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Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 251
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artistic/creative people and relationshipsPage 11 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I can not say that I have ever had a"relationship" with an artist

I would think it could be an amazing thing.........Collaberation (a beautiful word)

I have had a few dates with artists/musicians but many of them definately don't want the competition for attention. And have had women tell me that in those terms.

I have had relationships with women that "appreciated the arts" and that works out pretty good. They seem to enjoy the creative process and how it spills over into the rest of your life.

I also had one that didn't want my artist ventures to cut into 5 minutes of "her" time ....which was anytime I wasn't at work. That almost drove me out of my mind, things are crying to get out but you don't. You live in a hell alone to avoid living in a hell for two
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 252
artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 11/28/2007 11:32:48 PM
I am an artist and have been my entire life. Only once did I date someone similar, a
writer and editor. It was a very special relationship and we keep in touch to this day,
almost 15 years later.
I have dated a few others, borderline , a hair salon owner and stylist, someone who
designed and installed tile floors. Both guys were great and had this extra sensitivity
that I found intoxicating.
I`ve pretty much for the most part always dated quite technical and disciplined people, engineers,doctors, therapists, managers, but they just don`t seem to have a "soul".
Overall, I have been much happier with another creative person, and thanks because I never thought of it that much before. Maybe I need to stick with those guys.
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 253
artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 11/28/2007 11:55:56 PM
creativity is timeless and ageless. (disagree with jaymore -mess. 274 -even though i'm exactly his averaged age...well, 49.75, i am and have always been extremely young at heart!)

perhaps because i've always been creative (musically and dance and worked for artists for years) and i've always been in close relationships with creative people....just who i naturally am attracted to, as they are naturally attracted to me.

i do not think being actively creative means the relationship will be more loving or lasting for sometimes an 'artist' can be quite self absorbed.

these days most people I find are creative (even if not in traditional ways), and nearly all can appreciate creativity. i have sought to be with those who are focused on working towards and creating for 'the good of everyone'......mixing creativity with spirituality really and here I find the most loving people.
Joined: 9/30/2006
Msg: 254
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artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 12/12/2007 12:15:50 AM
Poster dreedee said:

Oftentimes, a creative couple can be a train wreck, as both are so focused on their endeavors that it's like two people fighting for center stage. As for myself, I value someone who appreciates creativity--art, music, etc.--and understands it, perhaps more than another artist who may not even "get" me and my work .

Hurrah. Competing for center stage is ridiculous, but encouraging each other to BE center stage in our area of passion/expertise is everything--and recognizing each other's unique contributions in this regard is an unrivaled blessing In other words, the other person's talent is an inspiration to living.

Covers a multitude of setbacks, but only if two people are outwardly focused on giving. Probably more emotion than the average logical mentality, because you alone can assess the worth of the passion, motivation, and dedication. These are the biggest selling points for me. One who desires to entertain through creativity and spirit rather than merely seek entertainment wins my heart.
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 255
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artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 12/12/2007 1:18:36 PM

I sometimes find you can put people into 2 categories....

Creative and Intellectual.

Actually, I cannot agree with that. I happen to know of some fine intellectuals who are also very creative types. For instance, there are three attorneys and at least two practicing medical doctors who are consistently on the New York Times best seller list for mysteries. A couple engineers, too, now that I think about it. The most advertised (best selling) novel at the moment was written by a physician.

I worked in medical research most of my adult life, yet have a few songs published, as well as a couple thousand articles -- and a novel coming up soon.

And another thing . . . if you don’t think that research, and design engineering, are “creative,” it would only be because you have no experience in these fields. Like an artist, these folks must also have the ability to envision the end product in their mind before starting a project.

I prefer creative types -- no matter what their field -- simply because many are also clear thinkers.

Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 256
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artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 12/12/2007 1:36:58 PM

I sometimes find you can put people into 2 categories....

Creative and Intellectual.

Wow! That generalization had me shaking my head, too.

Just about every writer worth anything in a historical perspective, and almost all the writers I've known in my life, can easily be put into the category of "intellectual".

Even a so-called naturally "uneducated" genius like Dostoyevsky, though he despised intellectual circles and their socializing ilk, was nevertheless an intellectual giant.

One of the greatest poets to come out of the U.S., Wallace Stevens, was the vice-president of one of the country's top insurance agencies, a business where iron-clad logic is paramount. Yet, he, too, was a creative and intellectual genius.

I've heard this same argument by others, and my own take on it is that they're dreaming up a false dichotomy between "thinking" people and "feeling, intuitive" ones, and (of course) following that up by siding with the supposed "superior" "feeling"- types.

I may have commented on this thread before, but if not, the problem for some artistic individuals in a relationship (for a VERY small minority) is that their art consumes them: it is, indeed, their life. Any spouse or LTR partner is going to justifiably feel neglected in such a pairing. But, again, this is anomalous.

