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 Bubbles27
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 176
Males disapproving of women having male friendsPage 3 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Depends on the level of friendship. Depends on if they used to date. I don't want to date a man that has hundreds of female friends he hangs out with nightly. That would bother me.
 italiaheartwild
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 179
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 4/23/2007 6:31:38 AM
I have more male friends than girl friends...so why does the gender of your friends make a difference....to each his own...friends are friends...unless the friendship has benefits than that would be the tie breaker in a relationship with someone.
I met a guy this year that has so many female friends on his messenger it amazed me how he could remember all of them....there were like over 150 of them...come to find out ....half of them were ex girlfriends or intimately involved ones from the past.....now that is where it should make a difference....to me an EX is a EX for a reason....why would you ever want to go back in the past..even if its just to chat...besides I showed him the curb real fast...thank God I never got sexually involved with him...my motto is ...know someone first before that step is taken ..who in their right mind would want to date someone that has been involved with so many others in a sexual relationship anyways?..............being friends with the opposite sex is one thing...but being intimate with all of them or most of them and still keeping in contact with them is another issue.
 python69
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 188
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/13/2007 8:17:27 PM
cmon guys this is realy a funny subject.the reason being you both had friends of the opposite sex before you got together and you will meet people along the way that you like .im sorry but when you met your girlfriend or wife you trusted her enough to get into a relationship or was she just a piece of assthat you didnt want to do with out trust is something you have in your mate from the day you became more than friends .if you dont trust or cant trust her why are you with her.trust is warranted until shes proven that she cant be trusted and you dont have to look for it ,it will show itself or is it you dont trust yourself.a bit of jealousy is good for a relationship ,but taken to the extreme will cause a break up.me myself i have no problem with my mate having male friends .we are all grown and each and every one of us know that if we want to do something with someone else we are gonna find away to do it .everyone has that thought that comes to them when you are about to do something wrong and thats when you should ask yourself is it worth losing the person im with and we all make a decision .if you live your life wondering whether your mate is going to be unfaithful ,damn it!!! stay single and you wont have to.
 python69
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 190
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/13/2007 8:27:01 PM
although we have to heads and the better percentage would think with their dingalings...lol i have female friends and i mean some sexy women ,but and in all honesty i have looked them over when they werent looking ,but would never cross that line and they are friends of 8 to 25 yrs knowing them. each should give the trust that they want from their mate
 Internetdatingpariah
Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 197
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/14/2007 1:07:08 PM
tika beaker

thank god someone understands this! thedancingqueen is dead on, boys dont want girls for 'friends'. in fact all of the males i have though to be "friends" with me have tried to kiss me at some point or another. yes there are the times where i float down the river with the guys i gradded with but they are just people to hang out with to add something different to my normal female/female relationships.
i think you girls need a reality check, to think boys want you for your mind (and only your mind) is very naive.


Wow...I've had female friends for over 30 years now and that's all they've ever been "FRIENDS". Never kissed them in a sexual way or came on to them. Most men I know have female friends. Maybe BOYS don't but men certainly can.

Let's face facts. There are certain topics that you just CANNOT talk about with your guy friends and that's where my women friends help.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 201
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/14/2007 1:35:49 PM
I have had a male best friend for over 15 years. We addressed sex fairly early on... probably the first 6 months or year of our friendship. He felt the friendship we had was way more valuable to him... we could easily get laid with other people, let's not screw this up. At the time I disagreed with him... lol... but I ended up agreeing with him.

One relationship I was in had a significant problem with our friendship and it caused a real dilema for me... where is the integrity in giving up a best friend vs. making your partner feel secure? My friend sensed the problem and backed out fast, to not cause me any difficulties. And I didn't "go after him"... just let it slide. Always felt horrible about it. Still do, I expect better from me. I expect more from my b/f.

When the relationship ended, I picked up the phone, told my friend how much I had missed him in my life and asked his forgiveness. I have promised myself that I will never be a "fair weather friend" like this again.

The last b/f was pretty secure so it wasn't an issue, the three of us did a lot of stuff together. I hope it won't be an issue with my next b/f.
 Internetdatingpariah
Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 205
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/15/2007 9:04:50 AM
Wow dancingqueen.
Hard to believe people like you are still around.
Granted you're pretty on the outside, but from what you just wrote that's about it.

