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 Man In New Hampshire
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 26
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Calling Kids baggagePage 2 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
"But family and kids, etc. must be dealt with and often. There is no escape, thus the term "baggage."

I just call that having a life.

Some hobbies can take a bit of time out of a week. Golfing, car racing (being on a team, not just attending), attending sporting events, and many others.

Having a life isn't baggage. It's just being a normal human.
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 27
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 8:43:50 PM

"living reminders of mistakes made on a camping trip"?

umm living reminders..for me my children are reminders of how wonderful life is..were YOU a living reminder of a drunken night camping?! is it bringing up some horrible memories for you..
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 28
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 8:51:55 PM
Iam not a mother but I love kids.I baby-sit 3 wonderful boys who I love like they were my
own.Iam very protective of my little cousins and kids that are under my care.Iam going to
be an aunt this Spring and I'll be very protective of my niece/nephew.I love children,and I
don't need to be a mother to know that children are a huge blessing.Not everyone can have
kids.It's horrible to call kids "baggage"-that's like calling them unwanted,useless trash.And
no matter what the situation,it's the kids that are caught in the middle and who pay the
price.A lot of parents out there don't seem to realize that their actions,words,and lifestyle
affects the kids.Kids are our future and it's such a blessing to have them around.People who
don't want to have kids,or have any more should get "fixed" male/female or use a little thing called birth control.No matter what the situation,kids are a blessing,not "baggage".And if
people don't want to get involved with anyone who has kids then-as one poster said-put in
your profile a polite way of saying that you don't want to date anyone who has kids.Calling
kids "baggage" is just as bad as calling a baby/child that wasn't planned an "accident" or a
"mistake".It's not right to drag kids into situations that are beyond their control,and get no
say in.
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 29
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 8:53:39 PM
Look lady not everyones idea of "a life" involves selfless devotion to children. Have you entertained the thought that someone may not share the same view as you? There ARE people in the world who value living a full exciting life without the perilous chains of children holding them back from all that life has to offer. Perhaps you should stop being so arrogant to think that only your view of children matters.........
 Speaking of which...
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 30
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 9:14:30 PM
>>I think ex wives are more baggage than kids, and severe emotional damage is also baggage.. but kids aren't<<

Ex wives/ex husbands, for some for a time, yes. Emotional damage, for some for a time, yes.

Kids? Sure! Mine are made of the smoothest leather, the most delicate lace, the softest cashmere, the strongest cotton, the most durable wool and the warmest fleece. Finest baggage there ever was. I rarely travel without them.
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 31
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 9:34:50 PM
I wouldn't call them "baggage" out loud, that's just not polite. But I wouldn't feel offended if people felt that way privately. If I was a single mother, I'd have to accept that a lot of people would feel that way and it's their right to feel that way.
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 32
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 9:43:04 PM
Hey,buddy,I didn't say that only my views matter,and I wasn't putting down anyone who
chooses to live life without kids around.And like everyone else I have the right to express my opinions and views without getting attacked.People who go out of their way to attack
anyone who made an opinion that you don't agree with are just bullies,cowards,and idiots.
Apparantly,you have nothing good going on in your life when you attack me for expressing
my opinions.A real man would not be so abusive,rude,and disrespectful just because someone
said somthing that you don't agree with.People like you aren't worth a flying crap.
Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 33
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 9:51:44 PM
Referring to kids as baggage is directed to not being interested in harvesting a relationship with the single parent. I strongly doubt that it is meant in any derogative way towards the kids in general. Sure, kids are great and are our future and the whole shebang. I have two nephews, I love to see them and miss them when I go…

Those people who mistreat their kids and do not give them the attention and love they deserve have there reasons, I am sure of it, but wouldn’t the world be a better place if they had left it for others to harvest a flourishing future.

The truth of the matter is that single parents are such because of their own life happenings/choices. Part of my choices is to decide if I want to share a partnership with them and their kids. If I can help it, I would much rather share a relationship with a childless women. What I have in my profile is the absolute truth; I am undecided/open towards having kids. If the conditions would be favorable, I would love to have a family of MY OWN with a loving partner…

It is not the kids that are frowned upon by me but the situation in general. I do not walk around town giving hateful looks to every children I encounter… perhaps in my nineties… lol

It is not selfish to overlook single parents, people have preferences and that is all. If it is selfish then most are selfish to make their decisions according to looks, money, race, height, mental stability, sex…

Baggage is an expression that makes little sense anyway, we where all meant to travel…
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 34
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 9:58:48 PM
Baggage is just a word really. A lot of people don't want to date someone with children because they don't want to get tied down. A lot of people call pets baggage, and that's ok too but they don't get very far with me children are a blessing and to all the single parents out there, don't give up hope. There are a lot of people who are more than willing to date a single parent and care for their children. If someone doesn't want to date you because of the children, that is their preference.
Joined: 9/22/2006
Msg: 35
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 9:59:35 PM
This reminds me of a story about a guy who asked his neighbor if he could borrow his axe.
The neghbor said, "No, because I have to make soup." So it really doesn't matter what his reason was, he simply said NO.

