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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Has money, but you wouldn't know it.      Home login  
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 20
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Has money, but you wouldn't know it.Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
a lack of financhal security can really be a burden on a relatship. stupid fights can break out over small trivial little things. it really sucks, weither it be a fact of trying to live well beyond your means or a total mismanagement of your resources. everyone wants security in their lives weither it be financhial, spritual or emotional. it is only the financhial that people seem to care about and seek out. the reason why those with it dont brodcast it. attracts the wrong people. if you are only with someone for what they can do for you and not what they make you feel like you can never be really happy. and being rich is just a matter of where your standing. a man with a bottle of water in the desert is rich to the man dying of thirst beside him. but the wealthiest man of all is the one who finds true unquenchable love.
dont you think.
p.s im not rich, mk.
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 23
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Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/21/2007 7:54:57 AM
^^^^^ I'm a teacher so anyone can find out how much I make.
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 24
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Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/21/2007 7:43:42 PM
He just wanted you to be interested in him for WHO he is... I know where he is coming from... I've had women interested in me because of my money, so I too, now down-play my worth.
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/21/2007 8:20:39 PM

Either way, he is a liar.

An awfully judgmental statement there, Michelle. I have known wealthy people who tended to live modestly and whom you wouldn't think were wealthy by looking. No way to tell unless you were involved in their financials. I don't know if this particular scenario is accurate or not, but it isn't impossible and doesn't mean the person is a liar.

Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:13:56 AM
if the story is true, I can totally understand why he'd withhold that information, for all of the same reasons that have already been mentioned. you can't be too sure of anyone's intentions in the span of a few dates, and 6 months seems an acceptable amount of time to keep that info on a need-to-know basis. he obviously cares enough now about you to know that you're the type of woman that he wants in his life ~ there's no other reason to ever tell you....

but I'd also be cautious as to whether he's now telling the truth or not ~ google him ~ if he's that rich, a search should pull up something to confirm the truth
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 27
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Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/22/2007 3:33:33 PM
Um, I would be jumping up and down in my room that a man that I honestly love and who loves me and feels secure about my feelings for him just told me I will never have to work again. If he is normal and you live your life beside him, why would you suddenly go whacko over money? You are in control of whether your values change.

Be realistic. If he had met you and lived in a huge house and drove fancy cars there may always have been a little part of him that was not sure that you really loved him for him and not what he could provide for you. It may feel like a lie but the kind of relationship you want to have with him made it sort of unavoidable.

His modest living style was also not a lie. There are many wealthy people in America that live in the same manner and also many extremely wealthy people that would not be recognized if seen on the street. He did tell you before you married him so that if it really did bother you you have the ability to walk away, that took some guts and there were probably many times that he wanted to tell you but felt he needed to wait a little longer to be sure. If it was me, it would have driven me nuts to keep it under wraps that long.
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 28
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/23/2007 5:00:36 AM
i'm with you on that one bike man...she lives in british columbia but is dating a guy in america caught my attention right off the bat...but to say the guy is among the top 100 wealthiest men in america?...if i had that kind of cash i wouldnt waste my time on a homely little mutt like her in the first place...but they say beauty is in the eye of the beerholder...
too bad she yanked her profile tho...i was gonna get her to ask this guy if he had a sister...dammit
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 29
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/23/2007 5:24:37 AM
OH GREAT!!! thanks for blowing my cover. Sheeeeesh. Thought I told you this was going to be our little secret.
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 30
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Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/25/2007 12:09:57 PM
This is a problem ALOT of people are just waiking up to...

Get burned once by a girl over money, and you realize that you have to be carefull.

Now all I admit to is working stupid crazy hours, and that I do ok. Im not ritch, but Im sure not going to admit what my bank-book looks like. Too many golddiggers out there, and I want to be sure of the girl that I have. I want her to want me for me, not my paycheck.

