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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?      Home login  
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 Rouge_Cheeks
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 26
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
ummm...it's possible for ANYONE to be lonely. LOL
Just because you may be very attractive does not mean you have a winning and worthy personality.
 I Love Makeup
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 27
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/8/2007 8:49:45 PM
OMG.....oh P.A.T.C.H......I know what u are talking about. I am beautiful on the inside. I am the most beautiful on the inside. Of course I am kinda not bad on the outside as well....I think my left side in my best side...if the light is right...and my right side is pretty hot if i use the tanning beds. In the morning tho...holy crap...FORGET IT....I AM U.G.L.Y.....Lil' gel and wrinkle face cream and HOT STUFF , HITS THE ROAD !!! Kidding.

..... However, the older we get the more apt we are to identify inner beauty. I have known one or two stunningly beautiful women, as friends, and I have learned from them that beauty without confidence is a burden for them and they find the attitudes of some men...and women, insulting, because many can only see what is on the surface. Some men try to possess them and some women resent them. If you are attractive...carry it with confidence, not arrogance. Its not a disease.....or a mole :)

Thats why they hang out with me...cuz I make them think it 'aint doin' a thing for me to be seen with them. lol. :)
 eaglesfan7
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 28
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/8/2007 9:13:00 PM
to curlygrl: your looks are not scary but not bad at all. and go eagles! 1 thing i hate the most and why i have avoided my lady friend for a while. every time i see her she asks how am i doing and how is life w/ your g/f. i've told her a few times i don't have a g/f. she'll compliment me and say i can't believe that they're not all over you. it makes me feel worse or when i might tell someone else and i get that jaw-dropping look. i can't help it-i feel bad.
 eaglesfan7
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 29
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/8/2007 9:22:07 PM
i want to add that for my whole life i have been very shy and that may be mistaken for being stuck-up or not interested. i have made great strides to overcome this and i've recently beat this. i have been able to be myself and smile and talk to women or even groups of people and have been recieved much better, my confidence is growing so since this is the brand new me-i think i'll have better success.
 Guardian_Of_Gaea
Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 30
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/8/2007 9:26:44 PM
Good for you! Congrats!

I've gone through a similar transformation recently, so I'm right there with ya!

I hope it all works out smoother from here.

~ David
 PrettyGrnEyes37
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 31
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:13:14 AM
Dictionary.com states:

at·trac·tive /?'trækt?v/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[uh-trak-tiv] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective 1. providing pleasure or delight, esp. in appearance or manner; pleasing; charming; alluring: an attractive personality.
2. arousing interest or engaging one's thought, consideration, etc.: an attractive idea; an attractive price.
3. having the quality of attracting.

_____________________________________________

Just wanted to clarify the "attractive" word that's been used... :)

_____________________________________________

Few of my thoughts on previous postings:

Loneliness is a state of being. We're all human-beings, we're all "being" something at every moment of our lives. Loneliness is probably not a very "attractive" form of "being" since I would assume (here I go assuming) it would have people being (for lack of a better word at nearly 3AM) repelled (opposite of attracted). Here's the kicker, though... Since loneliness is a form of "being," we as human beings can ALTER it. We're none of us the victim of loneliness. We weren't just sitting around one day and suddenly were attacked by loneliness. It's our emotional reaction to thoughts we have. So I assert that loneliness is a CHOICE. Whether conscious or subconscious, on some level we've chosen it.

Cool thing is... we can choose something else when we want to.

______________________________________________

As to what I think when I see an attractive person and whether they are taken or not... For some reason (that I have still yet to discover), I almost always find the guys I'm attracted to are married or "taken". That's probably me responding to something in their "being".

I had a female friend... blonde, blue-eyed, petite, bubbly and fun... she was single for the longest time. Most of our circle of friends couldn't understand why that was... There was something in her "being" that was keeping her single. Personally, I think she had her "flag" down. (A wise man once told me that people are like mailboxes. We have that little flag on the side. When we truly want a relationship, we put that flag up and it automatically attracts people to us. When we don't, we keep the flag down. Most of us pretend to have our flag up when really it's down. Be honest. Is your flag up or down??)
 Sefra
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 32
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:36:52 AM
Answer: Yes. I know this firsthand...cuz...I read about it in one of those pop psychology books written by hairy feminists.
 FitAussie
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 33
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:59:56 AM
I have a few mates who are considered very attractive,

they are definately not lonely. One long weekend, one of my mates had 3 different women for 3 nights. Another mate I hang out with, who women consider gorgeous, always has about 10 women texting him throughout the day. He can pick and choose and despite his shyness, he always has some date lined up. His looks carry him past his shyness.

