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 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 76
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Women making the first move...Page 4 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)

Here is the thing NBA. Women will never make the first move no matter what it costs them. It doesn't have much to do with you exactly. Just the way they are.


Here is the more accurate thing: some women will never make the first move no matter what it costs them. Others are more than happy to make the first move, if you have something about you for them to make it worth their while. It often has everything to do with you exactly. It doesn't have to be the way that way at all.
 patchmanjoker
Joined: 7/28/2017
Msg: 77
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 9:03:53 AM
@ browneyes. It is true that SOME women make the first move, overall numbers say that they usually don't. Even with OLD, statistics show that men initiate 80% of the interactions. IRL the numbers may be a little better but many studies done and even covered in different women's magazines still state that over 75% of women prefer that men make the first move. Some of the reasoning given has to do with men being seen as confident by making first moves, women feeling desperate or easy by being to eager, and the fear and embarrassment of rejection. You don't believe me, look it up.
 magicstillaroundme
Joined: 10/2/2017
Msg: 78
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 9:33:32 AM
I guess that there are some tall pygmies and skinny sumo wrestlers too. I live in a metro area with nearly 2 million eligible women and can count on my fingers how many women emailed me first and that was when I was younger and put effort into my profile and pictures. The ratio is staggering.

My main point was that even if a man never got even one first contact message, it doesn't reflect badly upon him. Boo, maybe you think it fun to try to demean NBA for it but it is obvious who looks worse between the two of you.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 79
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 10:40:36 AM

Woman do make the first move...and it has everything to do with you..and the way you are.

Women usually won't. To a super Duper high % when you're not in a shared social group, but are strangers across a bar, etc. Online, a gal can make the initial message, but that's a Very Low %. Essentially, you don't wait by the train tracks waiting for it. Like you say, it's the way you are -- but to get that from time to time (and not some huge rarity), requires you to be out there mingling and knowing lots of people in general... then when they aren't strangers, small little moves can be made. Most won't be too readable as definite "moves" -- but as a guy, your "move" is to bite on it to see if it is one and to go from there.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 80
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 10:52:11 AM
^^^^Yabut, woman do.
I do and I have friends that do.
And I know there are certain people I wouldn't bother with.
Maybe it's the younger (and older) generation and you guys in
the middle are different.

I just know someone with the attitude of Mr. Magic have zero
chances of anyone approaching them.

I still think people complicate things and create their own drama.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 81
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 11:21:58 AM
^^^
Everything she typed.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 82
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 11:35:03 AM

Yabut, woman do.

When you say that though -- you're saying it's a universal trend that women frequently do. Not merely that you can find a woman in a crowd who Does. And not many at all do as part of a frequent procedure with guys they Don't Know who are at a couple yards away. Sure, in crowded environments it opens up, and in different locales. But it's not a drunken holiday in a crowded place -- it's going to be far less than 10%. But Even If It Were 10%, let's say....

So let's say a typical nice-sized place/bar has 85 people in it, but it's not crowded. There's 35 women, but 20 are single. That means 2 are very Possibly in the mood to initiate convo with a guy across the room, when coming in. I walk into the bar. Either 2 could be talking with a guy already -- by her own volition, or very frequently, by a guy, already. And there's plenty of guys -- what about Me? Am I standing out as a hunk in her eyes VS the others, while I caught her scanning the crowd, and not lost in a shuffle somewhere? Or maybe one of the cuter ones of her type where there's a few but I'm the one closer or amongst folk that seems more inviting to approach?

It's rarely going to happen for guys who girls don't lick their lips over. Even at an Inflated 10%. Basically, if they don't know you at all nor associated with your social group, and it's not a crowded or festivius atmosphere -- as a guy, you Can't expect it to happen at all. Given enough outings in various environments, and you walk around starting mingling with people in general all around, yeah, it'll happen, but...

... it's more like a fumble in football. It'll happen. But on the next play run and the one after that, you can't expect the other team will fumble the ball.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 83
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 11:36:24 AM

My main point was that even if a man never got even one first contact message, it doesn't reflect badly upon him. Boo, maybe you think it fun to try to demean NBA for it but it is obvious who looks worse between the two of you.


