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 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 101
Women making the first move...Page 5 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
A few months ago, had this hot (and I mean *HOT* - *MILES* out of my league) 20-something girl buy me a drink at a local pub. I knew her from another pub, where she was a server, and I had engaged her in conversation about science-fiction; specifically, Dr. Who (it was unreal: a hot, young girl, who's interested in Sci-Fi? Holy-Moley...) Anyway, it was an obvious play for me (maybe she has a thing for older men; maybe she was into dispensing Pity-Fcuks... dunno, and don't care). Also anyway, like a big dummy, I didn't pursue it. Not sure why, but I know those darn pesky ethics were somewhere in the mix...

The point is, there *ARE* hot girls out there who are geeky, and who will pay attention to guys like me. Now, let the judgement from the older shrews begin...
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 102
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 7:35:00 AM

Now, let the judgement from the older shrews begin...


I admit I get a chuckle, from the above comment. Suggesting as it were, only "the older shrews" will be reading.
I checked, for THIS thread -4779 views and counting. Who knows how many "shrews" or non shrews, were included.

On many occasions, out and about, and at work, I have engaged in conversations with men. Young, older, hot, average, tall, shorter, yadda yadda.
Just last week, a mid 20's something, somewhat hot lookin' guy at work, gave me a bottle of cold chocolate milk. I loved it!
I did not think for a second he was coming on to me. I DID think he was being nice, and I said so, in my surprise, voicing my appreciation.

I never assume any man is coming on to me, simply because we engage in a conversation, AND he buys me a drink. I do assume he is being friendly and nice, that's it!

LOL Submitted by an older and wiser woman. ( I checked, looked out the window, nope, not a shrew in sight!)
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 103
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 7:58:24 AM
Old Shrew checking in!!

At some of my many jobs I have had steady customers who weren't too much of a bother and who always tipped. Many times when I have encountered them at other venues I have bought them a drink and had a chat.

Once again the lovely Lady in Red is on point.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 104
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 8:01:58 AM

just last week, a mid 20's something, somewhat hot lookin' guy at work, gave me a bottle of cold chocolate milk. I loved it!
I did not think for a second he was coming on to me.


In all fairness, that's a completely different scenario than a woman taking the initiative to buy a man a drink in a bar, which we think of as "pickup joints". In a bar, it's an out of the norm gesture that the average woman wouldn't dare go through with unless there was actual intent behind it.

I dated a woman 14 years younger than I am at the end of 2015 very briefly. A younger woman's personality will make me feel older than her appearance will, and this was a rare one who had it going on upstairs. It doesn't spark any optimism in me about there being hordes more like her out there, though. So overall, younger women don't really appeal to me that much.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 105
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 8:44:21 AM

a woman taking the initiative to buy a man a drink in a bar


LOL Would this be better posted in the "Who pays" thread?

Pig, I do understand the difference between a bottle of cold chocolate milk, and a "drink" at the bar. If they are both cold, all is well!
However, as Spot noted, a woman is fully capable of buying a drink for a man.......................That's it! No strings attached!
Unless she gives further encouragement for his attention, a man may, very likely make an assumption, leading to a misunderstanding.
A DRINK, quenches ones thirst.
There needs to be further body language, to differentiate between a "Friendly-just being nice / buy you a drink" gesture, than from, "I'm hoping to jump your bones, buy you a drink."
There IS a huge difference!
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 106
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 9:06:42 AM
The scenario Spot presented was with men she had already developed a sense of trust in, though.

Any guy who dismisses a woman who is a complete stranger, in a one-on-one scenario, buying him a drink as a random gesture of generosity and friendliness is an idiot. There's been talk here about men being oblivious to signs, and that would be an enormous one.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 107
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 4:31:32 PM

(Ladyinred0407) Just last week, a mid 20's something, somewhat hot lookin' guy at work, gave me a bottle of cold chocolate milk. I loved it!
I did not think for a second he was coming on to me. I DID think he was being nice, and I said so, in my surprise, voicing my appreciation.

I never assume any man is coming on to me, simply because we engage in a conversation, AND he buys me a drink. I do assume he is being friendly and nice, that's it!


