Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Calling Kids "baggage"      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 326
view profile
History
Calling Kids baggagePage 14 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

There's no reason to date a single mother if you can date a woman without children instead.

There's no reason to date a poor man if you can date a rich man.
There's no reason to date a fat woman when you an date a thin one.
There's no reason to date a short man when you can date a tall man.

Ok. Well, yeah, and...???

I wouldn't recommend dating a single parent either (and I am one), especially with children under 'taking care of themselves' age.
A parent's attention really can't stand the division.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 327
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 1:07:46 AM
Lol, the last few posts had me chuckling.

Some days I would drop my kids off at the fire station except one of the fireman would phone me back and say "Ally, please take your kids back. They are driving us crazy here...." That's the trouble with growing up in a small town, lack of anonymity. Plus my oldest two kids know all my contact information so no clean break for me.

Seriously though, in the future I do want to date. Kids are baggage, I fully agree. But just because I want to date doesn't mean I want to lock a guy into marriage or anything. I just want to date, that's it. I'll even go Dutch if it means I can have a nice night out with adult fun and conversation every once in a blue moon. I just don't feel like being celibate until I'm 50.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 328
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 5:28:23 AM

I just don't feel like being celibate until I'm 50.


But you were the one who said that everybody has the ability to be celibate, as long as they are getting their other psychological needs met.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 329
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 8:04:23 AM
I said that SOME people can be content with celibacy but not everyone. Sex drive has a lot to do with it. There are many people, mostly women, but many men too, who are okay with celibacy. And often, the longer someone is celibate the more they are okay with it.

My need for sex, I believe, is as much psychological as it is physical. I went a lot of years having sex with someone I did not enjoy sex with much of the time. And post-breakup I slept with someone I enjoyed having sex with immensely and being intimate with someone I liked felt really good, especially mentally and emotionally. It became something I really want to repeat. And I also have this need to be a little selfish by taking some time to be sexual with someone. My time is so bogged down with car I g for kids and being at work caring for sick and elderly clients, that I found sex to be a great release for tension. I've discovered I really like sex and get a lot out of it but only if I like and care for the person I'm having sex with.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 330
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 8:14:18 AM
It's a bad idea for a parent to put in their profile "My child/children are my whole life." I've seen it in a lot of profiles. Everybody knows that someone's offspring is going to be top priority, but it emphasizes the point that anyone new in their life will be at the bottom of the priority list, and dating will revolve around the kid's schedule, and plans can change at any second without warning. And it's also a turn-off if someone feels they have to check in with whoever is looking after the kids every 10 minutes while on a date, to make sure there isn't an emergency. A lot of parents almost feel guilty for going on a date when their kids are not at arms length. I'll pass up on that stuff.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 331
view profile
History
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 8:37:30 AM
Dating someone with children can certainly be considered dating someone with baggage. But so could dating someone with parents who need care, a sibling who needs care and who lives with the person, a person who has arthritis or some other ailment that limits them. There is all kinds of baggage. That blank slate, easy to get along with ALL the time person who has no long term ailments, no one for whom they have some significant degree of responsibility, and no complicating characteristics overall just don't exist after a certain age or stage, in my experience. Maybe it exists at twenty. But life happens and I can't see how it exists with people very long in life. I know all types of people who have apparently successful relationships with people who have various types of baggage. Live and let live. Be and let be. And give others a chance for your sake, not really even for the other person's sake. It may result in two or more significantly happier people in the long run.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 332
view profile
History
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 8:52:47 AM
I don't recall ever hearing a person in convo, use the term "baggage" to refer to some one's children.

As Curvylady mentioned, the majority of us, have someone / family / friends / a neighbor, who needs our assistance, in some way, shape or form. That's life. Very few people live alone on an island.

IF I met a man who had no ties to anyone, ................we were not compatible.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 333
view profile
History
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 8:59:12 AM
393
I know all types of people who have apparently successful relationships with people who have various types of baggage. Live and let live. Be and let be.


