Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 207
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight GentlemenPage 3 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
Yea but WD you never did answer the OPs question, Would you Caucasiandahlia be interested in dating an overweight man?
 Bigger Guy
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 208
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:01:32 PM
This is getting a little off course here with reasons and excuses. The question is pretty strraight forward. So is the answer... it has noting to do with being shallow or anythinbg else.
The first laws of human attraction are how does he/she look and do they appeal to me. Its that simple. If they are not attracted to you physically then its a no go.
I don't care oif you are skinny / average/fat or anything else...black, white, red,yellow, or blue with polka dots....its all the same,
After the initial physical attraction, then the rest comes into play. Its as simple as that.
Not shallow / not prejudiced/no other excuses...so don't kid yourselves into thinking anything else, because you are deceiving yourself.
Anyone can improve their chances greatly by being confident and outgoing...that will get you noticed, but it will still attract those that are attracted to your appearance with the confidence.
I know huge men who will only seek thin ladies and many huge ladies that only want thin men...and there is nothing wrong with that if that is what they are genuinely attracted to. Some people want someone their own age, because thats what they are attracted to (some think there is an age formula they have to follow ... now that is rediculous), some want someone much older because thats what they are attracted to. There is no special formula and no special way to attract and never does personality get you there if the other attractions are not there. So don't be deceived. Read the hundreds of other posts and threads about the same thing and you will find the same excuses and whining and people thinking people are shallow....its just human nature....nothing else. We are attracted to what we are attracted to, and that is not shallow or unreasonable. Put your best foot forward and go out and confidently enjoy yourself. Seek people...not the "one" ... that will make things much easier and much more fun.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 216
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/23/2007 5:32:00 PM
The comments that stereotype overweight people as not having good hygiene or being overly sweaty are very mean.
 runzwithscissors!
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 221
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/23/2007 7:53:33 PM
You would probably be shocked at how many "big boys" don't want a voluptuous woman!
 Cobratraps27
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 224
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:55:14 PM
You must realize right away that if you are to nice it shows anti challenge which will eventually turn a girl off no matter what - I dont care what they say, its to easy so in turn they go looking for something else, nice guy = wussy and they will walk all over you
 Cobratraps27
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 225
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:58:51 PM
and to add looks really dont matter it all about your behavior,,,when used to go to the mall with my friends we would sometimes see a beautiful girl walking with some ugly guy that looked like a loser, and the first thing out of my friends mouth was he must have a lot of money - not true(it was quite apparent) unless she is a gold digger, but guys like these sharpen thier skills because they know they are not doing it in the looks dept, so they fine tune thier behavior to become a challenge to these girls something they are not used to and it attracts them
 brock11
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 227
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 8/21/2007 8:13:54 AM
Because, just as some men, women can be very, very shallow, and it's a shame.


I disagree. A man or woman isn't necessary shallow because they wouldn't date a fat person. Maybe they aren't attracted to fat people. Many fat people are attracted ( or not attracted ) to certain things as well.


Actually, I think women are more receptive to overweight men than men are of overweight women. .


I think women care about weight just as much as men. Many women have stated that they wouldn't date a man that is sigificantly overweight or obese.


I see the most beautiful women with the most average joes all the time. not once have I seen a truely beautiful man with an average jane.


Women care about looks just as much as men do.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 231
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 9/16/2008 6:23:35 PM
^^^What she said ...

Of course most of the guys will deny, deny, deny ... (they hate it when we "OUT" them) ... but it's just a known fact that the obesity and overweight contributes to ED in men ... especially the older they get.

OT ...
"Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen"?
I think some are willing to ... but there are a lot of reasons some of us are not inclined to get involved with them. Most "overweight" men my age struggle to get from their car to the entrance of a grocery store ... unless they park in the handicap area ... so how in the world would they be able to go on a walk with me? Make love to me longer than 3 minutes? Go on a bike ride with me? Go out dancing with me?

For us active ladies ... men who are overweight just generally have a really difficult problem keeping up.