As I've said. I have had female friends for 30 years. No sex, no kissing, no flirting.
Friends....just friends.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 206
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/15/2007 9:30:07 AM

the base reasons are to keep their male friends is that they were there for them in some kind of crises in their life and that women don't wish to give up that security just in case their relationship fails


Sorry.. I just have to shake my head and say "HUH"?

I want to keep all my friends, not just the male friends and most certainly not in case my relationships fail.. BECAUSE they are my friends. Period. If any prospective males have issues with me having male friends... they can keep on a-walkin. Right on past.

What I don't understand is the type of jerkwad who'd ask you to ditch your friends because of their insecurity.

Enlighten me on that...
 B-sides
Joined: 3/22/2007
Msg: 213
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/15/2007 11:23:12 PM
The prancing princess has got to be a fake acct. who is really a guy. No doubt. Isn't it obvious?

If the friend is sexually frustrated and hot of course there will be suspicion without trust. That's why there has to be openness, and sexual satisfaction in a relationship in order for there to be complete trust for younger people, or very sexual people. You got to know someone.
 rainy37
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 216
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/16/2007 7:08:09 AM
This is all total bullshite. It's not about wether your friends are male or female. Basically you think men should have male friends and women should have female friends. That is riduculous and imature. I have many friends of both sexes and feel equally the same about both. A good relationship is the bond that holds a couple together. If you are content and trusting of your relationship then it shouldn't hurt your partner to have friends of the opposite sex. That's it and that's all.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 217
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/16/2007 8:08:06 AM

Every guy that some of you purport to be friends has probably at one time or another thought about sleeping with you.


I've thought about sleeping with lots of people. Thoughts dont mean very much. If they had, I'd have boffed many a rockstar by now.


You don't have to believe me, you can ask Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal about that.


You mean ask actors about a fictional story where they read/memorized a script that was written in such a way as to entertain. Ask them about that, you mean?


Or is he just going to have sex with you?


Well on the planet where I live, real friends wouldn't sex you up if A) you're involved with someone else or B) you've only ever been friends and neither of you have indicated any sort of sexual interest in eachother.

Some folks do use their friends as f*ck toys during the dry times, but that doesn't mean everyone does.

I don't have "pseudo friendships", I have real ones. They may or may not last for reasons having zero to do with sex.. who knows. Life is like that.

Repeating that test business over and over doesn't make it valid, by the way. Maybe your friends have failed this test of yours, but that really only means that your friends weren't real ones.


If you were a real friend, and you accepted that some of them had feelings for you, real feelings, you'd set them free. Free to keep on moving and look for someone else.


WTF?? They already are free if they're a friend as opposed to being your BF. We have this free-will thingy.. we don't have to stick around in a situation where we're in love with someone not in love with us.

My male friends aren't settling for friendship. They've never been told "sorry, all we are is friends because I don't want to boff you".They're my friends because they wanna be. Period.


What if you had a boyfriend or a husband, and I was his "friend", how would you feel? What if I had lunch with him once a week and it shouldn't be a big deal since we are just "friends" What if I came over to your house for a BBQ and spent lots of time laughing and talking to your boyfriend or husband, wouldn't bother you right, since we are just "friends"


Yes. And?


What if I spent 20 minutes slowly licking a popsicle in front of your husband or boyfriend. You know at a party during the summer. What if he was talking to me and I slowly and lovingly licked every inch of that popsicle again and again and again. But that wouldn't bother you right? Since it's just "friends" right?

As if that would be true. You would pissed out of your mind. You'd be pissed out of your mind if I did none of those things but showed even a passing interest in your boyfriend or husband.


You're actually screwing up your own argument. If you were really friends.. you wouldn't do something so blatantly obvious and stupid.


Because if given the chance, your boyfriend or husband would, in most cases, screw my brains out if they got the chance and could get away with it without you knowing.


Spoken like a true.. well nevermind, but you seem to think pretty highly of your charms. How do you know everyone else (male) would too?


You know what? I feel sorry for you. For denying what is obvious. The guys out there just want to screw. And they want girls like me to screw with.


Nice insult to men everywhere. Also pompous much?

