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 subtle_savage
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 3
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Mens' Perception of WomenPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

I've noticed that *some* men think they're natural problem solvers, and women are simply emotional non-problem solvers.


Forgive me, I'm a little confused by the suspended clause (gerund?) and am feeling reluctant, almost trepiditious to respond without understanding you more accurately.

Are you saying that some men think they are natural problems solvers, and that they also thing all women are simply amotional non-problem solvers?

Or are you saying that some men think they're natural problem solvers, while women view themselves as simply emotional non-problem solvers?

 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 9
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 12/23/2006 7:40:35 PM
I don't believe it's that simple. I think both men and women are problem solvers. If the problem is analytical such as an engineering problem, typically men are better. If the problem is resolving conflicts between individuals, I believe women are better.

To answer your question, one needs to understand how men and and women communicate with one another. When a woman has a problem she will phase it in a way that a man will think she is asking for advice and will try to solve the problem. Likely, however, she already knows the solution and is just seeking empathy and/or sympathy.

When hearing her problem another woman will empathize and be sympathetic; however, a man tends to go into the problem solving mode and offer advice. In effect, this is a failure to communicate in which neither party is at fault but so often results in conflicts between couples. The man is not giving the woman what she is seeking. From her viewpoint, the man does not care about her and her problems.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 13
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 12/23/2006 10:16:31 PM
I don't know about that ~ my exhusband still asks me to solve his problems and we've been divorced over 7 years. Sigh.

Some people were raised to be free-thinking (active thinkers) and some weren't. I know far more women who can get out of tough situations long before many of the men I know can. I think it's about drive, determination and a will to make life worth something.

And for every one of me, there will be three who disagree with my thoughts. So OP, I guess it's all in how you choose to see it. JMO
 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 14
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Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 12/23/2006 10:17:46 PM
Men and women alike are both natural problem solvers and emotional non-problem solvers. It depends on what the problem is and our knowledge, wisdom, exprience, and understanding of it is. At times the solution fits and is workable, some times it isn't. Sometimes people chose to go their own path without listening to the solution given to them. Sometimes people base our solutions on guts and instincts and feelings, sometimes people base those solutions on analytical work. To say what sex is better at what isn't really relevant, but to be able to take each situation and individual for who they are, what they are, and the solution given is relevant.

I can personally say that my advice and solutions to two of my best friend's marital relationships turn around from divorce to a rekindling of love. I can also say that sometimes my solutions for some of my friends and their relationships didn't work. Either I was misinformed or did not understand the situation fully, or simply the solution just wouldn't work out. To solve problems is natural to everyone, if that was not so, we would not have this discussion and there would not be books and professionals and talk shows on this topic.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 15
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 12/24/2006 5:11:37 AM
Sorry but this is just one more of those time wasting topics that pretend to explore the true differences between men and women!! It's posted in such a way that seems to beg hope it'll spark some sort of huge debate wherein this single "problem" is solved and will never again need to be contemplated!

SOME people are natural problem solvers others are NOT!! Be they men or women, not everyone can be put into neat little catagories for the convenience of others. For the sake of this jibberish those who say they are probably work at being so; others don't work so hard at it, though.
 Iowapaperboy
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 16
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 12/24/2006 6:41:29 AM
Then, we have those emotional problem solvers... like John Hinkley, Jr. and Lee Harvey Oswald. LOL

Or those who solve emotional problems - like Freud and Skinner.

Or those who solve problems with emotions: like Dr. Phil.

If you are talking about how men perceive women, which is the title of your post, thanks to the Men are from Mars book, too often, we have grown accustomed to categorizing the sexes.

Your sentence was: I've noticed that *some* men think they're natural problem solvers, and women are simply emotional non-problem solvers.

Your question was: Do you agree with this and why, or why not?

My reply is: Yes. I agree SOME MEN THINK they are natural problem solvers while they also THINK some women are emotional non problem solvers. That is the correct answer to your question the way you wrote it.

However, the implied question was whether or not we agree that men are natural problem solvers while women are not.

