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Show ALL Forums  > Washington  > Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 read only
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 226
Cold Responce vs. Read/DeletedPage 10 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
^^^^^^^^A'men. It isn't hard to return a message even if it is a no thank you.
 soyrokero
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 227
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/13/2008 3:12:01 PM
I agree with getting any response than nothing. The notion is nice but who will actually do it? Not very many of us. I write from it happening to me all too often.
 redhair lady
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 228
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/13/2008 3:18:50 PM
I had an example yesterday of a read/delete. I simply wrote someone because I read on their profile that they work with computers. Well, my desktop is "sick" and I wrote and asked for advise where I might take it to get repaired and the person read and DELETED my email. How rude is that? I wasn't asking for anything from him but a recommendation on where to take m COMPUTER to get fixed. I was't asking for a date with him for goodness sake!
 read only
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 229
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/13/2008 3:32:27 PM
^^^^^^ I hate to say this red, but I am just not surprised anymore.
 jd2k9
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 230
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/19/2008 9:54:52 PM
I honestly prefer a read/delete. I'd rather that than have it sit there in my sentbox marked as 'read'. At least with a read/delete it tells a guy your not interested. Some guys can't take the rejection, but how mature is it to respond with hate mail? Not very.
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 231
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/20/2008 12:23:03 AM
Yes, that was rude, Redhair Lady. I sent this guy a friendly email because we live in the same town. I wasn't coming on to him but he didn't respond. I guess he thought I was interested because he put an age limit on his profile after that, starting at 19 and he's 38

Come... to Butthead


 Fun and Frisky in FW
Joined: 12/11/2008
Msg: 232
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 12/21/2008 4:21:43 AM
I don't look at it as rude or cold either way. They can sift themselves out. I look at a message as a 'check out.' The equivalent of a friendly smile, and if you get one back, maybe you go up and talk to the girl. If she frowns or jerks her head away, no disco, no loss, no waste of time.

So I come up with something relevant, hopefully interesting, usually funny or silly (because let's face it, most people's profiles have too little to go on and you dont want to repeat every other man's citation), and 9/10 I do get a reply back. Some of the people I've most hoped for a reply back from, I got the read/delete. Oh well! I also hate small talk, so I write a paragraph or two...i think it helps if you write enough of your personality in there. The more words you add, the less cold and tone-deaf the email is, and the less you sound like everyone else.

And I don't know if it was all that rude to ignore your request for computer help red...personally i think it would be a great way to start a convo, but that's also probably not his interest in logging in, and you're requesting something from him, he's not obligated even by any manners. Some people take no pleasure in simple goodwill. :P
 Chris aka Diddy
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 233
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:33:59 PM
Just be honest! Thats all I ask!


[IMG]http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc315/gotdiddy/600918310.gif[/IMG]
 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 234
Cold Response vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/22/2009 1:26:16 PM
i agree with you rustmouse.... i've heard from several women that they get emails from weirdoes and sickos and so it is just easier not to respond... unfortunately it only takes a few to ruin everything for the rest... i wish i wouldnt have to start "in the whole" thanks to some other insensive idiot who put women on the defensive, but unfortunately that's just the way it is... so as much as i would like a simple "thanks but not thanks" as opposed to being ignored, i'll just chuck it to idiocy and blame the aforementioned idiots.... another thing to keep in mind to regarding this issue is that where us men for the most part (or at least me) rarely get contacted first, women get all the attention... i've heard of some that would check their inbox and find 10 or so messages waiting for them daily !!!! ..hell if i get one a week, im styling !!!! so it is not entirely unreasonable that she does not want to spend and hour or two just answering emails to ppl she is not interested in... i suppose i understand, but if i still think I would reply to all....
 GP-99
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 235
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/26/2009 12:20:48 PM
isnt honest allways the best policy??
 ComicDoc
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 236
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/27/2009 7:22:32 PM
I guess Read/Deleted is okay, but I'd prefer to have a "No thank you" or whatever. It's polite and courteous.

Unread/Deleted are the worst. You have no idea what happened.

What I don't get is the Read, but not deleted messages. Does that mean they are thinking? Waiting for another message? Working up a reply? Seeing if I'm serious and will message again?
 redhair lady
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 237
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/27/2009 7:33:29 PM
I got a WORSE one for you. Unread/Deleted AND blocked! I have no idea what I did to get that treatment. Must have been my picture. Just guess he didn't like my looks!
 ComicDoc
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 238
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/4/2009 8:23:28 AM
I just had two women respond to a message saying "you seem nice/cute, but no thanks". Again, being shot down is never nice, but I'm happy they were kind enough to reply. I'm an adult and I appreciate the honesty.

