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 Pete73052
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 107
3rd date/5th date rulePage 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
^^^ Needs to check my balance sheets...
 kittybiscuit
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 109
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 8/19/2008 10:13:46 PM
The 3rd/5th date rule is for people who want sex. If they don't get sex within that specified time, then they know the person is looking for something more than sex and they do not continue to waste their time getting involved. They move on to the next one to bang, then the next, etc.
 Pete73052
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 110
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 8/19/2008 10:26:24 PM

Where'd that wooden ruler go .....


Sweetie, a tape measure might be required. And don't forget the holding costs.
 Pete73052
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 112
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 8/19/2008 10:38:25 PM
Oh no!!! My assets are vulnerable - and I'm struggling with my bonds.

(don't go there... I'm warning you... LOL)
 The Minister of Dudeness
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 113
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:03:44 PM
Why don't you two little investors use the night depository for your seed capital, and remember there is a penalty for early withdrawal if you use the first in-first out method since there will be no credits for any debits (unless you employ the double-entry technique)... And something about your receivables aging 30-60-90, or more like thirty 69'y.

(Okay, who said accountants are button-down boring? So, Pete, put on that green eye shade and start fingering those touch keys.)
 Pete73052
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 115
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 8/20/2008 9:35:44 AM

compromise and make it the 4th


OK... but does it work like a slot machine? If you dated somebody else three times, and I come along - do I hit the jackpot?
 Pete73052
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 117
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:19:08 PM

Tho rumor has it many slots are programmed to pay out jackpots randomly...


I've heard dropping a wad in a slot is a jackpot in-and-of-itself. I wouldn't know of course.
 nailtech
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 118
view profile
History
3rd date/5th date STATE
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:16:50 AM
I agree with what 'wexus' wrote here about the whole dating thing. I think that its gone to a level of mantality where if they dip in and its not 'just right' they move on to the next willing particitpant.I don't want to date someone just for sex, I want a meaningful relationship that will hold strong and steady hopefully for the rest of my life!
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 119
view profile
History
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 10/13/2008 3:45:34 PM
I don't have dating rules. I follow my instincts and my heart.
 Sirens Call
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 120
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 10/13/2008 5:21:02 PM

I wouldn't sleep with anyone until I was completely sure she didn't have rabies.


I find that if they don't run screaming from the restaurant when offered water....they're good to go!
 Sirens Call
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 121
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 10/13/2008 8:04:37 PM
I haven't showered in a week fellas. I either got Rabies, or a scorching case of B.O.


...or maybe both.
 Sirens Call
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 123
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 10/13/2008 8:26:03 PM
Extra Butta, please.
 Sirens Call
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 125
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 10/13/2008 8:35:52 PM
I'd hold out for RED Licorice.



I held out for about 15 minutes
 sjenner
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 127
Not set in stone
Posted: 10/13/2008 11:11:35 PM
I really don't push to have sex right away with a woman on first or second date. Me- it is better to let natural attraction happen between two people. If there is that then its ok to do the wild thing right away if you really like the person a lot and think that there is potential for more than just a booty call. I think that folks get too caught up in number of dates or waiting to have sex. I will say that my longest relationships did have sex early on as the physical bond helped foster the relationship as long as there was mutual interest.
 matchlessm
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 129
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 11/3/2008 12:41:07 AM
cinemaniac,

I don't understand why "anyone who uses these kinds of rules" must be interested in using someone else for self-gratification. It's consensual sex, isn't it? How is someone who consents being "used?" Whether it's the first date, the third, the fifth, or the fifteenth, the fact one person wants to have sex doesn't deprive the other person of their will.

I don't look at "by the third date, fifth date, etc." as a rule, but as a rough guideline that's always open to exception. And maybe the woman will begin to wonder if you find her attractive, if you date more than several times and don't at least come on to her. I've had girlfriends later tell me they were hoping, after we'd gone out the third or fourth time, that I'd try to get physical with them.
 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 130
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 11/3/2008 12:33:40 PM

And maybe the woman will begin to wonder if you find her attractive, if you date more than several times and don't at least come on to her. I've had girlfriends later tell me they were hoping, after we'd gone out the third or fourth time, that I'd try to get physical with them.

If a woman would like you to approach her with physical sexual behavior in mind - what you call "coming on" to her - what's to stop her from "coming on" to you? Is there some law that says males are supposed to be hunters and women are prey?

Is it somehow O.K. for males to desire sex but women oh no no no they are supposed to be modest little passive shrinking violets? C'MON! This is 2008, not 1808 and Jane Austen and Heathcliff etc. are long since dead. Romantic novels are FICTION! Can't we live in reality?

