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 Singlemale1962
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 59
MEN ARE MESSES!Page 4 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
See thats why they invented motels.
 charliemcsd
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 60
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MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:22:54 PM

What is it with you guys? Do you have to live like pigs just because you don't have your mommy around to pick up after you? Don't you realize this is a reflection on who you are and that women judge you by your environment? When I see a guy's place in this condition, I worry that he has a sick mind and is either an ax murderer or a serial rapist.


Though my primary residence is a very small one bedroom apartment, I own a small home at the NJ shore. Despite my modest apartment, I keep it in reasonably clean condition. Particularly the kitchen and bathroom. I would be embarrassed to have a woman over if my place was in disarray.

I agree with you about this guy...sheesh
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 61
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 5/5/2007 6:40:28 AM
Looking at the subject header, it's fairly obvious that you were going for ALL. So you deserved the backlash you got. And messy = axe-murder/rapist? Utterly insane assumption.

Dirty is a problem, but messy? Clutter? So what.. some folks are busy. Should they hire a maid service? Probably, but it's not that big of a deal.
 ligonmaximus
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 62
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MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 5/5/2007 11:36:44 AM
The problem here is that Comet is placing judgement on men by how they place looks. Have you ever thought maybe you caught the guy on a bad week? If you would have walked into his place two weeks ago maybe it would have been spotless clean? IT was like that in a Marine barracks. The rooms would be perfectly spotless clean better than your house I promise you that but on the weekends guys like to let loose and they would become disaster areas. Yes it's good to be neat but not super neat? See what I mean? Judge someone by their personality not by anything else. :-)
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 63
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 7/25/2007 7:19:21 PM
The conditions that blonde comet describes could and I say COULD be significant signs of chronic depression. Chronic clinical depression is not uncommon among singles - especially those who did not want to become single. In fact depression is very common with the newly single.

Mental Depression is not what many think. Depression is an imbalance of the brain chemical neurotransmitters like Seratonin, Dopamine, Epinephrine and Nor Epinephrine.

This imbalance is usually brought on by an 'emotional insult' - which is a clinical term not a social one. The loss of a loved one via death or divorce is the most common reason. Once the chemical imbalance sets in - the emotional state deteriorates and one does not - just snap out of it based upon the advice of a friend. It takes medical treatment and counseling.

Depression causes a confused state where the person often does not sense or even see the environment around them - strange as that might sound. This state is somewhat similar to an anorexic patient not being able to see that she is skeletal skinny and very unhealthy and perhaps near death.

Blonde Comet's example shows a man who could well have been able to dress well (as he probably did in another life) in order to impress her. He likely was temporarily buoyed buy the presence of a fine woman - reminding him of his past enjoyable life. But obviously he was still so blinded by his depressive state that he could not see that his totally messy home situation and surroundings were very noticeable to others. The man was living in a fantasy - deluding himself into believing that he was living 'normally' - as he probably once did - not even being able to consider that his lifestyle had become toxic.

No one should ever attempt to SAVE such a man or woman. Don't get involved - refer them to a mental health clinic and LEAVE. And Blonde Comet was correct in taking a hike and expressing her shock and disgust.

No one should live in a condition that the fellow she met lived in --- NO EXCUSES. It is often a disease - Mental Depression.

Joe
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 65
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MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 7/25/2007 8:40:08 PM
I would hate to think that you generalise all men by a few bad experiences.
So I am going to assume that you are just having a rant.

'Nuff said.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 68
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 7/26/2007 6:17:15 AM
"All the men I've met have been "whatever bad thing here" so they ALL are" crap.

Don't you people who generalize constantly EVER get tired of coming across so idiotic?
 Wabbitswayer
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 69
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MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 7/26/2007 6:18:58 AM
Given enough room pigs are very tidy animals.
I'm trying to thing of that George Carlin bit on "stuff". Just hate to throw out stuff.
I think I'll have to start writing to ladies in Prison, that would give me a workable time frame to clean my mess up
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 71
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 7/26/2007 6:35:23 AM
Can I call all generalizers idiots and not get banned if I didn't use names?

Can I?
 Inkwell
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 75
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MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 7/27/2007 8:53:51 AM

You are right, the kitchen is more practicle. What happened to the garage or porch for storing things. I worry when a guy is more attached to either his bike, his motorcycle or his pet than attached to me. A former boyfriend washed his Harley almost every day, and I was lucky to get a foot rub once a week.


I bet his Harley didnt whine about his living habits and call him names. No one would have a problem with your post if you had said that you had two experiences in which the men were not tidy up to your standards. Presumably you are complaining about the state of THEIR houses which THEY own and THEY make the payments on so guess what? THEY can live however THEY want and while they might not let their mommys clean up after them, I bet they also dont need YOU to play mommy and lecture them either.

Now please excuse me. The maid is coming in the morning and I need to clean up before she gets here . . . where DID i leave that pitchfork?
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 80
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 7/30/2007 2:27:36 PM

When I see a guy's place in this condition, I worry that he has a sick mind and is either an ax murderer or a serial rapist.


When I see things such as this posted, I wonder . . . how the heck some women manage to meet ONLY dirty, sexist, married, or just plain mean men. This is one of those vast generalizations that member of both sexes overlay members of the opposite sex. Mommies do not have the corner on clean houses, and most of the homes of the men whom I have dated have been clean.

I fail to see a possible connection between a filthy house and either murder or rape. (Can we spell "histrionic"?) If this were so, we could target criminals before they commit their crimes. I can see it now, government money used spent to finance studies on "The Connection of Filthy Houses and the Incident of Murder/Rape." You should be happy that you see the house before you marry the guy. In fact, you should be happy that he didn't tidy up before you came over; this way, at least you didn't get a false impression of his neatness.

On the other hand, I certainly wouldn't continue seeing someone whose house looks like that.
 Murf167
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 81
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 9/27/2007 9:16:19 AM
Eh, I'm messy. I'd like to think I'm just not bothered by clutter, I don't let things sit around until they smell, and laundry gets done regularly, dishes get done when I need clean dishes so every couple days. Dirty clothes get tossed in or near the laundry basket, junk mail can stack up on the 'dining area' table, and the video game controllers are often found sitting in the middle of the room.

I mean, what's messy to one person might just seem like a comfortable environment to another. But, if I know I have company coming I do go all out to tidy the place up.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 86
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/19/2008 5:05:41 AM

Ok...It has been a long while since anyone posted on this issue...I just want to take time to share my experience....


Considering what follows this line in your “thought” here maybe you too should have just left this alone?

So you blah blah blah on and on about what a mess this guy was etc but the only “crime” here is he wasn’t honest with you. Perhaps he’s slightly insane or didn’t realize you’d come so unhinged by his housekeeping skills---or lack thereof...........



.and then let him have it.....I told him I couldn't believe he would invite a lady to come stay in a dump like that....


Your indignation is noted..................


so if you are looking for a good man or woman...clean up....show some pride.....be confident.....your surroundings speak loud about yourself.....remember if your house is a mess then more than likely your life is a mess....if this hurts your feelings ...or steps on your toes....then do something about it....and you will feel better about yourself ....


Perhaps in your world all this is true but by no means is it true for everyone. This collection of words is much more revealing about you than anyone else so it hopefully will be taken only as your opinion or preference. I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts the people who keep ultra clean Martha Stewart houses have a lot more problems than a messy person.

From someone who’s supposedly newly devoted themselves to the lord this seems very judgmental and not accepting of other people. WWJD----cry about the lodgings and not embrace the person or people inside it? LOL

This was a thread that was done, finished and over----bringing it back just to relate your little problem just doesn’t make sense.

NEXT!!
 Rain4Eva
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 89
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MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/19/2008 6:26:27 AM
JWA, I skipped all the 8 or 9 pages just to reply to you, directly. I don't care how messy my place is or ever will be, BUT people (men and women) should have the respect to tidy up their place of dwelling before anyone comes over, period. I don't care (personally) if friend or future special other was coming over, I'd clean up the house, no excuses.

~Anthony,
 moonstruck626
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 94
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/19/2008 7:41:36 AM
LOL, Hey Darlin, welcome to the real world.
Hmmmmmmmm, maybe thats why some of us "TRY" to chose our playmates wisely per birth signs,professions,areas,& most of all by asking questions of our subjects prior to crossing their doorways.
Get over yourself & keep fishing, there are still a few of us rightous gents about who are not slobs or neat freaks.
My home is my castle, but I dam sure dont obsess over fearing white glove inspections from the "Skirt Squad".
OK, now where is my cleanest dirty shirt, I have a date with a potential "Princess" LOL
A well seasoned cancer male with southern charm & a dam good sense of wisdom per the mating & sniff out sessions .
Have fun & dont take yourself so dam serious. Moon
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 95
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/19/2008 8:39:16 AM

JWA, I skipped all the 8 or 9 pages just to reply to you, directly. I don't care how messy my place is or ever will be, BUT people (men and women) should have the respect to tidy up their place of dwelling before anyone comes over, period. I don't care (personally) if friend or future special other was coming over, I'd clean up the house, no excuses.


You didn't have to go to all that trouble Anthony but I truly appreciate your enthusiasm anyway! LOL

I agree fully with you in having a tidy place if you're expecting company---it's only polite. Having the crap from our daily lives strewn about could make some people uncomfortable and if they're important enough to us then we'd want them to feel welcome in our homes.

My point wasn't how housekeeping "should" be practiced rather it was about one reply. As can be seen from that follow up the choice of words wasn't accurate to the actual conversation---had that been made clear then chances are I'd not have replied in any way to this thread.

So many of the replies here are nothing more than REACTIONS----that's an important concept I think we all need to keep in mind when posting here.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 105
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/20/2008 7:31:18 AM
What the OP needs is a nice little metro-sexual... I hear they even come with professionally manicured nails!

