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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 77
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

A woman gets rejected just as often. It's passive rejection. Not being looked at in a grocery line up


I would be the King of Rejection then. I never see women checking me out in the grocery store. It's even harder to get noticed now, since the majority of people are either yapping on their cell phone, tapping on, it or constantly checking for messages-while wearing ear buds. People are doing this even when they get up to the cashier and it's time to pay.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 78
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/6/2014 1:17:08 PM

People are doing this even when they get up to the cashier and it's time to pay.


I'm with you on that annoying garbage, especially when people block certain areas of the store. Or choke off an aisle, effectively creating a bottleneck that I can't pass. I purposefully will NEVER buy a smart phone for this reason. Anyone who takes that piece of junk out and allows it to cloud their perception is moronic. Why? Just because email and facebook is more important than making sure you don't block people off or run into them? People are so stupid.

Grocery stores are the best place to go if you've got a stress disorder and want to induce a high level of anxiety. You got cell phones out, people that run into you by not paying attention, and then people who bottleneck aisles.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 79
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In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/6/2014 1:43:02 PM
^^^

Some males are just a lot more confident than others. It becomes self fulfilling. They handle rejection better and don't let he anxiety stop them from going after what they want. It comes across when they have asked me out, made plans, kissed goodnight for the first time, etc. They are in control of their lives and the situation. As a woman, I like this in a guy.

The odds of my guy complaining and posting about some woman blocking an aisle is zero. He just wouldn't notice or, if he did, wouldn't let it get to him. This is really an issue for you?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 80
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/6/2014 4:25:57 PM

A woman gets rejected just as often. It's passive rejection. Not being looked at in a grocery line up, not being asked to dance, etc.

Do women really want to be given the elevator while trying to shop, drive, eat, whatever? Why? Ugh. A woman's sense of acceptance shouldn't come from how many people look at her while she's trying to get food somewhere and get to the next place.

Yep, nothing like trying to get a little shopping done while some guy is looking you up and down saying, "grrrreat melons!"

Yes exactly. For some of us it's the opposite...we want to get stuff done without being noticed...it's annoying. And this isn't about being into ourselves or thinking we are any kind of big deal. We know that outside of breathing/not being dead there's not much else we're doing to get this attention. Guys like this are usually looking at just about everything, instead of just shopping and going home.

Not all of us want to be asked to dance either - most of us bring our own dance partners. Our girlfriends - and we do it to avoid standing alone long enough to become a target.

Maybe this is a regional or generational thing.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 81
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/6/2014 5:18:31 PM
There is nothing flattering in being eyed off for your physical assets, by some stranger. You are just being objectified
and yes women do dress for attention I know. The skimpy clothing the young wear mindboggles me.
I am older now and glad not to be a sexual object any longer and am comfortable not being noticed as I go about my daily business.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 84
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/6/2014 10:00:14 PM

Some males are just a lot more confident than others. It becomes self fulfilling. They handle rejection better and don't let he anxiety stop them from going after what they want. It comes across when they have asked me out, made plans, kissed goodnight for the first time, etc. They are in control of their lives and the situation. As a woman, I like this in a guy.

The odds of my guy complaining and posting about some woman blocking an aisle is zero. He just wouldn't notice or, if he did, wouldn't let it get to him. This is really an issue for you?


Yeah, it isn't gender specific either, its called being well-adjusted and self-confident.

Are you really that confused? Do you not understand that I was replying in context to what I quoted? And that I wasn't replying to the context of the thread topic. That is what a quote is for.

And I said no guy wants to be humiliated- I didn't say that no guy has the balls to ask a girl out, dance, or kiss her at the end of the night. If that's what you though.

And I sure as hell didn't say that I had problems in that area. You have no idea who I am, what I am capable of, and what I've done. So keep that in mind when you make stupid statements.

Also, the reason why I don’t like choke points, being blocked from moving forward, and having people obstruct my ability to get what I need, and get out. Is because I don’t need to explain it to you, just understand that you’re ignorant of me, and what I’ve done. You’ve led a pedestrian life, and so has your boyfriend. So you get to bumble around in public like an idiot.