Maybe they noticed I posted here, and decided to be kind
 manusadferrum
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 239
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/4/2009 9:33:38 AM
Id much rather get cold response. I don't care if a woman isn't interested in me and says "no thank you". Id appreciate that she took the time to reply to me, and move on. I wouldn't take it personal. People all have different tastes, beliefs etc. Not every woman likes a certain kind of man, not every man likes a certain kind of woman. But If I take the time, to send someone a message. I expect a response because I believe ignoring someone for no good reason is extremely rude. I'm not saying you should have a conversation with a stranger just because they want to talk to you. That would be a waste of time if your not interested in some kind of relationship with that person and your not in the mood to socialize with strangers. But one tiny little response like "sorry, your not my type" or "not interested" that probably takes 5 seconds to write and send, isn't too much to ask. And if the person decides to be persistant because he or she doesnt get the hint, then you should read/delete. Okay, think about it. You are walking down the street, and for some reason you forgot your watch at home, or you don't own a watch. And you want to know the time, so you ask the first person you see for the time. They just ignore you, and keep walking like you don't exist. That's no different than read/deleted, in my opinion. RUDE. How would that make you feel? Nobody likes to be ignored.
 bluesunshine_33
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 240
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/4/2009 7:33:29 PM
So, I know this says I just signed up, but I'm like a salmon (hopefully without the dying part) who comes back from time to time. I left for a year because I started dating someone.... and well..... anyways... I used to try to write people back, whether I liked them or not. Sometimes that can take a TON of time. I remember this once (and while it happened WAY more than once, I'll just share this.) there was this guy who, since I viewed his profile, wrote me. Fine. I wrote him back and politely said, no thank you. Well, I guess I went to his profile again, to remind myself of who he was, and he wrote me again. Again, I said, thank you for the compliments, but no thank you. I got at LEAST 4 emails telling me what a little b.itch I was, and how I've been cute for too long (WTF? LOL) and that's why I wasn't willing to give him a shot. NONE of it was warranted. And I have had comments like what a little 'c' word I must be anyways etc..... so one becomes jaded and decides maybe just a non response would be easier on everyone, lol.

I'm jus' sayin!
 manusadferrum
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 241
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/5/2009 1:31:07 AM
I see... Sorry to hear that, some of these guys behaved like that towards you, in the past. I think what they did was very immature but you shouldn't let guys like that, into your life anyway. But still, not everybody is like that, and I think good polite people deserve at least 1 response.
 bluesunshine_33
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 242
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/5/2009 7:14:31 PM
You would be shocked at how many are like that tho..... so I mean no disrespect....but I often don't reply.... I don't want that to make me seem unfeeling... but....
 whitejadelotus
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 243
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/6/2009 2:19:37 PM
I much prefer to get no response than a cold response, and I would say that when I used to contact men, that is what 90% of them gave. So when men write me and I'm not interested, I just don't respond, because that is how I would want them to respond to me in the same situation. But I guess that is considered rude?!

I will respond, though, if someone really took time to write to me rather than just saying "hi how r u lets go out." I had someone write me a while back who was a weed smoker and I wrote back telling him that was a dealbreaker, and he informed me that my profile said "Uses Drugs Socially." So I'm thankful to him for catching my mistake; I wonder how many other people wrote to me hoping to get high together...
 whitejadelotus
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 244
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/6/2009 2:21:57 PM
Oh yeah, and when I do the read/not deleted/not replied thing, it means I want to reply but haven't figured out what to say. 6 years of being a faithful wife has left me out of practice with flirting...
 amgreggor
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 245
view profile
History
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/7/2009 12:18:19 AM
I'd much rather get no response than have to read a reply telling me that someones not interested, and I DO make initial contacts several times a week. Id rather not have to read a bunch of 'no thanks' replies...To me it is obvious if I get no reply that the person wasnt interested. I dont take it personally.

On a fun note -seems to me there arent alot of real fishermen on here. When ya fish, ya cast yer line, ya reel slowly. Sometimes ya snag the bottom and lose yer lure. Put a new one on and cast again. Sometimes you think you have a fish, but maybe its a stick or and old boot. Toss it ashore and cast again. But be observant, look for clipped fins and catch and releases, theres plenty of fish, dont be in a hurry. Relax, you may not catch something every day, but if you are persistent and patient you'll snag a keeper eventually.

Reading 'No thanks' replies is sort of like losing a nice rig on a snag or catching that boot. I'd rather spend my time on the fish and not concentrate on the boots and sticks. Cut that line loose and cast again people!!
 amgreggor
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 246
view profile
History
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/7/2009 12:21:35 AM
hi redhair, next time your only looking for advice, use the forums, most people in here are friendly and helpful.
 Chris_N_Morgantown
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 247
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/3/2009 4:57:50 PM
The ones that get to me the most are the ones who Read/Delete, But they never once even looked at your profile , Hello We have the Veiwed me button . How in hell can ya delete or not no if your even Interested if ya never even Looked. Thats just silly
 bo_weeks
Joined: 1/5/2009
Msg: 248
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/3/2009 5:58:14 PM
Beware of the stealth viewing ninja-ettes...they view with out leaving a trace. Seriously, you can turn that feature on and off.
 rastayoda
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 249
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:15:21 AM
I'll take a no reply.

I'm a big boy and check the "Sent Msgs" tab. If I see an email was read/deleted, I move on.

But as for me replying, I'll, at least, thank someone for the email. No reason to get all nasty about it though.

 ExLessAndSexLess
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 250
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:11:55 PM
I prefer a cold response too. Heck, I would prefer someone telling me to **** off rather than to be stood up or see "read deleted".
Show ALL Forums  > Washington  > Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted