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 50 styles
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 4
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
some men r intimidated, but 2 me a girl whos winey is a real turn off
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 35
Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/4/2007 8:02:31 PM
fame28 (OP),

90% of the time, it's not you being intimidating. Being too picky? Likely... and the pickiness itself could indirectly cause you to come off in a way that rubs a guy the wrong way. It happens a lot with certain types of women who are... "independent".
 yoda6
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 38
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/8/2007 11:14:30 AM
You are right! about the foreign women obsession and about the north american woman (in general) being stereotyped. I get it all the time. I also get a lot of men who just want to come and meet at my house.. or have me go to theirs..now to me that speaks of purely their need to have sex. or see how submissive you are. I am not into it. Meeting that way. If a man is interested then he should also have consideration and respect and know that a woman who is truly looking for a partner on here isn't going to want to do that. Usually these men are between the age of 36, 38 to 45 or there abouts. I find that if a man is looking for a woman who is submissive or fitting a servile role.. then he is an insecure man who feels he has to control everything including people in his life. This is not a man I would be interested in. For sure!.
 yoda6
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 39
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/8/2007 11:16:56 AM
From my point of view... you are right. If a guy needs to feel he has to have "power" over a woman the he is not the kind of guy I want to be with.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 42
Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/8/2007 12:43:42 PM
The problem isn't necessarily the woman, nor is it usually the man. It's the terminology. It seems everyone wants a label. And those who don't, end up labeled anyway. Independent/strong is not the same to all people. BUT, the label itself seems to reek of feminism. That's a banner I have no interest in wearing, so I don't use the term independent for myself. Self-sufficient seems more descript and palatable. (At least from my perspective.)
 Landra
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 45
Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/3/2009 11:34:04 AM

a strong, independent woman
can often be interpreted as that hostile "I don't need a man!!!"attitude and... most people enjoy being needed, at least a little bit.
 mulberry4000
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 52
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/7/2009 6:56:48 PM
NO

But western women tend to be domineering and wants to rule the home but not realizing their is other fish in the sea. In fact i see a lot of british women as being very scared and frightened to so they have to prove their worth in a relationship, just look at the number of divorcees on this site and in the uk, its shocking, thats not strength that is fear.

I truly call a strong independent woman when they do something like this. In gaza a few years ago, some women went to protest against armed Israeli soldiers , who were going to shoot their husbands who was holed up in the mosque nearby, the women where not armed, but they went for their husbands and brother etc. I have nothing but admiration for them women, trully independent and strong, they were ready to put their lives on the line for some on they loved and cared about.

The kicker here two where shot dead by isreali soldiers, talk about courage. would any British woman do that for their husbands or brothers now, I do not believe so, more likely head for the divorce courts or just dump them when they are in trouble. I know i am generalizing but thats what i have seen and experienced.
 obeythepug
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 56
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/8/2009 2:09:33 PM

there's nothing wrong with BEING independent; there's PLENTY wrong with going on and on... and ON, about it. Most men, I bet, see more red flags than in Beijing on May-Day, when they read a woman describe herself as "independent". Especially when it seems like she's BRAGGING about it, like it's some sort of special accomplishment.


I am female and agree with that. If you are an adult, I expect that you are independent. I also think that too many women mistakenly use the word intimidated to protect their ego. A guy doesn't like me it must be because he was intimidated because I am too smart/sexy/independent or other positive characteristic that a normal guy would want. It is easier on the ego to think that than to think you are ugly, have a bad personality, too fat or other defect.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 67
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/9/2009 12:49:44 PM

It seems a lot of guys want someone they think is beneath them. If she has a menial job, is dumb, and is about as deep as a raindrop...

It's not what we want. It's just what we're used to because that's all there is.


Really guys how would you feel if at your first date you meet somewhere and she drives up in a new Mercedes while you have a Hyundai?

Wasn't a Hyundai the car of the year last year? (A: Yep... http://money.cnn.com/2009/01/08/autos/2009_car_of_the_year/ ) And is there anything which quite says "over-priced, high maintenance, POC" the way a Merc does?
 Artimesia1
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 78
Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/11/2009 9:19:02 PM
I know you asked for a man's opinion but I just wanted to comment. If you are strong, stable, independent young woman, then stay that way. Don't ever change who you are to get a guy. There is someone out there who will love you for EXACTLY who you are. Keep looking and don't ever compromise yourself .
 FastReb
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 79
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/11/2009 10:08:30 PM

The way to describe myself is i'm independent, strong, emotionally stable...I've been dating for about 8 mo.. Haven't found anybody that's really my type..Sometimes I wonder if i'm being too picky or I might come off a certain way that guys feel intimidated by.
I'd appreciate a man's perspective on this.


I am sure there will be some who are and some who aren't. Here's a suggestion to sort the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. Think of it as a starting point.

