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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the per      Home login  
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 BSradar925
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 151
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.Page 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

It happened to me not too long ago - and now I always feel compelled to ask anyone I am going to talk to if their pic is real or recent, looks are not the most important draw for me, but I do feel I have the right to know if I am being jerked around or not. I was really freaked out by that and I really do not like the thought of it happening again...any similar stories or opinions??


It has happened to me so many times that now I will always exchange cell phone pictures taken on the spot. When I exchange numbers with someone we start texting and I ask him to take a pic of himself, and I take a pic of myself, and sometimes I will make a video on the spot and send it to him, and ask him to do the same.

I also have Skype and I ask them to video chat with me. That way you can see each other at home in their PJ's, in bad lighting, and if you still are attracted to them, then go ahead and meet in person.

If a person says they don't have Skype (or don't have a web cam) it's a bad sign. Anyone can download Skype software, and every computer comes with a web cam from the manufacturer, so you know they don't want to show their face!
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 152
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/17/2011 3:42:22 PM

If a person says they don't have Skype (or don't have a web cam) it's a bad sign. Anyone can download Skype software, and every computer comes with a web cam from the manufacturer, so you know they don't want to show their face!

I don't have Skype or a webcam. My computer is 6 years old and did not come with a webcam, and I've never felt inclined to purchase one. However, the pictures on my profile are current and look like me.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 153
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/17/2011 3:44:49 PM
If a person says they don't have Skype (or don't have a web cam) it's a bad sign. Anyone can download Skype software, and every computer comes with a web cam from the manufacturer, so you know they don't want to show their face!

I don't have skype or a web cam, because I don't use windows or any of the other platforms skype supports. If using a Silicon Graphics workstation is a bad sign, then I guess I have a character flaw that I don't want to change.

so you know they don't want to show their face!

If it came down to that, well, c'est la vie. I was never so desperate that I was going to cater to someone who wanted a guarantee. It wasn't costing her any money, so I was taking all of the risk. If she couldn't show up, eat dinner and be pleasant regardless of how the meeting went, her social graces were somewhat lacking. I met several women who looked nothing like their photos and I still managed to do that AND pay for dinner without being traumatized.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 154
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/17/2011 3:51:38 PM
every computer comes with a web cam from the manufacturer, so you know they don't want to show their face!

Dang, so dinner tomorrow is out? (Unless I go out and buy a new comp or a webcam for this older one)

You may not realize yet that the few good guys can be turned off by having to jump through many hoops set up to attempt to "prove" their worthiness/identity..
Especially when they are likely very ambivalent to begin with..

So then what are ya left with?
Those common players that know they have to try very hard to bamboozle /sneak their way a bit closer to your heart.. and other parts..
It's kind of a test maybe like jousting for a princess.. The true prince may not bother because he sees the power-plays coming afterwards..
 ricanfreaknphenom
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 155
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/18/2011 8:52:44 AM
I think thats why skype was invented
you dont want any surprises
 1talltee
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 156
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/18/2011 1:15:56 PM
Not every computer comes with a web cam, I have purchased several for guys at work and I don't get that feature.
 1talltee
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 157
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/18/2011 1:56:50 PM
Not every computer comes with a web cam, I have purchased several for guys at work and I don't get that feature.
 Here_In_Florida
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 158
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/18/2011 3:53:49 PM
Not every computer comes with a web cam, I have purchased several for guys at work and I don't get that feature.


Webcams are so late '90's lol



If it came down to that, well, c'est la vie. I was never so desperate that I was going to cater to someone who wanted a guarantee. It wasn't costing her any money, so I was taking all of the risk. If she couldn't show up, eat dinner and be pleasant regardless of how the meeting went, her social graces were somewhat lacking. I met several women who looked nothing like their photos and I still managed to do that AND pay for dinner without being traumatized.


If you're really that uptight about seeing how accurate the look by trying to get them to send you a picture on the spot or somehow arranging a method of seeing that person BEFORE meeting them, that's kinda a bit out there if you ask me.

Why analyze how someone looks, just meet them in person, and find out THEN....if they don't look like you expect, then move on. No big deal.
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 159
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First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/18/2011 6:08:26 PM
Every pic featured on my profile are recent, take via my phone or webcam.

These days, there is little excuse for people not have current photos featured on their profiles as most people I see tote around a modern mobile phone with camera.

I find it suspicious when I see users featuring Polaroid-esk photos from 2009 (or what have you). A lot of those photos are timed stamped. (eek!)

I'm not one to ask someone for a more recent photo. If I want to see them, I'll just ask her out for a "meet n greet". No harm in asking a woman out for 20 or so minutes. You may be surprised in what develops during the date.

On another note, I'm not very photogenic and on many occasions have been told I look much better in person. So, I usually take user photos with a grain of salt in knowing that a lot of use will look more attractive in person than some pic posted on their profile. In addition, a "meet n greet" will also give me a glimpse into a person's personality, which could make her all the more attractive.
 eroot
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 160
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/18/2011 11:08:15 PM
"Anyone can download Skype software, and every computer comes with a web cam from the manufacturer, so you know they don't want to show their face!"

i'm not sure who posted that, but they are grossly misinformed. not all computers come with a webcam, in fact, not even most laptops do. not every operating systems supports skype, as another poster mentioned.

i do have skype installed on my android phone, and i use that quite a bit with friends in europe, etc, but for some reason, meeting someone in person for the first time doesn't bother me, but video chatting with someone i don't know does. i wouldn't be interested in that until after i met them.

my pictures are all recent in that they are 1 - 2 years old, and main pictures are more recent.

using older pictures were one looks "better" is such a ridiculous thing to do, especially when they are trying to hide their weight.

some people like women/men who are bigger, some do not. all using a picture that disguises this will get you is one very uncomfortable, possibly embarrassing date you wish you never went on, for both parties. utter nonsense, and yet it does happen with some regularity. i just cannot imagine what one thinks they are going to accomplish with this "strategy." i've had this happen once, and it was awkward to a degree i never want to repeat.
 Luckys4thAce
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 161
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/19/2011 7:45:08 AM
I am not as orange and shiny as my picture. Especially in the winter. lol
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 162
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/19/2011 8:46:16 AM
That never happened to me, Some I had no connection with, they weren't ugly but no connection there.
I do hear that a lot from men tho..How the women looked nothing like their picture.
 UniquelyPassionateCandy
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 163
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/19/2011 9:39:43 AM
I have experienced the "you look nothing like your picture" meeting. It can be very disappointing and since then has also made me quite cautious about seeing a few pics of somebody . Or perhaps a cam chat just quickly to determine whether there would be any attraction, or just to decide if you are the person in your pics. Now days it makes me laugh when a guy says, "My computer won't let me upload pics" or "I dunno how" or "I don't have a cam" ...1.every computer will let you upload pics, google it and you will get a lesson. 2.again google it 3.a cam is cheap and can be purchased to quickly take some recent pictures. If you plan on meeting for real, he or she will find out what you really look like anyway so why lie? Be honest-and if you get rejected just look at it as-They weren't right for me anyway. And move on!
 ButlerButler
Joined: 4/6/2011
Msg: 164
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/19/2011 10:00:11 AM
I think such behavior is contemptible. I've heard so many such stories I'm very wary when I look at the pictures. My own pictures are recent and real. I honestly can't understand why someone would post great pictures of someone else, then show up looking 10 years older and 80 pounds heavier. I mean, do you LIKE to see the looks of disappointment and anger on people's faces?? If I went to meet someone and they had clearly lied on their pictures I'd turn around and walk out. They're clearly liars and don't care that you're going to realize it. That means you can't trust anything they say about anything.
 ApacheArrow
Joined: 10/12/2011
Msg: 165
When pictures in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 11/19/2011 10:35:26 AM
Ditto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Packagejust4u
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 166
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 5/1/2013 7:31:33 PM
Anyone know the doc you speak of from PA...Brashute? Wow a serious game player....serious problems! Called me every day, sometimes 2...texted all the time. Called me his Mrs., promises of getting married....then poof, he fell off the face of the earth. Well not really, he was still hitting the dating site but just dropped me like a hot potato with no reason.
If anyone has any info. would be interested to hear. Thanks!
 methodist77
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 167
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 5/2/2013 7:45:58 AM
People likely lie because of the responses here. The fact that their looks are not acceptable to people. I think the energy lying would be better spent exercising and working on the areas that they are obviously self concious about. But clearly, its easy to see why people do this. All you have to do is read this forum and the plethora of others here on POF.
 peaceful_garden
Joined: 4/10/2013
Msg: 168
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 5/2/2013 1:10:24 PM
I once mentioned to a guy that I thought he looked a bit too young in his pic for his age and was it current. So he sends me a current photo and obviously has not taken good care of himself at all, looked horrible, like someone who eats chips and never gets off the sofa.