It's funny you think I was trying to demean NBA.

And thank you for noticing...I look fabulous!
 6jellybeans
Joined: 7/1/2015
Msg: 84
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 1:54:04 PM

OMG! Sound the alarms! Only 1 guy a week she's attracted to writes her! ;)


I know damn it! I keep being told its thousands!

Going back to reading my book curled up on the sofa now because "they are my world"...

So wish I knew how to put in a smiley thing that rolls its eyes.

Probably best I don't try and date fr a bit considering as I am supposedly a staling psycho according to whatever his name is.

This is why God invented vibrators...
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 85
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 7:01:16 PM
6Jellybeans wrote:
So question for you guys.

If men like being approached, how do you like to be approached?


I would like for a woman to approach me and say, "Would you like to have sex with me?" That would probably always work.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 86
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 7:06:26 PM
NBA wrote:


I don't have to worry about embarrassing my self
There's your problem. What you are saying is NO woman is worth risking embarrassing yourself over. You need to get over the fear of being embarrassed because there are many women out there that are worth risking embarrassing yourself over. Some women like knowing you risked something or put something on the line to meet them.
 nba24
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 87
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 9:54:38 PM
Yeah but my point is that for both women or men that is a issue that it is a risk of embarrassed so why do men have to take that chance but not women?
 patchmanjoker
Joined: 7/28/2017
Msg: 88
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/6/2017 10:57:11 PM
I tell you what browneyes.... Next time there is a concert or a festival near you. Say you are doing a study for a collage sociology class and ask each heterosexual couple you see to tell you which one made the first move. If the numbers are like 50/50 or even 60/40 you can make your claim. Until then, we will have to go with the facts. I can easily say I knew a few one handed jugglers so that must mean that half of all jugglers must be one handed. As you see, what people say as a matter of personal experience does not make it the norm. Sorry....
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 89
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/7/2017 12:18:19 AM
Holy f*ck. All this talk of numbers, studies, and calculations, etc.

The time one spends constantly trying to confirm their negative suspicions could be spent trying to figure out and do whatever it takes to start beating the odds.

I know, I know. CRAZY concept!!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 90
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/7/2017 5:21:10 AM
If men are doing 80% of the interactions (and i'll bet a few of those situations began with a guy getting the idea she was interested, so she flirted and he took the big step), then that still means 20% of the time, it was the woman. Even I have been hit on from time to time in life. But it sure ain't often, and I can believe at least a quarter of the time, the woman is the one making the relationship happen. Probably more like 1/3rd of the time, I don't believe its as high as half the time, but then that assumes a guy isn't mega hot. I'll bet a celebrity like Brad Pitt gets hit on more often than he makes a pass at a woman.

sometimes, what gets a lady to hit on you, is to not be hitting on her...she isn't spending her time fending you off, but if she wants to not be alone...she notices you're the guy who isn't a pain in her ass. The guy who isn't on the prowl. A guy who is checking out every woman as if the only thing he needs is two T and 1 A, not a lot of women are going to be attracted to that guy even if they are feeling lonely tonight. Or the desperate guy who looks like he's going to brag to all his friends that he finally "got some". Women don't want to be the object that got used for sex.

There are some women so hot, they are worth asking out...and you aren't embarrassing yourself, b/c there's so many before you who've asked. Of course, it depends upon how you ask, too. I used to ask out a ton of women, I can count on one hand, the amount who were immature and handled it poorly. ONE was a bank teller, and made things uncomfortable enough every time I went in, that I changed banks. ONE. And I haven't thought of her until this moment. I'll bet she hasn't thought of me, either. and of course, you can figure out how to talk to a beautiful woman, and work into the conversation whether or not she has a man ("oh, your car's making a strange noise? Well, I hope your bf or husband is a mechanic, that must be annoying to hear that noise and wonder what it is").

