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 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 168
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?Page 3 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
The testimonials can mean many different things to many different people.
The majority are pretty much the same in word and thought which I find a bit much and lame and not from the heart.
Some of them remind me of a Dear John letter's in reverse,
then there are the one's who profess there love and warn us that we treat him or her right or how lucky we are or yet a least we are friends or that they lived to far away, great! aka sounds like they are telling me they had there chance and now is your turn. red flag? sour grapes? lol who knows...
Sheezt, or maybe she will give me another chance if I ramble my chase?
right on Romeo.

I do like the one's from the heart,which are honest and genuine. For me they are quite obvious and they to me are one's who give and make this site better.
They speak on a even keel, they are unbiased ,knowledgeable and have moved on with there life and are not here to toot there own horn.



 summer999
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 170
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 10/30/2007 7:56:33 PM
agree that a testimonial is a compliment. i have several, all were totally unexpected and made me feel really nice. it is up to the reader to decide if they are genuine or not, there is no obligation to write to anybody so if people don't like them they do not have to read.
 VainH
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 179
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 11/1/2007 9:36:18 PM
Testimonials?
Drunken haiku of lost love?
Or sucking-up friends?

The [ENTER] keystroke:
Really meant for paragraphs
And for poetry.

The written language,
Suffers by the hands of hacks.
Literacy's dead.
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 181
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 11/2/2007 4:23:47 AM
I have no problem with Testimonials because they're a separate, unique forum. I know what I'm in for before I enter, so it's up to me if I want to read or not. Testimonials in profiles are no big deal because I rarely scroll down that far....lol.

What I "don't" like, however, is people that put their love drippings about finding Mr Wonderful (since I only look at women's profiles) right in their profile text. If you're REALLY off the market and not available for dating, then simply state so, or hide/delete your profile. To have these long-winded, giddy "Look at me, Look at me" self-promotions after clicking on what I "thought" was a single, available woman smacks of grandstanding and ego-stroking. Kind of like "Hey, look at my bright, shiny, expensive new car....aren't cha jealous, people???"....lol

Wonder if Mr Perfect turns out to be not so perfect months down the road, will she "also" post a heartfelt apology for going off the deep end so early in the relationship?? Hardly.

Mo
 JustCruzin53
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 182
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:19:00 AM
Well....here's my take on "testimonials". It's like having references on a job application....are you really going to put down a reference that is going to say bad things about you?? I view testimonials the same way, anybody giving them will be having great things to say and if they don't, then the testimonial won't be there so it all seems redundant to me.
 Sweet J-me Baby
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 186
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:18:06 AM
Waaaaaaaaaaay back on page seven, I had written how one particular man who I have been chatting with for a couple of years had received 15 or 16 testimonials from women. Some had been nice, friendly cutesy notes, others were expressing how deliciously naughty and sexy he is, and others expressing their 'love' for him, but none really bothered me too much.

Well, I still chat with the man, but since then there have been at least 10 more testimonials (and I have no doubt that there will be more) that he quickly deletes off his profile. (I usually tell him Had he left them all showing and I was viewing his profile for the first time, I would have thought, this man is doing nothing but toying with women's emotions here and I doubt I would have said hello. Now, seeing all those testimonials, I must say, I have lost a lot of respect for him.

Testimonials can be a really nice way to express one's friendship or to let others know what a great person that person is...I have learned in this case, that it is also a really good way of exposing the ones who are only here to play games!



testimonials are a way of saying "if you don't want me, the ones in my testimonials do!! and i'm currently f**king them until the right one comes along"


LOL I think that is what I was trying to say, but you say it with so much more eloquence!
 Naughtical
Joined: 4/27/2007
Msg: 187
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:25:50 AM
Total turnoff!!!
To display one shows a high school mentality where you think this a popularity contest...the more you have the more popular you are. I refuse them and do not contact anyone who has them.
What amuses me is 9 times out of 10 if you click on the person who wrote a testimonial about someone, that person has written one for them. It is almost like they say: "You write one for me and I'll write one for you."

A complete stranger's opinion is not going to affect who I contact or who I reply to.
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 188
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:37:08 AM
Its not jsut you testimonials are always fromt he ebst friend of the girl. she has to be on your favorites list in ordert o write something about them. When it does not work people take eachother off their favorites or delete their testimonials. Hell I went on the date from hell and Ic an;t write a testimonial becuase:
1. she'd have to be on my favorite's list
2. he/she could deltete a testimonial they did not like.
3. testimonials are from friens and usually not epople who actually dated them or I would have blasted a few of the bad dates I had.
I have 3 POF dates that turned into something more for months. but had 2 dates that were jsut awful.

