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Joined: 12/11/2006
Msg: 57
Ashamed of not having sex?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

I'm going to speak in belladrama's defense a bit here. I have had the opportunity to get to know her. Needless to say it didn't work out and thats between us. But one thing is for sure she looks good and I'm willing to bet not another soul on here can say they know her. She does not check her emails on here, and it is not easy to grab her attention. Yes she has some colorful picture on here but has zero intentions of contacting any one. Oh and very picky...

I just seen this and wanted to say Thank you
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 58
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:38:25 AM
there's nothing to be ashamed of.

I am not ashamed when I do have it, and not ashamed when I don't have it!....that's life! Enjoy what life has to offer, or you will live it with regrets!
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 59
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:41:34 AM
Nope, I choose not to and I am proud of that.
Noone should feel ashamed about it..having sex does not make you who you just gives you pleasure. Its a 'want' not a 'need'..well lol not for everyone :p
But seriously, keep your head up..when you finally "hook up" it will feel that much better ;)
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 60
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:46:36 AM
^^, I agree never be Ashamed of who you are.

Your welcome Bella ;)
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 61
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 10:48:16 AM
Heck no!!!!In my case I won't sleep with just any woman,she has to be the total package,personality,hygeine,that kinda stuff! And sometimes it might be because you know deep down inside what your really looking for and just can't find that!there is nothing wrong with going without and try to look at it from this point of veiw,when you do hook up with a woman after not getting any in a while the sex can be more intense and fullfilling when that time comes!=)
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 62
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 12/28/2006 11:19:45 AM
OP > "Have any of you felt ashamed or felt like you were a failure for not being able to "hook up" for a long time?...Do you ever feel down because you haven't had "it" for a long time, and don't see it coming to you any time soon?"

Personally, I don't feel ashamed about it at all. To me, having casual sex is not an option with me. I just don't believe in it. I've only ever "had it" with someone that I loved and loved me back. And if there happens to be a period of time in my life without a S/O, so be it...I'll wait...I'm ever the optimist that there is someone out there for me! Maybe I'm just a prude, but it's a choice I made and it may not be for everyone. To each their own!

As Ulao and CosmicDare have one should be ashamed of whom you are!


Sorry but I gotta point out the obvious....belladrama, sorry babe but you don't look too pick at all....

...your personality or lack thereof. True don't judge a book by it's cover unless you are looking at a playboy, and we all know what their cover shots are like.

Yes you are a very beautiful woman, but not, in my opinion, a well developed person psychologicaly.

Just my thoughts, but why are you judging Bella by what she has as a profile or for pictures? You mentioned don't judge a book by its cover but aren't you doing just that with your comments? Kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, in my opinion. If Bella's profile and pics offend you, then don't look. Just my two bits and no offense meant.

All my best to everyone in the New Year!

Happy Fishing!

Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 63
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/1/2007 6:01:19 AM
Like PolarExpress ^^^^^^ said, I like mine to be from a significant other that I have an important relationship with - not just casual. Am I ashamed I don't have 5 STD's, and need 3 different pills to cure them? Yeah right! - No thanks. Besides - having sex with someone is easy - it's finding someone to make it important and meaningful that's hard - and that's what I want. Won't settle.
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 64
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/1/2007 6:05:29 AM
Nope not at all.... I am happy either way... sex more often does not make me more valuable to myself or anyone else.
If I am not with someone who I intend to be with for a long time, I do not sleep with them.
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 65
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/1/2007 6:08:59 AM
InteractiveJohn, you obviously don't understand what personal value and worth is. Its not about how much sex you have. You need to visit a counselor!!! Until you feel good about yourself for the RIGHT reasons, you will always be sexless!! Unless the person you are sexing feels the same about themselves as you do. THIS IS SCARY!!!
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 66
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/3/2007 12:23:40 AM
It's been quite a while since i've had sex, haven't had a g/f or date in almost two years, put it all kinda sucks, o'well.
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 67
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/9/2007 8:43:55 AM
You may think that at my age it doesn't matter. It does. I have not hooked up in over 5 years, by choice, because there hasn't been anyone in my life worth loving like that. Do I miss it? You bet! But, unless I'm in a meaningful relationship, it ain't gonna happen. I don't see having sex as being a recreational sport, although it does take a lot of energy, if memory serves me correctly. No way am I ashamed for NOT having casual sex. And I don't want any of the awful diseases that are going around and I will ask for and offer test results before anything like that happens. Even senior citizens can get that stuff!
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 68
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/19/2007 9:23:50 PM
I think that you are a strong willed person and what you have said completly says the way I feel and think too. I so strongly agree that its not about just "doing it" to "do it"....Its about everything you listed. The passion and understanding....Way to go. Thanks for making me feel like I am not the only one out there!!!
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 69
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/19/2007 10:49:04 PM
Ashamed, absolutely NOT!! Frustrated, well I can fix That.. It's been 18 months and I'm very glad I've made this decision..Now I know if a man is seriously interested in getting to KNOW me or if he's out just for the free ride..Depends on why your ashamed..If its for your morale objectivity towards relationships, don't be..If its for reasons about yourself, then you may want to evaluate what it is, inside that makes you ashamed and fix it..
Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 71
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 1/20/2007 12:21:54 AM
Ashamed of not having it, umm hell no..
Miss it, hell yeah always did have a high drive..
But in todays day and age, I'll be careful, it ain't worth dying for..
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 72
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 8:10:27 AM
I have a friend..early 30's. Never had a girlfriend. I feel for the guy. He tries, but always winds up single. I'd say that is far worse then never having sex.
 Lenny with no Squiggy
Joined: 5/17/2007
Msg: 73
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 10:52:42 AM
I have sex all the time, unfortunately it's by myself.
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 74
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 11:06:45 AM
Nope, I have enough respect for me to not have casual sex with a stranger...

I'd rather pass up the offers and wait to make love with someone I'm emotionally involved with...
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 75
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 11:47:39 AM
Why would you be ashamed of yourself for not sharing one of the most intimate and special parts of yourself with any random stranger?

I have a good male friend, who I dated a while ago and he asked if I would like to look at a FWB type of relationship. I thought about it breifly because we are friends and do things together and he has asked me to do some traveling with him and we do have very good chemstry. But I couldn't do it, it's not who I am and I know I deserve better and want better for myself.
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 76
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 12:07:49 PM
Not ashamed. My divorce took a long time. Even though my marriage was OVER when I filed, I didn't want to break my " vow" until I was final. Or maybe I'm just chicken of some stranger seeing me naked??
Joined: 5/24/2007
Msg: 77
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 12:22:12 PM
ashamed....anyone want to make a video
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 78
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 12:34:11 PM
Why would anyone rate their value on whether they could have sex or not...*makes a face*

Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 79
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 12:35:18 PM

What I really meant to say was .......*ahem*.....the value of a person has nothing to do with sex...tah dah!
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 80
view profile
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/10/2007 1:10:08 PM
"brewing up" has its benefits

As for feeling ashamed - no, not at all! But being quite good with figures, I did account properly for this "deficit" , once my hands got set firmly on
Joined: 4/9/2007
Msg: 83
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/12/2007 1:22:51 PM

No way.

I don't have sex because I don't want/need it.
If I wanted sex, I would get it. Nothing to be ashamed about.

Others feel differently.
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 84
Ashamed of not having sex?
Posted: 6/12/2007 1:59:53 PM

Not getting any for a short period is normal, but not having sex over the long run definitely isn't, especially if you're a woman (which lets face it - its infinitely easier for her to remedy the situation vs a guy).

^^Thanks for the laugh....!
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