and both have same time. I know cause that is what I requested since she owed me 7k in support payments might as well just give half the time the courts wont ever get that from her.

What you think and what the law dictates are 2 different things. How it actually works is, they take the higher amount from the support paid by the highest income earner and subtract the lower amount of support paid from the lower income earner and the difference is given to the lower income household. That is so one household isnt at a disadvantage for the kids. This is a start off point. Lots of things go into a judges decision on the amount. This is why it is best for couples to agree on amounts and not drag courts and lawyers into the frey. The
judge just might take an instant dislike to you for some reason. I spend lots of time in small claims court, they can be finicky if you piss them off.
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 2:45:00 PM

My divorce was a long time ago and more than likely rules / laws have changed, in the USA per each state since back then. At that time, however the amount of money awarded to the custodial parent , was just simply based on the payers, yearly income. Regardless of the child's former life style, regardless of the cost of education, regardless of recreational activities/ It was up to me to make decisions for myself and my 2 children, for what I could afford, to spend, from virtually my income alone.
They didn't suffer and they were not spoiled...……….and yes, they both went to college and graduated from college. Whew!


My separation was forever ago too. At that time there was no federal child tax benefit every month. We got a little bit each month and it went by income. I think the most I ever received was 90.00 a month for two kids. I think I received about $500.00 per month in child support. I worked full time as well. I managed to pay a mortgage, and keep them clothed and fed. Both mine graduated high school with several awards and both went to college, one went twice. Mine weren't spoiled either and both learned to budget money.

I think the new Federal initiatives to lift kids out of poverty is a good thing. No kid should have to go to school or bed hungry.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 633
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 3:10:44 PM
My ex could have had 50/50 had he stayed living around here. But even when he was here, though he fought to get the days with the kids, he would bail often, say he couldn't and make up an excuse. Or he would bring them back early. On one week he didn't take the youngest who was one because his girlfriend had gone to visit her parents for the week and he said his hands were too full with all 3 kids.

As for the work thing...he's not on disability. His problem is he gets fired or quits every job he gets. I put up with it for years but now its his girlfriend's problem. From things I hear, I think he's doing a lot of under-the-table work right now. He's perfectly able-bodied so has no physical limitations. He has no high school diploma (something I did not find out till a few years into our relationship) and he often looks down upon the work he does get, thinks its beneath him or something. Before he moved he was delivering parcels which he did for 8 months, working with his dad who had gotten a contract. One day he decided to move without even telling his dad and his dad couldn't handle the contract on his own so it got cancelled on him and left him with a considerable financial burden.

Imputed income is something done when a guy refuses to work because he doesn't want to pony up child support. And all they imputed was $25,000 which is peanuts. I have already stated, I have never had any expectations of getting any child support ever but if I ever do call me shocked. What has really made me upset though is my ex lying to Revenue Canada and having my child tax benefit frozen. I got a letter yesterday saying they may garnish my wages to collect on amounts owing if I cannot prove the facts within 30 days. And right now I'm having trouble proving facts because they aren't accepting certain references and things as evidence.
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 3:17:45 PM

I got a letter yesterday saying they may garnish my wages to collect on amounts owing if I cannot prove the facts within 30 days. And right now I'm having trouble proving facts because they aren't accepting certain references and things as evidence.

will a letter from their Dr. or teacher not suffice. I know when my ex pulled that stunt, our dentist wrote a letter stating the children were in my care. Look at the bright side though, when you do get this sorted out, you will get huge backpay. Probably enough to move out.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 635
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 3:38:09 PM
Oh, the back pay would be big. I gave a letter from my principal and my lawyer and a social worker but they say the letter from the social worker only proves from May on and not from October. I actually have to prove when we broke up but I have no utility bills showing I moved to a new place because the old bills were in my landlord's name nd I moved into my mom's. And I can't locate my ex-landlord. My next task I guess is to go see if I can get a reference letter or something from the RCMP because there was police involvement back in October.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 636
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Posted: 9/6/2018 5:17:30 PM

I know Ms. Micki, I said I was going to be good. I really did try!

