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Joined: 9/16/2006
Msg: 51
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it,s easy when you call the shots
 I love hockey
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 52
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 1:04:39 PM
I think you should be more ashamed if you do it too often than not.
And no, its got nothing to do with being a failure. You're only a failure if you let yourself down.
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 53
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 1:36:48 PM
I would be more ashamed of being a whore and having sex a lot with random people than not having it. Sheesh...
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 54
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 3:48:26 PM
no and yes.

ihaven't had sex since december 05. i've had chances since then,but im not the kind to have sex outside of a relationship. so I guess it is my own fault. if i was getting it from a FWB(friend w/ benefits). then that would be cool. but hey im single and prefer a relationship so i guess im not a whore dog...
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 55
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 6:14:07 PM
I'm in my 40s now, and still a virgin. And NOT because I want to be! I'm not ashamed of it, although I think most guys probably would be. In fact, I've decided to be entirely frank and open about it in the hope of someday maybe finding a nice, understanding woman to be my first partner.
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 56
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 11:12:34 PM
Nope, why would someone be ashamed of something like that. I don't know, maybe because it's my choice, I don't feel ashamed. Then again i don't possess a very high sex drive. i can't speak for others. who don't get offers every once in a while. aperson who may not get offers may feel messed up.
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 57
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 12:05:54 AM
nah, everyone goes through dry spells. it all depends on what sex means to you. i'd be way more depressed not being able to find someone to have a stimulating conversation with, then just sex.

figure out why it's not coming to you. and if u need to get your rocks off that badly, you'll hit the gym, get off the puter and go meet someone.

guys have to start thinking with their brains. i never worry about not having sex because i'm to busy finding someone who i want to be with.

gawd, people are horny.

Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 58
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 1:29:51 AM
I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm not ashamed of not having sex. I chose to not be in a relationship right out of another relationship. I think that was for the best. Now since I have a certain viewpoint on sex in that I don't just go off having it whenever and wherever I can, this limits the possibilities for me. But, ultimately this is a good thing for me in the long run. I'm a relationship guy, I'm not a casual sex kind of guy, generally speaking.

I've had opportunities since (not a shit ton, like 2, and I'm a fat bastard), but it just wasn't right for me.

I want to find someone that I like and can see myself being with, not just someone I think is hot.

And yes, I am incredibly horny.... all the time... forever....

the giggleparts - Jell-O is my new best friend
Joined: 12/11/2006
Msg: 59
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:31:14 AM

I'm going to speak in belladrama's defense a bit here. I have had the opportunity to get to know her. Needless to say it didn't work out and thats between us. But one thing is for sure she looks good and I'm willing to bet not another soul on here can say they know her. She does not check her emails on here, and it is not easy to grab her attention. Yes she has some colorful picture on here but has zero intentions of contacting any one. Oh and very picky...

I just seen this and wanted to say Thank you
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 60
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:38:25 AM
there's nothing to be ashamed of.

I am not ashamed when I do have it, and not ashamed when I don't have it!....that's life! Enjoy what life has to offer, or you will live it with regrets!
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 61
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:41:34 AM
Nope, I choose not to and I am proud of that.
Noone should feel ashamed about it..having sex does not make you who you just gives you pleasure. Its a 'want' not a 'need'..well lol not for everyone :p
But seriously, keep your head up..when you finally "hook up" it will feel that much better ;)
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 62
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:46:36 AM
^^, I agree never be Ashamed of who you are.

Your welcome Bella ;)
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 63
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 10:48:16 AM
Heck no!!!!In my case I won't sleep with just any woman,she has to be the total package,personality,hygeine,that kinda stuff! And sometimes it might be because you know deep down inside what your really looking for and just can't find that!there is nothing wrong with going without and try to look at it from this point of veiw,when you do hook up with a woman after not getting any in a while the sex can be more intense and fullfilling when that time comes!=)
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 64
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 11:19:45 AM
OP > "Have any of you felt ashamed or felt like you were a failure for not being able to "hook up" for a long time?...Do you ever feel down because you haven't had "it" for a long time, and don't see it coming to you any time soon?"