Whereas my experience differed with choke points. So I get to dislike choke points, and crowded areas filled with people like you, and your boyfriend, who have always lived in blissful ignorance.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 85
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/6/2014 11:22:54 PM

Most (not all, but most) guys don't like to dance, it simply isn't written in our DNA, that's why you make gay male friends. No guy wants to be publicly humiliated, so not dancing, and not being turned down is a great way to avoid that.


IDK, maybe you were humiliated @ your 1st Jr high School Dance, when you walked over & asked the cute Girl to Dance. But, unless you can show some Facts that show Most guys don't like to Dance, I'll take this like most things on a internet forum. 87% of Facts stated like this are made up in the posters own head.

For my generation & the places I lived, unless you were introduced by friends, the most common place to meet someone of the opposite sex was a bar that had live music or a DJ. I've traveled all over the States & every town I've been in, a Club or Bar with a Band is hopping & most the time the Dance Floor is full as long as the Band is playing something the people like to dance to. I can say playing Bars in a Cover Band, if we didn't have the people up dancing, we weren't doing our job. I don't see that much change for my Son's generation, either. Though their music isn't my music.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 86
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/7/2014 12:34:12 AM
That gay male friends thing was actually a joke lol.

But what I was referring to was based off a well written article, that made good points as to why men typically don't like to dance, or avoid it all together. I am personally not opposed to it, because its a good way to meet women. No guy goes dancing for any reason, other than to meet women. It isn't an interest, if it is an interest for a guy, its kind of weird unless it serves some sort of artistic/career purpose.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 87
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/7/2014 2:38:38 AM
When I didn't have a Gig, I'd go out to friends Bands show & help out. Run their sound board or let them know if they needed to adjust the sound levels, when one part wasn't sounding good. Another thing I'd do, if the audience was sitting on their hands, was grab one of their Girl Friends & go dance to a song. Sometimes you just need someone to get up 1st, then others would, too. A 'break the ice' kind of thing. If the people are dancing, then they're also buying more drinks, & that's what a bar looks at, how much money a band brings in with them.

I've found that most guys who don't like to dance, tends to have friends that feel the same. Then they say, most guys don't like to, because the people they hang with, don't. Yet, go to any Tourist town & there will be a 'Hot Spot' that has Music & people Dancing....
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 88
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In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/7/2014 10:28:23 AM

Yes exactly. For some of us it's the opposite...we want to get stuff done without being noticed...it's annoying. And this isn't about being into ourselves or thinking we are any kind of big deal. We know that outside of breathing/not being dead there's not much else we're doing to get this attention. Guys like this are usually looking at just about everything, instead of just shopping and going home.

Not all of us want to be asked to dance either - most of us bring our own dance partners. Our girlfriends - and we do it to avoid standing alone long enough to become a target.

Maybe this is a regional or generational thing.


I always thought that was an case, I was actually surprised when some girls wanted me to dance with them, I was told after the club had ended that one girl was annoyed that I didn't try to dance with her. Like I'm suppose to read minds because the girl who's dancing in an circle with her friends and turning down guys left and right, really looks inviting.


I can relate to what you're saying. A few years back I signed up for local womens kickboxing classes. It was supposed to be women only. I actually wanted women only classes. First class I rush over after work, the last to arrive barely just making it….and there were more men than women in my 'women's' class. I guess it's a common thing for a lot of places but shoot I had no clue. I'd always get stuck in front of this big guy who would stare at me during the warm ups. It was uncomfortable. Then got hit on by another after finishing class a few times. I didn't sign up to meet men it was just awkward and uncomfortable. Looking like hell warmed over and drenched in sweat the last thing I wanted was to socialize with a man, and not what I was looking for at all. Also put me in a weird spot, I didn't want to be rude as I had to see this man in class again. Had I known it wasn't really a women only class I probably wouldn't have signed up- maybe thats just me.[.quote]

I'm the opposite of those guys there's no way I would join an fitness kickboxing class, those classes typically don't involve contact. I thought about signing up for an class but then I realized it would be mostly females doing kickboxing aerobics so I avoided that one. I signed up for Karate and ended up sparring against women anyway.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 89
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In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/7/2014 3:04:50 PM
^^^^

Behind blue eyes.

True. We go dancing once a week...often twice. Those hundreds of guys...all ages... on the dance floor sure seem to be having fun.

And yes, also true. We judge a band by on many of us are up dancing. Blah tunes and no zip is a downer...we like it cranked up.

My guy is perhaps the worse dancer in the universe but he loves to get up and boogie...and I love him for it.
 LLM211
Joined: 2/4/2014
Msg: 91
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In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/14/2014 5:27:04 PM
It is more difficult for men. Rejection tends to lower a man's self esteem and that leads to more future rejections because women don't find low self esteem attractive.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 92
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/14/2014 9:09:38 PM
^^^One might argue that if men are rejected more than women, they should be more desensitized to it and take it less personally. If rejection lowers self esteem it's because the person allows it to do so. That can be changed with a different mindset.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 93
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In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/14/2014 9:38:24 PM
^^^ true

One's ability at handling of rejection is formed before adulthood. Self esteem is shaped in youth rather than by a woman saying yes or no. What a man might learn is more the mechanics through experience. Some dust themselves off and hop back on the horse...others walk out of the corral. Those that walk out can, indeed change their behaviour. Might not be easy but they have the inner strength to walk back in and try again.

It becomes self fulfilling. Confidence shows...leads to success. Success leads to more confidence. Confidence is attractive.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 94
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/15/2014 9:36:16 AM
I've been chasing women since 1st grade, and can say, all that rejection I got...doesn't make it hurt less, doesn't desensitize me or numb me to it so I can go out and do more of it. Hit your thumb with a hammer until it desensitizes...do you automatically go, "thank goodness, now I can continue" ? :)

If anything, male logic goes, "well, this isn't working, why keep doing what doesn't work?" Like Einstein's definition of insanity. (On a side note, of course not all men are logical).

Personally, if I fail for decades at something I wish I could do, yeah, its gonna affect my self esteem. I'd have to be weird for it to not do so. It doesn't mean I feel bad about everything in my life, just the dating part. I have to accept reality as it has been demonstrated the last 4 decades. But not getting the woman I want to date me, doesn't make me question my ability to lead at a job or pick a proper retirement plan or the right washing machine or....

Its like telling the homeless guy that money has absolutely nothing to do with his self-esteem--sure it does! A sudden influx of money won't fix everything in his self esteem, but not being able to afford a shower or sleep in a safe place, yeah, a lack of money affects his self esteem to some point, and thinking happy thoughts won't change the fact people act in accordance to his stink or that he can't get a good night's rest.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 95
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In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/15/2014 9:55:32 AM
Gotmustang

Much of what you say makes sense. However, a woman saying 'no' is like hitting your thumb with a hammer? Why does it need to hurt so much? Low self esteem? Better to work on your confidence than obsessing on the 'pain' of rejection.

It is a quite sane, common, healthy activity for a man to ask a woman out. Not some traumatic aberration. One would expect a well adjusted single male to spend a good part of his waking moments thinking about women and how to 'Catch one'. Cro magnon did it...and just about every straight male for the last 50 thousand years. Just about every well adjusted female is wanting to be caught by the right guy.

Bottom line. You are not alone. Some of us women are asked out literally thousands of times in our lifetime. My sisters and I would go out together and would politely turn down a couple dozen guys in a club (back in our 20's). It's 'normal'. Don't take it so personal. It shouldn't be like getting hit in the thumb. It should be like trying to catch a snowflake on your tongue...missing...then trying for another. Enjoy the chase. Remember that there is a woman who wants to be caught.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 97
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/15/2014 8:53:03 PM
Its like telling the homeless guy that money has absolutely nothing to do with his self-esteem--sure it does! A sudden influx of money won't fix everything in his self esteem, but not being able to afford a shower or sleep in a safe place, yeah, a lack of money affects his self esteem to some point, and thinking happy thoughts won't change the fact people act in accordance to his stink or that he can't get a good night's rest.


I like this analogy - can I use it with the possible next therapist who tries to feed me the old "look more at the positive" BS?

Oh, and instead of hammer hits thumb, I think it is more like kick in nuts.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 98
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/16/2014 5:09:16 AM
Um...whacking your thumb with a hammer is something you can control, and is more painful than the dating and rejection process - unless of course you take it too personally. Why are people throwing having a single life into the context of medical pain? Ridiculous.

Comparing romantic rejection to homelessness is just over-dramatic and not really worthy of analyzing. Having a job AND a place to live are not even close to the same thing as being turned down for a date, One is about survival, one isn't even necessary in day to day life. SMH
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 99
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/16/2014 12:27:54 PM
^^It's interesting that your response to my post was that there are men out there that kill women due to sexual rejection. What in my post do you connect to killing women? Clearly those people were already not well and something set them off. Are you comparing guys here to these men?

I'm not talking about people with mental or emotional instability, I'm talking about your average dater. If someone is looking at date rejection this harshly the problem clearly lies with their mindset about it. I'm saying that it is NOT a life or death situation to be without a date - it's much more problematic to be homeless as you actually NEED somewhere to live. You do not NEED a date no matter how you want to spin it.

I'm not saying there aren't people who are off their rockers and take extreme measures as a reaction to dating or something else, I'm saying people who are connecting the two in general are being melodramatic. Period.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 100
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In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/16/2014 1:24:24 PM
How the hell is constant rejection comparable to homelessness?!?

Yall can keep the pusswah if it means I can have a roof over my head and a warm meal in my belly. Rejection happens to us guys alot. Some more than others, but nothing as dramatic as homelessness. Though women are wonderful, sexy, and sweet, you can be happy without a woman. Being happy on the street cold and hungry is way more difficult I imagine.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 101
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/16/2014 2:21:00 PM
Activemelaney, on my case its a discomfort for me to be rejected b/c...well, why do you think I'm even asking someone out? On a lark? :) couldn't find a better conversation starter? :) I'm doing it for a specific purpose, and I failed to obtain that specific purpose. I want something pleasurable and beneficial (not just sex, the whole enchilada), and I'm being turned down for that experience. Its like thinking you're gonna, I don't know, get paid $100 for your work and then you find out you aren't. its a bummer.

It may even be likely, that the person I'm asking isn't a stranger, but someone I know and have to keep conducting a prior relationship with...which exists no longer, since I "went there". I took a gamble and it failed. Who enjoys failure? Well, if you have a decent success rate, then failure isn't that big of a deal. Fail 80% of time or more, however...its like watching a person lose $10. A millionaire doesn't care, a homeless person sure does. that $10 loss means less to the one who has much more money to lose.

I don't ask people out b/c I'm lonely--I'm used to being alone. Getting a date is actually an encumberance--I have to plan the time driving out to meet them, driving to the destination, driving them home, driving myself home, etc. easier just to go when I want, leave when I want, spend what I want. When I ask someone out, its only b/c I think they offer something that will make the time we spend together, worth all the planning and sacrifice of not doing every little thing I want, b/c they may want to check out something else instead.

were I actually getting hit on all the time, as you had posted...yeah, it would be different. It feels nice to be desired by someone. I know what you mean about enjoying the chase....its all I do now. To put it in WiP's terms, I don't hit my thumb with the hammer anymore.

why is dating so personal to me? I guess its b/c...I achieved everything else by 18 already :) I already had a decent place no roomies, was already learning how to cook, wasn't in debt, traveled, had my Mustang...what else was there that I really needed? Well, I had no one to share it with. It wasn't that getting a date was the center of my life (college was at that moment),it was that if I COULD achieve something, what was my excuse for not achieving it? Life wasn't for putting off, it was for living.

and having fun with someone other than just my own company...that's part of living. People who have had siblings and a life of partners may be real interested in some alone time at this part of their life. Me, I've done it in reverse--had all the "me time" already. Try 4 decades of "no", and you may agree :) But yea, I'd love to have the "success rate" of others who think its no big deal--there's a lot in my life that I don't consider a big deal, b/c I have a lot of it. Its a bit like that joke, sex is like oxygen--no big deal until you aren't getting any.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 102
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In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/16/2014 3:47:35 PM

^^It's interesting that your response to my post was that there are men out there that kill women due to sexual rejection. What in my post do you connect to killing women? Clearly those people were already not well and something set them off. Are you comparing guys here to these men?