If either party desires to get physical on the first encounter or on the fortieth - so what? Is there a problem with expressing an honest desire and saying so - no matter who says it? Are males expected to be so desperate to get their rocks off that they will jump though hoops like a trained seal in order to get laid?

It puzzles me to see so many otherwise intelligent people willing to wrap their lives in layers of rules instead of just being honest and real. Why can't people just relax and be true to themselves and just let themselves have desires and expressing their desires in the realization that you may or may not get what what you want - and it's really O.K. either way?
 matchlessm
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 132
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 11/4/2008 8:45:39 AM
fra59e,

You're arguing against a social convention--but it's not one I supported in anything I wrote. In the passage you quoted, I was only recounting my experience.
 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 133
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 11/4/2008 10:25:09 AM

You're arguing against a social convention--but it's not one I supported in anything I wrote. In the passage you quoted, I was only recounting my experience.

Unfortunately I can confirm that you are correct. There is still a very strong social convention. However, there is a clear difference between women over 45 and their younger sisters. The younger women are much more assertive and confident of themselves. That makes them more attractive so far as I am concerned. Unfortunately I am an old fart and most of the women of my own age expect to be pursued and wooed - which I flatly refuse to do, and I think it is debasing and degrading to both parties to do that stuff. When I desire to connect with a woman socially I am not going to slip into the role of a hunter chasing prey. It is insulting to a woman to perceive her as a target or a prize like a toy in a Crackerjack box rather than as your equal as a real person fully worthy of your respect, not your pursuit.
 Kristal_Rose
Joined: 11/8/2008
Msg: 136
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 11/14/2008 12:08:36 AM
One thing no one's mentioned in this thread yet, is the influence of this rule. Yeah sure, most all of us believe every dating couple should take things at their natural pace, and rules be damned, but the fact is that we have HEARD of this rule, and may have lingering doubts that it may be some otherwise universal truth we are disregarding. If we don't know our new partner well, and their belief in this 3rd date thing, the 3rd date rule becomes a haunting barometer by which we guage our natural pace with some doubts. Some future 7th date may sound about right, by the time of the 5th, but because we've heard of this 3rd date thing, we may suspect ourselves or our mate have fallen short or crossed the threshold of dimiishing returns already.

Perhaps this isn't the best thread for this, but let me illustrate the converse of the 5th date rule, the 50th date scene:
Twice now I've had had dates whom I immediately wanted to sleep with. I took the route of becoming an intimate friend, the way I'd like to be married (aside from the sex part). Both these women were dating on the side, having non intimate sex with multiple partners. By about the 50th date, after a couple years, I found myself practicaly married to these women, but in both cases found that they believed in two seperate categories of relationships, intimate friends, and non intimate sexual partners, and that my hopes of them settling down to finally choose me as their sexual partner were never going to happen.

What to make of this? I'm not certain, but it seems likely that if you know partner is otherwise a 1st date type, and and things haven't happened by your 5th date, that you've probably missed the boat, no matter how well the emotionally intimate aspect of the relationship is working out.
 ShortCayke
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 137
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History
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 11/20/2008 8:31:22 PM
I don't agree with the 3rd or 5th date rule. Truth is if your going to do him or her you have already decided within the first few minutes of the date anyway. Why waist your time by dating for a long period of time. If you end up really liking this person and they are worthless in bed than you have waisted your time for sure. You know that the only reason you continue to date this person is because you are hot for them.
 mamasboy069
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 141
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 3/26/2013 8:40:16 AM
#172,short cake
i agree ,ppl know in the beginning if they wan sex with u ,but then wen ppl start talkin it goes down hill from there,maybe ppl shudnt talk,,jus get it on right now hahhahaaha?








without ur kisses its jus to rough
 SFGIANTSFAN_IN_SOCAL
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 142
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 3/27/2013 2:15:04 PM
Here's an easy rule...

If you're not looking for a hookup, don't have sex before you've both had the relationship talk. It's saved me a lot of trouble and heartache from guys I've really been into and gone out with who just "wanted to have fun" but didn't see them with me "long-term".
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 143
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 3/27/2013 11:27:09 PM
What's the 5th date rule? I've never heard of that. I've heard of the 3rd date "rule" but never experienced it. I figure it happens when it does.
 sickgirl13
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 144
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 3/27/2013 11:36:31 PM
Hey , I myself have never heard of that rule . For myself their are no rules when it comes to love You just do what feels right.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 145
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 3/28/2013 12:02:33 PM
All this talk of rules is making me think of "The Girls' Guide to Depravity" TV series on Cinemax late-night. They have rules for everything!
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