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 jo~
Joined: 9/2/2006
Msg: 51
Ashamed of not having sex?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Ashamed??????

If I was then I would be walking and bumping into walls with my head pointing down towards the ground!!!!!!

Never!!!!!....Actually feels goooooooooood to know that I can manage on my own.......

Raising two teens on my own so it has been difficult to date......So I went without for many years now.......

Do I regret it????......NO!!!!!!.......Do I miss it?????........A definite YES!!!!!

Am quite frankly ashamed and insulted that people would make us feel this way!!!!!
 Drdoc07
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 52
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:07:46 AM
I myself used to be ashamed that I was not having sex. This was back when I was a virgin and my friends would constantly tell stories about their sexual conquests. Obviously I am not a virgin now and therefore feel no shame in not having sex for a long time. However, having had my last relationship end about 6 months ago, you can put me in slightly frustrated group (Thank god its not summer, or I would be going nuts!)
 KiteGuy321
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 53
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Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 11:32:39 AM

yeah i have problems picking up girls and talking to them.
im not very good at impressing them and getting them to take interest in me, thus i dont get laid very often and it makes me feel like a failure and very useless.


This is the feeling I was talking about in my OP...

You always read postings like, "I could go down to the local pub and get laid tonight, but I choose not to..." Well... I can't just go down to the local pub and get laid. I wouldn't even know how.
 Magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 54
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Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 11:55:51 AM
If not having sex brought shame, then I would have lived a life, drowning in shame.

But no, I could always make excuses about not having a date in years. The truth was that, by and large, none of the women I would have been willing to date, would have allowed me to come within 50 yards of them. That was an early version of long distance dating.

It was not so much the shame that bothered me, though, as the eternal, perpetual, never ending, constant loneliness, and the sleeping alone for thousands of consecutive nights.

But there was a bright side to it. I only had to buy one movie ticket. Never had to clean for company. Enjoyed huge savings, on never purchased romantic gifts. And I did not have to meet any women's parents.

Oddly, it was well past my 50th birthday, by the time that the women became interested again, and only after I grew taller, courtesy of high heeled boots, that my sex life was truly revivified.

There was no shame in not having sex, only deep regret.
 69_dude
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 55
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 12:00:32 PM
ashamed NO
watching more porn YES!
I find I masterbate a lot more so I am having sex... infact sometimes it is better to masterbate then to hook up!
a lot less stress!
and at least I know how to please me!
 davedouce099
Joined: 9/16/2006
Msg: 56
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Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 12:22:15 PM
it's so easy for lady,s you know u can get it,s ,harder for guys we have no clue when we will get some
 davedouce099
Joined: 9/16/2006
Msg: 57
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Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 12:25:44 PM
it,s easy when you call the shots
 I love hockey
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 58
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 1:04:39 PM
I think you should be more ashamed if you do it too often than not.
And no, its got nothing to do with being a failure. You're only a failure if you let yourself down.
 hot4teacher
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 59
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 1:36:48 PM
I would be more ashamed of being a whore and having sex a lot with random people than not having it. Sheesh...
 youmayneverknow
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 60
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 3:48:26 PM
no and yes.

ihaven't had sex since december 05. i've had chances since then,but im not the kind to have sex outside of a relationship. so I guess it is my own fault. if i was getting it from a FWB(friend w/ benefits). then that would be cool. but hey im single and prefer a relationship so i guess im not a whore dog...
 6thFinger
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 61
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 6:14:07 PM
I'm in my 40s now, and still a virgin. And NOT because I want to be! I'm not ashamed of it, although I think most guys probably would be. In fact, I've decided to be entirely frank and open about it in the hope of someday maybe finding a nice, understanding woman to be my first partner.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 62
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/27/2006 11:12:34 PM
Nope, why would someone be ashamed of something like that. I don't know, maybe because it's my choice, I don't feel ashamed. Then again i don't possess a very high sex drive. i can't speak for others. who don't get offers every once in a while. aperson who may not get offers may feel messed up.
 Hat_Hair_Be_Gone
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 63
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 12:05:54 AM
nah, everyone goes through dry spells. it all depends on what sex means to you. i'd be way more depressed not being able to find someone to have a stimulating conversation with, then just sex.

figure out why it's not coming to you. and if u need to get your rocks off that badly, you'll hit the gym, get off the puter and go meet someone.

guys have to start thinking with their brains. i never worry about not having sex because i'm to busy finding someone who i want to be with.

gawd, people are horny.

 giggleparts
Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 64
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 1:29:51 AM
I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm not ashamed of not having sex. I chose to not be in a relationship right out of another relationship. I think that was for the best. Now since I have a certain viewpoint on sex in that I don't just go off having it whenever and wherever I can, this limits the possibilities for me. But, ultimately this is a good thing for me in the long run. I'm a relationship guy, I'm not a casual sex kind of guy, generally speaking.

I've had opportunities since (not a shit ton, like 2, and I'm a fat bastard), but it just wasn't right for me.

