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 jjsweet
Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 9
Venting about DeadBeat ParentsPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
aww man it pisses me off when people don't appreciate their children, these kids grow up and pass on the dysfunction and never really know what it's like to love themselves. I say for the future of this world to love children helps protect and insure as we get old the world will be well taken care of. I go out of my way to hang out with other kids and ask questions and help their confidance that as youth they are not totally helpless. If the kids see that they can make a difference and change their own lives they get the confidance to live in hope. I worked as a youth assistant here in indian country and there is a lot of work to be done. I helped as much as I could. I still do.

Just asking a child how their day was influences them. That other adults care helps them and reassures them to be positive.
 SweetShaker
Joined: 7/2/2004
Msg: 12
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Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 4/20/2006 9:18:32 AM
He (the father) will be 27 Next week.

I should say, a very immature 27.

Nicest way I can say it.. is that he's not all there.

And as an update...
He's not seen the child (his choice) since One year ago today.
My little one is doing so much better now behavoir wise.
 sweetestthang
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 13
Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:29:58 AM
I have been angry just like u are with my daughters deadbeat father.....please..let it go...stop wasting your energy on being angry with him.The sooner you realize that u cant change him and make him into the father your child deserves the better.If you dont you are going to do nothing but waste priceless energy being angry for the next 20 years.Focus on you and your child,and not on what the father is not doing.Make sure that the time you have with your child is the best it possibly can be.....if the father doesnt choose to do the same well then your child will grow up realizing how lucky he/she was to have a great mom like you.

Its time we stop ****ing about deadbeats and just let them dig their own graves....and maybe its time for us to also take a lil responsibility because we did make the choice to make a child with someone who doesnt have the decency to be a great father...whats done is done and its time to move on and focus on YOUR relationship with your child!!!
 janofc
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 14
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Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:35:29 AM
Due to the things my ex has done to our children I will not force them to go for a visit. And yes I mean visit because it is only occasionally and only on a Saturday (his choice). Nor will I prevent them from going to his house if they choose. Let me rephrase that- I will not prevent them from going on his scheduled week or mine if we don't have anything planned. He loves changing Saturdays and canceling at the last minute. I do not plan on letting him tie up our lives like he wants to do. You think 37 and 27 is bad. He is 57 and his new wife is 47 and even the kids have to talk with her first.

I agree you don't have to bash a parent like this-kids know more than we give them credit for knowing.
 ZeesMuset
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 15
Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:23:07 AM
OP - this sounds like my sister. Her daughter isn't allowed to talk about her mother, they take her phone away from her, they go through her suitcase, tell her her mommy is a fat b*tch and a bad mother, she has to tell her dad's wife that she loves her and has to call her mommy. Recently, she has to begin wearing a bra and they make her take it off and tell her she's too young for that sort of thing.

Sounds to me like it's court time for you and your ex. There is a thing called ABUSE and if he's behind on child support, you need to put the screws to him.

On the flip side, i have 2 male friends... one hasn't seen his kids in 3 years and the courts tell his ex... you know, he's current on his child support, you need to let him see them and then does nothing...

THe OTHER one.... hasn't seen his kids - 2 girls ages 9 and 11 - in over amonth. Why? Because he's dared asked for custody. Why has he asked for custody???

Because his ex (who is an admitted drug addict - yes I've seen the paperwork proof) has married a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER AND PEDOPHILE (yes, I've seen that paperwork as well.... his 9 year old stepdaughter, his OWN 14 year old stepdaughter and a 13 year old FRIEND of the kids) and the courts of Michigan are rather unconcerned about this. The court demanded a psych evaluation of my friend, the girls, and his ex (who stated she knew about his 'past' and that his own family made it a point to tell her how unstable and unsuitable he was and yet... he doesn't make her feel 'icky'...) and the psych eval stated that Dad needed custody and mom needed help and supervised visition. The judge - one Linda Hamilton - who order the eval then threw it out, because he didn't eval the new husband...

Why didn't she ask him to??? All she had to do was ORDER it....

Something is wrong with our courts when they knowing endanger the child they are sworn to protect.
 theraven871
Joined: 3/16/2003
Msg: 16
Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:45:13 PM
I believe I know what you're talking about.

My son has one of the WORST mothers in the world. She used to take him out to the bar with her and abandon him in her vehicle so she could go in and drink. She would do this in January when the weather would be -10 degrees.
She would let convicted sex offenders babysit our kid and did so many inappropriate things in front of him that I shudder to think of the things that I DON'T know about.

That said, I STILL want my son to have a relationship with his mother. Not for her benefit but for his own. Luckily I was able to convince a judge that the child would be best placed with me and at the moment her visitation with her child is court-ordered to be supervised.

Now if I could just get her to actually SHOW UP to see her kid. She hasn't seen him in 4 months now.
 janofc
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 17
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Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:46:48 PM
Kids have to pay the price for sorry parents. I have the drama with my ex, but my nephew's wife takes the cake. She is spending a few days with my mother and tonight she is drunk and high. She left over 30 minutes ago to get cigarettes and hasn't returned.
My mom is not aware what is going on that I know of. She would not approve of this in her house. THIS woman is a piece of cake. She always wants to tell you how she is being mistreated by other people. But there is some type of drama each time she comes. I wish she would go home and leave her little girls with us.
 ZeesMuset
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 18
Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:07:16 PM
Dear Tim

Where did you get your high school diploma from? 100% + 100% does not equal 100%

Both parents need to assume 100% of the responsibility. It should not be lumped on ONE person. Sometimes it is. It was for me. I think that's unfair. It's unfair my son's father was a dead beat, but I made a poor choice for a father for my child. That's MY fault, not the state or the federal governements. But it was also unfair for him to accept no responsibility and leave it for me.

I don't think anyone here is talking about denying parental rights when the parent is fit. In fact, we're complaining about the opposite. We have fit parents being denied visitation, we have deadbeat parents, abusive parents, being allowed rights, we have abusive and sexually abusive stepparents given rights they have no business having.

We have children terrified of their abusive parents, yet they are given no choice.

In my case, my ex had drug and alcohol problems. I openly accepted 100% responsibility for my son so he wouldn't be exposed to that. Had my ex been a competant father, I wouldn't have allowed him to walk away.

we can't paint the world one color and say... this is how it is.... accept it. It's not that way. To try to make it that way is assinine.
 Kahndor
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 19
Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:35:51 PM
are you all ****in' kiddin' me?

can't get over the physcho babble and horrendous grammer you all posted

and for the lack of a single condom, all these children's lives are ruined

everybody comes to the answer man
 LookyHere1985
Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 20
Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 9/28/2008 10:29:48 PM
You don't have to say nice things about the dad.
Kids are smart.
If the dad or mom is a loser or whatever, they will figure it out on their own.
 BGSU
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 21
Venting about DeadBeat Parents
Posted: 10/21/2008 2:01:54 AM
I had a dead beat wife.
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