Thus, my belief is that we are all products of our environment. My male cousin was raised working on a farm, learning mechanics and working with horses. As such, he is a problem solver. I was raised learning philosophy, the arts, spirituality and anthropology. As such, I am more forthcoming with my emotions.

Hope this helps clear your confusion.

-IPB
 Chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 22
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Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 12/24/2006 11:12:43 AM
I've noticed that *some* men think they're natural problem solvers, and women are simply emotional non-problem solvers. Do you agree with this and why, or why not?


I read an article once that talked about the fact that women will talk about problems simply to talk about them. Men talk about problems to find a solution.

Thus women get annoyed when men try to fix them when actually men think women are sharing to get a solution.

I don't know if it's true but I thought it was an interesting insight...

Oops, my anecdote could be construed as a solution - d'oh!
 subtle_savage
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 32
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Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 12/24/2006 11:48:24 PM

There's no gerund - this is not Latin class, though. So now men think we're stupid enough to think we're stupid?


My appologies. It's actually called a dangling clause.
I've noticed that *some* men think they're natural problem solvers, and women are simply emotional non-problem solvers.


I was being grinchish when I asked the original question, Op, in a playful kind of way (note the inclusion of the grinch icon), but still am somewhat confused by your original question.

I'm assuming you're meaning the following sentence: "I've noticed *some* men not only think their sex are natural problem solvers, but also believe that women are simply emotional non-problem solvers."

If that is what you meant, it is a topic using generalizations to make sweeping statements about everyone. Of course some men think this way. Some do not. Some believe in aliens inhabiting well-known public figures. Some do not.


So now men think we're stupid enough to think we're stupid?


This was unnecessarily catty and vicious. I do not think you're stupid in the least. I've seen you post a number of profound thoughts. I do think your topic was badly worded and loaded with generalizations. A habit you continued with the above quote. Just because you assumed I was implying you were stupid, you make a generalization from that to say that all men think not just you but all women are stupid?

Relax Op.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 35
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 12/25/2006 6:24:28 AM
Call it problem solving or whatever, both men and women evolved to be very good at what they each do. At least what they did in primitive times since modern society is too recent for any evolutionary changes.

Men are hunters and warriors involving a lot of unique situations requiring logical thinking and three-dimensional visualization. Women are gatherers and nurturers, remained in groups and evolved to have ability (called intuition) to judge if a stranger is dangerous and superior verbal skills.

In modern times, for political correctness, women are given jobs that men typically would do such as engineering where they memorize solutions but they can seldom solve complex engineering problems that are unique. That is why almost all of the inventions are by men. Also men are seldom good at many of the things that are easy for women. Of course there is a lot of variability so there are a few exceptions.
 Yeronds
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 37
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Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 2/22/2008 6:54:14 PM
And I'm a male, and I have no skills with my hands. I am not totally incapable, but I really dislike the physical. However, I am very emotional, I do cry sometimes and feel empathy and care and all those traits that are often given to women. I've also been called "gay" more than one time. However I'm 100% heterosexual and male.

So, yeah, stereotypes are stupid.
 CherylCake
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 44
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:24:41 AM
I feel like a gay man in a woman's body. I solve the problem, then unsolve it again.
Say, what kind of a post IS this, anyway? Generalizations generally are general.
Did something get solved???
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 53
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Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 2/23/2008 5:19:37 PM
^^ I learned the finger trick for the nine times tables (my daughter showed me when she as in, umm, grade 3?)
WooHoo, a whole lifetime of avoiding nines came to a schreeching halt!!

I solve other problems, have other talents. And cry at sucky movies.

However... we are whole people, no one is ever "all this way" or "all that way"
 tralaza
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 56
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 2/26/2008 2:09:15 AM
I don't see how you can say women aren't problem solvers. How do you think women manage a home and a family? They solve problems every day.

I work in an engineering type environment and the women are far better problem solvers. The men tend to want to discuss it while I just make a decision and get on with it.
 randomstoic
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 59
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 2/26/2008 12:08:04 PM
I perceive woman. I will know them once omniscient.

I will never understand cats.
 QTpye16
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 60
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 2/26/2008 12:56:56 PM
fr0gkiss3r,


I've noticed that *some* men think they're natural problem solvers, and women are simply emotional non-problem solvers. Do you agree with this and why, or why not?