Love it, Hate it, its not something im doing for you. Its something I do for me.
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 31
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/25/2007 2:23:35 PM
if i was dating someone for six months and he tells me that he's one of the top 100 wealthiest men in america i would have to ask for some kind of proof that he's not playing with me. if the proof that he shows me to be correct then i would have to simply tell him, that's cool...i've never dated a man with money before. i would also have to reassure him that the test that he put me through was never an act either...i am who i say i am. i don't care if the guy has millions of dollars, nor do i care if he only has hundreds of dollars. it's not money that makes the person. it's inside that counts.

now, if there's a wealthy man here in the site and he wants to give me a shot to see how real i am, the ball's in your court.
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 32
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/25/2007 2:58:30 PM
the thing is sky, i don't care if he has money or not. he doesn't have to be wealthy in the top 100, he doesn't have to be a gq man either. anyone that's just himself, honest with himself and those around him would be fine. money can't buy my love and it sure as hell can't buy me either. i'm not a gold digger, never was and never will be.

if and when i finally start dating someone, do you think i'm going to say anything about his finances? i would never say anything about anyone's finances but my own unless they willingly talk about it...i'm not the one that's gonna do the talking.

about what you quoted....i just thought that i would throw a curve ball in to see who would say anything about that. my friends know that i do joke around and they know how i joke as well.
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 33
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/25/2007 3:23:04 PM
I apologize if this has already been said...
I would neither believe or disbelieve the guy, but I'd want to have some kind of substantiation of his alleged financial status. And it's NOT about the money, it's about not getting pulled into a big ass GAME.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame anybody for downplaying a high degree of material wealth when seeking to date/form a relationship.

Here's the other thought...he's TESTING her. If she all of a sudden starts being extra nice, trying harder to please, etc...
Personally, if a guy pulled this on me, I'd get really sad and say that I wasn't totally comfortable about dating a wealthy person because I'm so poor it would look bad...and see if he stuck to the story...
Cindy O
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 34
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Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 2/1/2007 6:31:59 PM
as to the validity of the story all i can say is this, has nobody ever heard of a personal asistant. they can handle of your personal affiars. and as far as a broker...... please with a net worth of a 1,000,000,000.00 do you honestly believe a single broker handles these accounts. try a board of investors. one man handeling a multi billion dollar account
and if it was me i would hide it as much as i could. a lot easier to pull off than you realize.
besides placed in the same situation wouldnt you like to know wither its you or your bank account that they desire.
please dont pass judgement till youve walked a mile in their shoes.
seems as tho many have a variety of responses to this post, ( likley reason why op is no longer on here in her old profile )
just my opinion. you can twist, bend and contort it however you like to suit you own personal views.
Joined: 9/16/2006
Msg: 35
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Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 2/1/2007 7:10:24 PM
I have to repond to a post a read in this thread which is soooo true. "if you don't mind being 'kept'. That is what you are in for. It's not fun. I was in that type of relationship before. He wasn't there for me when my dad died. He said sorry but he has to work. He never called me while he was working out of state. I had to call him. All he wanted to know was did I sweep the garage. When he came back home he wasn't interested in taking me out. It was very lonely. He always acted like I owed him something. Probably because he was the only one who could afford that mortgage. Didn't matter that I was paying the bills. He said I wasn't appreciative because his end of the deal was more expensive. Suppose this meant don't ask for this to be a real relationship.

I own my own home again and it's not the great house like he owns but who cares. I am not living under his house rules.

From there how are you so sure this guy is in the Fortune 500? That could nothing but a line.
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 36
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 2/1/2007 11:42:16 PM
If he actually lied and said he was working, I don't think that's cool, but from your description , he hasn't actually lied, but misled, and for a reason.I think his money is his own business, up until you are engaged, at that point I think he has an obligation to be forthcoming at that time, and either can opt for standard marriage or state he wants pre-nuptual agreement.I wouldn't want someone just interested in my money, but on the other hand, many guys try to pretend they are richer than they are, when really they are steeped in debt, and are expecting the rich woman to bail them out! It's a tough thing! I would love to puton my profile "Rich Guy Wanted" because I could definitly use financial help with my son, but guys would think that crass, I'd never hear from anyone!But how do you politely say"sorry , you're too poor! I can't afford you!"(I was in a relationship where I had to support a guy for a long time. If I was rich , it would have been fine, but eventually I had to say"listen, you've got to get a job!!Because I was not able to carry him anymore.
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 37
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 4/12/2007 10:25:55 PM
Hi OP: Two possibilities. Number one: I have cousins with money and you would never know it. They keep their marriage together (I think)

My experience with a guy who "showed" me his money one day, was that he was looking for a "built-in-maid" His possessions are the only important thing in his life. He always wants to have someone living in his house. I told him to get renters. (this was before I moved in with him) He was strongly against that. I found out after I moved in with him that I was the built-in-housekeeper. Even though I was paying my fair share of bills. He said he had the edge because he payed a larger portion towards the mortgage. Funny that he didn't mention these terms before he bought "our" house. I would have stayed in my own home if I had known his twists.