I agree on one hand that it would make more sense to just say NO, but then there are questions to which the answers could never be sufficient. Maybe the guy just doesn't want children in his life at that point, and even more so somebody else's children.

Having said that, I have four children of my own and of the 3 dates I have had since my marriage blew up, one had only 1 child and he other 2 each had 3. I would not consider a prospective consorts children in my decision of a future with the woman.

At the same time even the natural father in any healthy relationship will mostly take the back seat to his children, and does so willingly or the relationship won't stay healthy very long. In many cases then, the man that would date a woman with children may very well find himself windsurfing on the roof rather than occupying the back seat.

Of course for the right woman, this would be a small price to pay.

Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 36
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 10:05:12 PM
Well, in a relationship sense, "baggage" does mean something negative. When you refer to their kids as baggage you ARE indirectly putting down the choices they made... Because the word has come to have the connotation of being an emotional weight you're dragging that needs to be gotten rid of. If the person is happy with their children, then the kids aren't "baggage", plain and simple...

And the person with the kids deserves someone who sees the children not as some sort of "living carryover" but as human beings they'd want to share their life with should they get involved with the parent.
Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 37
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 10:12:57 PM
Of course for the right woman, this would be a small price to pay.

That is, at the right time in your life... I would bring little but pain to a mother and
her child at the stage where I am in life currently...

"The right woman" as great meaning here... There is nothing that makes my skin crawl
more than a woman who advertises her children more than herself on here (pof). If a man will enter in a relationship with you let it be for you. Mentioning that you love your child is beautiful and something that warms my heart every time but that + "yes" is amply enough mention...

As for the meaning of "baggage" when it comes to relationships, everybody has them and children are far from being the worst bearing you could put on a person.

I live in my baggage and some of them will stay with me for the rest of my life... baggage are something that you carry/bear around... children do need support and what kind of man would love a women and deny that to her children?

It is rude to shove it in there face though... Just as it is rude to tell somebody... "No, I wouldn't go out with you because you are a "Fat azz"... because you are "bu*t ugly"..."

It is impossible to change the world to fit your needs but your needs can be re-evaluated
in order to fit the world...

Edit: Reaction to the post bellow... "You had some fun, now push your fun"... lol

I say women and men as in the way I see thing as a man... happenings or choices children mean extra responsibilities... Then, if you get to love them and the relationship goes sour, it means all that much more pain will be included in the seperation...

All and all, love should conquer all and the love for your child should be most important
of all!
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 38
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 10:31:27 PM
woman are wh0res they always fall for the a$sholes god this should be called plentyofmilfs i would never date someone with baggage cause if a woman gets pregnant buy some a$$hole they she deserves to be alone stick with the nice guys u wh0r3s
 Speaking of which...
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 39
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 11:11:14 PM
Mohawkstud905 -

Wow - you are the reason some women go on the pill, get their tubes tied, become nuns, have shots, NEVER DATE. Oh boy are you a miserable person today. Who kicked you twice when you were down???? SHE is not the rest of the female population, believe that.

By the way, I didn't 'get pregnant by some ***hole'. I had children with a MAN (he also happens to be a NICE GUY) who loves his children. You are jaded beyond belief. I wish you some relief on that, I really do. Why are you even posting on this site anyway???

Um, yeah. I think I just replied to a 'nonety' here. Oh well, couldn't resist putting my 50 cents worth in!?! LOL
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 40
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 11:59:15 PM
I like Mohawk's use of "leetspeak." Makes him sound EXTREMELY intelligent. I suppose that little girl in the picture is the child of some whore??

ANYWAY....I don't think "baggage" is a nice term. But obviously it means different things to different people. And I'm sure some people don't feel that it's insulting or rude; it all depends on their interpretation of the word. I wouldn't get offended by it. It's just causing you undue stress.
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 41
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 12:08:19 AM
I agree its not cool to say that.but I think people need to be honest about how they feel...and what do u mean that the majority of people with kids are well rounded? I agree that you may miss out on meeting someone really great..but it is not a separate deal...that great person does come with someone else that u have to click with...depending on the age of the child it can be very difficult..there are many factors to relationships change over time..
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 42
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 1:19:20 AM
I think what most men mean when they call kids baggage is that when you get into a relationship with a woman with kids you are getting into a relationship with everyone. And its very difficult for a child to have a mother and guys that come into their life and leave. Its a very stressfull situation for everyone. And I am sure that the reason why men try to avoid a woman who has children.
 box within a box
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 43
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 2:06:31 AM
Ever watch Jerry Springer? hmm
Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 44
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 2:27:13 AM

Look lady not everyones idea of "a life" involves selfless devotion to children. Have you entertained the thought that someone may not share the same view as you? There ARE people in the world who value living a full exciting life without the perilous chains of children holding them back from all that life has to offer. Perhaps you should stop being so arrogant to think that only your view of children matters.........

