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 lovin2blivin
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 4
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Dating and ODSPPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
People don't live on ODSP, they barely exist! If you have any self esteem left, they must have missed something
Sorry, if you are on ODSP you can't afford to 'date', have a meal out and take someone or do anything beyond the point of survival unless you have been assigned a 'worker'. (due to mental challenges) If you can manage to work part-time, you might have a little breathing space, but beyond that...they pretty well own your soul!

It is sad the way ppl on ODSP are treated and the 'conditions' to which they are subjected. In a lot of cases, ppl are using their food money for rent. How can anyone who is on this system hope to find someone who is willing to accept them with a disability and no finances?

Some people can accept a disability and look past it to the person within, but not many would consider a future of struggle due to financial issues, unless they had sufficient funds to carry two people in the land of dating.

I'd be saying, be honest and up front, because the subject will eventually be revealed and it does restrict a lot of things that women are looking forward to doing when they date.

Friends will always be out there for you, but unless your financial situation changes it will be a difficult journey.

Wishing you the Best
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 6
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Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/5/2007 6:34:34 AM
It is quite unfortunate in this situation, that people are not accepted upon thier merit, but upon thier income and how it is achieved. Another unfortunate issue is those that misuse and defraud the system, they make it hard on others who rely on the funds legitimately. There is a stigma that is difficult to overcome, with no real answers of how to achieve that. All you can do is to keep looking for the one understanding person that can see your situation as not being a problem.
 pangel
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 11
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Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:26:18 PM
Snowflakes as one that is on ODSP I totally understand what you are going through..unfortunatly there are some narrow minded people who can't get passed the not working issue..it's very sad we are labelled an passed over before someone actually takes the time to get to know us..I myself have been on ODSP for about a yr now due to a failed back surgery that I no longer can do the work before that I used to..but that doesn't make me less of a person actually makes me a better one as I am more understanding of others.Hang in there an keep your head held up high..
 DJ_Lil_Jay
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 13
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Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/31/2008 12:02:45 PM
tried to post on this yesterday but i got an error lol.

Some very good posts here and its unfortunate that some people are more curious to know how much one has in their wallet...than whats in their heart

For the majority of ODSP cases the persons disability/illness makes it impossible for them to work. For myself and others on ODSP we do make an effort to contribute to society by doing volunteer work. Which is a great expereince!

So as for myself and others on ODSP or recive other financial assistance we want someone that is looking for a person with a big heart and not one whos a human ATM machine
 fawnangel
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 29
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:50:15 AM
The biggest thing that scare a lot of people away from others on ODSP..is that if you become serious and move in together or married...the person on ODSP will actully loose some of it. 2 married people ODSP will give 1600 to live.....if one person is working...what they make comes off the other's ODSP. SO if that person is making 1800 dollars a month...they will end up support the person on ODSP.

I do not see anything the matter with people on ODSP...I qualify for it myself....along with Canada Disability ....but I can make more than what they will give me by working just one day a week....and I usually can always manange at least that...even when I was in my worst shape....lol ...But I know a lot are not as lucky as I am that way.

Again I am not knocking it...am just explaining why some might be concerned about dating someone on it.

Beth
 fawnangel
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 31
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:04:33 AM
Hi GG....very true....most cannot find work that allows them to do it when they are able. I am an accountant....and simply work for myself. As long as I meet the deadlines....people don't much care when I work etc.

At the moment tho...I am feeling very well...and working more than 40 hours a week...but I know that I can fall or move wrong and not be able to work like this.

ODSP is great for the people that need it. I was simply responding to the question...and gave a reponse to why some people are put off to people on ODSP.

Beth
 fawnangel
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 34
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/13/2008 2:46:26 PM
I have dated and lived with people on ODSP....and ended up supporting them because I made more than they say a "couple" can make.

So would I date someone on ODSP....Yes....would and have.