I want to find someone that I like and can see myself being with, not just someone I think is hot.

And yes, I am incredibly horny.... all the time... forever....

the giggleparts - Jell-O is my new best friend
 Bwitching_Bella
Joined: 12/11/2006
Msg: 65
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:31:14 AM

I'm going to speak in belladrama's defense a bit here. I have had the opportunity to get to know her. Needless to say it didn't work out and thats between us. But one thing is for sure she looks good and I'm willing to bet not another soul on here can say they know her. She does not check her emails on here, and it is not easy to grab her attention. Yes she has some colorful picture on here but has zero intentions of contacting any one. Oh and very picky...

I just seen this and wanted to say Thank you
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 66
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:38:25 AM
there's nothing to be ashamed of.

I am not ashamed when I do have it, and not ashamed when I don't have it!....that's life! Enjoy what life has to offer, or you will live it with regrets!
 CosmicDare
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 67
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:41:34 AM
Nope, I choose not to and I am proud of that.
Noone should feel ashamed about it..having sex does not make you who you are..it just gives you pleasure. Its a 'want' not a 'need'..well lol not for everyone :p
But seriously, keep your head up..when you finally "hook up" it will feel that much better ;)
 ulao
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 68
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:46:36 AM
^^, I agree never be Ashamed of who you are.

Your welcome Bella ;)
 STRADDLETHIS
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 69
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 10:48:16 AM
Heck no!!!!In my case I won't sleep with just any woman,she has to be the total package,personality,hygeine,that kinda stuff! And sometimes it might be because you know deep down inside what your really looking for and just can't find that!there is nothing wrong with going without and try to look at it from this point of veiw,when you do hook up with a woman after not getting any in a while the sex can be more intense and fullfilling when that time comes!=)
 PolarExpress
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 70
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 11:19:45 AM
OP > "Have any of you felt ashamed or felt like you were a failure for not being able to "hook up" for a long time?...Do you ever feel down because you haven't had "it" for a long time, and don't see it coming to you any time soon?"

Personally, I don't feel ashamed about it at all. To me, having casual sex is not an option with me. I just don't believe in it. I've only ever "had it" with someone that I loved and loved me back. And if there happens to be a period of time in my life without a S/O, so be it...I'll wait...I'm ever the optimist that there is someone out there for me! Maybe I'm just a prude, but it's a choice I made and it may not be for everyone. To each their own!

As Ulao and CosmicDare have said...no one should be ashamed of whom you are!

OT:


Sorry but I gotta point out the obvious....belladrama, sorry babe but you don't look too pick at all....



...your personality or lack thereof. True don't judge a book by it's cover unless you are looking at a playboy, and we all know what their cover shots are like.



Yes you are a very beautiful woman, but not, in my opinion, a well developed person psychologicaly.


Just my thoughts, but why are you judging Bella by what she has as a profile or for pictures? You mentioned don't judge a book by its cover but aren't you doing just that with your comments? Kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, in my opinion. If Bella's profile and pics offend you, then don't look. Just my two bits and no offense meant.

All my best to everyone in the New Year!

Happy Fishing!



 nomenome
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 71
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/1/2007 6:01:19 AM
Like PolarExpress ^^^^^^ said, I like mine to be from a significant other that I have an important relationship with - not just casual. Am I ashamed I don't have 5 STD's, and need 3 different pills to cure them? Yeah right! - No thanks. Besides - having sex with someone is easy - it's finding someone to make it important and meaningful that's hard - and that's what I want. Won't settle.
 cherokeee51465
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 72
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/1/2007 6:05:29 AM
Nope not at all.... I am happy either way... sex more often does not make me more valuable to myself or anyone else.
If I am not with someone who I intend to be with for a long time, I do not sleep with them.
 cherokeee51465
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 73
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/1/2007 6:08:59 AM
InteractiveJohn, you obviously don't understand what personal value and worth is. Its not about how much sex you have. You need to visit a counselor!!! Until you feel good about yourself for the RIGHT reasons, you will always be sexless!! Unless the person you are sexing feels the same about themselves as you do. THIS IS SCARY!!!
 tHrAsHaHoLiCa
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 74
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/3/2007 12:23:40 AM
It's been quite a while since i've had sex, haven't had a g/f or date in almost two years, put it all together..lol kinda sucks, o'well.
 cheryllb
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 75
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/9/2007 8:43:55 AM
You may think that at my age it doesn't matter. It does. I have not hooked up in over 5 years, by choice, because there hasn't been anyone in my life worth loving like that. Do I miss it? You bet! But, unless I'm in a meaningful relationship, it ain't gonna happen. I don't see having sex as being a recreational sport, although it does take a lot of energy, if memory serves me correctly. No way am I ashamed for NOT having casual sex. And I don't want any of the awful diseases that are going around and I will ask for and offer test results before anything like that happens. Even senior citizens can get that stuff!
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