Do you mean experiences? Baggage is either something learned from or something that's is dwelled upon. Either way it could give some insight into a person's thinking. Unfortunately if it's dwelled upon it's not experience but baggage since it tends to be unpacked and shared repeatedly.
Children are only baggage to someone who isn't really interested enough in dating that parent and then whines about it.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 334
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 11:40:22 AM
Definition of baggage: Something financial, emotional, psychological (emotional/intellectual/mental), spiritual, social or physical that a person must dedicate significant time, money or energy dealing with. Baggage impacts a person's lifestyle and relationships with other people.

Single mothers have plenty of baggage, some more than others. So why in the world would a single childless man get himself involved with one? It's basically the same reasons they might get involved with a childless woman--sex, companionship, attraction, socialization, etc. As we get older, the less childless women there are and many men do find themselves dating a single mother eventually, especially if they are doing online dating. I just did a search of the nearby women from age 28 to 42 in my area and out of the first 20 search results, 14 were single mothers. That high number actually surprised me and I wonder if the results are replicated elsewhere. I also noticed that out of the 6 women who said in their profile that they didn't have kids, 2 of them said they do not want kids. So if a man wants a woman for a relationship to settle down with and have kids with, he has slim pickings. In the 3 months I was doing online dating, when I actually had a profile saying I was looking for a relationship, I did talk to several guys who didn't seem intent on finding someone for quick sex but they did ask within the first conversation if I was interested in having more kids.

There are many single guys out there who are longtime single, who are lonely who would pursue a woman with kids if they perceived they had a chance with her. And I think men who have closeknit families with lots of kids around are more likely to be happy in such a situation as a step-parent. Some people learn to enjoy the solace of living alone and others seek out or yearn for the chaos of a busy family around them. For instance, a guy who keeps going over to his brother's house to hang out and see the kids and have a nice home-cooked meal. When I was a kid we used to live next door to an old bachelor who was at our house every day because he hated being at home alone. He would spend hours at our house telling us stories and he's bring presents for us all the time and I think he just generally wanted to be in a family situation but he hadn't been able to find a wife. He'd apparently proposed to a dozen or more women over the years but no takers, I think because he was rather homely looking. I also think some men are better prepared to be step-parents than others. For instance, my brother is a great stepfather because I think he could relate to his wife's kids well because he had been a stepkid himself.

Of course children are going to be a woman's priority BUT a relationship, once it gets into a more serious stage, needs to be a priority too. I read a really good book of which the name I cannot recall right now is, but the point of the book was that a woman needs to put her relationship before her kids. This doesn't mean that a woman shoves her kids aside to please her man. On the contrary, it means that if a marriage gets prioritized, a strong marriage is in the children's best interest. Having a household with two adults in a strong, cohesive relationship is beneficial to children. And the new man (or woman) that is entering into the family unit, needs to be given a defined role. Obviously the role will be different with little kids than with teenagers. Yes, its a complicated situation, but with the right methodology, it can be successful. I'm nowhere near ready to consider pursuing such a situation with anyone but it's something in a couple years I might have a goal of.
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 5:34:55 PM

Of course children are going to be a woman's priority BUT a relationship, once it gets into a more serious stage, needs to be a priority too. I read a really good book of which the name I cannot recall right now is, but the point of the book was that a woman needs to put her relationship before her kids.


Don't take this the wrong way but you don't seem to like your kids too much and from what you post they sound like one huge burden to you. Just because someone writes a book does NOT make it a good idea. Your children come FIRST before any man, ALWAYS. Also they come first before YOURSELF and your sex drive. You had them, you owe it to them to be there for them always and put THEIR needs above your own, always. Instead of worrying about finding some loser who may want you to grunt a few more of these burdens out, put down the crack pipe, get your head screwed on straight and your priorities in order. REPEAT after me. MY CHILDREN COME FIRST.