I gotta point out that he started out with a modest home & car. He went
"bigger" when he bought "our home" .

Things went sour when he was out of work for a year. At the same time my son's father died and boyfriend couldn't tolerate what the boy was going through. He kicked us out.

But, things previously went sour. I was getting brow-beat by him over things I had no control over. Such as the plastic strap the previous owner strapped around the swag lamp chain in kitchen to keep the chain slack from sagging down. He demanded to know what it was doing there. After we lived there for 6 months or more...

From there, he trusted his best friend to tile the floor in kitchen and family room. I tried to tell him that this guy isn't his friend, he is simply a customer. He ranted and got in my face about that. Well, turned out that his friend subcontracts the work out. The subcontractors were young adults that blast music all day and leave their garbage behind. Boyfriend was paying for his friend's 30 years of experience. Boyfriend was afraid to tell these subcontractors to remove their fast-food garbage off counters, yet he wasn't afraid to brow-beat me to clean up their mess.

Boyfriend got weirder by telling me that I'm wrong about the leaking pipe. He didn't get it fixed because he had to be right. The water was pouring out of the leaking pipe, and gushing into the basement. He was so weird that I didn't mention the leak in the pantry closet, or other smaller leaks. I was afraid of how he'd beat me up emotionally about it.

I gotta say that not all people with money are like this.... but too many are. You owe them something for their "good deed" of taking you in. Like you were rotting in a gutter when they met you.

My ex dismissed the fact that I owned a house when we met. He said that I couldn't afford my house much longer. That is his opinion. I made the payments for 11 years.

I believe what happened is he didn't want a street person living in his home, he wanted a responsible home owner that he could trust and could kick out at any time.
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 38
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 4/12/2007 11:55:30 PM
Totally respect this! I would do the same thing if I were in the same situation.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 39
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 4/13/2007 1:18:45 AM
jackpot baby!!!! Jackpot!!!!! is he like 90 years old too?
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 40
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Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 10/7/2007 1:09:34 AM
I feel that it is his business to let the world "perceive" him as modest, he chose to live in a modest home, drive a modest car etc., and not everyone that is rich acts like these jerks in LA throwing money around like jerks.

I feel it was good of him to tell you, I would be impressed that it is not all about the money to him and is tryin to find someone with the same mindset.

The guy that started Walmart, drove an old red beatup pickup truck, so there are many rich people that have found that people treat them differently when they find out you have money.

Who wants friends that just like you because you are rich? If a person inherits the money, they are just lucky, they didnt work for it, earn it, they were just born in that house. There are alot of negatives with money, resentment from poorer people, "hanger ons" that just want you to buy everything for them, then get pissy if you dont. But, you better check it out either way, he may not be telling the truth... now either.

It sucks... Good for him,

Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 41
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:11:14 PM
Hooray! CLick my heels together! I am marrying a freaking multi-millionaire! Who cares how long he kept it a secret? Gucci, Armani, Mercedez here I come!
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 42
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 12/30/2009 11:39:37 PM
Yes, I guess I'd be worried if he lies about that, he'll lie about other things. But then I am a true believer in honesty.
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 43
Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 12/30/2009 11:43:25 PM
Yes,they do have to be careful or end up like Michael Jackson! But at the same time, if you are dating this person its hard to swallow the fact he lied.
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 44
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Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 12/31/2009 9:03:14 PM
Don't blame him at all. I never discuss money or investments for at least six months and usually longer than that. When I don't post my income on dating sites I get little to no response but when I do post it I get tons of responses and sometimes from women that turned me down on another site. There is one site I was thinking about going on but they actually do a background check and verify income which is posted and I don't need that in my dating life as I would never know why she was dating me probably until it was too late and she was filing for half of it.
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