Boggles the mins, it does. Whew.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 223
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/17/2007 6:28:28 AM

It's because they know how other men think.
It's because they know what the majority of men will do if they can get away with it.


So men generalize eachother, too? Gosh... I thought that was our job. Hmmm.

So what if my friend thinks I'm bangable? I'm worried about what he's DOING, not so much what he's thinking.

It still all boils down to trust. If you don't trust your bf/gf... get the hell out because they aren't going to live a male/female friendless existence for you to soothe your insecurities.
 DrJJ1967
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 224
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/17/2007 6:47:32 AM
I have been a counselor in some respect for more than 20 years. When one partner has an inordinate number of opposite-sex friends it is always, given time, 100% fatal to a relationship. You can argue and give your opinion - doesn't matter. It is fatal to a relationship.

More than 20 times in my short life I have had couples, including married couples, sitting with me with a relationship in tatters because of this. You may look at the current state of your relationship and say, "these guys/girls are only friends." That is true now. The problem is:

1) Lots of people, women especially, use an orbit of circling men as an escape hatch - especially former dates that they have told "let's just be friends." If something goes wrong with a relationship that they are actually invested in, they have other people that they can fall back on that they already know are interested. Someone who wants to keep opposite-sex friends in an orbit additionally demonstrates that, because they want this safety net, they are not really serious about developing a relationship with and investing everything in just one person.

2) You may be friends right now, but when your romantic relationship gets hairy or unfulfilling, you WILL be tempted to seek solace and comfort from these opposite-sex friends instead of investing more in your romantic relationship and trying to iron out whatever problems may exist. Dozens of times (that I personally know of) somebody running to an opposite-sex friend "just to talk" or for comfort quickly escalates into an affair and tanks the romantic relationships of one or both of them.

3) Even if YOU have the best of intentions - that doesn't mean your opposite-sex friends do. More than once, somebody who has sworn that they only wanted to remain friends has had their relationship torpedoed in one way or another by an opposite-sex friend who decided that either it ought to be something more or that if he/she tanks your current love relationship, he/she can then have you.

This, as I say, given time, is ALWAYS 100% fatal. It is a bad idea and someone who denies this is responding on a naively emotional level rather than facing facts. And someone who needs to have a bunch of opposite-sex friends hanging around all the time is simply not ready for a committed, exclusive, romantic relationship.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 225
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/17/2007 6:53:29 AM

This, as I say, given time, is ALWAYS 100% fatal.


You can't claim that with any certainty whatsoever. You may believe it, but you can't just blanketly state it's always fatal all the time.
 capegardengirl
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 228
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/17/2007 11:02:01 AM
Msg#13.."Its very rare for a woman to have "true"male friends"...When you are under 30, thats true..I see that many 20 somethings have very shallow and superficial relationships with the opposite sex, whether it is friendship or not....Alot of insecure game playing, egos running amock and immaturity......So wait a bit...Both men and women get more secure and have more self confidence as well as assert their needs more as they get older.....Things change in your 30s and many men your age at that time and beyond make good friends with women...
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 236
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 5/24/2007 6:21:58 PM
I have no problem with a woman who has male, straight friends as well as female straight friends. In fact, I see it as a sign of maturity.

But I know some younger women who hang out with a crowd of young men, who clearly have no interest in ANY women except for sex, and the few females that they know are clearly hanging onto these women, in case they can get a boyfriend from one of these men.

I have no problem with these women either. As long as they are fully aware of what these men want. If the woman tries to deny these men's intentions, then she is not being fully honest with me.

It is the lack of honesty that destroys the relationship, not anything else.
 MB58SC
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 241
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 6/9/2007 6:16:57 AM
I don't care who she's friends with. She could hang out with Tom Cruise and I couldn't care less.
 floridaman4u
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 243
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 6/9/2007 9:59:56 PM
break in case of emergency (eddie murphy ) said it best .... and if a guy has female friends ? it really depends on trust and your relationship ..
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 249
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 12/22/2007 2:57:20 PM

well i see it this way....you either want friends or you want a lifetime partner..which is it?


