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 obeythepug
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 87
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When is it too old to still want children?Page 5 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Curious that when female celebs are 40+ and say they want (first time) children, no one ever questions that. Better access to the best medical care, maybe?


It is also curious that these women never advertise that they are not using their own eggs. It gives too many women false hopes about their fertility. They just see all these older pregnant women. Not everyone can afford donor eggs. Not everyone is comfortable using them.

A woman's fertility tanks after age 40. Her miscarriage risk skyrockets. I think every woman should keep this in mind.
 lolLori
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 88
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When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:36:07 PM
and donor eggs can be the frozen variety freaky to think. cryogenic cryers same with sperm frozen
 JimL123
Joined: 1/22/2008
Msg: 89
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:22:16 PM
After getting out of a relationship of 15 years with a woman who did not want children, even though I did. I would still like to have children. Is that selfish? yes it is. Is it fair to older children? Is having another child ever fair to an older child? I am the youngest, so was it fair to my brother at age 3 to have a new baby. What is the difference between a parent making that decision for them at age 3 vs age 13? I don't think its ever a child's decision if the parents or parent and new spouse decided to have children.

I think you need to balance the needs of the newborn with the needs of the older child. Making sure to make time just for the older child, separate from the new baby. Making sure the older child is not neglected. This is the balance with any new child whither its three years between them or 15 years.

jsut my two cents.

Jim
 lolLori
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 95
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When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 2/27/2008 1:30:28 PM
Depends, as slave labor or so you can collect more welfare. Either way you need to keep popping them out. Good luck.


lol just try and see how fast you get old trying live or collect welfare. Welfare if you can't tell burns out young women faster than any negative lifestyle yeah 30 year old women already look 48 trying to raise a baby on Welfare, can collect try sacrifice your life to welfare and buruacracy kind of defeats the purpose of having a child when you dont have a life.


Think about it older woman celebrates having children. They already have proven themselfs the top % of physical, intellectual, artistic, finanacial, and healthy lifestyles than most of the rest of us. So yeah they have better odds I would think of not having strokes or bloodpressure problems as well os other things woman die from in childbirth and same with their children. Still if you ovulate and you have the desire anybody can do what they want why not.
 JadeMuse
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 97
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 2/28/2008 11:46:06 AM
Parenting is a partnership to me.
A guy who statistically won't be physically around for them by the time they to go off to college is a no-go.
I don't want to be a single parent. It is also one of the reasons why I won't date military men.
90% of life is just showing up.
My $.02.
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 102
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 3/25/2008 9:24:51 PM
I think the situation is so totally different for men and for women.
Men can create a child at any age..... well if he is healthy and not shooting blanks.
Women have a certain cut off point where they can no longer reproduce...produce fertile egg.

I do see a lot of guys in their 30s and 40s...even 50s looking for a LTR...and to find a mate to start a family. I say good for them. They are possibly now at a point where they are financially where they want to be, they feel that they now have the time and the money to spend on a family. They want a good nurturing relationship now and offspring.

women... well a lot of us who have been married previously have our kids... (the stretchmarks...lol)... and have experienced the child-bearing, child-rearing years and want it over with ...... no regrets , yet no desire to revisit that.

I met my EX when I was 19.... we had our kids later... I was 33 with my first... 38 when I had my third child. It is not an easy go for women...we are still the primary caregivers, the ones who work out of the home and in the home.

I did consider having another child not so long ago.... but it passed... unfortunately I am in a comfortable age range to be doing the labourous task of child-bearing and rearing.... my girls are finally out of diapers.
If the man of my dreams were here now....and wanted a child...and we could afford a nanny.... I might do it!
 lolLori
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 103
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When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 3/26/2008 3:55:19 AM
I was twenty three but my Sister MY friend and her two friends were all in the 35-39, all basically the same time. both my grandparents were late 30s or even in 40s, My Aunt had her last on in her mid40s Hes graduated from Oxford . so if you looked after yourself or even if you dont have a perfect child like someone else mentioed the number of young Moms makes the problems look lesser than the few older woman if something isnt perfect stands out more. The worst was when the settlers got here and sent for wives as young as could be who died in childbirth. Some Illnesses get better During pregnancy Like MS
 lolLori
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 108
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When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 4/1/2008 1:09:32 AM
"Didn't get a chance to have kids before 35... don't want them after 35."



I some woman that either nevr had children or decided not to and dont have kids I also no the reverse. Life isnt always a piece of cake. if it isnt right or its to hard why should you feel you got too old you might just have beter insight into yourself why have any regrets if you choose it best without them.
 7733
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 115
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 8/10/2008 1:08:01 PM
For men is different than women. Men can have healthy kids even if they are 45-50-55 and even 60. However, the nature unfortunately hasn't been fair in this case. A simple research (can put keywords in google such as "birth complications" etc) will show that while women up to 30 don't have any problems in general about having kids after that age, especially after 35 it becomes a big issue for them. So, I don't get what's the problem if those men who don't have kids like me want to marry someone (I can't imagine it may happen thru this creepy site though) who is able to have healthy kids? For me I have a choice - to consider dating seriously someone taking into the consideration this. It's easy to find a woman just for fun, and pretty much at this age for me I have had too much fun already by being with all sorts of women. And I think any serious man who has the same intentions should act like that prior to taking all the nonsense women say by trying to accomodate us to your attitude, desires, wishes, by also manipulating the way any normal man may think as the OP does here to impress with your appearance, sexiness etc. All these worth nothing for me if the basics, meaning being a quality woman who is healthy, is in the right age and is willing and be able to have kids.
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 122
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When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:31:19 AM
Well biologically my father had me when he was 47 and my mom was 42 and that was *ahem* 43 years ago and a time when that was rare. And my brother in law became a father for the first time @ 50 or so, and my sister was in her 40's, and that was 17 years ago, and it was a lot less of a shock/medical issue...

And do to all manner of life stuff, I haven't had kids....though I want to, but I have kind of resigned myself to it not happening, in fact I switched from "wanting kids (1-2)" to "Open to the possibility" because of this....it's not a total deal breaker for me anymore, although sometimes it is, I go back and forth on it.

So personally I'm not worried about my ability for my "fishes to swim upstream," it's just finding a partner who want to. Most women in their 40's have done it and aren't interested...so that would mean someone in their 30's. But to be honest I haven't found many mid-late 30's who shares the same values and interests as I do.

It's funny, in my late 20's I didn't want to have kids, in fact I seriously considered have "the operation" to make it not possible....Looking back, and knowing how I feel know, I'm so glad I didn't make that decision. I'm still childless....but at least the potential is there.

I've been told by most of the women who I have dated who have kids, that I would make a great father....
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 124
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When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 10/4/2008 9:33:24 PM
There is no rule on this.
Age: a couple in their 50's may treat a child better than those young couples you hear about in the news each night -- we all know the types. Guess who's raising the kids of some young parents these days? Yep, grandma and grandpa.
Longevity: You can be a young couple then both of you can die in a plane crash or be killed in war-- the results are still the same.
An older couple has less chances of birth defects as a younger couple who use recreational drugs or drink heavily.
There's no one set formula for anyone.
It's all about if the child will be loved and cared for. That's it, really.
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 144
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:01:35 PM
I'm in my late 30s, with no children, and I'd still prefer to have children if I met the right partner who was also willing.


I have noticed that there are quite a few men in their late 30's and 40's who don't have children and want children. It seems selfish to me.
I certainly don't believe I'm "selfish".
-Wouldn't it have been more selfish of me to deliberately have children when I was too young and not financially stable enough to provide them with a stable up-bringing?
-Would it not have been more selfish of me to concieve children prior to being in a committed relationship which I expected to last?
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 145
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When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 11/12/2008 1:46:08 AM
As long as you can still have them naturally and take care of them financially and emotionally.
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 146
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 11/12/2008 6:39:19 PM
post 180:
I think men over 40 who say they still want children so they can have an excuse for dating younger women
Well, I'm not 40 yet, but I'll respond to this.
My reason for still hoping to have children is: I do not currently have any.

As far as dating, or a potential relationship, I'd really prefer someone close to my own age.
But, I will admit that there's few women my own age who are still willing to have children. So I realise that if I do end up meeting someone to potentially start a family with, it would more likely be with someone a little bit younger than myself.

I guess my most likely options are:
-meet someone my own age and never have children of my own,
or
-have children of my own with a younger partner.
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 149
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 11/13/2008 5:35:04 AM

Not to be rude, you probably shouldn't have waited so long!
That's your personal opinion. I don't think it's rude. But I do think it may be a little ignorant.

I am a person who would not want to have children, until a had a secure lasting relationship. Perhaps you think that's wrong. I personally believe it's much more responsible than the people who concieve children at a young age, and raise them in dysfunctional homes.
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 151
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 11/13/2008 7:39:47 AM
^^^^What's ignorant is your suggestion to me that I should have had children sooner.
You even agreed that it's more responsible to wait. Are you contradicting yourself?

I can accept the fact that many people past a certain age may not want to have children.
But it's ignorant to suggest thayt they should have deliberately had children at a younger age, just for the sake of having children.

Far too many social problems in our society result from people concieving children outside of stable relationships and/or concieving children at a time when when they're not prepared to raise them properly.
In my opinion, it is ignorant, and irresponsible, of you to suggest that more people should have been concieving children prior to having stable relationships, or at a time when they may have not been able to raise them.