1. was a girl who met with me and hung out I bought her a drink she initiated a make out session and then said she'd call me and never did. I think her friends might have spread some old highshcool rumors about me. when I run into her in town she ignores me. The last time I saw her she smelled literally like human poo! I guess she does not bath regularly but she did not smell like BO she smelled like poo! At 4 am.

2. I had a date I met on POF she asked me out ona double date. her friend was a jesus freak with track marks on her arms probably a former drug addict who hit rock bottom then turned to religion. who dated my friend. the friend was nice at first then very critical of me and my morals. Who is she to judge me.

As for my date she would not get off her cell phone and got picked up by her "mother" I walked her to the parking garage and thsi mini cooper clown car pulls up with a huge black guy inside who wanted to fight me. She left with another guy and told me that Iw as rude for interupting ehr when on her phone but she was talking to her ex the whole timke whom even her friend was a big violent F- - - -. That was teh date from Hell.

Testimonials are like the the golldes. Oqw my eyes! The goggles..They do nothing!
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 190
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:51:44 PM
10 pages of responses on this, seems that I agree with most....I think they are cheesy, right up there with the cyber gifts - those creep me out as well....
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 199
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:15:59 AM
Pretty much echo the ones who don’t like Testimonials, for similar reasons. They're either done by friends who obviously wouldn’t have anything bad to say or the opposite gender who secretly want to date the person in the first place. I rarely look down to the bottom of the profile screen to even see them, let alone read them. It does seem the ones that have 400+ Favs also have a few Tests. That tells me they’re on here for friends and not anything serious. That’s certainly fine by me (many people are on dating sites for friends only); just say so in your profile.

 Magnificentlady
Joined: 8/31/2006
Msg: 200
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:19:19 AM
Yeah, I don't quite understand them either. I mean, you have a few GORGEOUS testimonials that are all the same--if it's not spontaneous, but the same thing every other one says, why bother? Yeah, and if someone thinks you're the perfect man/woman, why are they advertising it to other people, so somebody else can come along and grab the best thing you ever had or want? Yeah, it'd be great to be able to say what's terribly wrong with someone, but then no telling what's going to show up on your profile.

I think it would be great to have anonymous notes, or anonymous postings when someone does something really hurtful to another--but then there's always Bambi to think of - If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 201
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:22:25 AM
i think the testimonials (if sincere) can be a better indicator of a person's character, than how many favourites they have/don't have, as they seem to be random and could be for any reason, whereas a testimonial is personalized
 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 202
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 5/8/2008 6:18:30 PM
I've had but one testimonial on my profile my entire time here - from a very dear lady. She's a dang good person, but not someone I'd ever have the good fortune to know more intimately. I trust her with things I don't let anyone else know, even in the "real" world, and she has done the same. She has touched my life and made it better. In short, she's a friend.

And I'd be a dadblasted fool of a friend were I ever to delete that testimonial. If it bothers a potential date (not that there are many in my neck of the pond), then that fish is not for me.

Just annudder thought...

Annudder
 outlawtomboy
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 210
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:55:18 AM
i'm glad the testimonials are available. a testimonial can be a nice thank you note for friendship, whether it be local or on line. occasionally i see testimonials from people met at events and they make the person sound fun, friendly, and sociable. i like that!

sometimes i gain a bit of information that i never would have had - and yes, to be honest, that information can be a big negative for me. i get to see who they associate with and who they've dated. even who they spent a long romantic weekend with and what a good breakfast chef they were...or how they really want to be together and distance is the only thing keeping them apart...or how i will surely be captured, tortured, and killed if i don't treat him like a king.

thanks! good to know!

 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 212
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:43:51 AM
I can only speak for myself, we all have different experiences, and don't think the same (nor should we).

I have had more than a few times that I'll start chatting with someone and after a few emails some say they read over my testimonials and let's just say it was all positive. They are all friends, there isn't anyone I've "dated" (only a handful I've even met) that has a testimonial posted. So maybe it's different in that it's not from people I've been romantically involved with, but that's just my experience. It's all been good I haven't received one negative email about my testimonials.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 214
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:23:33 AM
Like this site,and anything else you can take it with a grain of salt. When one reads the testies here; it can mean various interpretations or misinterpretations.
For example; here are just a few,
aka, what the said person said,they are......
[1] Knowledgeable and honest.
[2] Has substance and character,
[3] Friendly to me since I this is my only way of meeting people.
[4] She got nice boobs, what's not to like.
[5] We were a good match but if only we lived closer.
[6] Treat her right.
[7] If you lucky enough to meet her.
[8] A self deluded Dear John letter just in case you change your mind.