Would I be hurt KNOWING that people would look at me differently if I did in fact have to go on ODSP....of course...most would. Seems GG you have misjudged me....I answered the question from experience of being there.....not judging anyone or anything. But GG..if you put it in an open forum to contact you if you have any questions...you should take restrictions off your profile so people can in fact message you.
 ALMOST Purrfect
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 36
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Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/14/2008 12:48:57 PM
Some thots for this thread and Hugs & Kisses in particular. I have a Fin'l Planner/Advisor background and therfore 'some' experience with those that can or must "qualify" for OW, ODSP, and/or CPP. I can't guarantee these ideas or techniques will work for you or others but they are worth considering.
1) Regarding your 'Prepaid Funeral Plan', this is actually a 'service' which you have "already purchased" just like clothes or a TV. You can not return or recieve a refund of your purchase price, and selling it a 'third party' is next to impossible not to mention that you would recover a very small portion of what you paid. Since mortality is "100% per person" the system will end up paying the expenses anyways if you don't have resources. Your family/friends are not obliged or required to cover this expense, although at the time of the loss, guilt often causes them to step up & assume the expenses, and regret if soon after.
2) The RESP is a little different. (by the way pretty good foresight and responsible for someone who is looking to 'absue' the system) (sarcasm!) I would approach the issuer of your RESP (bank, insurance co. etc.) and investigate "transferring the responsibility or care" of the RESP to a family member or a trustworthy friend, who are likely to outlive you. Finally, you are NOT the owner of this asset but merely the 'trustee', and you are not entitled to the funds at your child age of 18. Personally, I would be comfortable not offering this info unless it is specifically asked for or referred to 'precisely' in any forms you must complete. Finally, BEFORE disposing of anything of value that you believe (hope) would be exempt, do two things: request in writing that the agency send you a letter referring to the applicable legislation, and if they provide this to you 'appeal' the decision before you surrender it.

Sorry to be so long on this thread, but if anyone elso has questions please feel free to contact me directly. This 'fish' loves to legitimately help people. Good Luck
 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 42
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Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/16/2008 9:54:39 AM
Would you date someone who is on ODSP which means Ontario Disability Support Program, if so why ? Also if not why?



Wellllllllllll....... I actually had a child with the person I dated who is on ODSP. (I just realized how this may look to some people...... whatever).

I can't say I would "never" date someone who is on it.

But based on my experiences with my child's father, I'm not seeking such an individual.

I respect those who truly need to be on ODSP but when someone like my ex is abusing the system... well one has a jaded view of the system as a whole.
 radars72
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 43
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/22/2008 6:15:25 PM
Don't judge people on ODSP too harshly. Many are there not of their own accord!
I dated a woman who was on it and she struggled and raised three kids on the few pennies they gave her each month.
She was on it because of her disorder - Bi-polar disease. She could be a great and passionate woman one minute and the antichrist the next. It was not her fault however as it was more the medication, so I hold no ill will toward her at all. I actually admire her somewhat still, even though we haven't been together for over four years now.

Don't judge people too fast just beacuse they have some disability or another. Get to know them first and let them tell you their story.

Go from there, then with caution...........................
 DJ_Lil_Jay
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 44
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Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:54:17 AM
Radars: well said! There is many people that really do try hard to get the most out of life even though they dont have a full time or part time job due to their disability. Due to my health issues I can't maintain a full time job but I make the most of my time.

I have always wanted to get into radio broadcasting and right now I am a DJ on the internet. It's just for fun at the moment but I have thought about getting a real job out of it. People say I have the voice for radio lol.

There is some people out there that look at me and others on ODSP and underestimate our abilities.

I really don't think that being on ODSP should be the deal breaker for a relationship.

Accept the person for who they are on the inside
 radars72
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 45
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:13:15 PM
On another note...I know a person who worked all his life in a factory and it closed down. He had to retire early as his eyesight was failing.......yes because of the job!
Now the factory is closed, he has no where to go except ODSP as he is now declared legally blind (he can only see a very little bit of light in one eye) and him and his wife live megerly in a small house he bought years ago while he was still working.

Someone else said that "people don't live...they exist."
How true. I have done many things for this friend of mine over the years as favours, as I know he has no money to hire anyone to do them.

Once again I say - do not judge too harshly until you get to know the person. ODSP has a stigma that is unjust. Many people are there not of their own choices.
 dellila
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 61
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/11/2008 9:29:01 AM
Wow Steve!
I am stunned by your intolerance and downright disgust of people with disabilities receiving assistance. I have a very good friend that receives o.d.s.p. and struggles to make ends meet.
I really hope you never become disabled and require assitance, you have no idea what a struggle it is for some people that are unable to work.
I suppose in your world, if you ruled it, you might consider just shipping them off somewhere or God forbid, euthanizing them.
I thought you were a nice guy initially, when we began communicating some time ago. Since reading your posts in the forums, my opinion has changed drastically.
Talk about arrogant, self-centered, self-righteous and full of one's self.
Shame on you!
 dellila
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 70
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:07:17 AM
I am appalled by the prejudices the poor face. Those that "have" just don't get it. Should their lives change drastically one day through a series of unfortunate events, i.e. down-sizing, becoming disabled and unable to work, losing one's home and livelihood, whatever the individuals case may be... then and only then they just might get it. You have to walk a mile in someone else's shoes to understand.