HELLO! The chances of you finding a decent man thats willing to take on a ready made family is extremely LOW. You are so Naive I have NO doubt that alone increases their chances of being harmed. Some perv is going to use you to get to your kids. He will feed you the lines and you will suck it up like a love sick puppy. Smarten up, grow up, QUICK, for the sake of your children. This isn't a Harlequin romance novel, it's the real cruel rotten old world.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 336
view profile
History
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 5:52:57 PM
(our children come FIRST before any man, ALWAYS. Also they come first before YOURSELF and your sex drive.)

What does that teach children to grow into?

Matyrs do not make good parents.

In a real , solid relationship, the mate should have equal position to the children.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 337
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 6:23:37 PM

HELLO! The chances of you finding a decent man thats willing to take on a ready made family is extremely LOW. You are so Naive I have NO doubt that alone increases their chances of being harmed. Some perv is going to use you to get to your kids. He will feed you the lines and you will suck it up like a love sick puppy. Smarten up, grow up, QUICK, for the sake of your children. This isn't a Harlequin romance novel, it's the real cruel rotten old world.


I would date a single mother if she had all the qualities I was looking for. The problem is women ignore me like the plague, including single mothers. Single mothers will probably overlook the man who is actually interested in a relationship with them and choose some perv instead.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 338
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/13/2018 6:43:45 PM
there should always be a balance in how we raise children. Their needs must be met, but their wants...well, sometimes a great lesson to learn is that the world doesn't revolve around us, that sometimes we have to make allowances for the people we love (ie, mommy sometimes has to have a life, too). I was on the phone earlier today with a friend who's son was treated like The Little Prince all his life, and now she's flummoxed by what level of ***hole he's turned into, as his sister deals with a premature baby on oxygen getting a shunt installed.

of course, the guy wanting to date a single mom, also has to have the maturity to realize he can't get laid every time he wants, that his gf may have to pick up a sick child from school and spend the evening doing her work via computer that she missed that day. I have a married friend who is a stay-at-home mom, and we meet once a week so she can talk literature, plays, and movies to an adult (her husband could not be less interested, unless its comic books).

it may be a fantasy to have a clingy nympho with 38DD's. But even that gets old after a while.

ok, a long while. but still.
 JGL209
Joined: 5/1/2018
Msg: 339
view profile
History
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 12:04:28 AM
I don't call children baggage. I just answered no on the 'Would you date someone who has kids?' under the basic questions. That should suffice.. It's sort of tactless to label kids as baggage on a profile. I'm not out to offend anyone. But If I meet a woman who has children in real life I might consider it if I like her, but, on a dating site no. When I was in my early 20's I didn't care but I also wasn't going to settle down with a woman with kids. It just makes you question why she didn't do whatever it takes to keep her family together.. Especially if she's religious. I know plenty of people with no dads in their life and they're not playing with full decks emotionally on my opinion.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 340
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 12:25:59 AM

Don't take this the wrong way but you don't seem to like your kids too much and from what you post they sound like one huge burden to you. Just because someone writes a book does NOT make it a good idea. Your children come FIRST before any man, ALWAYS. Also they come first before YOURSELF and your sex drive. You had them, you owe it to them to be there for them always and put THEIR needs above your own, always. Instead of worrying about finding some loser who may want you to grunt a few more of these burdens out, put down the crack pipe, get your head screwed on straight and your priorities in order. REPEAT after me. MY CHILDREN COME FIRST.

HELLO! The chances of you finding a decent man thats willing to take on a ready made family is extremely LOW. You are so Naive I have NO doubt that alone increases their chances of being harmed. Some perv is going to use you to get to your kids. He will feed you the lines and you will suck it up like a love sick puppy. Smarten up, grow up, QUICK, for the sake of your children. This isn't a Harlequin romance novel, it's the real cruel rotten old world.


Cruel rotten world? What a grim perspective.

I think you are failing to understand a lot of the things I have said. You can be damn sure I love my kids. You have no idea the time and energy I spend day after day on them and I do it as a loving mother. However, when you say the words "My children come first" what does that exactly mean? Sacrifice everything, sacrifice your own happiness for them? Because doing that I don't think you are doing your children any favours. Children live what they learn. If kids see you doing all that self-sacrificing it will instill in them a drive to do that as well. I'd rather teach my children to strive for the best for themselves for their own happiness.

