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 gainer900
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 52
Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories Page 3 of 151    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Its not easy to rhyme the word dildo,
Most attempts are just far less then so-so,
Just hiccup, make stuff up and then end with a yup,
While the limerick crew does some go-go.
 JazzDan
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 53
Limericks, there's somethin a brewin
Posted: 2/11/2007 6:27:47 PM
I wrote this in Creative Writing in my 2nd year of college;

A girlfriend of mine named O'Rourke
Went hunting for men in New York
So successful was she
That in six months she'll be
Expecting a gift from the stork
 JazzDan
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 58
Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/12/2007 5:25:11 AM
Eye Guy, that was the real (horse) deal. Riding In Tennessee.
 JazzDan
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 59
Irish Limericks, Jokes, Toasts, and Stories
Posted: 2/12/2007 2:00:59 PM
Here's another I wrote with this very idiom in mind;



My profile's displayed on computers
Which women peruse like recruiters
But passing the test
Is tricky at best
When the queue is replete with male suitors
 JazzDan
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 64
More Limericks...Just joshin” and laughin” and jokin”
Posted: 2/12/2007 6:22:59 PM
Aye, the competition is steep...


A babe with a bike broke a sprocket
So I offered my ratchet and socket
She said then so freely
"Are you excited to see me,
Or is that just a wrench in your pocket"
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 74
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/13/2007 9:08:21 PM
To write more stupid poems for the forum
is entertainment for this whorum
sometimes I am witty
but usually shitty
and generally lose my decorum

It would help if I weren't half sauced
tonight when ideas are tossed
but I'm just too tempted
by snow I'm exempted
and down my long driveway I'm lost

so it's me and thee and some whiskey
and crappy verse 'cause I'm feeling frisky
so come on out and play
without any delay
before I start getting pissy

cause tomorrow is valentines day
I really don't care anyway
but my dogs still need fed
fore I stagger to bed
and read to keep lonely at bay
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 75
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/13/2007 9:52:43 PM
well, not a virgin there eye....but I'm beginning to qualify for a nunnery....

I'm from Bryan, Ohio....I thought I had more, but they were four liners....hmmm...

there once was a girl from Bryan
who limericks would be tryin
she stumbled a bit
chasing after her wit
but her last brain cell was a dyin
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 76
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:19:58 PM
I will talk if that is your wish
but avoid conversing with fish
I'm a sexless mystic
and closet sadistic
you don't want to uncover the dish
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 77
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:24:51 PM
Ravin I was just joking
on the "ish" thing I was choking
I went throught the letter
couldn't find nothing better
I finally gave up on looking
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 78
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:32:34 PM
and then there's my buddy ravin
whose poetry sometimes I'm cravin
she expresses so well
that she does excel
sometimes her words are a haven
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 79
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:38:11 PM
I put my dogs food in a can
when I tried to fill up their pan
the can had been drifted
and couldn't be sifted
I guess there's tomorrow - Oh man!
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 80
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:51:23 PM
I hope your daughter is safe
I know at the window you chafe
she'll get home all right
and you'll say goodnight
and go tuck in your little waif
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 81
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:02:55 PM
Ive learned not to deny what's inside
because from yourself you can't hide
that voice just keeps speaking
for truth to be seeking
because you know someone has lied
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 82
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:20:39 PM
come back Mr man with an eye
I know it was a smartass reply
I was trying to rhyme
and killing some time
I'm sure you're a really cool guy
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 83
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:30:59 PM
well Ravin, I'm saying goodnight
I should get up with the light
hope your girl made it home
from her snowbound roam
and now you are hugging her tight
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 84
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Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/14/2007 11:05:00 AM
Things are looking up over here
the food can I finally cleared
so my dogs they can eat
and I'll throw in a treat
for surviving the snow of the year

I have drifts that are several feet high
I sink into way over my thigh
now I have to shovel
my countrified hovel
so I can give Bryan a try

I was glad to see my cats
I didn't know where they was ats
I saw one last night
but the yard was a fright
and I'm crazy 'bout my feline brats

my neighbor just plowed out my drive
and came over to see I'm alive
he wouldn't take pay
as he cleared me a way
my faith in mankind is revived

he was unusually kind
without him I'd be in a bind
I'm glad he and his wife
have come into my life
cause they are one hell of a find
 gainer900
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 85
Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/14/2007 1:20:53 PM
Round and round and round we go,
Grab your partner do-sie-so!
Toss em, spin em, round your knee,
Smack that baby, make em pee!
If you danced to my song,
then take another hit from your bong,
with richard simmons in an edible thong.
 gainer900
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 86
Limericks. Are Us...From the Very Best Poets on Earth
Posted: 2/14/2007 1:22:31 PM
and for those that say nothing rhymes with orange....

There once lived the orangeatang,
He drove a neon orange mustang,
His car went really fast,
and he thought he was badass,
so he joined the orangutang gang.
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 87
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Limericks...From the Best Poets In Town
Posted: 2/14/2007 2:53:00 PM
^^^^

Oh you vile, beastly man
where is my frying pan?
you gave me a chuckle
with your little muckle
you've got yourself a fan

so when are we going to pee?
 gainer900
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 88
Limericks...From the Best Poets In Town
Posted: 2/14/2007 3:14:18 PM
Har! Was a quote from the movie labyrinth.

Anyway, what a day, if youre gay, eat some hay,
Thats what I say, get a lei, ok?, ask if you may,
comb my hair, in your underwear,
please dont stare, with a glare,
look the other way, toward the ray, or you'll pay.
 gainer900
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 89
Limericks...From the Best Poets In Town
Posted: 2/14/2007 3:16:42 PM
Man that was crazy,
Said yours truly while he was being lazy,
Laying in bed, typing on the puter,
My aching head, time to reboot her,
The blurry screen getting hazy.
 gainer900
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 90
Limericks...From the Best Poets In Town
Posted: 2/14/2007 3:27:07 PM
There once was a guy from iran,
He was running as fast as he can...

There once was a guy from iraq,
He got chased by iran running back...

Damn I cant quite finish this riddle,
it goes something like hey diddle diddle...
 gainer900
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 91
Limericks...From the Best Poets In Town
Posted: 2/14/2007 3:27:32 PM
There once was a guy from iran,
He was running as fast as he can...

There once was a guy from iraq,
He got chased by iran running back...

Damn I cant quite finish this riddle,
it goes something like hey diddle diddle...
 gainer900
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 92
Limericks...From the Best Poets In Town
Posted: 2/14/2007 3:36:51 PM
Oh damn the latency and lag,
Double posts make me wanna sag,
I didnt mean to do that,
I swear im not an asshat,
Ill hide in this brown paper bag.
 gainer900
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 93
Limericks...From the Best Poets In Town
Posted: 2/14/2007 3:47:56 PM
Hey brizo, my grizzo,
Can you shizzo my nizzo?
Snoop dog wears a raincoat,
Fo drizzle, my scapegoat,
Hows that for a rizzo?
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