I'm not talking about people with mental or emotional instability, I'm talking about your average dater. If someone is looking at date rejection this harshly the problem clearly lies with their mindset about it. I'm saying that it is NOT a life or death situation to be without a date - it's much more problematic to be homeless as you actually NEED somewhere to live. You do not NEED a date no matter how you want to spin it.

I'm not saying there aren't people who are off their rockers and take extreme measures as a reaction to dating or something else, I'm saying people who are connecting the two in general are being melodramatic. Period.


While dating isn't an life or death situation or comparable to homelessness both men and women have gone crazy over it and while it's never that serious, human beings are meant to have some form of intimacy with other human beings. People can be homeless but as long as they have significant other with them it makes their lives slightly easier, the loneliness can make someone go crazy. I didn't realize how much I missed being with a woman until I joined the Coast Guard and was in bootcamp for two months. It wasn't really about sex or feeling horny all the time (because I didn't really have time to even feel that way), I just missed women, I can't really explain it except I just missed the intimacy. Touching, cuddling, kissing etc....Someone who is constantly rejected over and over again I can see why they would feel hurt over it and how it can be painful. Personally I don't care if I'm rejected, it's gotten to the point in which I'm numb to it. I hate the tease of it because I can get a girls number and go out on a few dates but it never goes further to the point that I just count down the days and see if I can time it right so when I get that text "Hey you're a nice guy but......"
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 103
In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/16/2014 8:01:03 PM

Activemelaney, on my case its a discomfort for me to be rejected b/c...well, why do you think I'm even asking someone out? On a lark? :) couldn't find a better conversation starter? :) I'm doing it for a specific purpose, and I failed to obtain that specific purpose. I want something pleasurable and beneficial (not just sex, the whole enchilada), and I'm being turned down for that experience. Its like thinking you're gonna, I don't know, get paid $100 for your work and then you find out you aren't. its a bummer.

You can't compare service for pay to projected interest that isn't established. Either someone is interested in you or they aren't. All you're doing by asking is finding out either way. It's not a mission you failed to accomplish. Dating isn't done in business plan terms because it involves the consent of another human being to progress.

It may even be likely, that the person I'm asking isn't a stranger, but someone I know and have to keep conducting a prior relationship with...which exists no longer, since I "went there". I took a gamble and it failed. Who enjoys failure? Well, if you have a decent success rate, then failure isn't that big of a deal. Fail 80% of time or more, however...its like watching a person lose $10. A millionaire doesn't care, a homeless person sure does. that $10 loss means less to the one who has much more money to lose.

A lack of attraction isn't failure. It's not an affront to anyone. It just is what it is. You aren't at fault for learning it, and they aren't at fault for informing you. How much control do you think you have over a woman's basic interest?

I don't ask people out b/c I'm lonely--I'm used to being alone. Getting a date is actually an encumberance--I have to plan the time driving out to meet them, driving to the destination, driving them home, driving myself home, etc. easier just to go when I want, leave when I want, spend what I want. When I ask someone out, its only b/c I think they offer something that will make the time we spend together, worth all the planning and sacrifice of not doing every little thing I want, b/c they may want to check out something else instead.

Some aren't worth it. Some aren't interested in the offer. This isn't about your formula or effort or approach - you have nothing to do with how it turns out. You're just gathering information.

were I actually getting hit on all the time, as you had posted...yeah, it would be different. It feels nice to be desired by someone. I know what you mean about enjoying the chase....its all I do now. To put it in WiP's terms, I don't hit my thumb with the hammer anymore.

I hate this theory. Regardless of your options you are who you are. If no one ever hit on me it wouldn't make me suddenly long for a companion. I likely wouldn't anyway - because that's my personality.

why is dating so personal to me? I guess its b/c...I achieved everything else by 18 already :) I already had a decent place no roomies, was already learning how to cook, wasn't in debt, traveled, had my Mustang...what else was there that I really needed? Well, I had no one to share it with. It wasn't that getting a date was the center of my life (college was at that moment),it was that if I COULD achieve something, what was my excuse for not achieving it? Life wasn't for putting off, it was for living.

