Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Poems And Quotes  > Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 shamrockguy
Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 1882
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetryPage 146 of 151    (111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151)
Thats a possibility I would suppose
The fact is nobody knows
About Mr Gere
If he is queer
I can tell you this my back door is closed

I guess that it never seemed wise
But I'm just not one of those guys
I'm straight as can be
No rodents for me
That just does not give me a rise

Gerbils don't live in the glens
In Scotland where all men are men
If they can't find bo peep
Then they do a sheep
Gay Gordan sticks them up his rear end
 TakeMeTheWayIAm
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 1883
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/27/2008 12:08:15 PM
Richard starred in a biblical production tale
Involving a prophet who set out to sail
Set off the coast of Corona
A costumed gerbil plays Jonah
And Gere's butt crack plays the part of the whale!
 heelsRSO4ever
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 1884
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/27/2008 2:55:42 PM
Didn't read ALL the posts to see if this has been added....


There once was a man named Michael O'Day
He died fighting for his 'right of way'
His rights were real...his will was strong

But he's just as dead as if he'd been wrong
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1885
view profile
History
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/30/2008 8:47:45 AM
There once was a country so zany
you could say it wasn't too brainy
a bill of goods it was sold
and now it might fold
because it trusted Bush and Cheney
 shamrockguy
Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 1886
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/30/2008 11:34:25 AM
My banker just called on the phone
I could tell from his ominous tone
He don't find me funny
He still wants his money
If I pay then he'll leave me alone
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1887
view profile
History
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/30/2008 6:39:58 PM
I also called my bank on the phone
need to buy out the ex to get my home
such a scary time
I can't wait to sign
before they say sorry no loan

apartment living is getting old
it's taken a year for this thing to unfold
soon will be over
and I'll be rolling in clover
but the mortgage will eat a hole in my billfold
 shamrockguy
Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 1888
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 9/30/2008 6:43:56 PM
Sometimes I just wish that I could
Just say what I thought that I should
I heard it said
Speak well of the dead
I said the s.o.b. died, well good
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1889
view profile
History
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:25:03 AM
I sure do miss the seventies
hookah's, keg parties, and tie-dyed T's
then LSD
got a hold of me
and next thing I knew it was 2003
 shamrockguy
Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 1890
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 10/12/2008 12:43:09 PM
Lets censor the cumbaya crowd
Who's ideas are now not allowed
Forbidden by asses
Wearing sunglasses
Did you play your folk music to loud?
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1891
view profile
History
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 10/12/2008 12:53:13 PM
an escape to limerick sanity
where no one shows their vanity
all in fun
no one lost or won
and we celebrate our inanity
 shamrockguy
Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 1892
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 10/12/2008 1:22:59 PM
Humility does rule us here
As our faults are appallingly clear
We ain't real proud
Just crass and loud
But we laugh and have us a beer

I knew this old hippie named Clark
Who could write with a true poets spark
His verses were true
His mistakes were few
His bite was much worse than his bark

I once saw an ape in the zoo
Beat his chest as he slung piles of poo
He was so loud
Threw sh!t on the crowd
So they shipped his @ss to Timbuktu
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1893
view profile
History
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 10/12/2008 1:52:15 PM
I've heard the lure of the orangutan
has beguiled the heart of many a man
don't mean to be crass
but that big puffy red a$$
is apparently more than some can stand

as for me, I'm attracted to the lemur
whose look can be so demure
what they can do with their tail
makes me wail
and their beady eyes have so much allure
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1894
view profile
History
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 10/12/2008 2:11:17 PM
Just promise us you'll use protection
between the beast and your own erection
cause I imagine creatures
with horrible features
resulting from your "natural" selection
 shamrockguy
Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 1895
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:12:28 PM
The ape once again pounding chest
To convince us he is the best
His howl he implies
Would weaken Gods thighs
He's having a one ape love fest
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1896
view profile
History
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 10/12/2008 10:25:56 PM
My life was so vanilla
until I met my sweet gorilla
her leathery tits
and hairy armpits
were really quite a thrilla

she came into my shack
and we jumped into the sack
her feet were all muddy
and I was all bloody
after she dug her claws into my back