I can see why there are a lot of folks who have 'sour grapes' or get turn off about testies or fan fav's list,and it's just up to you to see beyond the trees or boobs to see what's really inside the person.
When I first came to this site I was somewhat apprehensive also until I read between the lines and what it all really means if anything at all about the person or is it more about the person who wrote the testie for there self saving ego.
I adore people who have substance and grace and have no problemo in letting it be known.
have fun...jj
 Race25
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 215
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:37:31 AM
The testimonials are a bad thing! Ive read some really nasty stuff about people who were (in my opinion) nice. Then there are the idiots...Maybe they forgot the "Don't kiss and tell" rule. The tetimonials should be discontinued.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 217
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:27:55 PM
well I'm not going to ask perfect strangers to get into the mind of someone they dont know. I'm a big boy and if I am not a good judge of character by now, I never will be.

The problem with most people is not that there are no good people out there, its that people are poor at choosing the right one.

Look at the actions and not the words. The advice of strangers is not a big thing for me.
 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 218
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:40:55 PM

It always makes me laugh when I see a testimonial on a mans profile left by a woman who goes way over the top in declaring how wonderful, sweet, funny the guy is blah blah blah. Well why arent you with them then? If they are so bloody amazing.
I take it there is no room in your life for men who are simply friends? Not lovers who are friends, just men who are friends.

If so, then there's your answer.

If not, well, that's an answer to a different question.

Annudder
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 219
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:44:01 PM
Yes, let's ditch the testimonials! Replace it with something different? Any ideas? Write to administrator!
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 220
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:29:08 AM
I despise Testimonials.

They're self-serving suck-ups by the people that write them and do absolutely nothing to enhance interest by the vast majority of people that look at the profiles they're attached to.

I'm of the same mindset: If you're so amazingly wonderful that people are falling over themselves singing your praises, why aren't you in a successful relationship? In spite of being touted as the greatest thing since sliced bread, why are you rejecting every potential partner as unworthy? If so, that tells me something very different about you, and it's not very flattering.

I'm especially irritated with these "GORGEOUS" ascii testimonials some horndogs routinely attach to hot-looking women with huge favs counts (guys that add them to their lists). Believe me guys, these women don't need the extra publicity.
 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 225
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:57:25 PM

But yes of course I understand they could be just friends, but why go on about how superb and wonderful they are? Surely if they are one in a million then they would want to date them??
I don't know about everyone - I'm not the one writing all the testimonials. I've written one or two, I think...and, yes, I did drone on a bit...

Circumstances sometimes prevent dating - age, distance, finances, family committments (I'm talking about single parents here, since, IMO, married folk should only be dating their spouse) - who knows what else? And it may be that the person is just(oh, how incredibly wrong it is to say, "just") a friend...not a potential lover, partner, or date.

But that doesn't prevent me from being grateful for the friendships I've found, and appreciating the person on the other side of that friendship.

It is, after all, called a testimonial - "a public acknowledgment expressive of appreciation or esteem"....

As a friend I hope my testimony will make others look at that person's profile as go, "Wow! What a neat person!"...

But I see that many here are too jaded to hold that view also...

and perhaps that answers questions about me...

Annudder
 Coach Andrew
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 226
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 8/11/2008 1:02:19 PM
Personally, I've never taken a POF testimonial into much account, if at all. The relatively few I've seen have been either been from women friends, or men who apparently didn't "make the cut" (or vice versa), but friendship ensued. If a testimonial is too intimate, or sounds like the man saying them is still hoping for something, then I'd likely stay away entirely.
 248juli
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 227
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 8/11/2008 1:04:04 PM
It's not just you Marc,
The testimonials turn me off too....if the person is that great why aren't they together? I won't even consider dating the guy who has testimonials.

If you're in control of which ones are posted then how would you ever know if a potential interest really isn't some weirdo?
And what's the point of a testimonial anyway?

Juli
 linda_11355
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 228
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 8/11/2008 1:07:47 PM
Well I'm still single after many years and I'm a great catch. I'm kind, warm, caring, thoughful, all the good things, but there is no where to meet men. I have very few friends and I do not like the dating sites. As far as testimonials go, I think it's great. First of all, 75% of the profiles are misleading. I also love reading about success stories, I hope that for myself one day.
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