Far more common are other self-loving artist-wannabes who put on superior airs regarding their own talent and "authority", which plays in like manner with their partner, as well.

But, by far, the more positive reality is that a creative person, whatever avenue or profession that takes, tends to be much more interesting, curious, open-minded, young-hearted, and relationship-engaged than someone who (what's the opposite of creative?) does the same thing every day for the rest of their lives and is complacently OK with that.
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 257
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artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 12/12/2007 1:43:12 PM
simply because someone uses left brain or right brain doesn't mean they have the market cornered on intellect or creativity.

was da vinci intellectual? look at his experiments. look at his anatomical diagrams. was he creative? look at 'virgin of the rocks.'

a razor-sharp scientific mind does not necessarily preclude creative genius.

Wallace Stevens, was the vice-president of one of the country's top insurance agencies, a business where iron-clad logic is paramount.

sidenote: please explain to my insurance company that logic is paramount. they missed that memo.
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 258
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artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 12/12/2007 2:13:53 PM
I've been a singer/musician/artist my whole life. I have had relatioinships with creative men and not so creative men. If a man has an enormous heart, great passion and a zest for life, his creative talents don't much matter to me.
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 259
artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 12/12/2007 2:17:33 PM
i'm a singer/songwriter/musician/radio jock... and i've dated guys that had no artistic or creative talents and it never worked out. i'm not saying there's anything wrong with the working class hero... i'm just saying that they didn't work for me. usually they were looking for someone to stay at home, tend to their house and look after them as they 'brought home the bacon.' as an artist person i can't be caged... that's the worst thing you can do to someone like me so they never worked out. i didn't want to be a stay at home mom... and they didn't want to learn about what really makes me tick creatively. nine times out of ten they just didn't care...

dating artistic/creative people i find easier even if they're creative in other fields. they might not share my talents in the music field but they understand what it's like to create something... they also understand the creative mind a little better seeing as they're creative themselves. i wouldn't date a working class hero again... not because they're wrong and i'm right... but because we just don't mesh. it's nice to sit around with someone and discuss my newest song and get feedback from them rather than have them look at me, snort and tell me 'i'm wasting my time with flights of fancy.'
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 260
artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:16:17 PM
I've dated several musicians, but music is only a hobby of mine (that is how I met them). I find that there were always conflicts along these lines:

- they have a hard time managing day-to-day problems/expenses (to pay the bills, they are often forced to do jobs that are not in their area of passion, i.e., food service industry).
- they don't take criticism very well (not just about their music!).

Curiously, these are also listed as "weaknesses" in the INFJ personality page (which is the personality that often is artists).

Except for one woman I know who has a PhD in music and is teaching at a university, I haven't known any musicians that got 401K plans through work, or even health insurance. I find I steer clear of musician/artistic types nowadays, not because I think they're no good for society (I'm still attracted to their creative talents, drive and hard work), but that they're a liability for me in a relationship because of the weaknesses mentioned above.
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 261
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artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:06:13 AM
I consider myself an artistic person, and most of the people I've dated appreciate art, but wouldn't be considered artistic. (i.e. they're more conservative, work as engineers or some other similar field, but still enjoy festivals, jazz shows or other artsy functions). Lately I've been trying to meet other artistic people for dating. Stability is important for me though - I'm not looking for wealth, but I think I'd have a hard time dating an artist who wasn't working a steady job and couldn't afford to go out (and not all artists are like that, of course - I know lots of stable, very creative/inspired artists.)
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 262
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artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:24:11 AM
I think I stated this earlier in this thread (like sometime early in '07)...

I'M AN ARTIST...and speak from the gut...and I'm just marking your cards...

(1) We tend to live in our own worlds...

(2) We are somewhat/totally offbeat in our thinking...

(3) We tend to live our lives within a spectrum that ranges from slightly irresponsible to outright burning the candle on both ends...

(4) IMPORTANT POINT TO PONDER: We are not the most economically minded individuals to have around, as we tend to be extremely proficient at spending OPM (Other People's Money)...For example, give us a $300,000.00 dollar budget to make/design something, and we will generally spend that amount, often going overboard...

(5) We tend to like doing what we want whenever we want to, regardless of what you may think, feel, or claim that you have done for us...Our kind would be the first to throw you the "You don't own me!" statement...

Think about it!
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 263
artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:40:39 AM

Do people who are artistically talented, tend to seek out relationships with other artistic people?

I used to, I don't anymore. I want someone who compliments me, I dont need a clone.

Does a creative person feel that they have more in common, with another creative person?

Yes, but that doesn't equal a satisfying relationship. I like to think that a successful couple fills in each other's gaps. I tend to go for logical math-brained types now to balance my emotional art-brain.

Does an artist feel they'd be better understood, or their talents more appreciated by another artist?

I have found the opposite to be true. In a two-artist household, there can be creative competition. Not necessarily a bad thing if ego's are in check, but two creative egos under one roof is volatile.

Do you intentionally seek out other artistic/creative people?

Don't have to. Birds of a feather and all that...

Have you had relationships with artistic and/or non-artistic people? and did you notice a difference in compatability between the two?

I had an eight year relationship with another musician. I had a six year relationship with someone who thought Rush was the pinnacle of artistic achievement.
I loved them both but I wasn't really compatible with either man or I wouldnt be here.

Just because someone isn't an 'artist' does not mean they are not creative. I think every single person is an artist, some just havent found their medium yet.
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 264
artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/10/2008 5:15:54 PM
My dad owned a music studio and his sisters owned a dance studio. I grew up in both. I danced from the age of three and taught and performed for many years.

Except for once, (which didn't work out because we were too young) I've never dated anyone who I'd consider an artist. So far those relationships have bored me.

I find I connect quickly to musicians and artists and I would like to meet someone who understands me on this level. I'm just not sure I'd go out specifically looking for that.
Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 265
Dating artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/10/2008 5:35:17 PM
I was married for 20 years to a very creative man. He can play almost any instrument, he draws, paints, writes, and has even done some unique solar etchings on wood. This is what initially attracted me to him. I play guitar and sing, plus dabble in the visual arts.
While I am basically attracted to the artistic individual, even as a friend, I have found that I usually maintain a lasting friendship with those who are more logical and dogmatic.
I have two artistic children who inherited their father's talents. This made for very interesting discussions and get togethers when they were teens.
But,, I would say , I believe we all have talents. To me one of the most incredible talents known to man is the ability to handle physics....Or fix an electrical problem......
Now there's a gift. It is truly all in the eye of the beholder.
Joined: 6/17/2007
Msg: 266
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Dating artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/10/2008 6:55:31 PM
This is an interesting question.
As an artistic person myself, I have a couple of thoughts on the matter.
My longest relationship (4 years) was with a non-artistic person. She would appreciate the creativeness I would bring to the table, but during that four years I began to lose a lot of what made me, me. When I date creative people, there is more in common, yes, but the realtionship is usually a little more volitile. Sometimes there is needless competition. Creative types are a little more sensitive, but that is harder when communicating.

Lately I've been looking for people who have an understanding of what I do and how to deal with it. I think I'm leaning toward the more creative type.
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 267
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Dating artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/10/2008 7:13:30 PM
I knew this thread sounded familiar - and realized why when I clicked on this last page of it and found my previous post as my previous identity at the top of this page!

Anyway, I'll try again, as it has been a few months since answering before - yes, basically, to the OPoster's questions. I am creative and I do find all my relationships are and have always been with creative people.....and, really, my close friendships are also with creative people.

Why? Because it is what naturally happens I find, and also because most people do have creativity in them. As I wrote before, I am attracted to people who tend to be creative and spiritual, for they seem to so often go together. It is just natural for me and them to attract each other and get along - perhaps because there is this innate thing we have in common and can appreciate in each other.

It is, basically, one of those essential areas of connection that gives a great basis for compatibility....never mind making music together, literally, is magical.
Joined: 9/30/2006
Msg: 268
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artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:19:52 PM
Just thought: Creative:imaginative, and the opposite, unimaginative. I tend to appreciate the artistic, the expressive, but I'm drawn to the logical and orderly mindset (if it's big-hearted). Imaginative folk span many realms. Like the previous poster, I'm looking for people who show not simply an understanding, but an INTEREST in what I do--and I'm talking about house/home, clothing/diet, work/hobbies, exercise/expression. A piano player who can't pay bills, a snappy dresser who sees no worth in (my opus) the garden, an intellect whose diet consists of prepackaged chocolate donuts, a dancer whose cars are veritable death traps...oops...that sums up my dating experiences.
Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 269
Dating artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:21:19 PM
Gotta say this is a good one to think about. And I know this isn't a perfect answer but it's mine.
I'm considered an artistic personality more then an intellectual. My friends are creative types and more imaginative then most people I've known. I get along well with people that have a similar mind set as me. On the other hand I have hardly ever gone out with other creative type people.
Flings - Absolutely.
Meaningful long term relationships - Not a hope.

Passion seems to be the limiting factor and the key to this in my experience. Passion is intense, fun, and wild but lasts a short time. Think of a match being lit. Hot, bright, and intense but it goes out quickly.
Then you have the non-artistic type person that is more like a hot ember which is consistently warm, not nearly as destructive, and comfortable to be near. Not to mention long lasting.

One of each is my ideal for a long term relationship. One person to be the rock and the other to be the fire. Two fires burn to fast and two rocks are cold and lifeless. But one of each and you get a steady warmth that lasts. The perfect mix, at least in my opinion.

Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 270
artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:37:55 PM

Creative:imaginative, and the opposite, unimaginative
I think the comparison between creativity and imagination is interesting.

I suppose there's many examples of imaginative people proving to be creative, and unimaginative people proving to be non-creative.
I think I may be a person who defies that example. I'm pretty imaginative. But I really have no type of creative talent.
Joined: 7/12/2007
Msg: 271
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artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:58:46 AM
tug girl
thanx for the post it ws nive to read threw the post about this subject and find like mindedness. In thinking for the most part I am turned on by independent thinker and creative people. And I find the beauty of there creativity exist in all that they do. and in thinking in spending time with people not as creative but talented in ways I was suffocted I am creative in allway , my home cooking with children writing drawing
just creating in any way I am drawn ...gardening and I truely find I can drive a person to distraction that does not get me ....I get a vision and I am willing to work days in a focus to create the out come . And some one mentioned sensativity that is also true of me I am sensual and this motivates many things and I need the freedom to live creatively in order to be at peace ........I do massage and use scent based on intuition
for the induvidual this is also another aspect of my creativity to attune my self to others .......
I know I do much better when I can share especially in creative projects
and another thought
some thing I found for me .......lots of people are turned on by porno my turn on it the color and texture of are very stimulation the core
any one else experience this
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 272
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Dating artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:04:19 PM
I don't seek out other artists/musicians.....just someone with a good heart
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 273
artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:29:30 PM
I am both an intellectual and a creative type. My passion is writing fiction, but I have held down jobs too and am quite responsible. I paint, sculpt, write, and am passionate about artistic pursuits. It is a myth to think creative/artistic types are irresponsible. I have known CEOs who are irresponsible and go bankrupt. Professions do not denote responsibility.

I have worked in the corporate world and now steer clear of business types. I like to unstarch their shirts, but they looked down on my imagination and creative spirit. I found them to be quite judgemental and rigid minded, which is tough in relationships.

I am thinking of becoming a professor, but I am not a political animal and there are a lot of politics at colleges.
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 274
artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:31:52 PM

It is a myth to think creative/artistic types are irresponsible.
Maybe the word "always" should be in order here, just like anything else. For every economically successful artist, wouldn't you agree there are 10 or 100 or 1000 who are waiting tables to pay the rent? That doesn't make any of them necessarily irresponsible, but they're surely spending a lot of time doing work that's not part of their passion. It's hard to make a comfortable living as an artist. None of my 5+ artist friends is surviving on their music/acting/photography/painting. My artistic exes either were a) happy with their focus on artistic endeavors and unable to help out with the grocery bills or mortgage payments, or b) stuck in crappy jobs with no retirement plans and where they weren't using their true talents. When I said I steer clear of artists now, it's for the above reasons. Our society has a prejudice against artists...

I am thinking of becoming a professor, but I am not a political animal and there are a lot of politics at colleges.
I also didn't want to become a prof because of the politics. But I found you can make as much of politics as you want, just like anywhere. There were politics when I was playing in a garage band in college. There are politics in any company with more than, say, 5-10 people. I worked in industry for 15 years and as a prof for 7 years now, and can say that it's possible to get by with a minimal amount of politics anywhere.

The key is to be in a place that recognizes added value (sadly the art world isn't always about talent!). To succeed one must focus on what one knows, rather than on playing politics. Any good management training will tell you it's unwise to ignore politics in a company. But if you spend energy on things that are outside your "sphere of control" (what you know or control as a manager at a company), usually this will cause your sphere of control to contract rather than expand. It's kind of a corollary to the serenity prayer: recognizing the difference between what you can and cannot change, accepting what you can't change, focusing on what you can change.

In the art world, isn't it supposed to be editors/producers/promoters who take care of most of the politics? None of my artist friends has anything good to say about his/her editor/producer/promoter...
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 275
artistic/creative people and relationships
Posted: 6/11/2008 4:48:39 PM
I am a creative person ,(drawing/painting) and also mechanically inclined (automotive design and fabrication). I have been with creative people and non creative ones too.
While I never seek out creative women I do think they have a slightly better understanding of what the creative process is like. For example, jumping up in the middle of the night when an idea strikes. But it can also be a double edge sword. She thinks you should do this or that and you think otherwise. All in all I think my relationship came out about even. When I was with a non-creative woman who was very supportive of me and my "artistic side" the relationship was just fine.
Artistic/creative people tend to be high strung, meaning when they agree it's all good but if they disagree with each other, all hell may break loose. That was a very thought provoking question, good one.
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