the way she tossed me about
caused me to keep slipping out
with all that hair
twas a jungle in there
made it hard to find the right route

she really made me swoon
but alas it all ended too soon
she said my small little guy
just couldn't satisfy
so she left me for a baboon

my hurt I couldn't conceal
but I gradually began to heal
then I saw her one day
down by the quay
arm in arm with Shaquille O'Neil

she said that Shaq is da man
and her love life is no longer bland
she gets in a funk
when he does his slam dunk
and now she's his number one fan
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1897
view profile
History
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 4/3/2009 3:02:51 PM
said the limerick thread "I ain't dead yet"
your haiku's and such got me all upset
just give me a rhyme
I'll show you a good time
and you'll see how juicy they can get

some you'll read, you'll go "lawdy lawdy"
these limericks sure can get bawdy
so give it a lick
you won't get sick
but you might feel a little naughty
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1898
view profile
History
Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 4/8/2009 5:41:18 PM
limericks living on life support
since bird was banned for his retort
and since the sham
is the nowhere man
I am left to hold the fort
 goodw0man
Joined: 8/21/2006
Msg: 1899
Limericks...By The Worlds Greatest Poets
Posted: 5/18/2009 1:09:48 AM
There once was a man from Ohio
Who said to his mammy good - bye-o,
In the Big City
He saw his first....ditty.
And then exclaimed, "oh me-o, Oh my-0h!!!
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1900
view profile
History
Limericks...By The Worlds Greatest Poets
Posted: 5/18/2009 6:53:47 AM
Nice to see limericks resurrected
I shall try not to get infected
by the curse of the isle
but I'll hang here awhile
til the bird's situation is corrected
 Shudden
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 1901
Limericks...By The Worlds Greatest Poets
Posted: 5/19/2009 5:26:12 PM
Love is Unhappy when love is away
Cliff to glen an ar again she toss
Long straw blades of grass tickleing
Thier flesh alive with fever touch
Passion the night glow embers dust
He fought that night
Last breath he releases
Rest
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1902
view profile
History
Limericks...By The Worlds Greatest Poets
Posted: 5/20/2009 9:49:04 AM
I once spent a night with Honey
she thought she was a Playboy Bunny
she wore the funny ears
with tattoos arrears
and her moon made me feel so sunny

Honey was really quite a dear
and funny was the tattoo on her rear
It said ATM on the left bun
with an arrow on the right one
that said place deposit here
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1903
view profile
History
Limericks...By The Worlds Greatest Poets
Posted: 5/21/2009 6:01:01 PM
Honey went off to the dollar store
leaving me in the hacienda down by the shore
when she finally returned
I had been spurned
by 3 new men awaiting at the door

she said she'd had a really good time
but she wasn't a one man kind
leaving me all spent
off she went
to blow these other men's mind
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 1904
view profile
History
Limericks...By The Worlds Greatest Poets
Posted: 5/21/2009 6:16:10 PM
honey thought she was funny
when she went to the beach in the nudist colony
but instead of being totally nude
she strapped on her foot long that looked quite rude
when they said take it off she called their bluff
and adamantly refused

oops....extra line....well, here's one for old times....

there once was a poet and you'd know it
for his numerous lines would so cleverly rhyme
full of compassion but more often written with passion
about many important things of our time
though he masked it well in cotton candy and wine
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 1905
view profile
History
Limericks...By The Worlds Greatest Poets
Posted: 5/21/2009 11:18:20 PM
there once was a lady named honey
who loved sex as much as a bunny
she'd fall to her knees
begging let me please
her men left feeling much more sunny


thanks rosie for my limerick lesson! i'll keep working on them, for with your help
i know the form now, though my 'lecherousness' could use a bit more practice!
 iceaxe
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1906
view profile
History
Limericks...By The Worlds Greatest Poets
Posted: 5/25/2009 5:10:41 PM
honey liked to ride her horse
but only bare-back of course
like a cattle driver
crossed with Lady Godiva
she rode hard with no remorse
Show ALL Forums  > Poems And Quotes  > Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry