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 aquaplane
Joined: 9/22/2006
Msg: 26
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Dating for disabled peoplePage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
One of my best mates at Tech was dissabled, callipers on both legs and as ugly as sin to most folk. He was the nicest bloke I knew, always full of life and didn't feel sorry for himself at all, he just got on with life as best he could. He was a keen driver and always had sporty cars, it's amazing how many folk you can get on a Triumph Spitfire with the roof off.

He managed to hook himself a student nurse and was married for about 4 years. Very sadly he died at 25 and is sorely missed. Now I can't see to type 'cos I'm blubbing too much. Dissabled folks should and can date, it's how "able bodied" folk with small minds percieve them that is the main dissability.

RIP Stevie.
 Just 4 You
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 29
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 1/23/2007 7:11:51 PM
You haven't seen any Disabled People here on POF??? Well, you're talking to one right now!

I have Epilepsyand while a lot of women think I'm a nice guy and fun to do stuff with, when it comes to falling in love with her and hoping to start a relationship... I don't have what it takes (nice car, nice house, lots of money for vacations). I never knew those were pre-requisites.

On forums like this, you'll get a lot of women turning on their "It's okay, You'll be fine!" attitude, saying they'd go out with you. In real life though... not bloody likely.

The wives of many of my friends say I'm a great guy, and if they weren't already married, they'd gladly date me. But women who are single wouldn't even think about it. They want someone to drive them places, buy them dinner, take them on a vacation, and then she'll decide if she likes you.

Just 4 You
Victoria, British Columbia
CANADA
 stonecastle
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 44
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/20/2007 8:27:19 AM
I think that life must be terrible for most disabled people because they lack independence. It is having independence that allows you to go out and find dates.
 pappasmurf365
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 47
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 1/26/2008 10:15:08 AM
Mike here...my disability is 1 in 10.000 & I for one havn't had any problems in the past finding a young lady to date, I have dated able bodied young lady's before and i'll do it again, it's in the heart that counts and not what you look like, if a young lady see's beyond any kind of disability, they will see that we... as disabled people are just like everyone else, I have both disabled and able bodied friends both on here and around me, for the pof meets that I have personally attended NO 1 has treated me any different...true friends like, pantsonfire, Bluebrummie, Chrissy, Littlemisslonely, Mysterygirl, Jool33, Vin fourstar and a very personal and tue friend...Brummie_gal.
So you see... life is about getting along and not about petty squabbles...
 pappasmurf365
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 48
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 1/26/2008 10:33:20 AM
Pantsonfire...
In reference to the posting:" don't you think that segragating disabled people like that is Victorian and a draconian way to think... ?? And why assume only disabled people would want to date disabled people??? grrrrr..... "
I personally agree, disabled people may look or sound different but, we as disabled people have feelings e.g...the need to feel love and to be loved, pain, joy, happiness etc...I would personally ask anyone to swap places for 1 month, and see if that person could do the type of things that I personally have had to learn, take a look at my profile pic and tell me "do I not look happy", i'm trying at the moment to develop my dj'ing skills, as there arn't that many disabled dj's around.
 Steve_Sandy
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 55
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 1/29/2008 11:31:24 AM
reminds me, need to find time to go and see a friend, he spends his day in a wheelchair, crippled with MS, not fun....

tend to watch out for them, had one guy in a dark wheelchair zip across the road in an unlit car park the other day, looked like he had been having some time in the pub...

got no problems with "disabled" but do have problems with people who find it funny
 ableaussie
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 64
Dating for disabled people
Posted: 9/4/2009 7:33:41 PM
Never assume is right.
When people meet me am asked what happened and sometimes dumb questions.
I have never married,dont drink or smoke.
Not short of money and not on welfare as some would think.
Belong to clubs for disabled.
Its true most of my friends are disabled,and some have their own websites.
Most of us live almost normal lives.
Some have Devs as partners while others team up with like persons.
We dont all wear prosthesis as some would think.
Keeping life simple is the better option.
Many of us have shoulder,wrist & hip problems.
We know some prefer us which is fine,I dont mind Devs.
I say check out a few websites EG:Ascot World,Alldisabled,Dating4Disabled.
There are a lot like me looking.
Hope this gives you a better understanding.
 electric-gypsy
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 66
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/18/2010 3:12:41 PM

why assume only disabled people would want to date disabled people???