You probably don't know this about me but I've mentioned it in other posts. I hold a Bachelor of Human Ecology degree with a specialization in Child and Adolescent Development. A great deal of my studies regarded building resilience in children. Basically that means providing the conditions which lead to success as adults in children. And doing everything for kids doesn't do them a lot of good. There's a tendency in today's family dynamics to centre the family around the children. However, if you look at earlier generations, the family unit was centred around the parents. And when this was the case, children tended to be much more resilient. Unlike today's so-called "millennials" which are used to having everything focused on them.

I understand where you are coming from, worried about me holding on to the pathetic idea of one day finding a guy to join my family and thinking I'd risk my kids getting exposed to perverts or degenerate losers. It's a valid concern because it happens often enough. I worked 3 years in an adolescent group home, read the case files on maybe a hundred kids and many of their stories involve parents who didn't have their children's best interests at heart. So I'm not naive. However, I am hopeful that maybe in a couple of years, finding a good man will be possible. And I'm not going to commit to any man all willy-nilly. I grew up with parents that went through countless relationships, I had many different step-parents over the years. I remember so much about it all, was affected so much and I look at myself and my kids now and I definitely don't want to expose my kids to some some of the stuff I had to deal with. So if one day I do find a man I want to be with, he had better be a good man who can function in my family well. And my kids will have to be respectful to him, treat him as any other adult family member. I would like my kids to have an example of a good relationship. I'm only sorry that I did such a piss-poor job of giving them a good foundation to start off with but I can't go back and change the past. I can only go forward.
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 5:03:30 AM

What does that teach children to grow into?


jeesh, I dont know, probably a responsible adult who puts their children first. Something, children who come from a divorced home especially, need to know. They have already lost one parent, they don't need the other checking out.


Matyrs do not make good parents

Being a good parent makes you a Martyr? Okey, dokey. Put down the crack pipe sista.


And doing everything for kids doesn't do them a lot of good.

You are mixing up spoiling. Spoiling is giving your child whatever he or she wants. You can never spoil your child with too much time.


"My children come first" what does that exactly mean? Sacrifice everything, sacrifice your own happiness for them?


The fact you even ask this makes me question your judgment. It just goes without saying. I know someone who couldn't afford to feed both herself and her children, she would cook the kids dinner and eat the leftovers from their plates.

This whole notion of putting your relationship first is a throwback to patriarchal way of thinking of the 50's. This is 2018, men need to put their big boy panties on and quit whining and feeling threatened when a woman puts her children first. No mother in the animal kingdom puts their offspring second to a mate, their job above all else is to protect and provide. The best male mate would be one that actually loves the offspring as much as the mother and also understands the children come before everything else. They would both work toward that common goal.

Yes, your children always come first, especially when they are from a broken home. Kids often feel destabilized and rejected. They also blame themselves for the break up. You speak of resilient children, I believe what you were speaking of was in a two parent family. When there are two parents one gets the option to check out for awhile because they know the other is there to pick up the slack. YOU don't have that option unfortunately, YOU are all those little souls have. Dad and his phone calls with the new girlfriend who doesn't pay support is NOT a good role model. Now you want to take up with some dude possibly have more children and make him king of the house. Do you not think this would cause even more upheaval in their lives?

I don't think you are trying to screw your kids up on purpose but I think the naivety is glaring. I hope you take this not as an attack but in the spirit of which it is meant. Everyone needs time to themselves, I get that, you just need to be realistic. Your chances of meeting a decent man who will want to take on a family is extremely limited. Financially and emotionally most men are not going to want to go there. That leaves a whole bunch of unsavory characters out there that you need to keep FAR away from your children. Meeting men on the internet and sleeping with them is just asking for trouble, I'm sure the kids would like to have their mom around, especially since dad has already checked out. Call my perspective grim all you like, I call you naive. Someone needs to give you a wake up call before it's too late.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 342
view profile
History
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 7:11:00 AM
(Something, children who come from a divorced home especially, need to know. They have already lost one parent, they don't need the other checking out.)

