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 SoTexMan
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 62
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hey, all:

Good points all. Thanks for the response, Georgie. You sound like you are doing better. I hope so!

I was pissed and hurt when I wrote my last message (maybe people could tell!), because I learned that even after understanding I have a daughter, and even apparently being at ease with that fact, someone I was communicating with suddenly said, 'ooooh, I don't want that baggage'. So it is reassuring that you feel the same way I do, our children are not 'baggage' to be left on some claim cart in an airport. And that when someone expects that, they can stuff it.

I understand there can be many kinds of baggage, so it is even more important to spell it out, so there is no misunderstanding. It is such a trite, overused expression that it needs to be excised from the vocabulary. Family history, emotional issues, addictions, prejudicial views, criminal past, being a survivor of a crime, work, previous relationships, etc., are all personal burdens that can change the way someone responds to another, and can affect the relationship.

I personally think that so many people assume others understand what they mean, they have lost the ability to explain themselves, or they never learned. Or they wait until the last moment to blurt out a clumsy, thin explanation. Oh, well, life goes on.

Thanks for the feedback. Feeling MUCH better now.


David
 carribeanking7
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 63
Will you help me un-pack
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:22:10 PM
Now that I'm home, bathed, settled and fed,
All nicely tucked in my warm new bed,
I'd like to open my baggage,
Lest I forget,
There is so much to carry -
So much to regret.

Hmmm...Yes, there it is, right on the top,
Let's unpack Loneliness, Heartache and Loss,
And there by my perch hides Fear and Shame.
As I look on these things I tried so hard to leave -
I still have to unpack my baggage called Pain.

I loved them, the others, the ones who left me,
But I wasn't good enough - for they didn't want me.
Will you add to my baggage?
Will you help me unpack?
Or will you just look at my things -
And take me right back?

Do you have the time to help me unpack?
To put away my baggage, to never repack?
I pray that you do - I'm so tired you see,
But I do come with baggage -
Will you still want me?

~ Author Unknown ~-
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 66
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 8/30/2009 3:43:53 AM
I think they mean children. I know what I consider baggage is a man with a wife or girlfriend or many girlfriends.
 CrumblePie
Joined: 1/11/2009
Msg: 67
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 8/30/2009 3:52:27 AM
Baggage to me is undealt with emotions. if you have unresolved issues, especially in the relationship arena, that's baggage.

now that i've resad a few other posts, mines kinda pointless and redundant. lol
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 68
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:28:09 AM
Baggage are of two nature: unsolved issues or problems and questions marks that have not yet found a complete answer.

As those issues or problems are not dealt with properly, they are carried with you until completion. The level of negativity of a baggage depend on the issue or problem itself.
For example, you have dealt with a situation and didn't applied the correct solution to it; yes it has been dealt with, but some remains as your conscience is telling you that you could have dealt with this far better.
On the other end: past situations where you are not sure of the reasons WHY or of the IF.
For example on this one: a past relationship where you ask yourself why it happen this way, what where the variables, influence or reasons; for example.

Some baggage have destructive effect and must be dealt with promptly and some simply need strenght of character to replace them in their correct perspective, answered and/or put to rest/voided.

Everyone has baggage of the unsolved issue or problem type; only narcissic people do not have baggage of the unsolved question mark type.
 CrumblePie
Joined: 1/11/2009
Msg: 70
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:33:54 AM
that was a cheap blow calientecutie, asking all us single people if we have perfect lives. ;)
 PANDA423
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 85
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 10/20/2009 10:50:19 PM
For me, if you're bruised and it affects you in a negative way, that's baggage. If you're bruised, and heal, and it affects you in a positive way, it's growth.

Well said - I agree
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 86
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 10/20/2009 11:04:48 PM
To me it means I don't want your wife and kids. Sorry N/A relationships and married men!
 navycanuck
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 88
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/22/2010 8:23:48 PM
To me baggage is a guy with kids or walks around being bitter about his ex-wife.
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 89
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/23/2010 12:05:38 AM
anybody that says no bagagge...i would run ...shows an insensitive person..if a woman does not have children...there are issues...everybody has something they are dealing with...i could understand no drama...no family love triangle...who do you know that has a perfect life? nobody.



every one has a skeleton in their closet and baggage .......some big some small, hopefully small.

any one who says other wise is a bullchitting liar.......................and I'll be more than happy to call them on it.
 wings on my butt
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 90
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/23/2010 6:29:34 AM

What does NO BAGGAGE mean?


It means your are 16 years old.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 91
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/23/2010 6:57:04 AM
I really have to wonder when I read that statement just what they really mean.

What I would mean by that is don't bother my unless you're exes and previous sexual partners are no longer any part of your life and you don't need me to fix you.

anybody that says no bagagge...i would run ...shows an insensitive person..if a woman does not have children...there are issues...everybody has something they are dealing with...i could understand no drama...no family love triangle...who do you know that has a perfect life? nobody.

Then call me insensitive. Perhaps no one has a perfect life, but there are people who don't let the imperfections ruin the life they have left.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 92
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/23/2010 7:36:17 AM
Actually (to me) no baggage means you go through life
not dragging crap with you. You take care of your business,
pack it up and leave it where it belongs. Some people go into
relationships carrying more luggage than a spinster on a six
month cruise. I (as well as many others) choose not to do that.

and PS...children are not baggage...at least not in my world, so
sorry if they are in yours.

So I guess I'm insensitive as well. I don't even have a set of
matching luggage...mostly I travel with a back pack.
 navycanuck
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 93
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/23/2010 11:55:17 AM
Guess I am insensitive too. Dated guys with kids and found I was always second to their kids; or couldn't make plans with them as we had to work around their schedules. Had dates and plans cancelled because of them. Yep kids are not only baggage but a huge anchor or tether. Although I have found the same thing with pet owners.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 96
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/24/2010 5:12:46 AM

and PS...children are not baggage...at least not in my world, so sorry if they are in yours.

Kids aren't baggage, per se, but many people behave in a way that turns their kids into baggage.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 97
view profile
History
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/24/2010 7:16:21 PM
"No baggage" is one of those useless things that people put in their profiles, along with "no drama, no cheaters, no liars, no gold diggers," etc., etc., etc. It's primary purpose is to warn us that the person stating it probably *does* have baggage.


Dated guys with kids and found I was always second to their kids


I'd be wary of any parent who *didn't* put their children first. After all, their first responsibility is to their children. People without children often have a difficult time accepting this. If they can't, they should not date people with kids.

I dated a guy for awhile who, during the course of some conversation, told me that when his daughter was young, he often dumped her at her grandmother's while he spent time with whatever woman he was dating at the time. I was alarmed that he would do such a thing and wasn't surprised when he turned out to be a self-centered, shallow, insensitive jerk.

 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 98
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/24/2010 11:35:44 PM
Children. Exes that drag you into court every other month, stalk you or keep your life crazy. Family that is in your business or controlling your life with their needs. Poverty or debt or unemployment or disability. Mental illness, a history of it, addiction, alcoholism, extreme obeisity and other health problems. But then, it all depends on how you carry it. Most often I read, "No excess baggage", in other words, if life is more than you can handle, maybe it's not fair to look for a new signifcant other to handle it with you. All of these things can be just typical aspects of life, but if you can't carry your life, I would say you have excess baggage.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 99
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/25/2010 4:04:55 AM

What does NO BAGGAGE mean?

It means all their exs have had some sort of crap/drama going on.

They usually are nut job magnets with issues of their own.

If they are turned on by someone..they have put up with it because of " that wild crazy sex".

I hear "crazy sex" will make you stewpit .

To some it means debt..drugs..kids..priorities other than a relationship.

I don't read past that.......means they are used to it IMO.

Like no cheaters ect...........
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 100
view profile
History
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/25/2010 7:01:15 AM
I look at the baggage issue as the simple choice we all have of whehter to be a victim or a survivor. No matter what anyone ever does to us we all have the ability to captain our own ship and take responsibility for our own failings and not allow the failings of others to put holes in our sails.
 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 101
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/27/2010 2:46:00 PM

note men are looking for women with no baggage.


1. Children are not baggage. If they were, flying would be a lot cheaper.

2. A woman can have past negative experiences. It defines her as a person. HOWEVER, if you take her to dinner, and she spends the entire night complaining about how her ex (and by extension, all men) are pigs and cheaters, no thanks. I'd rather chew my own arm off to escape rather than sit through one of those lectures again.
 RockinDaze
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 102
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/27/2010 3:22:05 PM
"No baggage" is a nice way of asking that ill feelings concerning life/past relationships/etc. not be carried-on into the next relationship. Hoarding means there is no room to grow.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 103
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/27/2010 10:28:50 PM
Who are these people with no baggage, where do they exist?
#1. kids are not baggage their gifts from God. (ps. I am not going to defend this statement)
That being said, everyone has baggage wow are you kidding.
What you choose to do with your baggage is up to you.
I personally think that if you have baggage, you should try to put it to rest, resolve some issues and let it go, before you get into a new relationship.
In the big picture we are the cumulation of all our experiences, and this is what helps us develop into compassionate people.

I do not think sharing time with someone new is the time to bring up baggage!
It is their time, If you are looking to find someone that is a good match for you, then you are going to need to give them some attention. Discussing the past is wasting time, that you could be using on sharing a connection with the person you are with.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 104
view profile
History
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/30/2010 1:21:41 PM
"No baggage" is a nice way of asking that ill feelings concerning life/past relationships/etc. not be carried-on into the next relationship. Hoarding means there is no room to grow.


Well put. Thanks.

If you are still carrying resentments from past experiences and allowing them to interfere with your current relationships, that's baggage. It may not even be from past romances. It could be your family. Your mom had a bad temper so any time a woman expresses the least bit of anger you freak out. Your dad was overly strict so whenever anyone makes the smallest demands, you rebel immediately. That's baggage. Your ex cheated on you so you are constantly worried the person you're currently dating is going to do the same thing. You feel like you got cheated in your divorce settlement and that resentment still leaves you bitter and angry. That's baggage.

Unfortunately, stating "no baggage" in a profile is, in my opinion, about as useless as stating "no liars, cheaters, or gold-diggers." It's a sign to me that the person probably is still carrying their *own* baggage.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 105
view profile
History
What does NO BAGGAGE mean?
Posted: 12/30/2010 11:30:30 PM
I actually have no "traditional" baggage whatsoever: no kids, no communication at all with any exes (except on rare occasion with the one with whom I actually have a ton of common friends with), no pets, no past financial disasters, no criminal history, no drug or alcohol problems, no unusual attachment to family members -- pretty much absolutely nothing.

And that fact in-and-of-itself appears to have become "baggage," that I could it make it to this age in life with none of that stuff. Usually leads to a lot of suspicions and questions. Probably called for, too. "What's wrong with this guy that he could live this long and not get involved in any of that stuff?"

Yeah... what is wrong with him?

Heck, forget dating for a second: I just got a new boss and in our first meeting this extremely traditional guy asked me a string of questions in a row about kids, wives, family members, hobbies, etc., and I could see him getting more and more stumped by each of my answers (or more like, lack of) and it soon turned into just a really uncomfortable conversation. Haven't been on a date in a long while, but I'm pretty sure that's how it would go, too...
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