No I don't. Men and women both have problem solvers tendencies, it's just that men prefer not to dwell and constant talk about the problem, whereas women do. Women already know what they are going to do about a particular problem or situation, but they usually still just want to talk about it....talk about it with their friends, husbands, boyfriends, whoever. However, when a particular problem or situation occurs for a man, he usually don't want to talk about it, he just want to solve it, get it done, and move the f*ck on.

Women: Words, Emotion, and Action.
Men: Action.

See the difference?
 QTpye16
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 61
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 2/26/2008 1:05:04 PM
smjle,


To answer your question, one needs to understand how men and and women communicate with one another. When a woman has a problem she will phase it in a way that a man will think she is asking for advice and will try to solve the problem. Likely, however, she already knows the solution and is just seeking empathy and/or sympathy.


You are exactly correct! Just what I said, if men and women would just take that with them, they will be alot better off. It's all about realizing and understanding that we (men and women) do and act upon things differently.
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 63
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Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 2/26/2008 2:25:28 PM
I've noticed that *some* men think they're natural problem solvers, and women are simply emotional non-problem solvers. Do you agree with this and why, or why not?


I don't think it's a matter of actual problem solving ability. It's a matter of the amount of communication each gender commits to a given problem. As a group, guys want to talk about a problem just enough to figure out how to solve it. Minimal communication and maximum action. Get the problem solved and move on. Don't spend an endless amount of time recounting it later. Women, as a group, prefer to talk out problems before they are being solved, while they are being solved, and after they are solved. Women can be just as capable of solving a given problem, but many women will talk it to death even when they know exactly what to do to solve it.

As an example: in changing a flat tire on a truck/car, a guy only wants to know if there is a spare; that the spare has enough air, and then he puts it on and gets back on the road. The most he'll tend to say to people later on is--"I had a flat. It's OK now." A woman describing the incident will be on her cell phone talking about how the old flat tire should have lasted longer; how it almost caused her to crash; how the spare was difficult to pull out; how a passing car came a little too close to her car while she was changing the flat; how a nice guy stopped to help when she already had changed it; how she went to the tire shop and debated whether to get two or four new tires; how the new tires cost more than the old ones, etc., etc. The blabbing is what makes women seem less like problem-solvers. Other than that, with the same level of experience, men and women generally are equally adept at solving problems.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 66
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:35:07 AM

So, both men and women are both problem solvers ?? . . sound's ok to me . .

So let's try it out !!!

"With all those problem solver's out there just waiting and ready to solve problem's
why is it that there are so many single people on this site ???? . . many who have been here for quite a long time ????"

Men and women can answer this problem !!!


I can solve that for you,, Because those who are off this site have solved the stupid little problems such as these,, therefor that just leaves up rejects,, I might be on my way off this site,, I just solved my first problem,,, Kidding..........
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 67
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 3/2/2008 2:41:44 PM

Men consider themselves problem solvers because they go to work and solve
each problem, one at a time, that presents itself to them. However, if they had
to solve those same problems, while the school was calling with news that one
of their kids had the flu and had to be picked up immediately, and a pipe ruptured
in the house and water was spilling all over, and the phone was ringing and someone
was knocking at the door, LET SEE THEM SOLVE ALL THAT SIMULTANEOUSLY!!
[/Quote]

From a single dad,, hell that's easy,,as I pick up my truck keys,, I'm letting the answering machine pick up the call, telling the person at the door, call me or come back later, on my way to school I'm calling the plumber, then the insurance company, Now I am at school picking up my son,, all in 15 min or less,,,

Now try this, you have a 2 mo old baby in your arms, giving CPR to your wife, while dialing 911,, all while your going in to emotional shock,,, get off the man bashing
 doswell_1
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 68
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Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 3/2/2008 4:24:11 PM
I disagree with this. I believe that if you were to compare apples to apples, women can solve problems as good as men.
If a given man and a given woman have the same education, experience and are equally intelligent, each would be able to solve a given problem with the same amount of success.
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