 777shy
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 106
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/20/2008 7:43:22 AM
There IS a problem with this scenario, but it is more with the discrepancy between an "image" the individual, male in this case, is attempting to pull off, versus the reality of "who" he really is...shows some of the indicators of a generic scam artist...one who attempts to use a masquerade of elitism, culture, and wealth to seduce women who may or may not be prone to the enticement of materialism, vanity, and social hierarchy. Look at the entire package people, with eyes wide open...look for the discrepancies...and therein you'll find the truth, or lack of it.
 swtcarolinej
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 107
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MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/20/2008 10:39:31 AM
Boy you got blasted on this one didnt you???? some folks on pof dont have alot of tact..hey its free, what do u expect I guess?????anyway messy is one thing,filth is another I cant deal with the latter..the huge question is why would anyone invite anyone over with their home like that..!!????Its a matter of pride.. how you didnt have any clue just by looking at him is beyond me..was his car a pig pen also????happy fishing..
 AdrianEsquire
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 111
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/20/2008 12:43:15 PM
Sounds like he needs a woman exactly like you!
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 112
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MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/20/2008 5:55:04 PM
Generally, men are messier than women but some women are a disaster. I make sure if anyone is coming over that my place is presentable and do major cleaning once a week and some maintenance cleaning once every couple of days, but that is not enough, I know. I would never have a lady over if I had mess. It's not proper or even a male friend. I could have a lazy couple of days, though. Many people do that on some weekends..
 genegem
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 113
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/20/2008 6:09:30 PM
OP you got the expected mixed bag of responses.
Tidiness and cleanliness are obviously not a gender issue.
Personal pride is an individual thing ... some have it some don't.
Personally I like to visit a home that is obviously lived in but regularly
tidied by its occupants. Dirty dishes in the lounge or bedroom is a
definite turn-off as is food scraps and milk containers on the bench
in the kitchen together with several days unwashed dishes. Some
people like to live like that but I choose not to live with them.
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 116
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MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/20/2008 10:04:34 PM
I'm a clutter bug, no doubt. And I feel bad when people see it sometimes, but you know what? That's me - I'm a collector. I like to show off the concert pics I have taken, and the ticket stubs, autographs, whatever. Shows character. I have been to neat freaks places, yuck! No personality. How am I to learn anything about you if you hide it? And being a slob once in a while is a sign that you are human. There are always extremes, but even then, you don't know the whole story. Maybe they are sick, live alone, depressed, extremely busy, whatever. If you really like the person, get to know them, and appreciate that they want to share their abode with you in a way. I would rather date a clutter bug anyday over a neat freak. As one of my signs say, "Geniuses thrive on clutter." ;)

M
 Rain4Eva
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 117
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MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/20/2008 11:30:59 PM

You didn't have to go to all that trouble Anthony but I truly appreciate your enthusiasm anyway! LOL


It was no problem, not really a lot of enthusiasm, just me wanting to say how I felt.


I agree fully with you in having a tidy place if you're expecting company---it's only polite. Having the crap from our daily lives strewn about could make some people uncomfortable and if they're important enough to us then we'd want them to feel welcome in our homes.


No, you don't agree fully with anyone have a tidy place after your previous post saying,
Sadly for you anal women we don't place the same life-or-death importance on a neat, tidy, ultra clean, picture perfect dwellings you do---does that make us bad or unworthy?
Keyword "tidy".


My point wasn't how housekeeping "should" be practiced rather it was about one reply. As can be seen from that follow up the choice of words wasn't accurate to the actual conversation---had that been made clear then chances are I'd not have replied in any way to this thread.


Exactly, so why post at all? You basically belittled the OP for posting how "she" felt about messy houses (which again has nothing to do with you). Then you go on to make fun of her, you make it seem like we are all back in grade-school.


So many of the replies here are nothing more than REACTIONS----that's an important concept I think we all need to keep in mind when posting here.


The pot calling the kettle black don't you think? You got all worked up in your previous post over how one person felt, (even making fun of her) it actually made it look like you were mad because she had this experience.

Good luck and have fun to all still fishing.

~Anthony.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 118
MEN ARE MESSES!
Posted: 1/21/2008 4:55:28 AM
From a previous reply:


JWA, I skipped all the 8 or 9 pages just to reply to you, directly.


It would appear by skipping things you also missed that my comments were about Msg 212 wherein Angeloflite ranted on about her own ideas concerning this lack of tidiness and what seemed to be her own strong over reaction----it was NOT directed at the OP! In fact, Msg 212 resurrected this long ago abandoned thread otherwise I wouldn't have had a single thought about it.


Exactly, so why post at all? You basically belittled the OP for posting how "she" felt about messy houses (which again has nothing to do with you). Then you go on to make fun of her, you make it seem like we are all back in grade-school.


While two wrongs don’t make a right I think I said if this is such an issue for one person they need not date or visit someone how keeps house any way they aren’t comfortable with.


The pot calling the kettle black don't you think? You got all worked up in your previous post over how one person felt, (even making fun of her) it actually made it look like you were mad because she had this experience.


Sorry dude but if “she” can make her comments I’m just as willing to express mine as well. If “she” has such a hard line attitude about something and expresses as it was in Msg 212 (before her back peddling and further explanation......) then I might refute that from my own point of view. As I said REACTION is more at work in these forums than anything----that’s all I did—REact!!

Move along kids----nothing more to see here!!
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