Bang on, Pants. My 12yo son uses a walking frame, and sometimes a wheelchair. He's girl-mad and all his "girlfriends" at school have been able-bodied. He doesn't even see himself as disabled. He gets mad if I even use the phrase "differently abled". He said, "I am what I am, the way God intended. Don't give me any labels." He's the dog's b*llocks, my boy!
 badge73
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 70
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/18/2010 4:59:20 PM

but do have a hearing impairment.


so does all the bints at wetherspoons hen and most of my exes did

do find the sites for disabled dating quite interesting as someone who is disabled, i mean i dont get many offers off women saying ooooh dont half find your stick a turn on, or am i missing out? one site i do use ive put down that im disabled and never had a inbox, so presume every woman thinks im bedridden or worse.

people are correct that there are different types of disabilities, and have indeed gone out with women who suffer from depression but they dont class themselves as disabled?

if there was a search facility asking for disabled/able bodied who on the site would admit to searching for someone disabled? just be honest with yourself and ask if you would .....
 nibbea
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 76
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/20/2010 2:33:23 PM
perhaps because its not that important.

I dont tend to put stuff about me that isn't positive on my profile, cant say its made any difference to me, or dating or otherwise.

dont get what the whole bun fight is about either.

Shona xx
 Just 4 You
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 77
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 4/13/2011 4:04:21 AM
I got diagnosed with Epilepsy at age 10 (1970), which resulted in my being sexually fixed in my teens. Being under legal age I had no say in the matter. All the Healthcare system needed was a signature from my parents to do whatever they felt was best.

I also got declaired Unemployable, Not allowed to get a Driver's License, and Not Allowed to get Married. I know the third one sounds stupid, but in 2008 I tried to get a Marriage License for my girlfriend and I (we both had epilepsy), and the Police got involved, sending me to the Sex Offender Program where I was forced to accept that it's wrong. We can be friends, but that's all.

Not Fair!!!

Just 4 You
 Just 4 You
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 78
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 4/13/2011 4:06:47 AM
I got diagnosed with Epilepsy at age 10 (1970), which resulted in my being sexually fixed in my teens. Being under legal age I had no say in the matter. All the Healthcare system needed was a signature from my parents to do whatever they felt was best.

I also got declaired Unemployable, Not allowed to get a Driver's License, and Not Allowed to get Married. I know the third one sounds stupid, but in 2008 I tried to get a Marriage License for my girlfriend and I (we both had epilepsy), and the Police got involved, sending me to the Sex Offender Program where I was forced to accept that it's wrong. We can be friends, but that's all.

Not Fair!!!

Just 4 You
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 80
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 4/13/2011 5:35:44 AM
just for you

i thought all that had ended, it's very sad to hear it's on going.
bambi: just look up eugenics and canada.
 JASMICK
Joined: 6/29/2010
Msg: 83
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 6/13/2011 2:16:23 PM
I'm from Glasgow and i find it hard sometimes as soon as you metion disabled it puts them right off. Not seen many ladies from Glasgow on here but would like to chat with any if they're intrested.
 badge73
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 88
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 6/22/2011 7:43:10 AM
i must admit disability and dating is a funny old game as the phrase goes, in a way a bit comical as could say to a crowd of people "put your hand up in the air if your disabled" i doubt many would raise their hand, a bit like a dating profile.

yet say to the same crowd "claim x amount if your disabled" watch you dont get caught up in the rush!!
 SamNMouse
Joined: 9/19/2011
Msg: 96
Dating for disabled people
Posted: 9/23/2011 7:35:39 AM
Hi all -

I too am a disabled man, and sad to say, my disabilities (I have 2), have been the proverbial 'brick in the road' when it comes to dating. Though 99% percent of women I have talked to over the years have told me that having a disability is not an issue to them (what is in the heart of a person matters most), I found that in truth ... yes ... the disabilities do play a factor in finding someone compatible. It is a sad reality in which we live, but I can also understand why my disabilities can be a stubbling block.

Like what is said above, not all women out there are willing to walk with a man who can't keep up, who tires out so quickly, whose income is far below the poverty level (Social Security), or who (let's be truthful), just cannot keep up with an individual who is not bogged down by health issues. (Not all disabilities inhibited people in such ways, but there are many which do.)

I, for one, have freely posted my disabilities within my profile. I am not ashamed nor embarrased of them - they are part of who I am. And while yes, they do keep me from performing as would another who is loaded with energy and healthy as ever, they have no effect on my ability to feel emotions, to laugh, to cry, to hold hands and cuddle, to kiss, to embrace ... to love.

As a very poor analogy ... seeking someone to share the rest of my life with and placing myself on POF openly disclosing my disabilities ... has been akin to scouting about for a new car. As you walk through the lot, you come across the car of your dreams, the one you have always prayed for, but sadly, it has rust along its doors, a bumper is hanging off, a window is cracked, there are holes in the seats, the horn and windshield wipers do not work and the paint is very worn and faded. To it's side is another (not quite exactly what you were hoping for), but it is spiffy and show-room ready with an engine that roars like something Nascar would be jealous of. It's eye appeal is attractive and you sit nicely within the seat. They both cost the same price ... only a down payment of a 'Hello', and monthly payments of a warm embrace and a smile ... it's time to make the choice ... what would you do? *fill in the blanks*.
 tori_ladybug
Joined: 4/20/2010
Msg: 100
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 9/23/2011 12:47:29 PM
I got spoken to on here by a guy whos reaction was you wont like me i am disbaled
Poor him got a rant...
A I have my own long term health issues who am i to judge?
B It was unfair he had prejudged me at all!!
C I actually have in part health issues due to my years of being a care worker so disability does not phaze me at all...
sadly for him I didnt meet with him as he was so busy using the poor me line on so many women he forgot what he had said to me... ( I dismissed him as a player after that shallow as i am admittedly am )
 SamNMouse
Joined: 9/19/2011
Msg: 102
Dating for disabled people
Posted: 9/23/2011 1:53:23 PM
For FoxyMoron74 - Thanks for the input. Yes, you are correct in saying that not 'everyone' is after the perfect, but sad to say, 'most' are.

It is very important in the beginning stages of a potential love relationship, to let your potential partner know up front. Who you are, and what you are all about. It is part of the building of a strong relationship. I mean, how would you feel if you had just dated a guy for nearly two years, got married, and during the Honeymoon he turns to you and says ... "Oh. By the way. I hate to drop this bomb on you so late in our relationship, but within the next few weeks, I'll be a quadraplegic. You'll have to feed me, change my diapers, and put away the life you always knew, to care for me. I will no longer be able to hold you and no longer be able to show you my love other than to pucker my lips for a kiss."

Truth be told ... most people would be devistated, and in fact would feel deceived that they were not told 'before hand'.

Now ... that is not to say that 'all' people would 'walk away' should they have been told 'before hand' ... but the sad reality is ... "most" people would.

While nearly everyone will say that it wouldn't matter, because they found themselves a person who makes them 'feel embraced for the journey life has for them', in truth, when those very same people who said such are actually 'faced with being told the truth of a persons disability', they don't live up to their words and shy away under the guise of some polite excuse. As a disabled man, I happen to know this to be true from personal experience.

"Yes" ... having a disability "is" a stubbling block that keeps most ladies from wanting to get to know the "Spirit and heart inside of me", and see that I too know love, what love is, and "can" - 'embrace them during the journey life has for them.'

I am 'physically' disabled ... not love disabled.

My late wife, lived her last three years very seriously ill and disabled as well. So much so, that her illness had taken her life. She had given me the greatest love I had ever known, and I do not now nor ever will regret having loved her.
 shanebetten
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 103
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 4/28/2014 5:12:45 PM
I have had 3 dates in 5 years and im only bipolar i used to date alot in my early 20s and got rejected because i didnt make enough money
 SteveD001
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 106
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 5/24/2014 4:21:37 PM
Ive been disabled since I was 11 due to an brain anyuersim (sp) but I have geen going to the gym since I was 17 so im in much much better shape than most regular men my age, I still have a slight limp and my left arm use is at 90% and my left hand use is at about 50%-60% I have a great career, a new house, no debt, a car, enough money to not have to worry about it mentally and physically a clean bill of health I have accomplished so much despite my disability and I have overcome great hardships, hardships that would make a person of normal mental fortitude hang themselves. There are many people that dont consider me disabled at all.

