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 HSJS
Joined: 7/7/2007
Msg: 283
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?Page 5 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
I find testimonials to be strange on a dating site. I ask myself this, if the lady that the testimonial is being written for is such a great catch, why have you not acted for yourself? I sometimes see that the testimonial writer lives far off. Then I ask myself, how could you possibly know enough about the person to render a very intimate opinion of whom the testimonial is being written for and about? If the writer spent enough time to gain the intimate knowledge about the person, then he should have been able to start a relationship for himself.

Testimonials are great for things like; insurance sales people, plumbers, lawyers and toilet paper. But on these things we can always say that testimonials are like opinions are like a*s holes, we all have them and some of them stink!

Does any one think that these testimonials are written at the behest of the person whose benefit the testimonial is written for?
 HSJS
Joined: 7/7/2007
Msg: 285
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 11/26/2008 4:47:51 AM
Maybe the man writing the testimonial for the woman is hopeful that it will get him somewhere with the subject of the testimonial!

I would love to see a real honest testimonial. Something like this;

She is a great lady, knows how to cook and really knows her way around the sheets. I recommend her highly to any of you guys out there, who likes a good meal and a great romp in the hay. I definitiley rate her ***** (5 stars)
 Miss G
Joined: 5/1/2007
Msg: 288
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 12/31/2008 12:32:09 AM
Insightful, but a turn off. It does validate they're not a serial killer, but little else. Meeting his real friends or family would be a better testimonial.
 SAguy_06
Joined: 12/29/2005
Msg: 289
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 12/31/2008 8:21:30 AM
I dont post testimonials-
My theroy is...if I'm all that, why arent you dating me...
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 290
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 12/31/2008 11:22:54 AM
In almost every instance the Testimonials I’ve seen are either self-serving, suck ups, or attempts to curry favor or gain better standing with the person in question.

Many are also bogus for the very reasons many have already brought up – the persons writing them live way too far away to have any real, day-to-day insight of the person they’re writing about. I even know of one instance where someone was actually “elicited” (asked) to write a testimonial, even though the would-be writer has never contacted the person???

As much as I love this site and Markus, another POF feature with good intentions run amok. People either don’t do it properly, take advantage of it for the wrong reasons, or simply screw it up (Favorites being the other).
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 294
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 1/1/2009 11:45:24 AM
wow, I am surprised by the responses on here about this! I think testimonials and faves lists are great! But then, I do view this more as a networking and dating and community site more than just a find my husband/wife site as many do apparently. If I saw a guy with testimonials, I would enjoy reading them and the more he gets along with women and has been found favorable, the more I think well of him. I have only one on mine, and yes, I did meet and date the person (when I lived in Seattle) and it was a joke referring to a title I had once posted on the top of my profile, so it was kinda a fun thing that he could add. I certainly don't think what it seems everyone thinks, why aren't they with this person? I think there are as many answers as there are people. But then, I have learned through time that you can love someone to death and they you, and not be right for each other. It's reality and it doesn't mean it's bad or wrong. We don't always get what we want. As for faves, I am constantly reminded by some emails on here of how many I have, but honestly, many are friends from Seattle, some are true faves interested in me, and many have boldly stated they just like my pics with no interest in me, but want to save my page for future reference! LOL I think that's fine, and don't see a problem with it. If I like a guys pics, I will probably save him too, so I can find him easier, even if he doesn't live nearby and we probably won't meet or get together.

I wonder, is it because I do other networking sites and am used to these forms of communicating and am not seriously looking for someone right now that it bothers me less? Or am I just weird? Well, Happy New Year everyone!

M
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 299
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 1/1/2009 3:21:36 PM
However, I do wonder about the ones that say the person is so great and someone should give them a chance. Why isn't that person with them if they are so wonderful?


Because most writing the testimonial secretly desire a more intimate relationship with the object of their affection, and if circumstances were different would try hooking up with them. Instead they write in almost third person about how wonderful he/she is (depending on the gender dynamics) as a way of hiding their true infatuation, but hopes the person they're writing about picks up on it for later, follow-up opportunity.

For the most part I can see through the ruse and know exactly what they're trying to do.

Obviously "some" testimonials are genuine, but most are fake or written with alterior motives. The problem is we don't know which is true. That's why whenever I see a woman that has them on her profile I immediately dismiss her from further consideration. She's either blind to it or loves the attention so much she can't bring herself to just delete and have a "No Testimonial" policy to avoid misinterpretations.

If the testimonial defenders don't like my "opinion" on the subject, too bad.
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 301
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History
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:03:47 PM
wow again! I thought for sure I would come back and see some people backing me up, but again everyone is afraid of these harmless things.lol Well, it's probably good so many are dismissing me then otherwise who knows how much more mail I would be getting! (please note, I am injecting humor so don't anyone get huffy from my response now ;) ) But then again, I am on here for friends and not really going for a serious prospect, so I probably really see it in a different way than most on here. I was indeed "friendzoned" by my testimony person but I have no hard feelings and love having it there to remind me of the silly day we came up with all these crazy profile titles to see if we can entice people to our page, and so you can understand my testimonial better, mine at the time was "Chariots of Fire really makes me hot!" LOL

M

And yes, I love attention, there, I've said it! Now, give me more! LOL
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 302
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:14:54 PM
^^^^ evrybdy, like you said, it sounds like you use the features on here more for social networking than dating, kind of like how people accumulate "Friends" on My Space as some sort of competition. If that's the purpose you seek then I'm obviously not talking about you. I'm talking about the others that use testimonials for less than sanguine reasons and try hiding their true intentions, and they seem to be the vast majority.
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 303
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:20:39 PM
Aaah, good point then, motownmaniax, I figured it was something like that. True, ones that are too syrupy and gushy aren't really such a good idea, but friends letting others know that that person is cool to get to know, would be ok with me. I guess I need to invest some time in seeing what kind of testimonials everyone is talking about. Thanks for the heads up!

M
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 305
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:25:53 AM
I didn't go through all the responses - but I did get the gist that most thought they were a little ewwwwww. Especially when it is people in my age bracket - kind of looks like the stuff you would read in a high school notebook - juvenile and "high schoolish"

But to each his own - the favorites list is comical to me as well (yes I am on some so that makes he a hypocrite), and while I am on a rant, the "emoticons" kind of creep me out as well, if I look at a profile and there are 986,000 of these little critters running around on it, that is a big turn off.

But I do like "Do you own a car"? Where the heck did that come from? How about "Do you like house plants"? "What is your favorite vegetable?" "What color are you curtains?"

But other than that, I love Plenty of Fish - Did I just do what I think I did?
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 307
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 1/4/2009 12:22:16 PM
^^^^ According to Markus, the reason the car thing is in was because he was getting way too many complaints about people being used as personal taxi services by many members on here. Out of all the profile features, it bothers me the least. Some unscrupulous people will probably still lie about it ("Oh yes, I DO have a car, but it's in the shop so could you pick me up when we meet?"...lol).

Testi's and the Fav counts are by far the most irritating for me.
 FortyFine44122
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 308
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 1/12/2009 10:46:55 AM

Testi's and the Fav counts are by far the most irritating for me.
why don't you delete all 290 of yours
just curious
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 309
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 1/12/2009 11:58:02 AM
If you read my profile you'd know.

I've written extensively on Favs threads. I will not become a slave to monitoring the list and deleting every add, and there's nothing to stop someone from just re-adding me again. POF needs to give us the ability to not be a part of the feature, period. Until that happens we're stuck with it.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 315
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:13:31 PM
Honestly, I would not go by another woman's opinion. I know someone I dated long ago whom we did not mix. He married my late friend who was a perfect match.

We are still casual(purely platonic) friends, but I won't go any farther than that.
Some people click better than others, so I say don't trust tesimonials.
 Lickaliciouss
Joined: 2/17/2009
Msg: 316
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 5/15/2009 8:52:32 AM
JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHY? Got to find out.. why would anyone want a testimonial on their profile... to me that basically says "Hey look at this person... She or He are AMAZING, PERFECT, PASSIONATE, HANDSOME, LOVING, etc.. But does it NOT HONESTLY SHOUT OUT: I Don't Want Them So You Can Have Them? Or better yet... They Are Perfect, Guess I Don't Want a "Perfect" Partner....OMG Is this just too funny? I already know I will catch some flack for this ~ and it's just my opinion ~ Yes I know we all have one... Enjoy the day! Kim
 stephanie888
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 319
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/6/2009 7:44:09 PM
Yes, OP, Testimonials are a turn-off for me, too. I immediately 'write off' any guy with a testimonial. First off anything good they say will be biased, and yet they're not married to the dude so there must be a reason for that.

If a guy has female friends that are on there telling me how great he is, then #1, is she going to be hanging around while we're dating? And #2, why isn't she dating him herself? I don't want or need his female friends, or ex-dates/girlfriends hanging around my relationship or marriage.