You cannot reason with the self-righteous, the prejudiced, the unkind, it is a waste of energy. My friend experienced a life changing incident and the only thing she could do was apply for disability after all her options ran out. No more u.i., or job pension, its all gone. So where is one expected to turn? When they have worked hard all their lives , paid taxes and contributed, why should they be punished and forced to live below the poverty line? She had to use up all her personal assets that she worked hard for, before applying, she was not allowed to keep anything of value. She was forced into total poverty by the government to begin with, do to the loss of her job and yet they still sucked her dry right to the end. Now she has nothing.

I am not suggesting that these people be given fancy cars and oodles of money. What I am suggesting is that they be allowed to live more than hand to mouth, without all the restrictions and red tape that goes along with being on o.d.s.p.

Why shouldn't a person receiving benefits be able to afford better groceries or a somewhat nicer place to live, not a necessarily a penthouse as ridiculously suggested by someone. Why should they be forced to live in projects and rely on food banks? why shouldn't they have a little extra to go to a movie or out for a bite to eat with friends? Why should they have to stagnate, hidden from society and face intolerance?

"There but for the grace of God, go I."
Some people really need to take this to heart and become a little more compassionate.
 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 79
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:48:05 PM
Oh what the Duck !
I thought ODSP ment Ontario divison of sex providers !
Hell I could see an SP havin hard time finding a fulltime honest mate but not someone who's disabled ......................!!
 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 82
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Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/18/2008 10:16:28 AM
Yes... EVERYONE no matter their financial situation is valid in wanting and receiving love.

I had expressed in my first post that yes there are people on disability through no fault of their own and I respect that.

I know quite a few people who can work and who do under the table and are on ODSP because it's easier for them to wait for a cheque and live their days high or drunk than be active members of society.

Perhaps my view of ODSP and people on it is a bit jaded, and I have blinders on... but when I see how much of my taxes are taken off my cheque that I work 44 hours a week to get, it angers me when I think of the people abusing the system who don't need to be on it.

I'm not saying that those in here with the courage to write in here about being on ODSP are abusing the system. I'm sure you are all very wonderful people. You need to understand where those of us with our guard up are coming from. We are merely attempting to justify why we will or will not date someone on ODSP as was asked in the OP. Yet when you read an answer that you are not happy with you argue it.
 tableguy
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 87
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/18/2008 8:49:30 PM
The ODSP is a program set up by the Ont govern. to help disabled people.As in any program set up by the govern. most adhere to it, some will take advantage, and some will feel guilty they receive anything from the govnt. This is a product of most govn't programs.For those truly disabled, what they are offering is a joke.Its not just the money but its the mentallity of being disabled.That in itself causes more pain then anyone not disabled can imagine.Anyone griping here will not change a thing, We just have to live with it
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 99
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Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:17:18 PM
Oh God, isn't this a loaded forum! I have so many mixed feelings about it.
My ex received WSIB and Canada Pension. Alas, he could not work. However, the guy could go hunting, fishing, ride 4 wheelers. I knew while we were married that he was capable of a day job, the same as me. However, he had anger issues. No boss in their right mind would keep him on and they didn't when he worked. I have seen folks get out to do the daily grind with physical impairments, yet they still worked. I felt really guilty even though I was not the one on a disability pension. I see young kids on benefits as they have young children. Apparently it is the "in" thing to do these days with young ones. Just get preganant and you can get welfare. I look at these poor wee babes born into a lifestyle of poverty. God! I think the entire system needs to be revamped to be quite honest. Having said that? I donot mind our system helping those who truly cannot work and require assistance. And for those who have said that if you are on a disabillity and you shouldn't date? Get a grip! We are all entitled to love!
 Timberghost40
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 102
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/25/2008 5:43:18 AM

For those of you who complain about the amount of money someone who is in ODSP recieves: Why do you not write letters to your MPP? Get things changed!!!


What country do you live in??? In our sick society unfortunately those souls at a disadvantage are considered a burden in the governments eyes. They would rather spend the money on more important things like new furniture for their offices and making new tax loopholes so all their rich friends pay less.

These people don't need the added burden of being scorned because of source of income ... they aren't looking for a hand out... they are just looking for the most basic of all human needs... companionship.
 rick8
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 109
Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/14/2012 8:55:52 AM
Your so right you never know when you can lose your health and end up as a bottom feeder. I've always had bad health but managed to struggle along and even had a two businesses up until the shit hit the fan back in 2005. My I.B.S was intolerable at that point and I went under the knife. I was under the impression that I was going for exploratory surgery but when I woke up I was cut from stem to stern ouch!!!! I returned to my construction business a couple weeks later and my legs got numb because of a compressed root nerve due to my Degenerative Disk Disease. At that point I gave up and it was all down hill after that and I lost everything. Anyway enough with the violin playing for today thanks for listening.

Rick:(
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