Dating is basically a disaster I guess I must look good in pictures and girls seem to like what I say in my profile because I get dates not a lot but fairly often however second dates are non existant. I dont consider it a confidence problem at all because i'm at a point in life where I just dont care If I get rejected, Ive already been through it all, it doesnt bother me anymore. I go on a date and i'm honest, friendly, positive and polite just like I am in real life . I do my best to show them who I am and get to know them and thats all I can do, Most women have nothing to offer me except thier company and friendship, I have everything I need in life . I dont need thier precious sex. In fact most of the women Ive dated on POF would probably be a burden on me to be involved with.

Ive been doing this a long time Ive seen enough to express some opinions to be honest I cant blame them. I put myself in their shoes an just figure why go out with a guy with a disability? she doesnt have to, shes probably getting 10-15 emails a day from guys with no disabilty so why settle for that when theres so many other choices? and its for that reason that I think guys in general can have problems internet dating. If you're not a raging alpha male that knows exactly what to say when to say it and are always on, It could be difficult to keep a girls attention.

I think rejection of disabled ( or short) men really is an almost involuntary action. Women intinctively want a man that will protect them from sabre tooth tigers provide for them and bare them healthy strong children. and if your disabled you can give the appearence that you cannot do those things. I think Most women would be the last to admit their superficial enough to care about you being disabled but the truth is they cannot get past that instinctive drive It could be subliminal. there also may be a bit of social stigma around being in a relationship with a disabled guy.

When it comes right down to it I guess Im the same way, there are some women I just wont date(although the % is very small) I'm not even gonna waste my time or theirs and if they message me I probably won't even respond. God bless them its not personal Its just that I dont think they are attractive. I dont feel bad about it because I know theres tons of guys out there that do.

I know it hurts and it can really be a big problem. but since one cannot rely on women in this part of the world to get past your disability. take a vacation,go somewhere on the planet where its not. these places exist, go there and get a taste of what its like. do it regularly and maybe someone will forget all the difficulties one has with women here
 wanted555
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 108
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 6/1/2014 10:37:53 PM
it would be great to have a disabled profile list! when you are disabled its not easy I know !
 AbstractAstra
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 110
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 6/26/2014 7:48:44 PM
I'm classed as disabled and met my partner on here. I have a friend who is wheelchair bound and also met her partner on here. I don't think it's an issue - if someone doesn't want to date a disabled person, it probably won't matter where they meet them.
 aleem076
Joined: 1/20/2011
Msg: 113
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 11/2/2014 12:42:57 PM
Awesome opinion about disability, I am trying to find a disabled woman for my self, think of serving a person who is offering you love. The woman in the western world are screwed, in the name of freedom they are screwing everything up. The old illiterate women were better with their partners, if this is what education brings up, its simply waste.
 Nottinghamfellow
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 114
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 11/2/2014 1:29:19 PM
Aleem, Aleem, Aleem. Spit on your hands and take a fresh grip. I beg you, do not transfer such thoughts onto your profile page. Even an uneducated woman will tell you where to go. . . Finding love and affection is a mine field at the best of times for all of human kind. .
 SteveD001
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 115
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Dating for disabled people
Posted: 11/8/2014 9:49:55 PM
Has anyone ever experimented with doing a self profile response comparison between mentioning your disabilty in your profile and leaving it out? I have, the amount of messages and responses I get is remarkable.. Its just human behavior.

also, in response to where those places are that you can go where your disability wont matter. Im not going to list any specific places where ive been but they are countries where theres a lot of poverty and safe areas for tourisim. you will need to do your research. you go to these places and go to a pub or dance club and guess what? your not a handicapped guy any more you are a rich westerner. Sure there may be a lot of girls that just want you to spend money on them but in these places a lot of money is 5 bucks. You will probably hit a lot of dead ends and meet some unworthy people but I guarantee you will have a lot of fun trying.

Its fun to be stopped on the street and have a cute girl give you her phone# for a change, have a girl come up to you and flirt, have girls fight over you. its like a total role reversal. I have hardly felt so alive in my life as when I have been there.
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