If a guy has male friends on there telling me how great he is, it's kind of pathetic.

Either way it reeks of insecurity to me. A man should stand on his own, and speak for himself.
 stephanie888
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 320
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/6/2009 7:59:09 PM
"with regard to the "do you have a car" question. Seems unnecessary to me and actually a number of people who live in large, traffic congested cities don't even bother to own a car and rely on public transportation."
****************************************

Maybe it's not necessary if one lives in NY or some other big city , but it is a huge difference if you live in more rural areas, and yes I would want to know, so I can easily see why this question is necessary. Dating someone without a car in rural areas would be a lot like being a personal taxi driver, and you wouldn't be going many places for dates, unless you want to hitchhike there.
 Jewels49
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 322
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 6/17/2009 1:53:34 AM
Love funny testimonials, ...giving and receiving...an opportunity to shamelessly plug yourself, and or have a (playful) dig at someone.
I don't take them seriously!
 readyfornow
Joined: 5/15/2009
Msg: 325
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 7/20/2009 9:13:33 AM
I take testimonials with not a grain but a pillar of salt. Most of the time, the person writing the testimonial probably never even met the recipient; just kissing up in the hope of getting a date. Furthermore the recipient usually keeps the glowing endorsement as an ego boost. When I date somebody, I don't broadcast it. If I really like her, I'll ask her out again. JMO.
 tbuddha
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 327
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 7/20/2009 9:56:40 AM
Is it just me, or are most of the testimonials on women's profiles by clingy guys that have been put in the "friend zone"?
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 328
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 7/20/2009 11:33:48 AM
The only testimonial I would take to heart would be one from a sister or a daughter.
If they are so great why didn't the person doing the testimonial grab them?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 329
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Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:48:35 PM
Scanned/read this thread and many others...it seems to be the hot button...favorites list/testimonials.

A turnoff...yeah...and if someone has over __ number of favorites...they're attention whores. See them, read them..posted to a very few.

If you participate in the forums much...how is that different from..why can't I get a date...or what's wrong with me. I don't sweat over it or wring my hands..what I have realized is this. There seems to be some...ehh maybe it's a need or an obsession to fill in the blank. Why _____ does _______ or____ or is that a _________.

Not that anyones cares or should they, but I don't ponder nor does this keep me up at night.

Yeah...I get it, there may be and yeah I've seen them too...the obsessive need for attention. ANY attention, positive or negative. And yes I have had an email or two from someone who had the sexual pics.....if you favorite me, I'll favorite you. In over 4 years...it's 2.

The testimonials...like the favorite lists it's a feature. Offered to use or not use. Nothing more nothing less..but sheesh they both get more "press" (that's a media reference..anyone watch TMZ? Yeah..it's that)

I've had the personal emails...unsolicited advice and the forum posts. Those that write me, and do make a comment other than...you'd get a LOT more email if you did this. WHAA...a scan of my profile...looking for friends...it's self explanatory. Sometimes women really do mean what they say...go figure. And my profile...and all the others...so over the top it's for fun (mine...yes I'm SO selfish) and if someone else gets a giggle or three...great. I won't bore anyone with my email. It's personal but I'm never cleaning out the dust bunnies.

Those that have saved me to favs, I've had personal contact with/interaction with. Those that have posted testimonials...okay so I should delete them because what would people think or assume. Good Lord....not gonna happen.

It's noones business, they are all are my friends and they know that. So yeah trash the testimonials...I do get it, but there's not any of mine who are so excited to say how amazing a lover I am...or a great "date". Maybe I should get references...ah silly ME..am I missing out. I get it, I'm one of those freaksonature who's not looking or wanting to "date" whatever the hell THAT is..but not a nun and do leave my house and socialize.

Discount me...waa....look at my favs list...it's SO intimidating...waa I'm crying in my beer. And please, whatever you do DON"T even scroll down the testimonials! I won't be able to sleep...

Ehh...well don't feel sorry for me...warm beer and cold pizza...my life is shyt. I would post more but I have to go CRY incessantly in my flat pillow.

 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 330
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 7/20/2009 9:04:01 PM
They are a turn off when a woman he dated puts kisses and hugs so and so. Fine, keep dating him then.

I don't go by testimonials. I might relate to a guy diffenrently that the woman before, simply cause we all have different personalities.
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 331
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 7/20/2009 9:08:52 PM
i have ONE testimonial on my profile and it's heart warming to know at least ONE woman thinks the world of me!!!
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