Start out by looking to date military men or former military. After all, if they've survived combat and still have their head on straight, how are you going to intimidate them when they've had people trying to maim or kill them? Just take it from there.
 discrete_contact
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 83
Self-proclaimed Independent Women = Self-proclaimed Nice Guys
Posted: 2/12/2009 10:34:43 PM
Strong, idependent....etc,etc, yada-yada-bla.
Looking carefuly at the concept used on the streets and implemented on the daily basis
mean "tons of bullshit" for a man. Its the "don't even go there" stuff.
Not because of the strong and independent....crap...I have been in the military service so I don't need more "militariness" in my life.
Some TV show guys from my native country came to US and people are talking right? and tell realities right?.....Well the guy when he went back home said: I am going home and I will never let this happen. Meaning? Back home if women "jumps over the horse" they end up ignored on a daily and national level and fingers start pointing to them wherever and whenever. At the TV, on the streets, jokes come around, men don't give a shit on them....whatever. You may risk a **** you directly on your face.
But interestingly enough....women know how to be fiminine and lovely....Now go and figure this out......."strongly independent" women. You tell me. Howcome many of your men go to Thailand....and other neighbouring countries? HOWCOME? Why do they go there? Because they miss you so much?

Have you ever heard of Argentinians or Brazilians going to Thailand for sex?....HUH?
Any examples? Send me a picture please.
 Stefanos79
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 84
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/13/2009 10:52:29 AM
Do guys feel intimidated by strong, independent women? Absolutely not! Personally to me it is a huge turn on, it's one thing to have a women you connect with emotionally and physically, but its even better to connect with someone that has the same qualities and that is also driven to succeed. Many people will not agree with that statement but its my opinion.
 hawk30
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 90
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:19:40 AM
I think its cool, I was once in maylasia and got o hang out with a girl from aussie. She was one of the coolest chicks i have ever met. She was very independent, would pay half the food and booze bill and the board, I never ever have been with a women where she would pay usually i would be the one paying so it was different. And in bed she told me exactly how she wanted it and which way etc.... Needless to say it was a time i enjoyed and i have no problem with independent women, its the jealousy thats the worst.
 Go Rin No Sho
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 113
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/5/2009 9:52:35 PM
Yes.

Next question?
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 119
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/10/2009 7:02:22 AM
^^ Now THAT's a good post!

A great relationship is not possible if either a man or a woman are overly independent... they can't unbend sufficiently in oder to fully share themselves and their lives. Inter-dependence is the relationship ideal.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 125
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/11/2009 9:16:56 AM
^^ How much work would they have to do to get "past the surface"?

In many ways, what we're talking about is a matter of degree. There ARE some women who wear their "strong, independent women" as a cloak to protect them from the world. "I don't need you, so don't you dare even think about trying to help me out with anything... because if you do want to help me out, you're saying I am weak and dependent."

That type of behaviour makes it very hard to get past the surface. In actuality, the perceived strength is really a weakness. Because it means - or can mean - that every exchange with the person becomes a bit of a power struggle. Where, I don't know, changing a light bulb means something.

I don't believe for one moment that most men are intimidated by a capable, resilient self-sufficient woman. I think they might look at someone with their walls up, someone who is looking out at the world from behind those fortified fortress walls and think something along the lines of: "yeah, well, actually I'm not into scaling walls and 'proving myself', I'd really just like to share my life with someone who is comfortable enough in their own skin that they can allow me in"

Personally, I wouldn't want to try to be with someone who was taking every opportunity to point out to me that they didn't need me.
I may have already said this earlier in this thread, but it's kinda like buying someone a cup of coffee: You feel good about sharing something, even that small and insignificant, with someone you like. Of course they are pefectly capable of buying their own dam coffee, but it just feels good to be nice, to share. Why wouldn't someone want to also let the other person feel good about sharing something with them? Giving is sometimes be willing to accept the other person's offerings... not making them feel bad for offering it up.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 128
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/12/2009 7:09:59 AM

People have a surface persona that they present to the world based on what works for their lives

True, however, a surface persona is a coping strategy and a defense mechanism.

Isn't the goal to become an integrated person, authentically who you are, so you can drop these masks and layers?

If ones secret wish is for someone to recognize who they are behind their defensive layers and reach past that to find them, isn't that really just a modified version of "waiting for the prince on the white charger"?

Wouldn't a more effective goal be to shed ones own defensive layers? When strength and independence become a barrier to revealing you humanity and vulnerability, is it really a strength?
 mzilla
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 139
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 3/24/2009 1:14:59 PM

Your "strength and independence" may have nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with a guy not wanting to get to know you. Guys are repeatedly saying that they notice a rather high co-relation between a woman declaring her "strength and independence", and her having other NEGATIVE traits -- yet it seems to ALWAYS be COMPLETELY ignored. Maybe the "strength and independence" declaration needs to be rethought?


Bingo
 dmyc
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 141
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Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 4/10/2009 10:14:13 PM
Yes... Unless your hot.
Then your really intimating
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 142
Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman?
Posted: 4/10/2009 11:25:16 PM
OP usually women that are strong, independent and strong and self sufficient they usually like to have things one way; theirs. I am not intimidated in the least by you so save it.

You are not intimidating; it's just that men and women are sick of people parading around and acting so big and strong when it shows a lot of insecurity as far as I'm concerned. I want a partner, not someone that doesnt' really need me for anything but to have sex and do what they want me to do. no thanks.
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