After many years... after a failed marriage and failed relationships.. after many years of twisting myself into a pretzel to please my "partner" I have learned something... Real friends are rare, they are a treasure beyond compare and the person who can count his/her real friends on more than one hand is VERY fortunate. Relationships come and go.... occassionally they last, but real friends will ALWAYS be there for you. I refuse to make the choice between friends and a partner, or friends and family.... my friends are like my child or my pets, they are part of the package of who I am. Male or female, it doesn't matter. I would be one hell of a lousy friend if I abandoned my friends, for ANY reason. I would not, for a second, entertain the notion of giving up my friends for romance. How shallow is that. That would show a real lack of commitment and integrity and loyalty. Who wants to be with someone who can't be loyal? Anyone I would want to be with would have this kind of loyalty also... he would be my best friend, not my ONLY friend.

I'd rather be alone than be a fickle friend.
 lowonfunds
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 250
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 12/22/2007 3:31:00 PM
Just getting in my 2 cents. But from personal experience, I refer to females having male friends as "d*ck in a glass case syndrome". Even if the guy tells the girl he is just her friend, he HAS fantasized about much more and is waitning for her moment of vulnerability. Not always the females fault because women dont quite realize how primative the male gender is!
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 251
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 12/23/2007 8:32:25 AM

well i see it this way....you either want friends or you want a lifetime partner..which is it?


I want (and have) both. No intentions of changing my life to suit some insecure man who presumes all my male friends want to jump my bones. Had my male friends wanted such, surely they'd have tried it by now.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 252
Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 12/23/2007 8:44:46 AM
I didn't dance around anything.

The position being taken by many on this thread is that our male friends WANT to sleep with us, hence.. they're not our friends.

My point (undanced around, no less) is if these male friends of mine wanted to sleep with me, surely they'd not have kept quiet about it in all the years we've been friends and made a move as such.

They haven't.. so obviously, they ARE my friends and not just looking to nail me. As some insecure male participants in this thread would have everyone believe.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 253
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/10/2009 12:40:04 AM
Women are not going to jettison male friends for the sake of a relationship
likewise, Men should not jettison female friends of a relationship either...

A relationship is not reeally a relatiosnhip if it requires forced changes
~sc~
 ElleShooTiger
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 254
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Males disapproving of women having male friends
Posted: 10/10/2009 1:12:50 AM
Interesting thread, but is it acceptable for your partner to have over fifty male friends on her FACEBOOK account? I don't think that's acceptable or normal in a relationship. Of course she will have lifelong friends that is normal.


Bwahahaha since when does facebook "friends" signify anything? She can have as many friends on there, for the most part most facebook friends are people we randomly meet or went to school or work with, but RARELY talk to. I have nearly 1k on there but doubt I've talked to more than 100 since I left college, and no way in hell would I delete any of them if a girl started asking questions about who this and that girl are!

If you're going to be the douche that checks her facebook and asks her about every guy, just please go ahead and drop out of the gene pool. My best friend is a female, and she dated somebody who obsessed over her facebook friends until she deleted them, effin loser!!!!

Americans are too damn stuck on SEX! People in other countries are smart enough to realize its not just about sex, but also companionship and being real friends. I have good female friends, yes I might have slept with some of them in the past, but in the end the sex gets pushed to the back burner and you can have fun and be there for one another. Its not just about getting some and running away!

We all in our minds think about having sex with a friend, but only the strong are able to rationalize the fact that a friend is almost always better in the long run. I have a very attractive neighbor who goes out with me quite often, I keep an eye on her if she gets drunk, she introduces me to her friends, and if there are unsuitables around, we'll play the bf/gf gig and run them off. We hang out and BS a lot, and I would never want to ruin a good friendship just for a few hours of pleasure. She is very attractive, but there are also a lot of damn good reasons I would not want to date or get involved with her physically.

Overall, it all boils down to TRUST. If you cant handle your woman talking to another guy without going nuts, you need to get over your insecurity and jealousy!


As has been said many times, if he's just your friend, take your clothes off... if he wraps a blanket around you, and tells you to go get dressed, he's gay( oh sorry, your friend)...
If he tries to have sex with you, then you know for sure....


That is such a childish, petty thing to try.

Where's the option for "I've always wondered what a naked statue would look in my living room"? Haha some people think a naked body = sex, they're brains would explode on most european beaches! Get naked all you want, but if the friend benefits vastly outweigh any possible sexual benefits, I'll just sit back and laugh.
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