I don't get the someone to share things with theory - but I'm not going to minimize it, I'll just move on. I can't relate.

and having fun with someone other than just my own company...that's part of living. People who have had siblings and a life of partners may be real interested in some alone time at this part of their life. Me, I've done it in reverse--had all the "me time" already.

I have a lot of friends, I have a small amount of family - to me these are my unconditional sources of human support and interaction. Partners come and go. Those people are constant.

Try 4 decades of "no", and you may agree :) But yea, I'd love to have the "success rate" of others who think its no big deal--there's a lot in my life that I don't consider a big deal, b/c I have a lot of it. Its a bit like that joke, sex is like oxygen--no big deal until you aren't getting any.

I disagree. Again, who you are is who you are. You are either the type that makes a big deal out of pairing off or you aren't. Who you dated or didn't date isn't connected to that typically.

While dating isn't an life or death situation or comparable to homelessness both men and women have gone crazy over it and while it's never that serious, human beings are meant to have some form of intimacy with other human beings.
There are a ton of other types of people in one's life they can get interaction from. An SO is not the only form of human contact. You can set yourself up to think it is for you but for many it just isn't.

People can be homeless but as long as they have significant other with them it makes their lives slightly easier, the loneliness can make someone go crazy.

One can be content single and isolated. One can be lonely in a relationship or in a crowded room. Who you're with or not doesn't guarantee you a certain feeling.

I didn't realize how much I missed being with a woman until I joined the Coast Guard and was in boot camp for two months. It wasn't really about sex or feeling horny all the time (because I didn't really have time to even feel that way), I just missed women, I can't really explain it except I just missed the intimacy. Touching, cuddling, kissing etc....Someone who is constantly rejected over and over again I can see why they would feel hurt over it and how it can be painful.

This is all mindset, however. Sure, you can allow it to affect you that way - or you can decide not to.

Personally I don't care if I'm rejected, it's gotten to the point in which I'm numb to it. I hate the tease of it because I can get a girls number and go out on a few dates but it never goes further to the point that I just count down the days and see if I can time it right so when I get that text "Hey you're a nice guy but......"

If you're really numb to it you'll just enjoy the dates for as long as they last and move on without hesitation to meet someone new. If you are trying to figure out when it's going to go south you are likely not as numb as you think.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 104
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In general, is rejection more difficult for men or for women?
Posted: 10/16/2014 10:24:14 PM
I still feel that intimacy is an basic human instinct, it does fall under Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and while there are other forms of intimacy that doesn't involve sex, relationships, humans still tend to want to be loved and have a sense of belonging. No matter how big or small the social group is there's still a need to feel like they belong somewhere and loved sexually and non-sexually. Which then improves their self-esteem, self-confidence, self-respect etc...Like I said intimacy isn't a physiological need but it's still a need for most people. I think it's natural to feel wanted, desired, etc...even the homeless feel the need to have sex even if that should be the last thing they should be worried about.

And while I would personally disagree with the thought process I'm assuming it's only natural that constant rejection can lead to lower self-esteem, maybe some bitterness, "what ifs" it would be like applying for jobs and not getting hired, it becomes frustrating.


If you're really numb to it you'll just enjoy the dates for as long as they last and move on without hesitation to meet someone new. If you are trying to figure out when it's going to go south you are likely not as numb as you think.


No I don't care. Maybe I'm annoyed for a day or so then I stop caring and I date again. It's like clockwork at this point. I don't want to fall into a sense of apathy towards dating because I feel that just leads to shitty dates and a negative attitude. The tease and the potential is the most annoying part, to go back to the job analogy. I had a shit ton of close calls, getting called back for an second interview, actually starting a new job only for the company to do mass layoffs right after I got hired, a company putting us on furlough right, a few weeks after I started working. Those were more frustrating than outright not getting the job.

But to each their own. I personally rather have a job and make sure my basic needs before I start worrying about dating in fact that's why I stayed single for so long before I joined the military. I didn't have a job and wasn't going to start seriously dating until I found one and brought something to the table besides my good looks.
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