(*shrug*) I was, and am, open to the possibility that there was no carnal intent on her part: for example, she may have been wanting to use me as a "practice run", to get used to sending drinks to guys she *REALLY* wants to meet. That certainly is a possibility. However, it is *ALSO* a possibility that she wanted to engage in naked-bouncy-Yum-Yum-Time with me.

FTR, I am a big tipper at her place of work; further, p'raps she was just bored, and knew that I'd make for some interesting conversation (I *DO* have a rapier-wit, and a Sparkling Personality...). We'll never know, as that opportunity slipped from my grasp, like Jack's hand from Rose's...
 4Lky
Joined: 9/12/2017
Msg: 108
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 4:32:43 PM
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 109
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 4:49:56 PM
Arlo
Anyway, it was an obvious play for me

More likely a goodwill gesture from server to well-tipping customer.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 110
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 4:52:43 PM

FTR, I am a big tipper at her place of work

See my post above. You have your answer.
Standard hospitality quid pro quo. You give good service and/or tip well and people will show their appreciation in other venues. I have bought many a drink for regulars when I have seen them out. That is as long as I don't think they will take it for more than a thank you for being a good customer. If I am interested in them they don't have any doubt. Also had many bartenders buy me a drink outside their workplace.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 9/29/2017
Msg: 111
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 5:12:34 PM
Sometimes my doctor asks to see my lady parts. He wants me.
 zsuzsa62
Joined: 1/31/2016
Msg: 112
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 5:28:50 PM
^^^^^
Now that was funny!
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 9/29/2017
Msg: 113
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 5:38:50 PM
(Above.)

Oh great. Now clearly you want me, too.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 114
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 5:58:39 PM


(AT) FTR, I am a big tipper at her place of work.


(spot4username) See my post above. You have your answer.
Standard hospitality quid pro quo. You give good service and/or tip well and people will show their appreciation in other venues. I have bought many a drink for regulars when I have seen them out. That is as long as I don't think they will take it for more than a thank you for being a good customer. If I am interested in them they don't have any doubt. Also had many bartenders buy me a drink outside their workplace.


With respect, that isn't an "answer" -- it's anecdotal evidence from *ONE* person, suggesting *ONE* possibility. As I indicated earlier, I was (and am) open to the possibility that there was no slap-n-tickle on her mind. She could, indeed, just have been Platonically friendly, and it was just a NSA gesture on her part. I could have been a guinea pig for a Psych term paper. But, it's also possible that slap-n-tickle *WAS* on her mind.

For some reason, the mere thought of a much younger (and *SMOKIN'-HOT!!!*) woman wanting to make The Beast With Two Backs with an older guy drives some older women completely bonkers. Not sure why; but, it's kind of funny to watch, in a "Let's throw the cat in the swimming pool!" kind of way...
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 9/29/2017
Msg: 115
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 6:14:51 PM
"For some reason, the mere thought of a much younger (and *SMOKIN'-HOT!!!*) woman wanting to make The Beast With Two Backs with an older guy drives some older women completely bonkers. Not sure why; but, it's kind of funny to"

There are three possible explanations for this... phenomenon.

1) You're imagining it.
2) All these older women are driven to distraction out of jealousy, because they want you, too.
3) Older women can remember being young and feeling slimed by older men.

Choose wisely!
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 116
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 6:42:11 PM
Agreed that my scenario is anecdotal. I offered a possible perspective based on personal experience.

You are free to believe whatever you want to believe. I am sure that since she is actually interested in you that she at the very least got your number has contacted you. Let us know how the date goes!
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 117
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/22/2017 7:45:22 PM
Arlo Troutmen- " A few months ago, had this hot (and I mean *HOT* - *MILES* out of my league) 20-something girl buy me a drink at a local pub. I knew her from another pub, where she was a server, and I had engaged her in conversation about science-fiction; specifically, Dr. Who (it was unreal: a hot, young girl, who's interested in Sci-Fi? Holy-Moley...) Anyway, it was an obvious play for me (maybe she has a thing for older men; maybe she was into dispensing Pity-Fcuks... dunno, and don't care). Also anyway, like a big dummy, I didn't pursue it. Not sure why, but I know those darn pesky ethics were somewhere in the mix...

The point is, there *ARE* hot girls out there who are geeky, and who will pay attention to guys like me. Now, let the judgement from the older shrews begin... "

You should be careful.
There's a stereo type that only females get roofied. That can happen to men too, once she has your pin number.
Never fall for a scam, if it's too good to be true, it probably is.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 118
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/23/2017 3:55:57 AM


(AT) "For some reason, the mere thought of a much younger (and *SMOKIN'-HOT!!!*) woman wanting to make The Beast With Two Backs with an older guy drives some older women completely bonkers. Not sure why; but, it's kind of funny to"


(whatsamattababy) There are three possible explanations for this... phenomenon.

1) You're imagining it.
2) All these older women are driven to distraction out of jealousy, because they want you, too.
3) Older women can remember being young and feeling slimed by older men.


A fourth possibilty exists: older women don't want me, but they're of the, "I don't want him, but no one else can *DARE* to want him, and he's just a foolish old man who must be insulted and belittled for maybe, just *MAYBE*, having things going his way!" mindset.

For some reason, the idea that a younger woman just *MIGHT* have had designs on me seems to bother you -- enough to prompt you to attempt to belittle me. Why, I wonder?


(spot4username) Agreed that my scenario is anecdotal. I offered a possible perspective based on personal experience.


But at first you posited your scenarrio as "(my) answer", the implication being that it *HAD* to be what had happened, and there was *NO OTHER POSSIBILITY*. Like I said above, why does the scenario presented by me seem to bother you so much?


(spot4username) You are free to believe whatever you want to believe.


Thank you for the kind permission.


(spot4username) I am sure that since she is actually interested in you that she at the very least got your number has contacted you. Let us know how the date goes!


(*shrug*) More of your jealousy...

OK, guys, get ready for a slew of posts claiming not to care, while simultaneously calling me a delusional old fool in 3... 2...
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 119
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/23/2017 4:32:52 AM

But at first you posited your scenarrio as "(my) answer", the implication being that it *HAD* to be what had happened, and there was *NO OTHER POSSIBILITY*. Like I said above, why does the scenario presented by me seem to bother you so much?


I don't believe that I said there was no other possibility. If you can show me where I told you that is the only thing that could have happened I would like to see it. I offered up my own experience in a setting exactly like you described. I wasn't born at this age and my anecdote(s) didn't occur at this age. I have been the young, attractive woman buying the drink in the past. That is what I personally referenced. Incidentally the discussion of sci-fi (or fantasy) could also apply to me although it would be authors and book series rather than TV series.


(*shrug*) More of your jealousy...

Where do you get jealousy? I even poked fun along with you by saying "shrew checking in!" I do believe that I wished you luck on your future date. Perhaps you are desperate to see something that isn't there. Hmmm? So again, good luck with your sci-fi loving hottie!
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/16/2017
Msg: 120
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/23/2017 5:13:38 AM


(AT) But at first you posited your scenario as "(my) answer", the implication being that it *HAD* to be what had happened, and there was *NO OTHER POSSIBILITY*. Like I said above, why does the scenario presented by me seem to bother you so much?


(spot4username) I don't believe that I said there was no other possibility. If you can show me where I told you that is the only thing that could have happened I would like to see it.


Msg. 137: (spot4username) "See my post above. You have your answer."

You *DO* understand what "implicitly" means, don't you?



(AT) (*shrug*) More of your jealousy...


(spot4username) Where do you get jealousy? I even poked fun along with you by saying "shrew checking in!" I do believe that I wished you luck on your future date. Perhaps you are desperate to see something that isn't there. Hmmm? So again, good luck with your sci-fi loving hottie!


I had indicated that I did *NOT* pursue the possibility to a successful conclusion. So, what is the point of your missive, other than sarcastic condescension? Is it jealousy?
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 121
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/23/2017 8:56:35 AM

I had indicated that I did *NOT* pursue the possibility to a successful conclusion. So, what is the point of your missive, other than sarcastic condescension? Is it jealousy?


C'mon, Arlo. You were already baiting us older women by calling us "shrews" before we even had a chance to respond to your post. Now you want to act all wounded and indignant? Give me a break.

You:

The point is, there *ARE* hot girls out there who are geeky, and who will pay attention to guys like me. Now, let the judgement from the older shrews begin...
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 122
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/23/2017 9:02:53 AM

A fourth possibilty exists: older women don't want me, but they're of the, "I don't want him, but no one else can *DARE* to want him, and he's just a foolish old man who must be insulted and belittled for maybe, just *MAYBE*, having things going his way!" mindset.