Then there is the problem with having them on top in bed ... and pushing the air right out of you ... some to the point that you get the feeling you're going to suffocate. That turns a potentially wonderful experience into a frightening experience for me.
 safn1949
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 234
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 9/16/2008 6:45:27 PM
It's like any other aspect of your your personality or appearance,your either attracted to a person or your not.If there is no physical attraction ,you are doomed in a relationship.Does that mean no one will ever date you? Of course not.You have to find the right person and that's not as easy as it sounds.Also look at what you can do to improve your appearance,I was in an accident and had some injuries to my face,you can't see it now except for I'm missing 2 teeth,soon to be (expensive) permanently fixed.But that's up to you.Personality is great but it won't carry you through.
 hellofagal
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 238
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 9/16/2008 7:39:38 PM
hey,it's not just women..most of the men whom I have talked to say that they haven't met anybody on here because the women have all been too fat...claiming that their pics don't match their bodies when they finally meet them...so,guys don't want fat women either,no matter how romantic they are,at least the ones I've talked to..mind you they were no raving beauties either...most fat people tend to look healthy,nice skin,bright eyes,good teeth,no wrinkles,at least not in their face,but I guess that doesn't matter...so,tit for tat..BTW...OP,are you looking at chubby women? How many dates have you had with women who match you?..
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 240
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 9/16/2008 8:21:57 PM
Man I loved the MOST in my entire life - LUSTED for that man...LOL! Too funny! But he is/was/and has been big, bald and absolutely BEYOND beautiful to me.


It can happen.
 misszmsz
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 248
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 9/18/2008 7:08:20 PM
A lot of men think that their beer belly is ok, yet they would never date a woman with a beer belly, maybe a big bum would be ok to them. Or perhaps they want a girl with a big chest, but never consider that their man-boobs are bigger. Actually I think that more men will not date overweight women than the other way around.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 251
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:36:34 PM
In my case ,I am scared you might have a heart attack , doing the* gym love*. and I 'll die of inbarrassment to explain that to the ER..
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 253
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:47:49 PM
A little weight is fine with me but not 400 pounds.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 257
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 7:34:03 AM
Guess you're going to have to find a nice, romantic, overweight woman-!

Then you can "enable" each other to be happy the way you are, or both get on a diet and exercise regimen and lose the weight together-! Either way, you're in the same psychological mindset, and isn't that what the "inside" is all about-?

There's a psychology that goes with being overweight, and a psychology that goes with losing the weight. Some of it is metabolic and genetic (only so much you can do with the body God gave you), but some of it is psychological, stuffing emotions with food.

Ever watch Biggest Loser couples? It's on NBC Tuesday nights. That show inspires the hell out of me to work out harder, and I'm not even overweight.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 258
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 7:45:48 AM

You stated your weight at 229
I looked at your profile and you look fairly average.


He doesn't look fairly average! He also doesn't look to be a "few extra pounds" as listed on his profile. I AM a few extra pounds. I have also weighed 250 pounds, so I know the difference. I don't mind a bit of weight, but obesity is another matter.

Women don't date grossly overweight men for several reasons; the obvious reason is that some women find such men (and men find such women) unattractive. There is also the health factor.

There is also the consideration of sex with obese men, but I won't go into that.
 daveincarson
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 260
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:33:17 AM
The answer seems very simple here:

If you are fat, date fat girls.

If you are "average", then date "average" girls.

If you are toned and fit, date toned and fit girls.

A fit guy dating a fat girl, or a fit girl dating a fat guy is just not a healthy idea. (yikes!)

It is the simple "Law of Physical Attraction"
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 261
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:41:57 AM
Plus your idea of "healthy lifestyles" will COMPLETELY differ. Yeah, it's true, some stick-thin thing in her early 20s won't HAVE to exercise to look stick thin, but, generally, fitness comes from an active lifestyle. How can a thin person possibly relate to or have anything in common with a fat person? What ends up happening is the thin one succumbs to the fat one's lifestyle, one of laziness and overeating, and then you've got two fat people, one very fat, one somewhat fat. Either way, you both enable each other's deteriorating health. For health reasons, even though it's work (and it's work that I happen to enjoy with a passion), it's a good idea to have two people who ENJOY working up a good sweat.