that all said, I don't ask women out anymore b/c I kept getting the same answer for decades. THAT, I consider a decent reason to stop banging my head, i'm just working with experience rather than theory.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 91
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Statistics say... easy peasy lemon squeezy
Posted: 10/7/2017 5:47:35 AM
I walk into my favorite bar (or any bar/restaurant) and there are a dozen or so men sitting around the bar. I make a quick assessment and see if I like the looks of any of them. I take the seat next to him. When I sit down I do it on the inside - that is I move the stool a bit away from him so that I can sit. Just enough to be able to get onto the stool. A lot of the time this will mean you may brush up against him a bit. They will always look at you when that happens. You make eye contact and smile as you sit down. I just made the first move. We may date for a while and he will always tell people that he saw me walk into the bar and offered me a drink or started talking to me or whatever so he made the first move but ... he didn't.

Same thing with seeing a guy at a charity function concentrating on the silent auction and carefully placing his bids or waiting at the bar or cheering for a certain team or buying produce or on and on and on. You put yourself in their space and make eye contact. If they are interested they will do something about it. They think they made the first move. Fine with me. Don't care. Not keeping track.

If they don't do something about it they aren't attracted to me, have a significant other, are too shy (which means we aren't a match), whatever. So? Rinse and repeat. It really is not that difficult to get the attention of the opposite sex (or same sex if that is your goal).
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 92
Statistics say... easy peasy lemon squeezy
Posted: 10/7/2017 6:14:59 AM
I think a lot of guys associate making the first "move" with being the first to throw a compliment or asking someone out first, but I think of that as a silly way to look at it. Making a first "move" can be completely non-verbal, and women very often do go with this approach.

Funny enough, I had a woman sit next to me at a bar a few years ago, and after she sat down, she told me she loved my glasses, and I thanked her. She was wearing glasses, too, and I said to her "damn, you look like Sarah Palin."

She got up from the stool and went to the other side of the bar....haha.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 93
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Statistics say... easy peasy lemon squeezy
Posted: 10/7/2017 6:22:09 AM
^^^
Yup. I'm not keeping score. I don't need credit for "the first move". Non-verbal usually works just fine.

Sarah Palin? Ugh. Should have gone with Tina Fey.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 94
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Statistics say... easy peasy lemon squeezy
Posted: 10/7/2017 9:28:30 AM

They think they made the first move


In person: ^ ^ ^ ^
Yes spot I agree.

LOL I debated how to reply to this^ ^ ^ . How to quantify. I will say .............some women know the best approach or the best method to conclude who did what first? / Whose idea was it? / Who started the whole thing? ( When NOT in writing)

For the sake of "getting along" / For the sake of boosting a man's ego / Some women know how to lead a man towards making a move....................therefore giving him the appearance of, "taking charge".
It was his idea! LOL "Well of course it was your idea, honey, I just helped propel it along"
When opportunity knocks...............

( For some reason I'm thirsty for lemonade?)
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 95
Statistics say... easy peasy lemon squeezy
Posted: 10/7/2017 11:49:04 AM
Wait til a gal asks you for sex...

Usually there's a financial wreck when it comes free :(
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 96
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Statistics say... easy peasy lemon squeezy
Posted: 10/7/2017 12:07:55 PM
LMAO A woman has to ask for sex?
 MsSkeezix
Joined: 7/1/2017
Msg: 97
Statistics say... easy peasy lemon squeezy
Posted: 10/7/2017 12:24:29 PM
There are some guys who just won't 'put out'---whodathought!?!

;-(
 Kj521
Joined: 11/16/2016
Msg: 98
Statistics say... easy peasy lemon squeezy
Posted: 10/7/2017 6:04:15 PM
^^^^ I did.

Found out in a not so hard way. :/
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 99
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Statistics say... easy peasy lemon squeezy
Posted: 10/7/2017 7:17:36 PM

Making a first "move" can be completely non-verbal, and women very often do go with this approach.

A move that no one notices is worthless. This is why men dislike women who are coy....the very definition of "playing games".

Men make non-verbal moves, too, like grabbing their crotches, acting like apes, shoving each other around, and ( ugh )....winking.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 100
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Statistics say... easy peasy lemon squeezy
Posted: 10/8/2017 7:16:57 AM

A move that no one notices is worthless.

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.



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