Personally, I don't feel ashamed about it at all. To me, having casual sex is not an option with me. I just don't believe in it. I've only ever "had it" with someone that I loved and loved me back. And if there happens to be a period of time in my life without a S/O, so be it...I'll wait...I'm ever the optimist that there is someone out there for me! Maybe I'm just a prude, but it's a choice I made and it may not be for everyone. To each their own!

As Ulao and CosmicDare have one should be ashamed of whom you are!


Sorry but I gotta point out the obvious....belladrama, sorry babe but you don't look too pick at all....

...your personality or lack thereof. True don't judge a book by it's cover unless you are looking at a playboy, and we all know what their cover shots are like.

Yes you are a very beautiful woman, but not, in my opinion, a well developed person psychologicaly.

Just my thoughts, but why are you judging Bella by what she has as a profile or for pictures? You mentioned don't judge a book by its cover but aren't you doing just that with your comments? Kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, in my opinion. If Bella's profile and pics offend you, then don't look. Just my two bits and no offense meant.

All my best to everyone in the New Year!

Happy Fishing!

Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 65
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/1/2007 6:01:19 AM
Like PolarExpress ^^^^^^ said, I like mine to be from a significant other that I have an important relationship with - not just casual. Am I ashamed I don't have 5 STD's, and need 3 different pills to cure them? Yeah right! - No thanks. Besides - having sex with someone is easy - it's finding someone to make it important and meaningful that's hard - and that's what I want. Won't settle.
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 66
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/1/2007 6:05:29 AM
Nope not at all.... I am happy either way... sex more often does not make me more valuable to myself or anyone else.
If I am not with someone who I intend to be with for a long time, I do not sleep with them.
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 67
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/1/2007 6:08:59 AM
InteractiveJohn, you obviously don't understand what personal value and worth is. Its not about how much sex you have. You need to visit a counselor!!! Until you feel good about yourself for the RIGHT reasons, you will always be sexless!! Unless the person you are sexing feels the same about themselves as you do. THIS IS SCARY!!!
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 68
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/3/2007 12:23:40 AM
It's been quite a while since i've had sex, haven't had a g/f or date in almost two years, put it all kinda sucks, o'well.
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 69
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/9/2007 8:43:55 AM
You may think that at my age it doesn't matter. It does. I have not hooked up in over 5 years, by choice, because there hasn't been anyone in my life worth loving like that. Do I miss it? You bet! But, unless I'm in a meaningful relationship, it ain't gonna happen. I don't see having sex as being a recreational sport, although it does take a lot of energy, if memory serves me correctly. No way am I ashamed for NOT having casual sex. And I don't want any of the awful diseases that are going around and I will ask for and offer test results before anything like that happens. Even senior citizens can get that stuff!
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 70
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/19/2007 9:23:50 PM
I think that you are a strong willed person and what you have said completly says the way I feel and think too. I so strongly agree that its not about just "doing it" to "do it"....Its about everything you listed. The passion and understanding....Way to go. Thanks for making me feel like I am not the only one out there!!!
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 71
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/19/2007 10:49:04 PM
Ashamed, absolutely NOT!! Frustrated, well I can fix That.. It's been 18 months and I'm very glad I've made this decision..Now I know if a man is seriously interested in getting to KNOW me or if he's out just for the free ride..Depends on why your ashamed..If its for your morale objectivity towards relationships, don't be..If its for reasons about yourself, then you may want to evaluate what it is, inside that makes you ashamed and fix it..
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 72
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Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/19/2007 11:44:53 PM
Some people out there feel that if they dont get laid they will die...or if there not getting sex there not normal...I have learned to love myself and try to be comftorble in my own skin....when am not "looking to get laid" things just happen by themselves....
To be at peace with your self is such a great feeling....I think our culture puts so much attention to sexuality...its every place we know what its okay not to buy into that!.........keep looking up and good things will happen!!!!
Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 73
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/20/2007 12:21:54 AM
Ashamed of not having it, umm hell no..
Miss it, hell yeah always did have a high drive..
But in todays day and age, I'll be careful, it ain't worth dying for..
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 74
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 8:10:27 AM
I have a friend..early 30's. Never had a girlfriend. I feel for the guy. He tries, but always winds up single. I'd say that is far worse then never having sex.
 Lenny with no Squiggy
Joined: 5/17/2007
Msg: 75
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 10:52:42 AM
I have sex all the time, unfortunately it's by myself.
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