When I declined his offer to meet, he called me shallow. So IMO it's just best to walk away and say nothing because they have just proved their integrity is out of wack. Who wants to discuss dishonesty with someone who tries to fool you?
 marilynh77
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 169
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 5/2/2013 10:48:55 PM
It happened! lol Thankful it only happened once to me and the guy was wayyyy too old anyway!!! ha ha ha
That's why I insist on a meeting within a few weeks to a month. Some people live in the past and can't get over the fact that the past is the past, they can't move into the presence! lol
It's call honesty! If they can't be honest about their pictures, then they definitely have issue with trust. Lacking confidence!
Enjoy and just move on from the weirdo! lol There are some but overall, there are a lot of good people on here so just enjoy and have a good laugh.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 170
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History
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 5/3/2013 10:48:54 PM
(op)

One story - I was meeting a girl for the first time. A public place. I got there a little early, and just sat around, making myself visible. More and more time passed, until I knew that it was way past when we were supposed to meet. I had already gotten up a couple of times and just casually walked around to see if she was there, but didn't see her. So I got up one last time to walk around. A girl came up to me, and asked "weren't you ever going to say hi?"

I immediately knew that this was someone that had been there for a while, because she was a woman by herself, so of course I'd looked at her a couple of times to see if it was her. This woman did not just look very different from her pics, like she'd aged or lost weight, but she looked like a completely different person. It sounds contradictory to say, but I know it was her, I could tell, but only after really looking...otherwise, she literally looked like a different person, not just a typical matter of her pics not being up to date. The difference was that drastic.

Now, some people can look a little different because of hair color or style, or age, and the real reason that a lot of folks want a current pic is because they're concerned with attractiveness of the sort that you can tell from the pics before personally seeing them, and they want to know if you're really 20 years older than your pics or not. Otherwise, when if comes to just recognizing someone, that shouldn't be too hard, typically at least. I myself have the experience of people immediately knowing who I am when they haven't seen me for 20 years or from a pic that's kind of old. But this was a weird experience in that it almost made me mad. "Wasn't I ever going to say hi?"?! Geez, I walked by her, within inches, about 4 times, and I would've bet money that it wasn't her. Did she really not realize that about herself, or her pics, or was going to tell me or account for that?
 LuvADKs
Joined: 8/31/2011
Msg: 171
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 5/10/2013 6:50:00 PM
I have been a forum freak on and off here since 2005. My profile pic probably needs updating now (from last summer).
What gets me is there are people on here who have THE SAME PROFILE PIC THAT THEY HAD IN 2005! (And who knows how old it was when they posted it!)
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 172
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 5/10/2013 7:24:28 PM
I once mentioned to a guy that I thought he looked a bit too young in his pic for his age and was it current. So he sends me a current photo and obviously has not taken good care of himself at all, looked horrible, like someone who eats chips and never gets off the sofa.

When I declined his offer to meet, he called me shallow. So IMO it's just best to walk away and say nothing because they have just proved their integrity is out of wack. Who wants to discuss dishonesty with someone who tries to fool you?


I had a similar experience, when an "athletic" man sent me a current photo showing himself to be at least 50 pounds heavier than the one he had posted in his profile. He explained to me that he'd had knee surgery a few months prior, and couldn't work out---but he normally wasn't overweight.

I told him to look me up after he took the weight off. He told me I was shallow. I retorted that it was better to be lacking in depth than to be dishonest.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 173
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History
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 5/11/2013 8:56:12 AM
^ Hhmm...I dunno...that seems a little "ify" there. A man had knee surgery and couldn't be physically active for a while, it seems that you might be interested in him otherwise or you wouldn't want to see him later...and you tell him to look you up later after he recovers and loses his weight? He sent you the overweight photo, obviously being upfront with you, and you tell him that he was dishonest, and could only offer a retort that justifies you lacking depth? I wonder if some of these stories are an accurate description of events.
 Packagejust4u
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 174
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 5/11/2013 5:57:51 PM
Well Sweetie if I were you I wouldn't waste my time on a trip to PA to meet the "doc". He is the biggest player of all!
He's the guy that calls a couple times a day, texts you till your phone dies all hours and calls you his wife and is going to marry you. Constantly tells you he is madly in love with you. Not sure he is anything else but a professional "player", very sly he is!! Well I've got his number, someday I will show up and surprise him..call his bluff and spit in his face.
Ladies be ware! If you dish it out you better be able to take it! What goes around comes around Doc....just saying!!
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 175
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 5/11/2013 6:27:04 PM
First of all, most of my pics are ones without make-up on. I hike and do a lot of stuff that involve sweating, so a guy better find me attractive without makeup. It's awesome because guys always say I look way better in person.

OK, I've met with a few guys who look nothing like their pic. It must be the angle or an old pic, but they looked way more fit than they actually were in person. A few times I couldn't even recognize them. I felt so defrauded! And it was a total waste of my time. The funny thing is, the ugliest of the bunch wouldn't talk to me afterwards. I wanted to be friends, but I totally got dissed lmao :)

I don't understand why people try to fool others when it's going to be revealed at some point anyway.
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