On the other side, I have average looking mates, who haven't had a date in months or years. So I believe if an attractive person is lonely, it is their CHOICE. If an unattractive person is lonely, it isn't their CHOICE most of the time.
 Moontress
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 34
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/9/2007 3:13:15 AM
Patch, you made a really good point about confidence and co'ckiness. It's all about attitude and personality.

I personally don't think it's right to flat out call yourself hot even if you are (and in fact most of the people that say it, aren't really). It's ok to say 'yeah I'm think I'm fairly nice/ ok looking'. But to go straight out and act like your the hottest thing ever? That is just conceited.

Funny story. The other day a man on here sent me the message 'Want to talk to the hottest 34 year old?' His profile was basically all about how 'good looking' he was (and he wasn't. At least I didn't think so) and how all the girls say he's a Brad Pitt lookalike. But his egotistic demeanor as he talked only made look ugly. I told him not to be so arrogant if he hopes to find a good woman. He proceeded to call me 'lovely' names starting with the letters b and c. I left him with the message 'no wonder you're still single at 34'.
LOL some people. But you know, if you hit a nerve (especially with a stranger), you were usually right.
 Sid Valleyview
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 35
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/9/2007 3:35:16 AM
By definition, the word "attractive", means likeable, desirable, having a gravitating force capable of pulling things toward it.

I think attractive people like to feel melancholy as much as lonely.

On the whole, I'd bet that there are vastly more lonely unattractive people in this superficial aesthetically stimulated world than there are lonely attractive people.

Also the definition of the word "lonely", may come under scrutiny here as well. Perhaps in some cases we could exchange it with "fussy" or having very discerning taste in members of the opposite sex.

Attractive women often complain of lack of attention from intimidated males. I think that is fair comment, but it would only relate to the fact that they never made a move on the guys either. Why? Only said attractive woman could answer that. Lets face it, if they consider themselves attractive they aren't short on confidence. So why no assertive action?
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 36
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is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/9/2007 5:26:42 AM
Eaglesfan7 - Hey - thanks for the compliment!! You live near me??!?!

I think your lady friend asks you about a girlfriend because seriously, sometimes
it is real hard to see why some of you are single - you are handsome and you have
tons to offer a Lady in a relationship, wether it be friendship or more.

I find myself asking guys the same thing - I just cant figure out why they are alone.

So, my advice to you and probably I should be taking my own advice - Get over it -
you are nice looking and you need to get on that confidence train!! Women find men
who are confident real, real sexy!!!! Get some -Fast!!!

Prettygrneyes37 - that flag - I think my flag broke off my mailbox!!! LOL!!
Your friend is a wise man.

Oh and Inner beauty - the most beautiful in the world - and If they cant see that - well then time to climb into that mailbox.
 AcesDJD
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 37
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is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:14:47 AM
Ok people, keep dreaming that there are all these good looking (I'm going to go out on a limb and assume this is what the OP meant by attractive) lonely unattached people out there just crying their eyes out on Saturday night because no average people have the guts to ask them out.

This kind of thing is as much a fantasy as that whole Prince Charming fairy tale. People are always hoping they can trade up in the dating world. This keeps some from being depressed, and others from having to take action and chat up ordinary looking people because they are wating for that attractive person that never gets hit on.

I've never known any good looking people that have had trouble getting dates. A few women that complained all they got were jerks, but even they never whined about lack of attention. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but I would venture to guess this is very, very rare. So rare that its probably not worth worrying about.
 WAGOOSH
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 38
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/9/2007 7:48:12 AM
In terms of loneliness, the only difference between attractive and unattractive (inside or out) is that being attractive means a person has more in the way of options. It doesn't mean that any greater percentage of those options is compatible and while those that aren't compatible might be available to offer the appearance of not being lonely, if it isn't a match you are still lonely on the inside.


Couldnt have put it any better myself ... story of my existence when it comes down to it ..... yes im attractive and have many options ,, but really havin the odds in your favor doesnt do much .. there just odds anyways .. being lonely is a strange thing one day its there and so erasable ,, a void it is ... but hey everyone faces it and has to endure .. its all about equality when it comes to this emotion .........
 papuse9
Joined: 9/30/2006
Msg: 39
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/9/2007 7:53:55 AM
Hello have you not seen all the gorgeous ladies in POF?
 Subotai
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 40
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/9/2007 8:03:12 AM
yup 907 dreamer and Wagoosh said it best....most "drop deads" are appreciated for their beauty only..so while they may get tons of attention and "offers" not many would be "quality" options ...so even though they have "options" they might not be the best. So if these attractive people have a brain and a heart...that isnt being nourished or appreaciated then why the heck wouldnt they be lonely..?