For some reason, the idea that a younger woman just *MIGHT* have had designs on me seems to bother you -- enough to prompt you to attempt to belittle me. Why, I wonder?


I'm an older shrew.
As to the above quote...what the actual F*uck.
Is someone seriously fighting over someone they don't know fearful that someone else they don't know might want
this person even though they don't want them and this is somehow a cause for jealousy among other people we don't know?

If you've got hot geeky girls out there paying attention to you...what the heck are you doing in here?

As a shrew, I'm wicked jealous of absolutely no one.
 MsSkeezix
Joined: 7/1/2017
Msg: 123
Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/23/2017 9:10:40 AM

Is someone seriously fighting over someone they don't know fearful that someone else they don't know might want
this person even though they don't want them and this is somehow a cause for jealousy among other people we don't know?


Ummmm, yes. I think!?!

hahahaha from another old shrew ;-)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 124
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/23/2017 10:13:21 AM

I never assume any man is coming on to me, simply because we engage in a conversation, AND he buys me a drink. I do assume he is being friendly and nice, that's it!

If he doesn't know you -- it'd be naive to assume he's just wanting someone to talk to. It's about the only motivation. If he does know ya directly or indirectly, then, yeah, he certainly can just doing the general social thing.

had this hot (and I mean *HOT* - *MILES* out of my league) 20-something girl buy me a drink at a local pub. I knew her from another pub ....... Also anyway, like a big dummy, I didn't pursue it. Not sure why, but I know those darn pesky ethics were somewhere in the mix...

There was nothing unethical about feeling your way thru it to see if there was some interest, and to then progress. Heck, just going by signals that there Wasn't no-interest, nothing unethical about asking the gal for her # if conversation flows after her buying you a drink. However...

The point is, there *ARE* hot girls out there who are geeky, and who will pay attention to guys like me. Now, let the judgement from the older shrews begin...

Yes, pay attention to ya, sure. And you were a customer of hers, tipped her I'm sure many times -- she's saying thank you and it shouldn't be taken that she likes you as more than a friend Just because of that. You already knew her, already talked to her... bartenders & waitresses who you know over time will befriend you IRL (guys and gals). It's just that in and of itself isn't a sign of them like-liking you -- but it does give you the opportunity to fish to see if that's possibly there.

FTR, I am a big tipper at her place of work;

Even stronger backing not to take a gal you know from her work buying you a drink, in and of itself, as any sign that she wants you.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one says is dog ugly another will find amazingly attractive.

It actually isn't like that. Some want to believe that to keep their spirits high -- but that's not really the truth. Otherwise models and such on TV would look random or near random. I think it's more that when it comes to Unique looks/styles, the eye of the beholder plays a bigger role (up and down). That's why with not so good looking people, it's advised for them to adopt a unique look/style.

it's anecdotal evidence from *ONE* person, suggesting *ONE* possibility. As I indicated earlier, I was (and am) open to the possibility that there was no slap-n-tickle on her mind.

No, it's not just "one" possibility (and certainly not from one person). It's Very Common in the bar industry what happened to you, 100% platonic, nor Any Indicator of beyond-platonic. It's Common As Hell with No head-scratchers. :) It's no more different than over the years chatting here and there at her pub that at one point, you have a conversation when the bar's slow and they have you be a Facebook friend, among their many regular or former regular customers. That said -- it doesn't mean they DON'T want you. But to find out if they possibly do -- don't rely on that... that's what someone new to bar scenes would think. :)

You should be careful.
There's a stereo type that only females get roofied. That can happen to men too, once she has your pin number.
Never fall for a scam, if it's too good to be true, it probably is.

She works at a bar, she's served him -- she sees him in another by -- and converses with him and grabs him a drink since he's always been a big tipper where she's at. No indicator of her in position to roofie anyone, sheesh. :)
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 125
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Women making the first move...
Posted: 10/23/2017 10:25:56 AM
It seems like this may be a case like Mr. Dream Pig mentioned a few posts back.

There are those who want a move made and then have no idea what to do when it happens.

There are but a few choices:
Let them know you are interested
Let them know you are not interested
Act like a deer in headlights

Let this be a tale of caution. The one about the hot, young, Sci-Fi loving girl who got away.
Let's all have a moment of silence for this opportunity lost.
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