Well as good ole' Granny Stratosfere used to say....you can take the girl out of the trailer court....
but you can't take the trailer court out of the girl....
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 637
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 6:05:09 PM
I received 80.00 a month from my first husband plus I signed over all our property, ended up with our daughter, the child support and my bicycle, yet he told everyone how I screwed him over. We owned 4 houses, two businesses, and several cars, I didn't try to take his stuff I just wanted out. Still there he was bashing me and acting like he was ruined. I understand there are men getting ripped off, but that isn't the norm. Most people try to be fair. I got nothing from 2nd husband, he never had anything.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 638
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/6/2018 7:11:20 PM
OP...I think it's kind of nice when a Lady shows an initial interest in me. I may not be traditional though, depending upon which traditions one adheres to that is.

It's always nice to know someone else is interested in you enough to let you know about it. Could women who do this be considered non traditional then? And, if a man does this is it therefore considered normal?

I wonder, I've both made first moves [usual scenario]…. And have had women make initial contact with me. [ Less frequent, in my experience]

Talking, communicating is a start. Matters not who starts it. At least, I'd say this could be so....
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 639
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/7/2018 3:47:19 AM
Your first husband was cruel and selfish.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 640
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/7/2018 7:12:48 AM
Whether the court adheres to the federal guidelines or the provincial guidelines depends on the residency of the parents.

An Ontario family court can include an additional amount of support above the basic amount in order to cover any extraordinary expenses, such as child care. The court can also reduce the amount of support at its discretion.

The Guidelines do not say exactly how to calculate support in a shared custody situation. They say that child support should consider several things. Usually, this means first looking at the table amount for each parent based on their gross annual income. The smaller table amount is subtracted from the larger table amount. The remaining amount is called the set off. The parent who would pay more in child support pays the set off to the parent who would pay less in child support.

But the set off amount might be more or less depending on:

the added costs of a shared custody plan, such as if both parents have extra housing or food costs
each parent's situation, such as if they live with a new partner who shares expenses, or have other dependents to support

There are a lot of different discrepancies on how it will be decided not just those guidelines in her situation here and shared custody she pays the money not him even though she has kids majority of time. I counter act that with shared expenses as well since she has kids most of time he should have to pay shared expenses which lowers her amount because she pays while in their care and she takes them those have to be taken into consideration. So a judge would see that figure the cost of the programs reducing huge support amounts, based on cost time and effort.

Shared custody with all shared expenses on balance to incomes makes the cost of child support zero.

Now Julystorm it is not in your best interest to have shared custody, which I am positive your lawyer told you he didn't tell you the reason. You make 47k he makes nothing but they put it at 25k you pay the difference between your 1k to his 500 even if he only has them 44% of the time. That is $500 out of your pocket and that is not fair to you, the kids, it causes more of financial burden on you, so have to go for full custody not for you and not for the lawyers but for the kids.

You acting with shared custody in the judges discretion he/she is not going to change anything as he/she has no reason, the father makes no effort, he does not try to contribute, he shows no initiative to be involved other than for his own benefit. The judge is not going to agree to shared custody I wouldn't even agree in your situation he is not trying. His employment history how he acts don't be surprised if the courts order an evaluation on him they will I want one done he has nothing to do with me.

Truth is he does need help your statements on his behaviour he has mental issue, he's narcissistic for one above any job he has a high self opinion of himself where his abilities don't match his job. He lies to get a job is in over his head and either gets fired or quits before they find out. He doesn't have a grade 12 which says he doesn't have qualifications to get most jobs anyways, the courts will fix that if they have to for him ordering him to get a GED they can make it mandatory. Next you have the dependency, betting he has substance abuse, or alcohol abuse just a guess mind you but that would all be signs of failed caregiving towards him in childhood he would need to see a therapist if I am right he has serious deep seeded issues and a personality disorder. Might just be ADD could be worse I am not a psychologist or therapist but some of the signs you give he is undiagnosed and probably refuses to seek help I am betting balks at it.

It's not pride it's fear of finding out he has a disorder, or an issue people don't like to confront their real problems so they avoid them with extreme efforts. You have a notice of assessment? If it pertains to kids in your care court documents or is there no real documentation on you actually having custody? Not even a temporary one where you file at the court office that works as well kids are in your care you have birth certificates school their in should be enough to get temporary custody order until court date if you don't have one.
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/7/2018 8:13:03 AM
I highly doubt July would have to pay her ex any child support if this were a shared custody arrangement. Subsection C clearly states a judge can vary support after considering each persons finances. The fact he refuses to work as well as past police involvement would give a judge huge leeway in custody rights. Plus if there were any mental health problems that would also probably preclude dad from getting shared custody. Regardless, I think she has already stated, she has full custody. Like I have stated several times, the last sentence clearly states, the courts try to maintain the standard of living of the child.