I once heard someone say that the best thing you can do for children is to love you spouse.
How would you be checking out from your child if you loved yourself as much as you love them?

(Being a good parent makes you a Martyr? Okey, dokey. Put down the crack pipe sista.)

Okay, you obviously need it explained to you. Children do better in a two parent home. A parent putting kids first often means an unhappy parent raising unhappy kids. Finding a balance for both the kids and adults is necessary for all involved.

Do not project your world of sistas with crack pipes on others. It makes you look bad.

More people need to think before having children. Being childless can be a good, satisfying lifestyle.
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 8:15:43 AM

How would you be checking out from your child if you loved yourself as much as you love them?

Since you are having problems following along I guess i will have to explain it to you The poster I was addressing is single. These children have lost one parent, they need the focus of the parent who is still in the home. Taking up with any Tom,****or Harry and subjecting her children to that is NOT in the best interest of her children. Especially since they have effectively lost one parent already. Checking out is selfish, if you can't put the needs of your children above your own YOU shouldn't be a parent.


Okay, you obviously need it explained to you. Children do better in a two parent home.

If they are the natural parents I might agree but statistics prove single mothers up the chance of their children being molested by a huge percent when they bring another male into the home. Also, sometimes when parents divorce kids do better in a home with one parent, especially is there is substance abuse or other issues.


Do not project your world of sistas with crack pipes on others. It makes you look bad.[?quote]
Nice try but I live no where near the trailer park or crack pipes but since it struck a chord with you this must be your reality. I kind of figured, you seem to have the mothering mentality of someone from the trailer park. It's all about you and YOUR needs.


More people need to think before having children. Being childless can be a good, satisfying lifestyle.[\quote]
Yes, I agree. Especially those who haven't the common sense to make their children their first priority. Those that already have children they can't afford and are living in their parents homes should also think before bringing anymore children into that mess.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 344
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 8:23:06 AM
Exactly Moraima. It is a matter of trying to find that balance.

I struggle at times with the being a happy parent and if you judge me for that, I don't think it's fair. Sometimes after working a 40+ work week in a job which sometimes takes a mental toll and looking after 3 kids all the rest of the time gets to be a lot, I get exhausted and tension builds and unhappiness and then I'm not the best parent I can be. Wanting to go out once a week is not a terrible thing. It's necessary. After I go out and relax for a few hours, I feel better, the stress that's built up gets relieved and I truly enjoy my time away. The same way a stay-at-home mother in a two-parent family feels getting to go out at the end of the week. It's called self-care and it makes you a better parent, a better healthcare worker. Going out is not abandoning your kids unless you are neglecting them which is a whole other problem.

Just because I'm optimistic about finding a guy to settle down with one day, maybe a couple years from now when I'm ready, doesn't mean I'm not a realist. I know the odds are slim. But calling me a crackpipe smoker and naive is bull.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 345
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 8:32:16 AM
And I will re-state once again, my reasons for living at my mom's are not because I'm broke and can't afford it. I'm having a lot of trouble finding a place to rent with kids. I have applied at 19 different places already and no one has accepted us. There's a lack of rental units in the area and unfortunately it will take me about 2 years to save up a down payment to buy a house. My mom does also help a lot with early morning childcare which I also haven't been able to find because most daycares don't open till 7 And I need one for 6am. I know damn well I am not in a position in my life to even consider a relationship with anyone. I'm just saying that it's something I aspire to have in the future. But Stratoswitch above thinks it's selfish and crackpipe to think like that.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 346
view profile
History
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 8:43:26 AM

In a real , solid relationship, the mate should have equal position to the children.


All things being equal, the question of position in any relationship or family would never be an
issue. It's not like people spend time figuring out who mom likes best when things are hunky dory.

When it does become an issue, my kids are definitely first. Can't imagine being placed in such a
situation, but yeah, I would choose them over a relationship if I was asked to make a choice. Most
people are never asked. I'd probably beat the stuffins out of someone for my kids, if necessary, but
again...hasn't happened yet nor do I think it will.

My kids are independent (and freaking awesome), but if they needed me for something, I'd push
someone in a walker to get to them.

I'm mostly kidding kind of...not.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 347
view profile
History
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 8:44:19 AM

I have applied at 19 different places already and no one has accepted us


Are these people denying you because you have children? That seems backwards.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 348
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
Posted: 5/14/2018 8:51:05 AM
I think just about everyone in this thread has made a valid point.

Yes, children need time, attention, cost $ etc.

Yes, adults need down time for themselves & to be more relaxed/a better parent.

Some people view kids as baggage, some don't.

My personal experience was was 2 sons on the autistic spectrum. It probably was more work than some other kids, in some respects.

One thing we had to do was have group & individual therapy.

I was told repeatedly that I had to establish boundaries w/ my children & that it was healthy for me to have friends & date men, etc.

I was told by a therapist get a cell phone, (years ago) go out even if for coffee locally, I was told try on line dating.

I was told I needed a vacation once a year, alone, w/o the kids.

I was told to take a small amount of $ out of the household budget & earmark it for a small luxury for myself, bec. there will ALWAYS be bills & the kids will ALWAYS need stuff. ($10 a week)

Although my kids are on the spectrum, as adults now, they function fairly well. The older one, much more so & well known in his community.

Miss Storm, I am not in here that much, but I worry about you. I see a pretty, smart & hardworking woman. Yet you put yourself down at times...I think any half-way decent man would be happy to have you as a life partner.

You've been meeting the wrong types of men, as soon as you yourself think you are worthy of a good man, it will happen for you.

When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 349
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 8:53:27 AM
julystorm7 in another threa

In the 9 years we were together, I never named my ex as a beneficiary on my life insurance or anything...
I have never been able to say "I love you" and mean it. It makes me sad. My ex said it often and I'd pretend I would by saying it back but I never for one second felt it.


But you were willing to live with him and have children, even though you never loved him. Were you just using him as a sperm donor because you had baby rabies? What are you going to tell your children when they get older and ask about their father, and why he isn't around? Are you going to tell them that you never loved their father, but decided to have kids with him regardless? What's that going to teach them about relationships?

But now, you want the (revised) fairy tale life, where you meet someone, fall in love, move you and your kids into his house (to get you out of your mother's house), and have him gladly financially support kids that are not his. That's a long shot as it is, but if a guy was to find out that you were willing to live with a guy you never loved for nine years, as well as having kids with that guy, that's going to make any guy think twice about getting seriously involve with you. How is a guy going to know if you actually love him, or if you're faking it, just like before?
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 350
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/14/2018 9:04:27 AM
Technically, it's illegal to deny anyone housing due to family status. It's guaranteed in the charter of human rights and if a landlord is proven to deny anyone, they can be charged for discrimination. However, they can be selective in who they accept. Because my area is relatively small, I have noticed that when housing is posted on online garage sale and elsewhere it is often the same families applying over and over. And because I work homecare and know a lot of people I have found out many of the people getting accepted are either older or are childless couples or single people. I understand not wanting to rent to someone with kids. Many of the apartments for rent are in in buildings that don't have any kids and the landlords like a quiet atmosphere without a bunch of little kids making any noise. And a lot of the houses for rent are houses that have been fixed up to sell and are on sale (meaning if they sell, you have to move out if you are a renter) so kids would be a risk. Pets, too, are a no-no. I have also found that when I was with my ex, I had a lot easier time finding a place to rent. I think sometimes I do get denied because I am a single mother. The only family rental housing which exists where I am is the subsidized housing which I don't qualify for because of my income. If I moved away to a big city I could find housing much easier I believe because There's better vacancy rates and more housing targeted to families but I don't want to remove my kids from the extended family support system that they have.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Calling Kids "baggage"