I haven't had children, yet. But that also means:
-I've never raised children in poverty.
-I've never abandonded kids.
-I've never dragged children through the drama of a parent's seperation, or bitter custody battle.
I consider it very ignorant for someone to suggest that it would be better if I had raised under those circumstances, rather than wait until a later age to concieve them.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 153
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 11/13/2008 6:05:27 PM
I have never wanted any children and I plan on keeping it that way. It is very nice having freedom to do the things I want when I want and not having to deal with some nut case "x" is even better. I laugh when people ask me why I do not have kids. For those who really know me, it is a good idea I do NOT have any...:) I love my freedom. I am not worried about when I get old. By the time I am old, I will be in a home anyway. Having kids does not guarantee a thing. Just more financial drain if you ask me. When is it too old? That is a personal choice. Only you can decide that. I made my decision years ago. I see so many people with children that should have let the better half run down their leg. People have them just because they are worried about "running out of time."
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 155
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 11/13/2008 6:31:23 PM
LMFAO Me too Strawbs, I was given a doll for Christmas when I was about 12 and appearently threw it in the fireplace. Enough said. We can sit in the same home. Could you imagine? lmfao :)
 americanwoman67
Joined: 7/18/2010
Msg: 167
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 1/1/2011 8:40:23 PM
I am living proof of a child of middle age. My dad was 51 and my mom was 44 when they had me. My sister and oldest brother was already married and had kids of their own when I was born. I have RA , bones break too easy, and have always had problems with my blood being low. I do not know if these problems would happen if my parents would had me at earlier age or not but my siblings do not have these problems. I never had grandparents. I would never have gotten to go to ballgames, movies, and other stuff if my sister and brother-in-law had not took me with them and their kids because my parents did not have the energy and did not feel like going to these type things. My father died at 87 and now my 87 year old mother - I take care of her and her house and things. I have great, great neices - which is weird. People thought my brother and sister-in-law were my parents. There has even been rumors in my small town that my brother knocked some girl up and that my parents was raising this child(me) - which I know is a lie. I just think people need to know what kind of things could effect a child of middle age. Yes, I never had to want for anything but it has certainly has had its drawbacks as well.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 171
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 1/22/2011 11:44:17 AM
I think you are too old to have children when you are dead.
 Maestro48239
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 172
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 1/27/2011 12:16:49 PM
Amen to that! I'm 43, 44 in April, and I still havent given up hope. I'm in good shape and look and act young for my age. my grandfather was 42 and grandmother, 40 when they had my dad. I just hope I can do as good a job as they did.

but under no circumstances am I going to go knock up some bimbo, just to be a dad. although, the last few women I dated are sorta bimbo-like.

 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 173
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When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 2/6/2011 6:51:14 AM
"I think you are too old to have children when you are dead."
Add to that, due to technology, when you are dead, and no one has any of your frozen sperm or clone-worthy cells left.
Though I wouldn't RECOMMEND people try to make new children at some advanced ages, I've seen enough examples that DID work out fine, that I wouldn't ever support the rest of us stepping in as a society to put limits on it.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 179
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 2/12/2011 6:42:54 PM
It's funny how many people can likely think back to a grandparent who had their last "change of life baby" in their 40's.

My aunt remarried when she was 54 and her husband was 60, thought she couldn't get pregnant anymore, but she was wrong. At the age of 55 she gave birth to a daughter. Today that daughter is a perfectly normal young woman of 23.


I really wish I had listened to people along the way, that knew better than me such as parents, professors and just other older people that I knew when I was a teenager and young adult. I managed with my children when they were growing up, but doing it the wrong way made it a lot harder than it needed to be.

I have read all of the arguments but it takes at least 30 years to be ready to have children, when you think of getting an education, getting established in your work, and starting your family(marriage), and establishing that family as solid.

So I am not really sure how old is too old to have children, but I don't think anyone is really ready until they are at least 30.
 tanzkity11
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 181
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 2/23/2011 7:50:06 PM
I am totally adamant about having another kid by 40......Why not if you are capable I think you should do it.....I know through my three kids I am now going to really enjoy all the things I took for granted when I was younger with small children....
 hoth1972
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 184
When is it too old to still want children?
Posted: 7/13/2011 9:14:36 PM
not really. ive always thought an older woman is taking a risk with herself. at 39 without kids...my desire to have them is diminishing. so is my desire to be arounf=d a woman with kids. is that selfish? that becuse a woman had kids....and her marriage didnt work out,a new man should find this just okee dokee? younger women are ok,if you have the bank roll. when my parents were married and had me dad was 38 and mom was 23. its on my b certificate. creepy? i dunno....theyve been married 39 years and if it werent for them ignoring the age difference i wouldnt be here. all my friends have been divorced and i have never married. women with or without kids? it creeps me out when i think of how many men she may have slept with before me? so,if i hold out for what i want makes me selfish,so be it. if a woman holds out for what she wants shes smart. mybe the better question is when is it no longer practical? and why must i love heeer kids? they could be brats that should go live with their daddy.
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