Sure if youre lonely and not "drop dead", youll say well ill take some of the attention even if its the wrong kind. Well im not a woman but i dont imagine a night of some guy staring at your boobs and trying to paw you would constitute a good way to avoid loneliness.

Not saying that there arent attractive people that have 1001 dating options...simply that quality does not replace quantity..

Though if your a member of the former USSR military council then you could say:

"quantity is its own quality"..in tanks and divisions...but in dating...hmm...not so much...

Though Ive always wanted to pick up a date while drving in my "tank".....but i digress.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 41
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is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/10/2007 12:57:28 PM

OH COME ON BKRN2006 - YOU KNOW YOUR ATTRACTIVE - AT LEAST TO ME!!!LOL!!

thats Msg#15 LOL!!
 felicity168
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 42
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/10/2007 4:09:14 PM
Lonely...everyone might feel lonely sometimes and having a date doesn't mean you are not lonely.

Attractive or not attractive is not the issue. Key thing is whether you want a date or not. It all depends on you, you decide. There is always one there for everyone.

Of course dates won't come to your door. You have to make some efforts to make it happen. Prepare yourself. Be friendly, smile, humble, honest...for instance. Nice personality is way way more important than appearance as to get a date......seems like I am deviating from the topic...

 907daydreamer
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 43
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/10/2007 4:12:28 PM
Getting a date doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't lonely. Sure...you could spend your time with SOMEONE but if it isn't THE ONE what does it matter?
 EaglesCry68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 44
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is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/10/2007 4:45:59 PM

is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?


Sure is....

 Roamingsiris
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 45
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is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/10/2007 4:47:57 PM
Hell yes.

I belive that I am attractive.

Yet, again, tonight, im sitting at home, alone and bored.
 EaglesCry68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 46
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is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/10/2007 6:33:08 PM
Hey **Jeebs**

How about sticking to the topic and answering the question.???

Is it possible???
 misseyes
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 47
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/10/2007 7:00:24 PM
Why does it necessarily have to be "attractive" people? I haven't had a real date in ages. Most of my weekends are spent at home alone, or out with a group of friends. It doesn't bother me that much right now.

I never ask myself whether or not someone I consider "attractive" is taken. I'd probably pop a blood vessel considering I find most people attractive and I don't have the mental space to worry about it. If someone is taken, it shows most of the time.

As for the rest of us, pass the popcorn, don't touch the chocolate (okay, with the exception of eaglescry68) and let me enjoy my weekend nights at home in front of the movie while attractive people date or do the same thing. Does it really matter anyway?
 Just Me:
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 48
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/10/2007 8:59:57 PM
I have a friend...she is absolutely beautiful..and one of the nicest, kindest, coolest people I know...and i'm very surprised she is still single...she's the package. I've gone out with a her a couple of times, and the only "man"...yes only one...that has ever approached her was a much older not very attractive guy...someone that she just would not be interested in nor have anything in common with...very strange...but I gather she might be intimidating but she's also very friendly and can be chatty with anybody...alternatively, guys may fear approaching her because she could also easily be long long term which may make her even more threatening...I dunno...just a theory.
 talista
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 49
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is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/10/2007 9:19:40 PM
Because someone looks better than average, they also have to try harder and extend themselves more than most to be believable as a sincere person.

People will naturally flock to an attractive person, because they are nice to look at. But it is up to the personality within the person to keep their friends.

I find as an attractive person, it is harder to get someone to want to be a sincere friend. But there are always people wanting to be associated with you in some way.
 907daydreamer
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 50
is it possible for attractive people to be very lonely?
Posted: 1/10/2007 9:40:06 PM
dead on talista...

I was going to bring up the whole 'woe is me, I'm attractive' thing but that attitude isn't widely accepted on here. If you are attractive you have more people with more intentions to sift through. Not being lonely isn't as simple as being around people...it still requires being around people who understand you...people who honestly like you and don't just tolerate you so they can say they hang out with you.

If the topic of this thread is as it seems and we are talking about purely physically attractive people and how often they are lonely you may be surprised to learn that the numbers can't be far from those not considered physically attractive. My best guess is that it is the people of average physical appearance with other qualities that make them attractive that are the least lonely.
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