I'm sure there are many who do not share in the OP's opinion. They do however have a more respectful approach to voicing those opinions. By the tone of your written reply I think you have however, gotten her arrogance confused with your own self indulgent narcissistic attempt of letting us know how you truly feel. Not everyone wants children, and that’s fine. To condemn another’s life style, based on a need to belittle, is a very immature and unwarranted act. Remember your parents chose to have you.
Joined: 11/29/2006
Msg: 45
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 5:33:25 AM
I think it's important to remember that love/sex/dating/marriage and all that goes with it can be tough when you are trying raise kids. If you are a parent with priorities in proper place, kids come first. For many, having chosen not to have kids or to have already raised their own, a potential partner that has kids at home isn't really conducive to finding what they seek. For others, it's no big deal. Either way, honesty and respect are essential. Deciding another is not what you seek should never be a value judgement, neither should it be taken personally.
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 46
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 6:44:08 AM

"living reminders of mistakes made on a camping trip"?

What a cold calious remark to make! Typical though from someone who has never recieved pleasure from children. Geez, so glad MY 24 year old son doesn't think this way. I guess he's not 'self centred' like some people, not mentioning any names of course. Good luck in finding the person you spoke of in your profile, cause your not a 'nice guy' your an a***hole!

Back to the thread........referring to children as baggage is wrong. I see my children as the 'other half of ME'.
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 47
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 7:02:06 AM
On another thread, one person said it best (This of course won't apply to every woman's kids, but I've seen it all too often, and experienced dating women with monsters for kids). I would try to get their premission to reprint this, but that person doesn't have a profile posted. So, here goes:

Yes, once you hit forty and are a single male, you are now expected to take over the maintenance of another man's (or men's) children. You're not allowed to have the joy of nine months of anticipation and delivery of your child. You're supposed to be happy that the moment you say "I do" you're the proud surrogate father to another man's (or men's) children ranging from a few months old to rowdy teenagers. You, of course, will not be allowed to discipline them consistent with your beliefs and values and your home will forevermore be torn apart by weekend visitations, travel limitations, and the continual fight between your new wife and her ex(s). The bio-father will likely undo any values you try to instill in your step-children. On the plus side, you might find yourself in a new tax bracket with the additional child support money rolling in.

I would rather marry a woman who couldn't have children than to get myself into the situation above, which I see all too many guys get themselves into.

And that's why they're so often referred to as 'baggage'.
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 48
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 7:02:50 AM
from Mohawkstud's profile:

ok lets start of with all woman are ****ed up i know i sound like a fcking a$shole but u woman do it to yourselfs your all slutty moody gold digging whores all of u on this website your all skanks and thats all u will ever

and from his quote above:

woman are wh0res

Hey, mohawk, I think your account must have been hacked. After all, no one would seriously get on a dating site and say this kind of complete and utter crap, would they? I mean, a guy that said that kind of stuff himself would have to be a total idiot and utterly unfit for human company. He'd be a misogynistic a**hole who should be checked into rehab. He'd be someone sane people wouldn't leave alone with their children. He'd make himself completely unattractive to all women, not just the vast majority of them.

Mike (those scampish hax0rs)
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 49
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 3:43:18 PM
hypnotik majik.....
<div class="quote">There ARE people in the world who value living a full exciting life without the perilous chains of children

This is a reasonable comment to make, however, those that do CHOSE to have children should not be condemed for doing so. People like 'Mohawkstud' for example have no right to degrade women for wanting children, and the children should be respected and not degraded. There is another thread on living life 'child free', this is NOT that thread. This one is about Calling kids baggage.
Baggage to me is a DEGRADING term to use for children.
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 50
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 4:01:33 PM
I hate the term baggage period.....grrrrrrrrrrrrr

I think the problem is that the world has no many negative connotations unless you are actually talking about the kind you take on a trip. I agree with you OP...."Interested in a person with no children" is the nice and polite way of saying something.

Manners are good!! Please stop using the word baggage. Be more specific in what you do/don't doing so, you might realize just what kind of person you are!

Thank you !
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