Really none of us are judges, although they have guidelines, they do have the final say.

This is from Feldstein Family Law Group;
Yes, the parent who does not have primary physical residence of the child will have to pay, however, the amount of support that will be paid may differ from that found in the tables.

If the time is shared, i.e., if the child spends at least 40% of his or her time with an access parent then the amount of child support that the access parent needs to pay may be lowered. Since the child is spending almost equal amounts of time with both parents then the expenses that they may have, that are associated with taking care of the child, will be more or less the same and as a result they should not have to pay an excessive amount of support which could then result in a windfall gain to one parent and undue hardship to the other.

The relevant section to consider is s. 9 of the Child Support Guidelines (both federal and provincial) which has been interpreted by the Supreme Court of Canada. This case established a2-step approach to determining child support in situations of shared custody.

The first step is to determine whether the 40% threshold has been met, and if it has, then the amount of support is decided by considering subsections (a), (b) and (c):

Subsection (a) states that the starting point in figuring out the appropriate amount is a simple “set-off” whereby the amount payable is the difference between the Table amounts for each parent (as though each was seeking child support from the other). This amount may be varied or added to based on the evidence presented under subsections (b) and (c).
Subsection (b) refers to the increased costs that are associated with shared custody. These costs are determined by examining the budgets and actual expenditures of each parent.
Subsection (c) gives the court the power to consider the condition, means, needs and other circumstances of each parent and child and vary the amount payable where necessary.
It seems as though the courts are most concerned with the standard of living of the child involved and will probably try to award an amount that will allow the parents to maintain that standard of living.


Ms. Micki: Touche, Granny Stratosphere loved nothing better than quick wit, I bet she read that from the trailer park in the sky. I can see her now, laughing, trying not to pee herself. Well done!
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 642
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/7/2018 9:09:16 AM
I don't have official custody yet. When my ex took the kids for the weekend and didn't give them back I had to go to court to get a police-enforceable custody order but I have to wait for the 24th of September for a temporary custody order to be granted and a "permanant" custody order won't be issued until the time set by the judge to trial with when the temporary comes to an end. My ex currently only has visitation from social services but I was told they are going to lift it once he meets their conditions. As to what those conditions are, I do not know.

My ex is a narcissist and I fully believe he has undiagnosed mental problems but I know he is fully able to control his behaviour WHEN he wants to. I've seen him when he wants something. My ex grew up in the north end of Winnipeg, in one of the worst neighbourhoods in Canada, and he thinks differently than I do and part of the way he is is the environment he grew up in. What passes for acceptable where he is from is different than what many of us would consider acceptable.I never should have gotten with him but I think 25-year-old me thought I could tame him.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 643
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/7/2018 11:14:06 AM
Don't worry about the conditions he will probably have a few things to do like that evaluation their nasty for doing them at least here. A long with employment assessments. It's a pretty straightforward conditions he don't do it he has no access to the kids and courts will enforce that.
 thebestgirl1977
Joined: 9/2/2018
Msg: 644
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/7/2018 11:18:34 AM
Oh July, what a cruel, nasty piece of something your ex is. Hopefully the justice will prevail sooner rather than later.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 645
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/8/2018 7:16:35 PM
The problem with women making the first move, is that men are visually oriented. If there's anything about the woman that turns him off, nothing in the world is going to make him want her. Luckily, for most men, about 90% of single women his own age are potentially acceptable. Whether you are acceptable for the long term, well that depends entirely on the woman.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 646
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/9/2018 12:56:42 AM
*Whether you are acceptable for the long term, well that depends entirely on the woman.

Untrue. If it takes a woman to decide whether or not you are acceptable then you are no man at all. A man of character decides for himself what is acceptable and strives to exceed it.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 647
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/9/2018 10:59:54 AM

Whether you are acceptable for the long term, well that depends entirely on the woman.


Who do you mean by "you"? Are you referring to the man or the woman?
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