Watch Biggest Loser on NBC next Tuesday night. It's always inspiring! These two Greek guys (father and son) lost over 150 pounds in, I believe, 11 weeks, through diet and working their asses off in the gym for several hours a day with these intense, caring trainers (that Jillian chick is a hard-core b-tch from hell but she really cares)...they keep losing 10 pounds a week, and they look and feel great!
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 262
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:41:57 AM
Have you given much thought that nice, overweight women sometimes think the same?
Unfortunately, weight has been debated to DEATH on these forums. The term overweight has such a stigma to it.
The thing that has riled me is the way overweight people get treated, and on some of these forums, it's gotten really ugly. Because people may be different, or may not fit the "ideal" of what attraction is, doesn't mean we should treat them with disrespect.

Also, the notion that "thin people are healthy" is not always an accurate picture, either. Thin people can suffer from high blood pressures, heart attacks, cancer, etc.

It boils down to people are attracted to certain characteristics in others that meet their "ideals". Personally, I wouldn't be attracted to a man that is built like Santa Claus or Humpty Dumpty, partly out of fear that he wouldn't be capable of doing the same activities that I enjoy doing (hiking, biking, boating, travelling, horseback riding). I suspect that men feel the same way when they see pics of me on POF, simply because I have a few extra pounds.

Bottom line with online dating, is looks may initially open the doors, but in itself, won't sustain a relationship for long.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 263
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 12:48:45 PM

The answer seems very simple here:

If you are fat, date fat girls.

If you are "average", then date "average" girls.

If you are toned and fit, date toned and fit girls.

A fit guy dating a fat girl, or a fit girl dating a fat guy is just not a healthy idea. (yikes!)

It is the simple "Law of Physical Attraction"


Not to offend (I am always PC), but does this mean that you always date heavily muscled women who stand around flexing their biceps?

I do agree, though: Smart women should ONLY date smart men, etc., etc., etc.


The term overweight has such a stigma to it.
The thing that has riled me is the way overweight people get treated, and on some of these forums, it's gotten really ugly.


On POF, I think part of the reason why overweight people are spoken of badly is because of the misrepresentation on profiles. MANY overweight men and women list themselves as "average" and MANY obese men and women list themselves as " a few extra pounds." I am overweight, am quite honest about it, and have never felt a stigma or that I have been treated badly or had negative things said to me about my weight.

In real life, I am not so sure that being a bit "overweight" carries a heavy stigma: obesity does.

When people on POF badmouth me, it is because at times, I am a bit vehement in my posts. (Wicked grin.)
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 264
view profile
History
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 10:56:16 PM
Women date overweight gentlemen ,what women don't date is deperados (deperates)
 daveincarson
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 266
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/10/2009 6:26:43 AM
A response from a beautiful "athletic" woman would be nice.
 daveincarson
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 268
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:37:09 AM
wow. It's always the linebackers that get pissed. lol.

Say, when you wear yellow do people run after you and yell "TAXI!"

Give me a break lady... I really don't care what a 48 yr old "seperated" fat woman with no kids thinks of me.

You shouldn't insult others. It doesn't feel good does it?

I can see why your husband left you.

Get a life will ya?

And stop "hating"

btw.. I can guarantee I have FAR more education than you AND make more money.

What the f*ck is your problem? You think you are a good catch???

Maybe for an old man.



 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 270
Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:23:30 PM

daveincarson

Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 272
view profile
History

Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/10/2009 1009 AM
wow. It's always the linebackers that get pissed. lol.

Say, when you wear yellow do people run after you and yell "TAXI!"

Give me a break lady... I really don't care what a 48 yr old "seperated" fat woman with no kids thinks of me.

You shouldn't insult others. It doesn't feel good does it?

I can see why your husband left you.

Get a life will ya?

And stop "hating"

btw.. I can guarantee I have FAR more education than you AND make more money.

What the f*ck is your problem? You think you are a good catch???

Maybe for an old man.


she made an admittedly rather snarky response to a rather prejudiced post of yours (lumping all individuals into categories is prejudiced - it's pre judging them by stereotypes rather than by individual characteristics)... and you respond with further insults... you tell her to stop "hating" - do you really consider your post, *loving*?

is it going to accomplish anything, other than show that you know how to lash out viciously and appear on your profile so that those lovely thin ladies you hope to attract can see how you talk to people...?

answering the op. : i'd prefer to date an older overweight man, than a younger rude one
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >